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Original poster

Your experiences of 'Baby on Board' badges

119 replies

Cherryblossom200 · 26/09/2014 16:34

Hi everyone,

I'm interested in hearing your experiences of wearing a baby on board badge? I've got a badge but haven't worn it yet, I'm just over 20 weeks now and have a rather large bump now so I don't feel comfortable being squished on the tube at rush hour. I've resisted wearing the badge up until now because I don't like drawing attention to myself Blush but I think it's time I put my badge on now!

I'm finding that when people see my bump who are sitting in the designated seats for pregnant/elderly people they tend to ignore me but other people always offer their seat Hmm

Cherry x

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Kellyg789 · 27/09/2014 09:19

I wear mine on the overground and underground , think it's helps people being mindful of you. Some people ignore it but others offer a seat. To be honest if you need to sit you need to tap that person on the shoulder and ask, wearing the badge will mean you don't have to explain why . Also if there are no seats on national rail , Generally they let you sit in first class without charging you . After 5 months you can get upgraded to first for free

broodysnoopstie · 27/09/2014 09:24

I wear one at 22 weeks pregnant and have done since fainting on a packed commuter train at 12 weeks. I get a seat given to me by men in suits mainly. women don't seem to care!

MrsToddsShortcut · 27/09/2014 09:37

I wore mine on the tube when pregnant with DD1. I remember on a really packed Northern Line train, a nice young man leapt up to offer me his seat, and as he did so, actually saying "oh, you're pregnant! Have my seat", the man squashed up next to me dived forward and into the space.

He was very unimpressed when the nice young man pointed out that the seat was for me and asked him to move Grin

On the other hand, I made the mistake of wearing it at the airport when I was 24 weeks. I got stopped at security for the first time ever, had all my luggage opened and searched and questioned at length about my trip. When I asked why they had stopped me, they explained that loads of smugglers use pregnant women as mules, as they were traditionally unlikely to be stopped.

Messygirl · 27/09/2014 11:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Patienceisapparentlyavirtue · 27/09/2014 12:12

I agree with pps more people should ask directly - especially because I always feel like it's the nicest people (and IME often quite a bit older people) who offer the seats and then seem to get punished vs the arsey 15 year olds slouching wide-legged in a priority seat with their gaze carefully focused on their phones.

GoogleyEyes · 27/09/2014 12:45

I used to put my badge on my collar and turn it so it was visible on the tube, but not visible when I did the coat up and was walking on the pavement. You could do the same with pinning it to a scarf. Somehow made me less embarrassed to wear it, as Infelt it was fine on the tube but precious when just walking around.

Original poster
Cherryblossom200 · 27/09/2014 12:52

I took my badge off as soon as I left the tube. I really don't get women walking around with the badges on in the street etc that to me is princessy. A girl at the maternity hospital I went to was wearing her's at the maternity clinic, I was like um you are at the maternity clinic we can tell you are pregnant Hmm why are you wearing a TFL badge in the middle of your dress..very odd.

OP posts:
elkiedee · 27/09/2014 12:54

I never got round to getting one as I didn't know about it at the beginning and then wasn't sure where to ask. But I think I should have got on to it as it might have been helpful. In my first pregnancy I didn't really show much until over 5 months, and really only at 7 months did I look definitely pregnant and people did start offering me seats. But for me it was often before I showed that I would have appreciated seats most - I was terrified of being knocked around.

Second time round I showed much sooner, but there were several times when I was shown no sympathy, and a badge might have helped give me the courage to say something. One night in late November/early January (with a baby due in late January, the tube broke down and there was a football match on at Arsenal. The bus, which I probably would have got anyway to where I was going, was quite full of football fans none of whom were going to offer me their seat, and I had to stand all the way up Caledonian Road (about 2 miles) before any seats finally came free.

As for those who ask why Londoners don't talk to each other, priority seats are often filled by people who deliberately make it very difficult for anyone to speak to them - headphones on, newspaper spread out as much as possible. And it doesn't surprise me that people offered seats from the middle - considerate people don't grab the priority seats when there are others available. No doubt the people in the priority seats on the tube who don't need them are also the ones who think others on the bus should stand just so that they can have two seats to themselves.

kkllww · 27/09/2014 13:09

I wear mine on the tube and have generally had people offer me a seat as soon as they see it. Although last week one woman in the priority seat glanced up, saw me, and quickly looked down at her paper again! The guy next to me asked her to move so I could sit though :) ; normally I'll ask but at times I just feel a bit embarrassed. It's as much about warning ppl you're pg so they don't squash you as much as the seat issue.
Agree that walking around in the street with them looks quite dickish though - I always unclip mine as soon as i leave the underground.

Flingmoo · 27/09/2014 13:25

I wore one and 9 times out of 10, even when I had a ginormous, obvious bump, not hidden by scarves or coats as it was summer, no-one gave me their seat, leaving me to conclude that the general public are mainly ignorant, selfish dicks.

Once on a crowded train, my friend embarrassed me by purposely talking loudly about the baby and did I feel okay standing up, and still no-one gave me their seat, despite standing right next to the priority seats. Eventually a woman stood up and gave me her seat, acting as though she was being so very kind, but then got off at the next stop anyway - what a sarcrifice...!

I know I should have just asked... But was too shy and don't want to make a scene in a crowded place.

KarmaViolet · 27/09/2014 13:26

I needed mine most when I had hyperemesis in the first and second trimester. I was still struggling into work as much as I could and was doing my journey in three stop bursts. Misjudging how long I could go without hopping off for a sip of water and some air involved puking into a copy of the Metro (insufficiently absorbent for the purpose).

The badge both got me a seat and meant that officials were v sympathetic rather than assuming I was hungover.

I'm 7.5 months now and people still clock the badge before the bump. If someone who looks able bodied doesn't get up from the priority seat I assume they have a hidden disability. The badge isn't a demand for a seat, it's the provision of information, and what people do with that information is up to them.

Annietheacrobat · 27/09/2014 13:28

Didn't wear in first pregnancy as they were a new thing and I thought they were a bit twee. Wore in second pregnancy.

As a non pregnant commuter would definitely recommend you wear one. As PPs have said it is really difficult to tell sometimes if a woman is pregnant or not.

Annietheacrobat · 27/09/2014 13:30

Was always happy to ask for a seat too and 99% of time the occupant jumped up graciously

rattlesnakes · 27/09/2014 13:33

I think really the onus should be on the person who needs the seat to ask for it. You can't expect people to make a judgement about how infirm you appear to be. When I was commuting into London and very pregnant I often had to ask, because people will avoid noticing you if they can.

gasbird · 27/09/2014 13:34

I wore mine sort of for the converse reason. I had some dirty looks for not standing up for others before finding out about the badge

Sapat · 27/09/2014 14:22

I wore it with my first but did not bother with the other two. I rarely got a seat with or without a badge. Women (especially middle aged) are the worst for giving up seats, they always think men should be the ones getting up. The most polite people are young men in my experience.

Original poster
Cherryblossom200 · 27/09/2014 14:30

I'm finding young people very rarely offer their seats, it's always the older generation who do which I think is a bit sad tbh. Last week a man well into his 50's offered me his seat which I declined because I felt bad for him. I'm also finding a lot of women who look like they have kids offer their seats because I guess they can empathise with travelling on the tube with a bump x

OP posts:
madamweasel · 27/09/2014 15:15

I clipped mine to my handbag because I felt strangely self conscious with it on my clothes. Then, if I need a seat I hold my bag so it's visible and then politely and quietly ask the youngest and most able bodied looking person for a seat.

Lolly86 · 27/09/2014 15:42

i wore mine from about 15 weeks right through, it sometimes got me a seat... sometimes...

harrowgreen · 27/09/2014 16:17

They're a bit princessy.

Just ask. Very few people will actually refuse.

BalloonSlayer · 27/09/2014 16:24

They sound like a good idea.

I remember when pregnant with DC1, I felt absolutely fine and my daily journey on the tube was only 2 stops - one day a nice chap offered me his seat. I felt I ought to take it as he had made the effort to be so nice, I thought he would be crestfallen if I didn't, but actually it wasn't necessary.

A badge like this actually states "I am pregnant and yes, I would like a seat." Someone like me "only two stops and I'm fine thanks" would just not wear one and people would know they didn't need to offer.

Hoopalong · 27/09/2014 16:38

I feel for people who have no visible reason to remain seated once they are lucky enough to get a seat Sad

minipie · 27/09/2014 16:42

I think they are great - I too have spent many a journey thinking "is she or isn't she" and feeling guilty in case I have failed to offer my seat to a pregnant woman. I've also done the embarrassing thing of offering to a woman who was not pregnant.

A baby on board badge makes it obvious and saves all that awkwardness/guilt. So in some ways the badge benefits others as much as the pregnant woman.

I'm 13 weeks pg but already showing a bit Blush (dc2, petite frame) and I've been offered a seat twice but also had quite a few journeys where I've seen people (always women) staring at my tummy clearly wondering if they should offer or not. Time to dig the badge out I think.

To those saying "just ask for a seat " - Two problems with that:

  1. you might ask someone with a hidden disability/need for a seat who might then feel awkward about refusing, and

  2. often in rush hour you are packed in nowhere near the priority seats. A badge means that others around you often help you get nearer the seats so that you can then be seen by the people in the seats.

Chachah · 27/09/2014 18:10

Not in London that often and wasn't aware of the badge thing, but every single time I happened to be on the tube when pregnant, someone offered their seat to me. Usually young-ish men.

I think it's a good idea though.

fatpony · 27/09/2014 18:37

I've found mine to be really good. Only put it on at 7 months because didn't feel like I needed to sit before then/felt awkward making people stand for me.

On several occasions I've had nice women or men saying to someone sitting down 'can you give this pregnant lady your seat' I.e intervening on my behalf as I am too shy to ask...

My friend did tell me one story that she asked a man in the special seat for his seat and he said to her no, because he couldn't tell if she was pregnant or just fat!!!!