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Pregnancy

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Original poster

A 4th child - what do you think? Everyone has been so negative.

68 replies

earthtomummy · 26/09/2006 13:58

Ds is 5.5, DD is 3.5 and DD2 is 1.5. Thinking about trying for our 4th (and final) this Autumn, so hopefully baby would arrive when Ds is 6.5, DD 4.5 and DD2 is 2.5. I've always felt like the broodiness won't ever go, but I really want another but no more after that! Are there any otner MNetters with 4 with similar age gaps. My only concern is making sure we're not being unfair to our current 3. I don't think we are, I think they get a lot from their siblings. DH is keen and v. hands on and has new job just 5 mins away from home (hurrah!). But I know my mum will clearly express her disapproval and I find that hard to handle, esp. in the face of horrible morning sickness. So, I guess I'm looking for someone to be postivie about this, because only my DH and I seem to be. All my friends just look at me like I'm deranged!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MuddyMum · 29/09/2006 22:05

if you have the love and care to offer and you want another - whats stopping you. I'm the 4th of 5 children and it was great.
I admire the Mums who do have more than my one.......

SpaceCadet · 29/09/2006 22:09

if you and your dh are positive about having a 4th baby, then go for it, i have 4 children and was met with gasps of shock on announcing my 4 th baby was on the way, but its no ones business but yours.

shhhh · 29/09/2006 22:32

I think its a wonderful thing.
We only have dd atm BUT I;m expetcing ds2b in jan. Because baby is expected to be a boy we are now met with comments such as "oh a complete family.." or "one of each". To which dh & I reply, actually we would love a family of 5 kids..! .

We would love a big family and hopefully we will be in a position to be able to support our plans.We don't know what our future holds and we may not be able to be blessed with any more and who knows we may decide to stop at 2 but 5 is our aim.

Poeple are shocked when we tell them our aims BUT I don't care.

Good luck in trying for your 4th. You do what makes you and your family happy.. Go 4th and multiply ..sorry...!!!

PinkyRed · 29/09/2006 23:52

My SIL is pg with her fifth. Her dp has ME, they've been declared bankrupt in the past, her youngest ds has SN, her first husband nearly died a couple of years ago. Her latest pg was a complete accident - result of a stomach upset. Some people seem really p*ssed off that she's planning to have the baby - they've been really negative.

But all of her children are fabulous. All different, all brilliant human beings. Why shouldn't we all be pleased that we're about to have another one of them in the family?

algr · 19/01/2007 20:53

I,m the eldest of eight and absolutely love being part of a large family.Feel a little sorry that my two will only have each other.

magnolia1 · 19/01/2007 21:02

Haven't read the whole thread but I have 5 and although it's chaos I wouldn't have it any other way
The kids do fight but they also have lots of fun. The older ones are great with the younger ones although 4 girls in the house is sure to be a problem when they are teenagers

Miaou · 19/01/2007 21:16

Just as an update - this thread has been bumped from September - earthtomummy and I are both now expecting our fourth in July

evamum · 19/01/2007 21:45

Havent read all thread but I am no.4 of 5 and loved being part of a big family. I am already having 'fights' with DH as he only wants 3 kids and I want 4...we only have one at the mo'!

It was lovely having all my sisters and when you have had a fight with one there was always another to talk to!

helenhismadwife · 20/01/2007 20:40

its a personal thing between you and your dh.

I had 4 under 5 and got loads of negative comments, but my children were happy healthy loved and well cared for.

You can imagine the comments when I had my last two dd's all my children are very much wanted and loved and my xp(dad of 4 eldest), dh and I all work hard to support them all financially and emotionally

Original poster

earthtomummy · 22/01/2007 19:19

Just to let you all know no. 4 is en route - well 16.5 weeks en route! Thanks for all the comments and advice. V. excited and even mum has got used tot he idea now, after a super-frosty reception!

OP posts:

EnormousChangesAtTheLastMinute · 22/01/2007 19:22

congratulations! i think four would be just lovely...or in your case will be just lovely!

lovinit · 19/07/2009 19:47

I have been reading this thread with so much interest . I have 3 who are 5/10mths, 4 and 2.5 and I have been trying so hard to fight back thoughts or temptations for a 4th but now I am sooooo broody and i cannot put the thought at bay anymore. I so do want to upset the perfect balance I have with 2 older girls and a younger boy and the gaps are so close that am worried 4th will be laggard child who is babied all its life and will have to have separate activities from the older 3 . Also, a boy with possibly 3 sisters ??!!! I am one of 4 and now I WISH i had gone for it without hesitation earlier ... now problem is the gap and whether or not I should get on with life and enjoy the new tings we can do now together as a famly without worrying abt nappies and naps and bottles ...

ANYONE discourage having a 4th now ????

Loopymumsy · 19/07/2009 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Treadmillmom · 04/01/2010 14:50

The New Year always triggers change of resolve doesn't it.
I have 3 children DS1 6, DS2 4, DD 16 mths.
I was getting excited at the prospect of DS2 starting school full time in September, putting DD in nursery and working again.
(Clean) Power clothes, stilleto's, my own money. I'm relishing the 8 hours of sleep I've been enjoying for the last month, life is getting easier and I'm loving it.
But then, DD started walking on the 20th Dec and now my life is void of a baby, shit, the broodiness has kicked in. I can think of so many reasons why not to have a 4th and only 1 reason to - because I want to.
DH is open on this, he doesn't mind either way.
I have no family support at all, closet relatives are 30 miles away and they make fuck all effort anyway, I constantly moan about being on my own with kids 12 hours a day (don't worry, I have lots of girlfriends) as DH commutes.
But my hormones don't ever seem to shut up.
Oh and I'll be 39 this year!

Treadmillmom · 04/01/2010 18:12

PS At the last NCT Nearly New Sale I sold baby clothes, moses basket, baby chairs, baby bath etc as confirmation that I would not have another baby!

lockets · 04/01/2010 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Speckledeggy · 04/01/2010 18:34

An educational psychologist once told me to have two or four children. With three children, the middle one was often a problem child (sorry everyone with three!).

Anyway, totally agree with everyone who says you should do what you want. I have learnt not to listen to people anymore but choose to do what 'feels' right to me. Life is much better and smoother now.

The plus is you have DH on side so go for it...

acjnz · 21/09/2013 23:12

really glad to find this thread as have been thinking about this and keep talking myself out on practialities like car and holiday but the thought of the dynamics of 4 rather than 3 keeps coming back. Fourboys get what you mean we had so many comments after no2 as we had ds1 and dd2 that we must be pleased to have 1 of each and that would be it. When do Dh and me wanted another child and boy or girl didn't matter wonder why people get so hung up on it as people now say do you want a girl if you have another as we have ds1, dd2, ds3!

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