New born sleeping arrangements

[dmuk]

Seeking some advice. We have been discussing this for a while but cannot yet come up with a solution!

We live in a two bedroom flat with an open plan sitting room/kitchen. Our main bedroom does not have too much room for any more furniture. The second bedroom will be our nursery.

We are contemplating the two options below. Would appreciate some ideas from others.

For the first 3-4 months swinging crib for next to our bed.
Snugglehead for sitting room and/or second bedroom.
Rocking chair for sitting room/or second bedroom.

From day 1 use cot bed in second room. The drawback being baby would not be sleeping with us in our main bedroom. Would likely mean mum spends time in second bedroom to sleep/feed.
Snugglehead for sitting room and/or second bedroom.
Rocking chair for sitting room/or second bedroom.

I can understand the benefits of having the child sharing the main bedroom however I think we may struggle with space. This may mean mum and baby sleeping in the second bedroom or at least baby in the second bedroom alone.

A cot lacks some mobility however suspect we can carry baby between cot/crib and snugglehead?

Also, assuming we can use a cot bed from day one by using some dividers?

The sids guidelines recommend that you share a room with your baby for the first 6 months - your breathing prompts them to remember to keep breathing. That said, lots if people don't do that for the full 6 months.

The amount of feeding that goes on at first though might mean that logistically baby / mum end up sleeping in the nursery and dad in the bedroom if you try to do it from day one.

Do you not have bedside tables you could move out for a bit / push the bed against the wall?

You can use the cot bed from day one or, if Slavs us an issue but you want something smaller, put the Moses basket in the cot.

we had them in a crib in our room and then managed to fit the cot in along the bottom of the bed after they grew out of the crib. They moved to their own room around 8 months

I dont know what a snugglehead is and never had a rocking chair

I would definitely recommend baby stays in your room & tbh it's easier for night feeds too.

We moved our 2 sets of chest of drawers out of our room and into what would be the babies room. (Or dumping ground for all baby stuff until 8 months when he went into his own room.) cot in our room, with basket in it for nighttime sleeping, till he grew out of it,and was then across the cot rather than down it, feeding chair in the living room. All nighttime feeding was done in the bedroom sitting on the bed with a nightlight, and a lamp on the floor to change the baby if required. You don't need a designated room as it technically just sits like a museum for months on end.

I agree with previous poster about moving some of your bedroom into the baby's room and making room for the baby in your room.
Then when the baby is ready to go into their room move your stuff back out we had to do this in our house when ds was born.
It worked well as we moved a lot of dp clothes to the baby's room and it meant when he was getting up for work if the baby was still sleeping (which was very rare) he wasn't disturbing us getting his clothes etc.

"Do you not have bedside tables you could move out for a bit / push the bed against the wall?"

@PotteringAlong we don't have any bed side tables etc. We have space on one side but it's only about 1m; and in front of the doorway.

Only alternative is at the foot of the bed. Unsure if this works - not ideal for easy feeding but would reduce the sids risk?

we had to put the crib and cot along the end of the bed as it was the only space we had for them. I got back into bed to feed them and then put back in the cot

I would buy:

Mothercare Hyde crib for bedroom - cheap and narrow. Lasts 6 months

Cot bed for bedroom - from 6 months- 5/6 years

Let baby sleep in pram/ on sheepskin rug in living room. Or a Phil and teds travel nest would work if you also plan on staying away at some point in first 9 months

No need to sped on snuggle thing or rocker

So your room has bed against the wall on one side and access to the door the other. No bedside furniture?

Then I'd go for crib/cot at the foot of the bed.

Crib into the master bedroom for first six months
Cot in the second bedroom for six months plus
You dont need somewhere to sit and nurse at night time - I did all night feeds sat in bed and changed baby on the bed during the night (kept a little basket of essentials under the bed)

Id also recommend a Tiny Love Three In One Napper for the lounge - its a rockng vibrating seat with a musical mobile and it lays flat with sides up for daytime sleeping. No need for separate swing or bouncer.

DD2 is 2 weeks. We have an arms reach mini co-sleeper in our bedroom and a travel cot with lovely sheepskin rug in it for daytime naps in living room. When DD1 moves out of her cot we'll move DD2 in there to share the same room (in 6 months or so).

We're going to move stuff out into the other rooms to make space for a cot in the main bedroom next to my bed. Just going to buy a cheap small one and take a side off, then cable tie it to our bed so it's kinda like a bed nest type thing. Inside that I'm going to try and use a Sleepyhead, which I can then move downstairs to the moses basket (or not if no need) during the day. I think the Sleepyhead will just do on its own - lying on the sofa probably. I've borrowed a moses basket, so it's not a major expense to have wasted if I don't use it.

This is the plan for the first three months - so it'll be me and the baby in our bedroom, my boyfriend will probably sleep in the spare room when he goes back to work (we regularly don't sleep in the same bed/room, this isn't too much of a change!). Around three months we'll have a nursery ready and see how we're doing with the sleeping arrangements - maybe it goes in its own room at that point, maybe not.

Can someone put up a link to a Sleepyhead. When I tried searching it I didn't find any baby products.

is it this - never heard of them before. Although OP called it a Snugglehead so maybe meant this?

Sleepyhead

I don't think I could have coped with baby in another room for the first few months - both for tiredness reasons and also, you just kinda want to check on them all the time! Or is that just me…

We slept baby in our bed for the first few months and then used a moses basket next to the bed when she started sleeping really well around 6 weeks. I wouldn't have bought the moses basket tbh but someone gave me one. Then when she got too big for that we moved her to a cot without a side on pushed against the bed (so feeds were still easy but we all had a bit more space), and then to the cot proper in another room about 8 months I think it was. So it didn't really take up much space at all, we do have big double rooms though.

I think I would have missed my boyfriend too much to sleep in a separate room or bed. Those first few months were really lovely family time at night and though we were woken up a lot, because we didn't have to get out of bed much we were really quite chirpy on it. I did the feeds and mostly boyfriend did the nappy changes. We had a 3am "changeover" time so before then he would try and settle her and after that point I would. Not having the responsibility to respond first made quite a big difference actually, though I did obviously need to feed quite often anyway. I learned to breastfeed lying down (and doze through breastfeeding) quite early which is a massive bonus if you can do it, some people find it a bit tricky. So I never had a nursing chair and never fed the baby out of the bed. Until I got the hang of the lying down thing I would just use some cushions to sit up in bed.

We also live in a 2 bed flat, similar set up. Expecting no 2 soon and hoping it all works so well again!! this is reliant on toddler sleeping in the other room!!

a crib will fit into a metre wide gap, they are quite narrow.

As someone has said the advice to help prevent SIDS is for baby to sleep in your room for the first 6 months. also to begin with you could be feeding every couple of hours. I wouldn't have wanted to be getting out of bed each time!

we have a crib next to our bed and a cot bed in nursery which he will move into. you don't need a chair. I feed on the sofa if downstairs or in bed. mine sleeps in his bouncy chair or pram when downstairs.

Thanks for all the responses! Some good ideas to think about.

When I said "Snugglehead" I meant "Sleepyhead". It's a portable baby bed that we thought we could use on the sofa or on the floor during the day. An alternative to a sheepskin or similar.

They're not cheap but they are suitable 0-8 months and cover can be washed:
www.johnlewis.com/sleepyhead-deluxe-bed-guard-white/p231482924

The crib in the same room makes sense. Just need to determine what we do after the 3-4 months when the baby outgrows the crib.

We are talking about adult sleeping arrangements as well. Potentially sleeping in separate rooms as may help me get a full night's sleep as will be working full time. (As selfish as that sounds!)

How many partners stayed in the same room; and how many went separate?

We may measure up again and see if we can use the Ikea Gulliver Cot as one option. It's a similar width to the cribs and can be adjusted and attached to the bed.

This baby business is like entering a new world!

we stayed in the same room as there wasnt anywhere for an adult to sleep in the other rooms. DH tended not to wake up much during night feeds anyway.

My partner is like a small child when sleep deprived. I can't bear that for months on end! Hence separate rooms for us - we sometimes do it now if he's going through an insomniac patch. We always start off in our room/bed, reading or chatting or 'whatever', then one of us, usually him, will go in next door when we turn the lights out. In the morning one of us will go in to the other for a cuddle or whatever.

Makes for a much more harmonious household, and hasn't affected our sex lives or relationship in any way - if anything it's improved it. I used to feel a bit sad if I woke uo in the night and he was gone, but once we organised it properly, it was better.

You are the dad/same sex partner right? Can I just say, don't always assume your sleep is more important than hers. Looking after a baby can be exhausting, just as much as working. So whilst sleeping separately so you can get better sleep some nights is a perfectly good idea, don't let that be the assumption every night. Even if she is bfing, you can help her get more sleep in other ways.

I'd also say that a Sleepyhead won't last to 8 months if you have an early crawler, so bear that in mind. Ours wouldn't be confined much past about 6 months either (or from birth with DC3), so they might stop sleeping in it. Not saying you won't love it, but the biggest lesson with a baby is flexibility!

Oh, and I figure that once the baby is here and I'm a write off for tiredness for while ever, it will be better if at least one of us is operating normally in order to actually be interested in cooking or food shopping etc.

When I go back to work we'll reconsider the arrangements.

That is fair enough Goats. But don't underestimate how hard and unsurvivable a day with a baby can seem in that situation. Some cope with the exhaustion better than others.