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Pregnancy

Crap, told the wrong gender!!

98 replies

allisgood1 · 11/08/2014 13:42

We were told we were having a girl and I went for a scan this morning (36 weeks growth) and it's a BOY!!!

We have 2 girls, so this is a huge shock! We have nothing boy sorted!! What do I do (other than beg friends for clothes!?). Emotionally it's fine, I am so happy it's a happy healthy baby so gender is fine. But we know about girls! How are boys!?

OP posts:

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WhyOWhyWouldYou · 13/08/2014 09:26

coldtea do people seriously complain because you couldnt see gender?!?! Its not like you can force baby to cooperate and get in the perfect position.

With ds we didnt know whether to say at the start we wanted to know gender or the end because obviously the priority is the medical checks. During scan baby would not cooperate, every bit she tried to look at baby moved into the most awkward position to see. I had to keep getting up and walking round. Then at the end we said we had wondered about gender but obviously didnt look like baby was going to cooperate, she said shed have a little try - id have been happy whether she could see or not. As it was he moved into a perfect position to see - he obviously wanted us to know he was a boy. But i cannot imagine complaining if she couldnt tell.

ColdTeaAgain · 13/08/2014 20:23

Please always say at the start of the scan, normally the sonographer will ask if you want to know but if they don't it's best to ask before they start if they can have a look for you as it gives them a chance to keep an eye out throughout the scan.

Yes I'm afraid people do complain if the babies gender couldn't be seen. Not often but does happen.

Don't worry MummytoMog, if you've been told girl at two separate scans then that's pretty good odds I would of thought!

The heart rate thing is a myth though

WhyOWhyWouldYou · 13/08/2014 21:53

thanks coldtea ill make sure to ask at the start with this one. I really cant understand people complaining because the sonographer couldnt see - what would they do if they were in an area that has a strict no telling policy?

allisgood1 · 13/08/2014 22:41

I can't understand people who try and sue scan companies (and NHS?!?) for getting it wrong.

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ch1134 · 14/08/2014 07:01

I can't understand people who think girls have to dress in pink and boys have to have vehicles on their sleepsuits! Gender stereotyping at such an early age really bothers me. Men and women are still not valued equally in our society and I wonder when that all begins? Babies are babies, sex really doesn't come into it (for at least the 1st 10 years).
I didn't find out the sex but was given lots of hand-me-downs. Anything pink went straight to charity!
As it happens I have a beautiful baby boy. I can't tell you how much it bothers me when my friends who have girls say things like 'I wouldn't know what to do with a boy'! How about 'love him, cherish him, keep him safe, enjoy him, nurture him to become whatever and whoever he wants to be, teach him to love and respect people regardless of sex... just as you would do with a girl.'
Enjoy your baby.

MummytoMog · 14/08/2014 07:50

Thanks ColdTea! We were given a lot of our little baby clothes, so they are pretty gendered I'm afraid! I have a pink snowsuit for example :) we had boy stuff from DS but our nephew was born a year after DS so has has all his stuff (and not given any back). Thankfully I have lots of nice unisex clothes in 2-4 months and on. I discovered H&M have lovely gender neutral baby clothes and indulged.

Funny thing was, although we avoided pink for DD quite purposefully, at three she suddenly announced she would wear nothing else. She's nearly five now and I've only just started being able to put her in her pretty non-pink clothes.

mrsnec · 14/08/2014 08:07

That's good to know ColdTea, hope that's the same for me too. I want to add that making a complaint never crossed my mind. I was more concerned that I had to have a private scan because they couldn't get measurements at my anomaly scan but I accepted it as one of those things dh said it could have been faulty equipment and to get over it!

A lot of my friends tried to do the no pink things with girls and none of them ever managed to stick to it. I've kept most of the pink things I've been given but offloaded the stuff with awful slogans on.likewise the boys things with vehicles on. Still have lots of girlie things though and neutral stuff which is plain bright colours or cream with beige teddy bears on or such like.

In terms of the nursery I quite like the rainforest range though and I think that's quite neutral.

It was dh that wanted to know I wasn't worried either way but I do think once you're told you start to connect with the baby like that. My friend who had the sonographer get it wrong took 2 weeks to name her baby after that and in the end got someone else to do it for her.

ColdTea, do you mind if I ask if the movement pattern and sickness thing is a myth too?

ColdTeaAgain · 14/08/2014 20:12

mrsnec movement patterns also a myth!

However, there has been some research over the years that suggests morning sickness is more common or slightly worse with girls than with boys. But very important to note that this by no means entails that no morning sickness will mean a boy and bad morning sickness means a girl. Every pregnancy is different and we all have different reactions and tolerances to the flood of hormones that happens in pregnancy.

I don't mind either way whether people want to find out what they are having, some people like a suprise, some people find it helps them prepare mentally and feel less anxious during pregnancy that way. Bith ideas are fine. It's when people place far too much importance on it over everything else that bugs me!

allisgood1 · 14/08/2014 20:36

What's the movement pattern myth? Haven't heard that one!

Have to say MS was much easier on me this time round. So much so that I freaked out and had an early scan twice because "I felt too good". All makes sense now!! (I do accept it's a myth though, just funny how different this time was!)

Is it true boys are smaller coldtea? Consultant and midwife both told me this as this baby is on 50th centile according to scan whereas both girls were on 99th. This slightly freaks me out.

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micah · 14/08/2014 20:39

Boys are great, girls are great. No need to do anything different. Behaviour is personality driven, not genital driven :)

The willy and directional pee is probably the only thing to think about, although I have seen girls fountain pee everywhere too!

ColdTeaAgain · 14/08/2014 20:51

Movement pattern myth - boys more active than girls. Girls more active at night....or any other combination of the above!

allisgood no, boys are not smaller than girls as a rule. Am that both midwife and consultant have told you this! Think they all need to update their info!

Boys do tend to be slightly bigger than girls at full term on average though.

allisgood1 · 14/08/2014 21:41

So why is this baby smaller!?! When I asked at hospital appt they said "because it's a boy!". Oh god. Should I worry?

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micah · 14/08/2014 21:59

Er, he's smaller because he's smaller. Just like he might end up 5'10, or 6'4, it's just the hand genetics has dealt him :)

Likely they just said "because he's a boy", because it's a reassuring answer for you, and something to say. Many people aren't happy with "oh he just is", and want a reason...

ColdTeaAgain · 14/08/2014 22:06

No don't worry at all allisgood, am baffled why they said 'because it's boy' but nevermind! Which measurement exactly are you referring to?

AnotherStitchInTime · 14/08/2014 22:12

I have two girls and a boy. Ds is bigger than his sisters. They were 50th centile, he is 99th plus. Look on EBay for bundles, I got loads for ds. Like you I had pink stuff in abundance. Hopefully if he is small he will fit the newborn for longer.

They do like to wee on you. Best tactic I have found is to undo nappy and leave covering for a few minutes. I find ds always wees when I undo the tabs, releasing the tabs must release pressure on the bladder or something.

allisgood1 · 14/08/2014 22:17

Coldtea, at the growth scan he is measuring 50th or thereabouts on every single measurement. So not used to it. I even asked if she was sure and she said she measured twice. Saying that I know growth scans can be completely out as well. It's a niggle that I don't like or feel comfortable with.

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ColdTeaAgain · 14/08/2014 22:29

Ok, take it you are probably talking about the abdominal circumference? If he has been measuring on the 50th all the way along then that's great, shows a consistent, steady growth. Don't worry that other two were bigger, what matters is that his measurements are in normal range and growing steadily

allisgood1 · 14/08/2014 23:01

The head circumference and the BPD (whatever that is!) as well. All the graphs are on the middle line. Perfect I know. They didn't chart baby on 20 week scan for size so hard to say if it's consistent. No one was worried except me.

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ColdTeaAgain · 15/08/2014 08:26

BPD = biparietal diameter, roughly speaking the distance across the head from ear to ear. Odds are he will be a little bit smaller than your other two but definitely nothing to worry about.

s88 · 15/08/2014 08:28

I had a girl first then a boy . he's now 6 months and I was thinking a boy?! what do I do ?!

he is amazing , so loving and cheery . wouldn't be without him !

mrsnec · 15/08/2014 11:02

Thanks for the info ColdTea.

Movement pattern would indicate girl for me if that were true. I hadn't heard that theory either it came from the sonographer at my private scan! The sickness thing kind of makes sense but I had bad sickness in all 3 of my pregnancies and can't believe they all would have been the same gender.

I didn't pay any attention to size or measurements yet. Seems irrelevant to me knowing dh and I both had the same birth weight of 7.1lb and he's 6ft2 to my 5ft3. I've not seen any charts though and nobody mentioned centile they just tell me she's measuring on target.

Good luck op.not long now!

TheApprentice · 15/08/2014 11:09

Hi. congratulations! don't worry about him being smaller. My friend had boy/girl twins. The boy was much smaller and lighter at birth. Now they are ten he is both taller, heavier and broader than his sister. In fact he became heavier than her after only a few weeks old!

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ArcheryAnnie · 15/08/2014 11:23

It's a baby! It doesn't matter what you dress him in, as he's not going to a) care or b) remember anything of it. I dressed my baby boy in plenty of pink hand-me-downs (my friends before me had had girls) and nobody gave a damn. (I rejected anything frilly, but that's because I don't like frilly on anyone.)

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