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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

For those who don't know gender

36 replies

Rosebud29 · 01/08/2014 17:35

I just wondered how my fellow bumpers who don't know what they're having refer to their babies? We've been convinced from the get go that we're having a boy (couldn't tell you why) so we have always said "he" and "him", though it makes me feel guilty if it's a girl. I don't like saying "it". We also call him Alien.

I worry that we've gotten so used to referring to Alien as a boy that we'll be almost disappointed if we have a girl. I'd be absolutely over the moon if it was a girl, I really would. It just worries me that we have sort of bonded with Alien as a boy. Does that make sense? Those who have already had babies, was this a problem for you?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

DuckandCat · 01/08/2014 17:41

If it's causing you this much stress then why not just find out? You don't get a medal because you didn't find out the sex of your baby.

I think that when the baby

mampam · 01/08/2014 17:41

Hi I am pg with baby No4 and I have never found out the gender before the big day!! We call it baby or bump

DuckandCat · 01/08/2014 17:44

Sorry, posted too soon!

I think that when the baby is born whatever image you have in your head will disappear. You'll then get to know and fall in love with your actual baby, rather than the one you've been picturing.

Not sure if any of that makes sense

NinjaPanda34 · 01/08/2014 17:51

DH has nick-named our only-just-discovered-that-there's-2-in-there twin babies Mario and Luigi!! Oh dear!! We don't know the gender... :)

Elllimam · 01/08/2014 18:05

I was convinced my first was a boy (he was) and my second was a girl (he wasn't :) ) no disappointment though the minute I held them they were just them :)

Frances79FirstTime · 01/08/2014 18:08

We are not going to find out, but rather than referring to "it", we say "him" and call him a joke boys name (always have done, even when we were talking about "when we have kids" years ago).

If we end up having a girl I don't think it will make the slightest bit of difference - I haven't bonded with him as a boy, it's just an expression. Boy or girl, the baby will probably still have the nickname (poor thing!)

I agree that if you do think it will bother you that perhaps you should find out - although I think when the baby arrives you will be so overjoyed either way that Allen will soon be forgotten!

ohthegoats · 01/08/2014 18:35

It.
Your child.
The child.
The kid.

'Your child is being a menace tonight, ouch' etc.

JennyBlueWren · 01/08/2014 18:40

I've been switching between he, she and they (although that sounds like twins). My husband refers to the life leech especially when I'm not well.

Original poster

Rosebud29 · 01/08/2014 20:19

Life leech, haha! My SO has taken to calling him the parasite as well as Alien.

I'm sure you're right, I'll bond with our Alien just as much whether they're a boy or girl.

I'm due next Saturday so won't be long till we find out for sure :-). I'm definitely finding out with the next kid though.

OP posts:

Redling · 01/08/2014 21:31

We know we are having a boy but have called him Little Rat Bastard (lil RB for short) since the 12 week scan when we didn't know sex, as he acted up and I had to go for copious walks, drinks, wee's etc and he still didn't lie right for nuchal fold measurements. Also I was very sick in early pregnancy so I'd complain that the RB was killing me :) we say Lil RB a lot in front of people and a fair few are shocked!

Frizz1986 · 01/08/2014 21:34

We called ours bubs even though we were convinced it would be a boy (not sure why)
We had a girl!!

divingoffthebalcony · 01/08/2014 21:50

We used "he" and "him" as well. I think this did convince me that we were having a boy! Well, we had a girl, and I wasn't disappointed.

I think when you don't know the gender of the baby, everything is mysterious and abstract until they are born, after which everything becomes very real and different.

You won't be traumatised by having a surprise though, I promise!

dreamingofwineandcheese · 01/08/2014 22:11

Our first was nicknamed Dave by DH, no idea why but it stuck all the way throughout the pregnancy. We both thought 'Dave' was a boy and we were right!

This time around neither of us can make our minds up what we think the gender is so we just to refer to the bump as Baby! 34 weeks so not long until we find out! I love not knowing!

moggle · 01/08/2014 23:51

We gave ours a boy nickname (similar vein to Mario!) in the first trimester so keep calling it 'he'. After the 20 week scan I realised that I was thinking of it as a boy because of this, so am making an effort to call it 'she' now to try and even it up! Tend to just call it baby now, not very original, or a nickname based on our surname.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 02/08/2014 00:06

Babies in utero have a sex, not a gender. Just saying.

JennyBlueWren · 02/08/2014 09:54

Rosebud is your SO into horror/scifi films? My husband used a scene from a horror film of someone giving birth to a maggot to announce I was pregnant. He spent ages choosing between that and a scene from Aliens.

Dreaming did you name your boy Dave?

Mistyautumn · 02/08/2014 10:15

Although we know the (probable) sex our baby has been known as Squidge since the first scan as it was virtually river dancing on my bladder through the whole thing. Xx

Original poster

Rosebud29 · 02/08/2014 11:39

Thanks Diving, that makes me feel better. I really would love a girl, I'm a very girlie girl with a Cath Kidston obsession, I need someone to dress in flowery things, haha.

Jenny, I think he just got called Alien because, let's face it, they do look like aliens in the very early stages. And he got parasite because, in scientific terms, they are parasites technically (in a nice way of course!). Alien turned out to be the perfect nickname with the way he sticks limbs out of my belly. He gets one other nickname. Y'know Jon Snow from Game of Thrones and the way that every time he's on screen someone exclaims "Ned Stark's bastard son!"? Well my SO took to saying "[SO's names] bastard son!" at every opportunity.

OP posts:

GandTnow · 02/08/2014 13:41

We didn't find out and refered to the baby as Bumpy until our DD was born. It is a strange thing that even though you feel like you know your baby in your womb, it is totally different when they are born. I was amazed by how much she was just herself, different from what I had thought, but so much better!

I think you have to give it a gender, but it wont affect how you feel when they are born.

EverythingCounts · 02/08/2014 13:50

Interesting that the generic masculine is still so powerful (the approach of using 'he' if you don't know whether male/female or want to cover both). We didn't find out the sex and used 'she' precisely to balance this out. Called baby a neutral nickname (not posting actual one but think 'fluffy' or similar). Ended up with a DS. None of the previous language use had any effect at all.

Annbag · 02/08/2014 14:21

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at the poster's request.

JennyBlueWren · 02/08/2014 14:46

In our area you can't find out on the NHS but quite a lot of people choose to go for a private scan to find out. Not had any comments yet but that might be because it's quite early.

Hobby2014 · 02/08/2014 14:50

We say baby, then sometimes he, sometimes she, no idea why, but in some sentences she comes naturally and in other sentences he comes naturally. Very rarely we say it. And for everything else it's baby.

Vicky5910 · 02/08/2014 19:15

I say he and husband says she. Job done :)

MultipleMama · 02/08/2014 20:00

We find out for bonding reasons at our 20w scan. Anyway before we find out we give baby nicknames and refer to them as "they" and "them" etc.

Currently, this baby has been nicknamed by our 6yo ds who chose Soyuz (as in the Russian spacecraft) because he's Space mad and when he saw the scan photo he said baby looked like an astronaut in a capsule

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