Midwife - what is yours like?

[JFlo]

Was wondering what kind of support people are getting from their midwives. Not sure if I am expecting too much or if my midwife isn't very proactive. I've been seeing her regularly every four weeks - I'm 33 weeks now and every appointment is the same - check blood pressure, measure baby, listen to his heart, book the next appt. I had to ask for my MATB1 form after reading that I should have had one (think I was 25 weeks). i had to ask how/when I should look into NCT classes. Just feel like she's ticking the medical boxes and I suppose I expected more of a mentoring process as well. If it wasn't for my own reading and a weekly preggers yoga/birth prep class (run by a lovely doula) I'd be feeling a bit lost! She's a really nice lady though!

I've had 3 appointments so far (16 weeks), and including students have seen 6 mws. I'm hoping at the birth at least i will have met everyone, but it's rubbish for continuity of care.

They've all been lovely, except the one who did my scan (advanced mw not sonographer) who was a bit mean and snippy.

My appointments are the same. Check wee, blood pressure, have a feel of abdomen & heartbeat and that's that. I spend longer waiting to see her than being in the office.

Only seen mine twice and she seems nice enough but it's a bit like an appointment at the doctors than anything more nurturing. But I don't know if that's just how it is at the moment. At what point should I be looking to go along to antenatal classes or anything like that?

It's not just me then! I think you need to start looking at booking nct birth prep etc type classes at about 20wks because they fill up quickly (I missed the boat and opting for a private session with a doula instead).

Has anyones midwife discussed birth plans etc? Was hoping for a more maternal approach I suppose!

I presume this is NHS? Because I never saw the same midwife so you're doing well!

"I suppose I expected more of a mentoring process as well"
I never expected this. I expected it to focus on the medical aspect of the pregnancy. You can pay for private midwives or a doula if you want that kind of support or use Mumsnet!

Yeah NHS. It's a small village practice so only one midwife - we have to work around her holidays etc or get in touch with the hospital. I've met people who talk about calling their midwife etc and don't feel I would/could do that! Or do they just mean midwife in a general sense and they're calling the hospital/clinic really?

They probably mean in a general sense. My notes had various numbers in the front to reach the midwife team if I had questions or concerns. Some hospitals offer antenatal classes which teach a lot about the way they do things.

In my last pregnancy, I could have called my midwife. I had her mobile number. She was an absolute wonder (although the appointments were still pretty much like you describe). My first two, I didn't see the same midwife twice.

I see which ever midwife is doing the clinic that day, I've had three births and have never met any of the midwives that have delivered me. I don't think the community midwives actually deliver babies that's the hospital midwives I think.
I think the way you have described the care you've had as quite normal and it's what I've experienced with all my pregnancies.
When I was pregnant with my first I remember thinking I was being "looked after" very well but now I've come to realise that that's just the way it is. The way I look at it now is that midwives are so stretched and have so little time that if I'm lucky enough to have a normal straight forward pregnancy they should use their time helping women who really need it.
When I've been unfortunate and had problems they have been brilliant and after my first baby when I didn't know what the hell had hit me, couldn't stop crying, dd wouldn't latch on I called them in a right state they were there within half an hour.
It's wrong but they do have to prioritise they just don't have time to sit and chat and at the end of the day they are there to provide medical care. I agree it's crap but unfortunately a fact of being pregnant.

My experience is reasonably similar although my mw gave me the MATB1, prompted me to book whooping cough jag and did ask about antenatal classes. I'm 35 wks now and have sometimes felt like there's something else I should be doing.....everything has been going well, I'm in and out in 10 mins but feels a bit surreal that I'll be having a baby in a few weeks and have had very little time with anyone medical!

Mine is a form filler. I told her about my pelvic pain 15 weeks ago and now it is unbearable.
I asked her about my classes etc and she said fill in a form, and gave me no more information.
She doesn't answer my questions and actually seemed a little put out when I asked if I could hear the baby's heartbeat.
I hope to god she isn't anything to do with the birth because I find her a joke. Talking to people I know who are pregnant near where I live, we all have the same treatment. But only one midwife at that doctors, and its the best doctor for miles.
Thankfully the hospital gets good press so I am hoping that the birth will be ok.

Seen the same one here each time, but 31weeks now and only seen her 3 times so far, next apt at 35wks then 2 weekly from there. she is nice enough but wouldn't be the sort of midwife id want at delivery. I do have her mob number however and can call/txt if something's worrying me or I need to find out something.

she forgot gtt at last apt, not that im that worried as I didn't much want to do it anyway but she didn't even mention it.

I feel like mine has one objective - to fill in my green notes. Don't know why this green book takes so much time to fill in, but I feel the book is far more important than me.

I'm sure she is a nice person, but she only has 15 mins and looks stressed.
I have not felt able to ask her any questions even though I have loads and have really struggled throughout this pregnancy.
This is my first, I'm 30 weeks, and I feel like all my midwife wants to do is tick her boxes. It's a case of check BP and urine and spend ages flicking through green book putting in stickers and stuff. I really want to 'forget' my green book at the next visit, but am afraid she'll have a breakdown or flatly refuse to see me without it!
She did suggest I look into NCT and that I need whopping cough jab at 28-32 weeks, but they are about the only things that have been mentioned. I have no idea if we will ever discuss birthing plans.
Thank god for MN as this has given me the answers and support I was hoping I might get from my midwife.

After my first mw being a complete expletive, telling me from day one that the baby wasn't viable and dnt get too attached (bled quite a lot complications etc), I saw another midwife as mine wasn't great and I spoke to her and she took me under her wing she's the cheif midwife as mad as me and we always end up having a good old natter, she does forget things ie whopping cough jab etc but she will ring me in the week if its important she is very over cautious but I prefer that!

Mine is Irish, Middle aged and no nonsense. I really like her. I wouldn't say mentoring as such, but I see the same midwife each time (saw her for last pregnancy too) even though there's at least 5 or 6 working there. Mostly check ups are just that but she takes an interest and asks me how I am. She didn't make it to my birth last time as she was on holiday.

We went through birth plans at around 36 weeks last time so maybe you'll get some more input soon OP? I found appointments generally got more involved the closer to due date you got. The booking in one was just an hour of form filling.... But I agree ante natal classes or yoga or mumsnet or mates are what you need for the nurturing side of things...

I know it doesn't always seem like midwives care very much, but thorough antenatal care is one if the main reasons why we have such low maternal mortality these days... the checks can seem a bit pointless if everything is always normal but they are usually pretty stretched for time and it is the most important stuff to cover.

Of course I agree that the paperwork is ridiculous and some midwives could work on their communication skills. It only takes a minute to ask how someone is.

I have been seeing our local home birth team and they have been great. I generally see the same one but there are 3 of them and I've met them all. They (well, 2 of them) will be the ones at the delivery, if things go to plan. If I have to be transferred for any reason, one accompanies me to hospital.

Although it was pretty good last time to be fair - I usually saw the same midwife. There were 2 at my surgery and they did a set day each. One was a form filler who always ran on time, the other was much more chatty and offered loads if extra advice and info, but was usually running a good 45 mins late. So you could sort of pick which service you wanted. (I usually chose the latter.) They did work at the hospital where I had DD1, but I didn't see them while I was in there having her.

I think 36 weeks is fairly standard for discussing the birth plan ime.

I saw the same mw for almost every appointment but she was a community mw so I knew there was no chance of her delivering my baby. I found the appointments quite straight forward but then so was my pregnancy. At around 33 weeks I asked about a birthplan so she booked me in for a double appointment at 36iish weeks to go over it. I'm not sure that they're really allowed to promote things like Lazy Daisy and nct too heavily- some of their patients might not be able to afford them.

I love mine. I'm at UCH and they obviously have loads of midwives. Mine has made sure I see her every appt and our appts have been so much more than the basics.....my last appt was 40 minutes!. I feel really well supported. I was having a really tough time with work and despite saying I didn't have glucose in my urine, she booked me in for a glucose test (which came back fine). I'm sure she did it to get me a morning sat reading my book away from the office.

Unfortunately she probably won't be my midwife for the birth but given how big UCH is, I wasn't expecting such an amazing 'service'.

Mine does all of the things you describe, she also reminds me to do things (like MATB) which is helpful!
My consultant on the other hand passed me to his junior because I am doing well, and she is more 'I follow this list to the letter unless you ask me.'
To be fair she will of course answer specific questions and so forth very willingly!

Nicky mine said about NCT and Laisy Daisy to 'do a bit of homework' (i.e. because they have 'styles' they can't market them) and gave me all the numbers of all the ante natals.

Mine has been lovely so far (22 weeks) - I'll see the same midwife throughout my pregnancy. Friendly, helpful, approachable and easy to talk to. There is a certain amount for form filling and checking things off, but that's all part of the job really I suppose, so they don't miss anything. I've found I get more out of my appointments if I ask questions. I hadn't received some results back from the hospital and she chased them up and got them for me while I was there. I have a list of numbers I can call during office hours and out of hours in my maternity file, though so far I haven't had to use them.

Only had booking in... but ours was an absolute sweetheart. Seemed very genuine with her congratulations and engaged with our questions. She didn't fill out the computer forms as we were going through - just made notes and then did it after we left.
Having said that, we are at a big city hospital so don't expect to see her again... really hoping they are all that nice.

I never saw the same midwife twice during my entire pregnancy, however they were all fine. Did similar to yours, i.e checked urine, bp, heartbeat and fundal height. If I had any other concerns/questions I brought it up at the end of the appointment. I had to ask about whooping cough injections but I think I was offered the mat1b.