Midwife - what is yours like?

[JFlo]

Was wondering what kind of support people are getting from their midwives. Not sure if I am expecting too much or if my midwife isn't very proactive. I've been seeing her regularly every four weeks - I'm 33 weeks now and every appointment is the same - check blood pressure, measure baby, listen to his heart, book the next appt. I had to ask for my MATB1 form after reading that I should have had one (think I was 25 weeks). i had to ask how/when I should look into NCT classes. Just feel like she's ticking the medical boxes and I suppose I expected more of a mentoring process as well. If it wasn't for my own reading and a weekly preggers yoga/birth prep class (run by a lovely doula) I'd be feeling a bit lost! She's a really nice lady though!

Oh and we never discussed birth plans, although to be honest I would have just told her I didn't intend to write one.

I've had 2 visits to see MW so far and have seen 2 different people. First time was for booking-in and took about 1.5 hours - she could talk the hind legs off a donkey, but did seem bothered about me. 2nd time was AWFUL. DH came with me as he wanted to hear the heart beat too. We went in, and it was immediately apparent that she just wanted to get it all over and done with asap. She literally snatched my file from me and started rifling through it presumably looking for my medical notes. I was absolutely livid! Probably not helped by pregnancy hormones, but I was so mad I just took it straight back from her and asked her what she was after... Not sure what will happen at 25 week session....

I've seen loads of different midwives (due this weekend), and most have been really lovely. They've listened when I've been anxious and although they do routine things in their quite rushed manner, they have been great. I've never felt a burden, even when I've requested an extra appointment or to be monitored for reassurance.

Some have been my personal favourites, only 1 grumpy one so far - I hope she's got this weekend off

3rd pregnancy...... see the midwives at the hospital and never seen the same one twice. All the appointments are pretty routine BP/babies heartbeat etc then they tick a load of boxes to say they have handed a leaflet on breastfeeding. MATB1 etc

Mine is very no nonsense and appointments are much like you describe. She's very friendly and positive, which I like, but I don't feel like I have a lot of time to talk things through and if I'm having a problem (at the moment my carpal tunnel is awful) she kind of brushes it off. But, I'm grateful to be seeing the same one throughout and I do find her attitude reassuring.

MsSleepy yes I suffer from anxiety and find an 'everything's OK' attitude helpful for keeping perspective!

I'm very fortunate reading this thread. I'm expecting DC2 after having DS 8 weeks early, and although the appointments focus very much on the medical side of things such as blood pressure, urine, bump size etc due to all the complications last time, I've had a lot of emotional support to as it's a very scary time.

As for the consultants - very different story :-(

Im 31 weeks and have had the same community midwife throughout. She is lovely, very thorough and open (always asks if I have any questions), very knowledgable and I always get a big hug when I leave. Sadly she won't be at the delivery but Ive been in recently for reduced movements and she called by my house the next day to check on me but I was in work. I am under the consultant but have been for a gynae issue for many years, she is more reserved (and DH is a little scared of her!) but I think she is fab too.

During my last pregnancy I lived in a different area and the midwives would always make home visits right from the start so I never had to shlep up to the doctor or hospital - it was just something they did there. I didn't realise until after how unusual it was! This time around I have to go to them, and while they're nice, it's so much better being in your own home...wish more places had the resources to do it...