Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Considering trying for a third baby - are we mad ??

43 replies

PinkButterfly · 12/09/2006 09:13

I have been a member here for a while but haven't really posted much. Mostly I read the odd thread when I am looking for info on a particular area.

My DH and I have two ds's aged 7 and 3. After two years of adamantly stating that my baby making days were over I have strangly been feeling very broody for a while.

Both my pregnancies were healthly but with ds2 I had very bad post natal depression. I struggled with the sleepless nights and decided I never wanted to do all that again and my dh was quite happy with that.

Now is he pretty shocked and my sudden change of heart and is concerned at the thought of starting all over again.

Whilst we are not well off by any means, my dh has a good stable job and we have a nice, decent sized home.

I don't feel comfortable speaking with any of my friends about this right now so wondering if anyone got any advice ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

agalch · 12/09/2006 09:35

Hi PinkButterfly
I have 2 boys and decided that after years of just those 2 to have another.
had dd1 when the boys were 13 and 9 and it was so easy and lovely to have no3.Only problem was it was so nice we had dd2 6 weeks ago lol.
I never had probs with any of the pg's and no PND so i have had a fairly easy time of it.
If you really want to have no3 i would say go for it but make sure you are well supported during and after your pg.
Good luck
xx

bresha · 12/09/2006 12:49

no
you aren?t mad at all, and you are not alone
i have 2 dds 4 and 1 and we are planning to try for no3 around xmass new year time,
i just cant bare the thought of never having anymore
I do wonder if we are doing the right thing having more, but it u both wont to and there is no real reason not to then go for it.
It will be hard going though the newborn stage again and finding time for everything, and as agalch said make sure you are well supported during and after your pg.
xxxx

Medulla · 12/09/2006 12:54

I would love another one but do worry as how we would cope. DD is 3 and DS is 1 we would probably want to try about this time next year. Like Bresha I just can't bear to think of not having another baby. Good luck with your decision x

redz · 12/09/2006 12:56

Hi Pinkbutterfly,
I say go for it.
I know im only pregnant with first but I want at least 4 children. My DP cant believe im still set on that after all the moaning I do now but I think a big family is beautiful. If you can manage and have the support the more the merrier!

SoupDragon · 12/09/2006 12:59

Yes. COmpletely and utterly mad.

That said, I wouldn't send BabyDragon back for all the world*... DS1 is 7, DS2,5 and DD 7 months. Bizarrely, the nice symmetry of DS1 & 2 doesn't seem right compared to the chaos that is the 3 of them. They're a bundle rather than a pair!

(* Well, most of the time I wouldn't send her back )

Original poster

PinkButterfly · 12/09/2006 13:15

Thank you all for your words of wisdom and good wishes. Still not sure dh will go for it - think he is just worried about my sanity and possibly the financial implications but we don't really lead a lavish lifestyle anyway so not sacrificing much! He sometimes works a 7 day week and I don't have the best support network for help with practical stuff so I can completely understand why he would be having reservations (I have my own). For now, I have taken a step and booked a provisional appointment for next Thursday to have my coil removed so could be ttc before we know it! Will keep you advised! Thanks again.

OP posts:

chocolatekimmy · 12/09/2006 13:15

Hi
Just had my third daughter 9 wks ago, also have a just 5 and just 2 year old.

Its fantastic, the latest is a real sweetie and a joy to have. Biggest difficulty is my 2 year old as she has been playing up more recently + she is more than ready to potty train so psycing(? spelling) myself up for that. I think the 3 year gap was good but at 36 now, didn't want to leave it too long in case we want more later.

I never thought I would have three but they are so great I can't imagine not having more, even wondering if we will go for number 4!

Downside is that I have had a nightmare time again with breastfeeding but have perservered and all is well now + I am tired most of the time but I do know its not for ever (only about 18 years) and it will improve. I have found that I am more organised, just have to focus and get on with it.

notasheep · 12/09/2006 13:17

Sounds like you want another....whats meant to be and all that.
I would definately have a 3rd but too old now

Thomcat · 12/09/2006 13:22

I only have 2 but have a question.

The difference going from 1 to 2 was, for me, quite big, bigger than going from none to 1. When you have a third is it the same again, is it suddenly loads and loads more work or do they sort of slip in relativley unnoticed (well, ish)as you're already so busy with 2 ???

ggglimpopo · 12/09/2006 13:23

Message withdrawn

morningpaper · 12/09/2006 13:29

I thought 1 to 2 was easy

I worry about a shock with a third

I also have a good friend who has three and really regrets it. She says "You only have two laps, someone is always left out" - she had a big gap too. Makes me worry.

emmatom · 12/09/2006 13:30

You really have to go with your heart on this one.

I have two and now they are 9 and 7 my life has taken on yet another turn. I love the fact we can now go out at the drop of a hat, have conversations, they can occupy themselves, holidays are so less stressful etc etc.

What i'm trying to say is the baby/toddler years, now, in hindsight seem such hard work and I would not wish to go back to them at all.

A couple of friends still have toddlers and when a group of us meet up, I watch them get stressed following their little ones around, unable to relax, carting all their paraphenalia around and just thank heavens all that is behind me.

I'm so obviously not broody whereas you sound like you are and I think if you fast forward some years (you don't say how old you are) and look back at what decision you made, would it be the right one for you.

Original poster

PinkButterfly · 12/09/2006 13:30

Hi Chocolatekimmy. Thanks for your response. My two boys would be at the very least least 8 and 4 by the time any sibling joined them so old enough not to be such a handful and I wouldnt be breastfeeding as I tried it with both and it just didn't work for me so no added pressure there.
Both my boys were quite a handful as babies and never seemed content as a lot of my friends tell me their babies are They were never good sleepers (both of them nearly 3 before they were sleeping through the night) and struggled with teething etc. I know all babies are hard work but my two just weren't really a pleasure as young babies (is that awful for me to say that ??) which is another reason why I had decided no more. I am very surprised to be wanting another one but maybe third time lucky I would be blessed with an Angel Baby!

OP posts:

tassis · 12/09/2006 13:32

thomcat - you say 1 to 2 was bigger than none to 1?? can you tell me more? (number 2 due any day...)

Original poster

PinkButterfly · 12/09/2006 13:36

Hi Emmatom

The life you decribe is how my ds and I were looking at things and I felt exactly as you do - when people asked if we would be having any more and would reply "no way - I want my own life back - holidays etc exactly as you say. I can't believe I am feeling broody now ....

I am 32 at the mo!

OP posts:

Olihan · 12/09/2006 13:37

The other consideration, PinkButterfly, is that your eldest will be at school and the younger nearly at school (depending on how long the ttc takes) so you would have the school day to devote to the new one. That will make the early days a little bit easier as you won't be spreading yourself between the 3 of them all the time. Just don't have it arriving at the start of the summer holidays .

Thomcat · 12/09/2006 13:40

I found i easy, even with her special needs as when she didn't want / need me I could get on with stuff. If I wanted to pop out I only had her to carry around. Now DD2 is here someone always needs / wants me, impossible to find time for me or chores etc and 1 have 2 trips to and from car whenver I want to go anywhere. Nothing major or so bad I regret having DD2, not at all, just found it a lot more tiring and hard work. So as I feel that way I thought no 3 might just sneak in virtually unnoitced????

trinityshiftingherleatheryarse · 12/09/2006 13:43

i hope your right when you say 2 to 3 is a doddle cause I'm petrified of no3 coming along in feb

Original poster

PinkButterfly · 12/09/2006 13:43

Yes Olihan - I had been thinking of that though hadn't thought about the school holiday thing (ta) had just been thinking summer time nice time to have a newborn - my other two are May and September.

OP posts:

bubblepop · 12/09/2006 14:43

pinkbutterfly. yes your mad. your crazy. your listening to your hormones and not your head! 2 children is lovely. its nice even numbers. you can go on holiday, get round the supermarket, even get a baby sitter. once you've got three, you might have to change the car, then your house maybe! people won't invite you round cos you've got too many kids! they won't come to see you because its caos at yours! you won't have a minute to yourself, there will always be one of them thats ill/playing you up! holidays will cost you a fortune, aswell as days out. have i put you off yet? but if you don't do it, the need to multiply will eat away at you until you reach the menapause and you will always be wondering, what if? so go for it girl. your only on this earth once.!!

Nemo1977 · 12/09/2006 14:52

another who doesnt think you are mad. I have a ds who is 3 next month, dd who is 9mths and am 22wks with no.3. I had horrendous depression when I had ds but was much better prepared when having dd that when I felt the feelings return I was able to tackle them better and cope. We have a average 3 bed house and dh has a ok job but hates it so is currently retraining as our financial situation is a bit dire. However I always wanted 4 or 5 children[not so close together believe me] but then I got broody for no.3 and it feels very right for us.

Original poster

PinkButterfly · 12/09/2006 15:21

oh dear - I just don't know how we will come to a final decision - so many pro's and con's. I have been feeling very emotional about it today (must be all your kind words!)and at one point announced aloud whilst alone in the living room that I wanted another baby! then got all teary. Maybe its just my hormones - maybe i'll wake up tomorrow feeling completely different ??? but to be honest.... actually think this IS going to happen (god willing).

OP posts:

kittywits · 12/09/2006 15:29

Pinkbutterfly, I've got no. 6 on the way. You're not mad, three isn't too muach to handle. If you want it, you do it!!

Original poster

PinkButterfly · 12/09/2006 15:32

oh my lord - 6!!!????
I cannot believe how many mumsnetters have so many nippers and/or so close in age - how ever do you all cope?
My dilemma feels so inadequate!!!

OP posts:

kittywits · 12/09/2006 15:36

You just do and so will you if you have three. it won't seem so bad once you have adjusted and got into the swing of things.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread