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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Considering trying for a third baby - are we mad ??

43 replies

PinkButterfly · 12/09/2006 09:13

I have been a member here for a while but haven't really posted much. Mostly I read the odd thread when I am looking for info on a particular area.

My DH and I have two ds's aged 7 and 3. After two years of adamantly stating that my baby making days were over I have strangly been feeling very broody for a while.

Both my pregnancies were healthly but with ds2 I had very bad post natal depression. I struggled with the sleepless nights and decided I never wanted to do all that again and my dh was quite happy with that.

Now is he pretty shocked and my sudden change of heart and is concerned at the thought of starting all over again.

Whilst we are not well off by any means, my dh has a good stable job and we have a nice, decent sized home.

I don't feel comfortable speaking with any of my friends about this right now so wondering if anyone got any advice ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Socci · 12/09/2006 15:43

Message withdrawn

HumphreysCorner · 12/09/2006 15:57

I have 2 DD's, the latest only 11 weeks old but can't bear the thought of never having another. So hoping to have number 3 before I get too old (am 37 in October). So I would say...............

GO FOR IT !

xxx

chocolatekimmy · 12/09/2006 15:58

No subsequent child can change your life like the first, it was the overwhelming sense of responsibilty for us, not about sleepless nights or not being able to go out as easily. It's hard to adjust to being a parent and all stages being so new.

Number 2 was therefore a doddle as it didn't really change our lives and same with number 3. Luckily number 1 was the hardest work, poor sleeper and colic so for us it has just got easier. I do wonder though if its because you make it easier, you know what you are doing, feel more confident etc.

Number 3 has had no choice but to slot into our existing routines (or lack of in some areas!) and I think this is the easy bit in way as they don't do anything in the first few months and need less attention.

There is the question of one being left out but I find the oldest is fairly independant and its a question of trying to balance the time with each of them at times when they most need it.

chocolatekimmy · 12/09/2006 16:00

Another thought, don't leave it too late and regret not having more, there comes a time when for whatever reason you won't be able to have another.

Better to regret the things you did do than the things you didn't. Obviously another child isn't something you take lightly but we're not here for long and they are such a miracle it seems (to me) a shame not to have more.

SoupDragon · 12/09/2006 16:33

I think none to one is a huge shock because you have no idea what to expect. 1=one to two is a huge shock because you think you know what to expect but you've never had to do it whilst juggling the needs of a sibling before. One one hand, you know they won't die if you take them out in PJs and a dirty nappy and feed them breakfast when you get somewhere but on the other hand, you sometimes have to get places. With two to three, you've done the sibling juggling stuff and know they won't die in the PJ/nappy scenario.

EG with DD, I was doing the school run on time when she was 4 days old. I didn't get out of the house for 3 weeks with DS1!!

bubblepop · 12/09/2006 16:42

when you hav'nt got any kids , you wonder what your life will be like with one. when you've got one, you can't imagine loving the second as much as your first. when you've got two, your used to a bit of juggling/ squabbling but don't know how you'll cope with three. when the fourth one arrives your going mental, and after that, well i don't know but what i do know is that THEY'RE WORTH IT AND NOTHING TOPS IT. [GRIN]

fruitful · 12/09/2006 19:01

I do all that logical, thinking stuff. I don't want to do pregnancy, caesarean, sleepless nights, trying to breastfeed, prolonging the "babysitter years", and all that. I don't.

But when we all sit down to dinner together, there aren't enough people at the table. When we go out as a family in the car together, there are only four of us and that is at least one missing. I borrowed someone else's 7-yr-old for a few days over the summer and it felt so right.

Going to see the consultant on Thursday to discuss scar rupture risks...

And I don't even want another baby. I want another child. If it could come out aged 2, that would be great!

kittywits · 12/09/2006 20:03

Fruitful PLEASE PLEASE take everything the consultant says about scar rupture with a very large pinch of salt. They like to scare the living daylights out of women and in my experience are not pro vbac. Talk to a midwife whom you trust.

Original poster

PinkButterfly · 12/09/2006 20:59

My ds1 was a csection as he was breach and 8lb 12oz and i'm only 5ft and a size 6 so they wouldn't even let me try to deliver him. With ds2 I wanted to try and deliver him myself but after going 2 weeks overdue and then 24 hrs of labour getting me only to 1cm dialated and a baby in distress I ended up with a section there too. I do remember my consultant telling me at an appointment that there was only 30% chance of rupture so their advice was for me to try and delivery vaginally but should I end up with a section on that pg then fall pg a third time I would automatically be sectioned as they wouldnt let me try to deliver vaginally after two sections. Don't know much about recovery after a third section but certainly I found the second one much easier that the first!

OP posts:

AngelaChill · 12/09/2006 21:04

1 to 2 was a big shock to the system, 2 to 3 was a walk in the park, although we are late for everything lol.
I say you never regret the things you've done only the things you haven't.
good luck whatever you decide.

sweetkitty · 12/09/2006 21:08

I have 2.2y DD1, 8mo DD2 but like fruitful I feel someone else is missing it's like I'm still waiting on them to join our family. I don't want to have the 2 DDs close in age then have another with a gap so we are going to ttc no 3 in May/June next year. It would be so so easy to stop at 2 but this yearning won't go away and very strangely DP feels it too.

kittywits · 12/09/2006 22:25

Pink butterfly, sorry but that's a load of b*cks. I've had 2 sections and have had 3 vbacs since. If you want to try for a vaginal birth again you have evrey right to do so. I hate the way they put it to you as if it were the law and you're gonna go to prison if you don't do what you're told.
Find a friendly midwife and read up info on the computer. There is a site that has been mentioned berfore on vbacs. I'll see if I can find it.
These ladies are supposed to be very informative and could tell you much more then me, good luck here

siang · 12/09/2006 22:32

depends how your others kids behave if they good a third should be no prob i got four and do ok

Toady · 13/09/2006 14:38

Fruitful please find out the facts here

buktus · 13/09/2006 14:42

i have just had number three, she has been a good baby and it is much easier the third time around i have had three sections and i was told the same i couldnt vbac but i did rupture with number 2 so that is why, i now feel very complete as a family with my two boys and little girl - go for it

Medulla · 13/09/2006 14:45

Pinkbutterfly your notes must read the same as mine - first baby section bacause she was breech, second baby failure to progress after 72 hours of labour (i developed scar tenderness) and so he was sectioned too! I kinda assumed if I got pg again I would have to have another section

fruitful · 13/09/2006 15:29

Sorry, didn't mean to turn this into a vbac thread. I've seen Debbie & Gina's site - just emailed them in fact (see my other thread ).

Thanks for the advice though!

Original poster

PinkButterfly · 17/09/2006 10:09

Sorry not been on for a few days but see a few new responses - thanks. Well, we have decided to go for it!!!! Coil being removed on Thursday. I fell immediately last time but trying not to get hopes too high in case it takes a while on this attempt. Already becoming a bit obsessed though and started charting on Fertility Friend today as I'm on CD1 - take it there is no way I could get pg in same month of coil removal ?

OP posts:

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