What advise would you give yourself looking back (first timer!)

[bellaboo88]

Hi ladies, newly graduated from the conception boards so still finding my feet.

If you could go back in time to the beginning of your first pregnancy, what advise would you give yourself?

I'd really appreciate any wisdom :-) x

[bellaboo88]

Thanks ladies!! Some fab suggestions there, I'm going to read them out to my dp & make a plan!

I'm a worrier but I do think I need a massive chill pill.

I've not been able to tell my mum yet as she's on holiday & I really really appreciate your words of wisdom! Deffo need a selfish holiday (5*adult only in 2013, unchild friendly hol Jan 2014) so deffo pre baby break.

A lot of wisdom boils down to going gentle with yourself I guess, don't set targets or beat yourself up about things out of your control. This is going to be the hardest part for me. I had planned to work as late as possible but I can't even transfer any holidays over to Feb when I'm due :-( xx

[Teabiscuits]

Don't get too hung up about labour and birth. Yes it's a big part of the whole experience but it's likely to be a day or two (maybe more if you are unlucky) out of your life. The little person that you have made will be around for the rest of your days!

[Mslad]

As a first timer this thread has been great! Thanks for all your advice and to bellaboo for asking the question

[sauvignonblacks]

Be kind to yourself, take some down time enjoy a child free break pull a sickie if you want too! no pregnancy is not an illness but you're growing a human! Enjoy the quiet

[Muskey]

Be kind to yourself. If you need a nap take one. Try not to listen to old wives tales about x y and z as they will drive you crazy. Buy a really comfortable pair of shoes and find someone sensible to talk to about what to buy for the baby. Half of the stuff you will buy you won't need. Enjoy each day as it comes.

[chocchips]

Wont apply to you but my advice to myself would be do not conceal a pregnancy, you may be scared but it does not go away! Oh and agree with whoever said dont get hung up on the birth, it doesn't marter how aslong they're out safe and sound.

[PenguinsHatchedAnEgg]

My advice would be that your baby will grow and change so much on their own that there is no need to worry about 'rods for your back'.

Enjoy mat leave pre baby and nap lots!

Be vague about your due date. This will help your sanity if you are 'late'.

[Dukketeater]

Tell people your due date is 2 weeks later than it is so they start the 'when are you gonna have that baby' comments 2 weeks later... I was sick of hearing it by the time my lo was 2 weeks late!

[theborrower]

If you're knackered, rest.
Don't listen to old wives tales, they're all rubbish.
Don't "eat for two", what this really means is eat healthily if you can, but if you fancy chocolate, have it she says, eating some maltesers as we speak
Take bump photos!
Don't work up until the last minute, as my mum said, your mat leave is the last time you'll ever be on your own, so enjoy the time putting your feet up and reading books/watching DVDs
Don't listen to people that say first babies are always late - not true!
Don't make a 'birth plan', but see it as a birth wish list, as someone else said. Birth is unpredictable so go with the flow.
When baby comes, don't feel pressured to have loads of visitors quickly - take time to rest, recuperate, and enjoy some private family time.

[Iwillorderthefood]

I can confirm a due date two weeks later than you've been told is a good idea, you would think I would know that one, but no, told people the real due date, and I am over.

[Isabelleforyourbicycle]

Yy to a lot of the comments already, not sure if someone has said this specifically but my suggestion is to, if you can, have and enjoy sex with the OH.

It's nice to keep the closeness and physicality between you whilst your mind becomes more and more baby focused.

Admittedly, not the most important thing but it worked for me.

[PenguinsHatchedAnEgg]

I wouldn't say it is exactly a birth wish list. In fact, I would say it is better if it isn't. But it needs to be realistic. By all means plan a water birth, but include any preferences for a section and instrumental delivery too. eg for me it was very important that they explained what was happening step by step. Others might prefer no running commentary.

[CustardFromATin]

Squizita - stress incontinence is definitely not inevitable, although most of us find it does take a bit of time to get back to normal pelvic floor strength. However - when I finally got my arse in gear and saw a women's health physio (who was AMAZING), she gave me some research that said that 1 in 3 women over 30 have some level of incontinence, most of which is due to childbearing and most of which is totally preventable. Many of these women will be wearing daily liners. But the better you are during pregnancy the better your chances afterwards, and you can avoid having to do as much work as I did.

Agree with all the other points about not focussing in the labour. It is hard work but so worth it in the end. And not all first labours are terrible - mine was fab!

[squizita]

Custard Phew. Yep I'm doing the squeezes daily!