How do I go about declining a health visitor?

[HomeIsWhereTheGinIs]

I'm 33 weeks pregnant with my first DC and was just wondering if anyone might be able to give me some advice about HVs. I'm having the baby in the private wing of a hospital that is outside of local authority and so far I haven't heard anything about a health visitor. I'll get a couple of home visits from a midwife after the birth and don't wish to have a health visitor. I have heard too many horror stories about their ignorance in very basic baby matters (the most recent being a friend of mine being told to google her baby's wind problem) and resent the idea that the government has taken such a nanny state role in parenting.

So my query is, does anyone know who assigns the HVs? Is it the local authority or the hospital? How do I opt out?

Thank you!

OP - I had my babies privately and out of the area of my local health authority. You will be assigned a health visitor - standard procedure - everyone is. They will contact you when the midwives tell them you are ready to be signed off from midwife care. But they will turn up, do the heel prick test, hand you a red book and then disappear never to be seen again unless you want to see them. I have two children (25 months and 7 months) and I have met two health visitors. For about 5 minutes. It's actually quicker to let them in for the appointment than it is organising for them not to come and get the red book from a different source!

Thank you nearthewindymill, I think you're right about the private care thing. It's surprising how many pps care that I might rack up a bit of a bill with my paed once the baby is born! Good point on rephrasing though, I can see that I didn't think this original post through thoroughly enough when working on the wording (apologies PO posters!).

Eurochick, me too. I have a private lactation consultant and midwife visiting me at home. I really resent the idea that I have to allow this unnecessary HV access to my home to avoid being "flagged" on a system when I so clearly have all the support I need. But I suppose I have no choice. I resent the hell out of it too.

OP, I had my first baby 6 wks ago. Midwife came the day after I came home from hospital and the HV the week after. She just rang me to arrange the time. I'm not sure what would have happened if I told her I didn't want the visit.

I've worked in Children's Services so it felt a bit odd to be on the receiving end of a home visit, but ultimately I'm a new mum and happy to ask for advice and recieve a bit of support. Yes, there is an element of checking up but some families need this. I think you should just accept that you will be treated the same as everyone else, endure a couple of short visits if that's what it will feel like, and get over it! It's not a huge deal, I had my second visit from her last week and it lasted about ten minutes.

You may have other medics involved who you feel are superior, but they are unlikely to visit you at home and as others have pointed out, HVs are also trained HCPs. And you may find a home visit might even be helpful - having a baby triggered anxiety in me that I never knew existed! It's a very intense time.

Good luck with having your baby. This sort of thing will pale into insignificance once they have arrived.

My husband is a consultant paediatrician and I am also a doctor we still used the health visitor. Actually speak to your paediatrician (presumably private) he will have more respect for HVs than you do.

OP unfortunately you have upset the braying herd by sharing that you are having your baby privately.

Oh, twaddlybollocks. OP mildly upset posters by incorrectly asserting as fact that HVs were medically unqualified and by saying that it was an "odd thought" that there might ever be an issue that wasn't best handled by a consultant -- probably also by sounding a bit paranoid about the government "checking up" on her.

OP, if you tick the hypothetical "educated middle-class two-parent household" box then the HV will go away and never bother you again, because the service is massively over-stretched and will prioritise parents they think are in need of help/support. So you are really over-thinking this.

you may have planned to give birth in a private hospital, but please be aware, should anything begin to go wrong, you will be whooshed into nhs care quicker than you can say "baby's in distress and meconium is present

Very true. Unless you give birth in a private hospital with a neonatal unit in it.

Pobble- none of the private institutions on our area have this- they all transfer to nhs in emergencies. I suppose it's only London where privates have their own neonatal units?

gin- I think you need to look at the resentment thing- honestly, none of this is worth worrying about when you're heavily pg, and about to meet your baby! You're overthinking this part

You can opt out of the HV system its ridiculous to say that you can't! You simply write to the practice where they are attached and formally wihdraw from contact. You don't have to but it may help to state the alternative arrangements you have made for support and advice.

I withdrew from our service after a particularly pushy HV made me extremely uncomfortable with her insistence on being involved in every aspect of my child's development despite her veing my fourth child!

I've had some amazing suppirt from HVs so they aren't all bad but it really is luck of the draw

It's interesting the way this thread has gone. It wasn't what I was expecting to see when I clicked on it. On every other thread about HVs I have read on MN, the vast majority of posters have been complaining about how useless HVs are or how they gave inaccurate advice, etc, with a small minority saying that they found them really useful.

P.s I think the irritation you've commented on is because you've written off an entire profession as irrelevant and unnecessary without appearing to have direct experience or a full understanding of their role.

That's because MN is not a single entity but a collection of many many voices with different experiences and opinions.

Both of mine were great. My experience but I have heard differing experiences. It's the tone of the op I find objectionable, based on no experience whatsoever. Meet the HV, like/hate and then form opinion

Yes because people are quite likely to come on here to have a rant, so you will get rants about bad HVs more than people spontaneously coming on to say theirs is quite helpful. But wherever I've seen "all HVs are crap" type comments in the past, I've defended mine.

I'm not annoyed that OP is going private, I just think she is in classic "I'm in control of everything, I know it all, I won't need xyz kind of help, I'll sail through it all" mode which some people get into before having their first child. Some of them are right and they are fine. Some of them get the biggest shock of their lives when they realise just how emotional and exhausted they can feel in the first few weeks/months. Someone checking on you, popping round, caring about your baby can make all the difference. If you let them.

Just think of it an irritating system that is there to catch the parents who do need help and to flag issues such as potential risks to babies. Fantastic that you don't need them. Let them visit once, nod in all the right places and spend one hour letting the HV fill her forms in. Why give the HVs the hassle of trying to work out whether you are opting out because you don't need any help or opting out because you know your home life is putting your baby at risk and want to avoid HV because of that.

Don't knock health visitors until you have met one OP.

You seem to be in the lucky position of having additional private health care that many people don't have access to. I was doubtful about HV's too, all sorts of horror stories from my Grandma and her sister from the late 1940's. But, mine was a god send. She was practical, realistic and ran a great baby massage class too. You might be thankful for the support, I was. I had great advice on all sorts of child related stuff and she was the one that spotted my pnd.

I live in NZ now and there is no universal state funded HV programme. Be thankful you live somewhere where the service is available. Try it, you might be surprised.

Although I've had friends with useless or rubbish HVs mine couldn't have been better. She was never interfering, never gave rubbish advice & I only saw her when I wanted to. She was supportive of my choices & was an essential sounding-board when my DS went through night terrors at an early age which was a terrifying experience for us. When I struggled to do various things when DS was tiny (due to my disability) she went away and researched aids and different ways to do things to help me. She supported my decisions and suggested things but never forced options on me. She was so common sense helpful, it was great especially as you often hear so much bollocks when you have kids. I wouldn't write yours off until you meet them. If you don't like them then just never go and see them again - it's that simple.

We have an excellent paediatrician so why on earth would I want a less qualified woman hanging about when I can take my concerns directly to said consultant.

You didn't say that in your OP though, you said you would get a couple of visits from a midwife. If you had said I have no need for a health visitor because I have a private consultant who will do all the tests a HV does, answer all the little niggling "is this ok" "shout he be doing that" concerns, advise on safety, weaning, weigh the baby etc etc then obviously people would have answered differently.

Your OP seemed to suggest you didn't want a HV based on the experiences of some people and because you don't agree with the government providing them, so people answered accordingly trying to help reassure you with good experiences and examples of all the useful things a HV can do.

I told my GP I didn't want a HV (we have a paediatrician) and she was absolutely fine about it. It did mean that GP did the health checks and gave immunisations but she never said that was a problem. HV was probably relieved because she would have been aware that I had made a formal complaint previously and a different HV had had to appear before LHA panel (later forced to resign). No one informed Children's Services.

I think it varies depending on area Frusso mine just turned up the day after the midwives discharged me.

Looks like you already have your mind made up and you seem to think you are far too superior to have lowly health visitors around you.

Hi OP

I used to be a school nurse and shared an office with health visitors.

You can totally opt out if you want to and it doesn't trigger any alarm bells to social services or anything. They might phone you or write to you and persuade you to opt in but its not compulsory to access the health visitor or school nursing service at all.

Your DC will still be invited for vaccinations as they are dealt with by the child health department and not linked to whether to access health visitors or not.

If you want to opt out then you can discuss with your GP or when you get a letter for your first health visitor visit, just ring them and tell them you wish to opt out. I think there is a form you have to fill in that they will send to you.

Least you acknowledge they are actually qualified now OP..

Think you sound quite ignorant, you've never even met a HV.

Maybe you should of posted about the extra support you will recieve to begin with and then people wouldn't of thought you'd be going it alone so to speak?

OP you have fallen foul of mumsnet's hatred of all things private medical related. I see that some posters even feel the need to warn you that your baby may be at risk because you are giving birth privately. (Funny how it's ok to give birth at home but not in a private hospital but hey ho.)

You absolutely can opt out of the HV meetings. I did with my second after I felt it added little the first time around. I also had a brilliant private pediatrician. I found it a better resource than the HV.

I never quite get why others are so cross about this; after all, it's one less person using overstretched NHS resources...

I wouldn't bother declining the visit. Just offer them tea and biscuits and nod wisely in response to whatever the say. That would be my advice.

How long will your midwife visit for?

I think HVs are involved for several years?