Why do people feel the need to comment?!

[mandbaby]

Aaaarghhhh!

I'm 22 weeks pregnant with DC3. We don't know the sex but already have two boys. I'm naturally and luckily very slim (size 8-10) and have always had very neat bumps. I've been showing for about 7 weeks but up until now have kept it well disguised wearing normal, loose clothing. Today, I've warn a jersey dress which clings to me and it's VERY obvious I'm pregnant.

Cue comments from colleagues:
"oooh, you're much bigger than last time" (No I'm not, it's just the first time you've seen my bump because I've kept it hidden until now! In fact, many colleagues weren't even aware I was pregnant until today!)
"It's definitely another boy, your bump is all at the front"

Who made these people bloody experts?! Surely it's possible to have an "up front" bump and it be a girl. Do any of you really buy that boy/girl bollocks? I think it's rubbish and your bump is entirely to do with your own body shape, age and eating habits.

Rant over. goes off to scream into a pillow

Annoying isn't it? My bump is quite big and I'm fed up of people I barely know telling me I'm huge. Everyone also presumes I must be hoping for a boy because I already have a DD and don't believe me when I tell them I have no preference.

Yep! Been there (am there) I'm like you. Slim.
My bump is huuuuge at 39 weeks but all out front like I was with Dd. Having another girl. We found out. But that doesn't stop people from insisting we are wrong and the 6 (!!!) scans we've had are all wrong.

Another thing I hate: "she's about to POP!" Comments from random strangers.

"Oh I couldn't give birth to a big baby because I'm not as tall as you"... Sorry what? So being taller suddenly equals giant gaping fanny and 10lbs babies just fall out? I'm a size 10... Narrow tall person. It's as hard for me as it is for anyone!!

Also, haven't heard from anyone in weeks... Months! Suddenly everyone is coming out of the woodworks wanting to know when the due date is (as if I'm not already all too aware that this kid has to come out!)
And asking 'any sign of baby?'
OH SHIT YEAH! I forgot to say I've been walking around with her head popped out and just neglected to mention it. Chill out people! You'll know when it happens and no sooner! Gah!

Nunyabiz you just reminded me about my MIL. We generally don't get on but are civil. She didn't call me during any of my hospital stays or any other times I was unwell whilst pregnant to see how I was (but she knew about it, as DH had told her!) yet when it got close to my due date she suddenly started phoning me EVERY DAY to see if I'd had 'any signs'. I stopped answering the phone after the first couple of times, but of course that made her think I must be in labour! Total nightmare.
I'm hoping she doesn't do the same thing when I'm due this time.

Ugh drives me crazy. Glad it's not just me. My mum has been calling every day (we live in UK- family are all in Aus). We have a fraught relationship and I suspect she fears she will be last to know... But we wouldn't do that.

So far today alone:
DH's friend- "are you a daddy yet?" (Already a dad mate- remember that 3 year old girl we're rather find of?)
DH's other friend "any sign of baby yet? you'll have 3 times the trouble soon!" (Delightful...dickhead)
DH's dad- "hello son- must be getting close now to nunya having her second baby" (hmm interesting- last I checked our daughters are both of our children- not just mine? Strange) also "make sure you let us know when everything kicks off!" (Nope sorry we will not be informing you when I'm in labour. It's not something I really need to think about while pushing a human out of me)
My friend- "let me know when you're in labour!" (Again- no. Why would I?)
Random girl I went to school with- "when's your due date?" (How about fuck off I'm not telling you. She'll be here when she's here)
My aunt - "any sign of baby?" (Nope!)

Probably a tad touchy. Why are people soooo bloody nosey?

Sorry for the major hijack

I have a front bump and am having a girl, the experts decided that front bump = girl when the heard.

Also been told I am tiny bumped... Before they know how far gone I am! Duh!

It's ride though I know often well meaning.. I just see it as rude

Aren't your boobs big?
Carrying at your back (aka big arse)

Etcetera ...

I lost all he weight quickly after ds1 but got pregnant five months after having him. Starting to show, dreading the personal comments everyday.

It's rude not its ride, sorry

I know what you mean. There's a bloke at my work whose wife is due just days before me and since day 1 he's been commenting on my bump vs hers (mine is 'MUCH smaller' apparently), I love my neat bump and the fact I haven't ballooned everywhere but there's always an insinuation that I'm not big enough which frustrates me.

I had exactly that today. 21 and a bit weeks. "Oooh, that baby's twice the size it was last week". No, I'm just wearing a different dress. FFS, I barely know you, don't comment on my body.

Heather I've had people out and out say it. Before they realise I'm not yet 24 weeks.

Even so they suggest checking, and when I say my Dr team are happy umm and ahh as if they know better. My Drs team is headed up by Prof Lesley Regan... As they clearly read all the books on pregnancy they won't need to Google her lol.

I keep getting "wow, you're big! Sure it's not twins?"
3 scan's have said only one in there. Fundal height is spot on. Midwife, GP and Physio all comment on how SMALL the bump is!
I keep being told bump looks like girl as well. We don't know what we are having. I don't buy the bump being different based on gender, how can gender of baby determine that?

Today I had, from my boss, "wow, you've really popped out! I saw you stand sideways and thought 'oh my goodness!'". To which I replied, "well, I've not got long to go now". This started a conversation in the office with my other boss saying "you've not put on weight anywhere else, you're all bump" to which everyone agreed, and when I got embarassed one said "oh, just enjoy it!".

It was a compliment, I guess, but I get really uncomfortable when people make any kind of comment! Then later, from a different colleague, "oh, I think you're having another girl, you're all up front".

My colleagues are all lovely, and I know they're being nice, but I'd still rather they say nothing at all! There's another lady in the office though that often says "you're looking great, theborrower. Really well".

Theborrower- they sound nicer than my old colleagues who shouted across the trading floor "so do you have to wear those incontinence pads yet?" And "we what's up with your belly button?" Or "wow your tits have gotten massive!"

I'm 30 weeks and so fed up of the "wow, you're massive" and "are you sure there's only one in there?" type comments.

When guys at work start saying the baby's big and then mentally start thinking of what that means for my lady bits I just feel so uncomfortable. I'd rather they weren't trying to guess whether I'm big or small down there to be honest.

So many rude people and I start feeling like I'm the first freak to ever have a baby!

It is annoying and I think all women looks great when they are pregnant.

Feck them people trying to spoiling it with stupid comments.

My OH told me my pregnancy had started to show in my face shape yesterday... I think he was trying to give me a compliment (!?) but clearly I already have the puffy exhausted fat pregnant woman face at 19 weeks :(

I get equal amounts of "you're much bigger / much smaller than last time"..meaning that no one can actually remember what size I was at this stage last time..including me!

I have had a few pats on my bump (only by people I like thankfully) but it does feel like an invasion of personal space. I realise that people go on mat leave to escape endless inane comments!

My favourite is the 'ooh, definitely a girl, look at that waist' whilst patting said waist in a supposedly congratulatory fashion. Basically, you're saying I've got a giant back. Fuck off. That along with, 'sure it's not twins, hohohoho.' Yes, dickheads. I've had 6 scans. GRR

Some of these have really made me laugh!

Another one that really pisses me off is "I've been having loads of heartburn" "Oh it's going to have loads of hair".

Well, actually, it's probably not. Neither of my sons had a hair on their heads until almost 6 months and I had awful heartburn with both of them.

Similar stories when I tell them I've had morning sickness ("oh definitely a girl") Again, awful sickness with both my boys.

I feel like replying "well, I'm pretty certain I'm having either a boy or a girl".

And the other thing that pisses me off is the assumption that I must be DESPERATE for a girl because I have two boys. I'm really not that bothered, thank you.

Thank you all of you, I feel a bit more normal now. I went to an event yesterday at which there were a lot of people I know from our wider social circle, some of whom I haven't seen since we have started telling people that I'm pregnant and my bump is looking noticeable now. It's out beyond my boobs from my lofty viewpoint and I'm only 14+4 but we're all different and it's just how my body is dealing with it - not sure that it isn't all bloat and more of a food baby anyway!

I have lost count of the number of inane comments I received yesterday (mostly from men) about

• how big I am already, which made me feel like a freak
• am I sure it's not twins? er 2 scans so far have said not
• how big my boobs have got - not really your place to comment
• was it planned? er...no, we've both got to the ripe old age of 39+ without understanding the mechanics of conception
• how does my DP feel about it? ditto the above and the fact that we are both responsible adults who knew what we were doing and therefore we are both delighted. It's the insinuation that it's somehow all my doing and that DP innocently had no idea it might happen and that it would be a shock for him that really pees me off.
• so when are you getting married then? bog off - it's none of your business whether we get married or not
• how great it is to be pregnant and that I should be enjoying it and being more positive about it when I stupidly mentioned after 6 hours on my feet that it was probably time I headed off as I was shattered, aching and in desperate need of my bed (I nearly killed that hapless idiot)

And the number of people (again, all men with only one exception) who felt it was absolutely fine to dive in and grab my tummy which suddenly seems to have become public property. Only one person asked permission. WHY do they have to do that???

Sorry for the lengthy rant - it feels better to have offloaded!

Some of these comments are because people are excited for you, not that they're being nosey. I get excited when someone close to me (Friend or Family) is having a baby and probably ask silly questions. And I've been pregnant, had all those questions and never felt like that about it...

I think we all need to have a cathartic grump from time to time. Especially when the hormones are in play.

It's therapeutic

I don't mind excited questions from friends, I hate people I haven't sseen in years suddenly messaging me.
I'm fine with what do you think you're having? or have you heard of the nub theory? I hate assertive gender 'guesses' from idiots who keep saying I'm always right about this etc....
I don't mind people saying nice things about my bump, but I know that there will be comments that make me want to stab people as I get bigger!

My Mum is irritating me, every time I mention or she asks about my birth plan (she is coming as well as DP) she says something like oh well, you can't be sure you won't want an epidural or you might hate that position at the time etc etc, I know ffs, that's why it's only a plan, all I can base it on is what I think I'm going to want considering I've never done it before!!!! She's the same with what I plan to do when baby is born- I think it's a subtle way of saying I disagree or a reflection of her own experiences rather than thinking about ME.

And how anyone thinks touching without asking is ok I will never know!