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anyone on fourth preg,feel alone!!

74 replies

el123456 · 30/08/2006 20:23

am 20 wks into fourth pregnancy and am struggling to find any mums with more than two children.i know a couple with 3 but they say i am insane to go for fourth.anyone with similar experiances?

OP posts:
liahgen · 07/09/2006 14:57

Hi all, we are currently expecting number 5!! I have lots of friends that have 3 or more children, we are definately not in the minority.
We due early May, we have girl 11, boy 9, boy 3 and girl 17 mths. Have lost 2 at 11wks, one complete m/c, one missed, discovered at scan. We on stats thread for may 07. We love having loads kids round, big kids always got one or more of their mates round. Like to think we fairly laid back. Someone once said you can't love the fifth as much as the first, that someone doesn't have 5 children!!

tartanchatterbox · 07/09/2006 15:47

I HAD BABY BOY IN JANUARY. WE WERE MAD AS WE MOVED A WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS! The normal reaction're crazy - but you really have to school your reaction as otherwise it gets REALLY annoying and you end up cross. I had girls 5,3,2 and Tom. The older two are now back at school (P1& P3).

I don't recommend bunk beds, as my neice broke her arm. Bunks are not recommended to kids under 6 years, and the younger ones ALWays end up on the top bunk because they like climbing.!

I do think that a mid-sleeper with an extra mattress under works brilliantly .

snuggles3 · 07/09/2006 15:48

I am slightly embarrased about facing the midwives again so soon!
Especially cus i had a difficult pregnancy last time. Nevermind!

tartanchatterbox · 07/09/2006 15:59

snuggles - don't be - you're the reason they have a job! I had a great set of midwives for no's 1,2 and 3, and even had 2 great homebirths. My midwives were not surprised to see me again. Maybe not so soon anyway

el123456 · 07/09/2006 16:15

serious hormone overload!have started to get tearful when reading the messages.they are just so lovely to read.had second scan yesterday and am having another boy so two of each!bunk beds are definately the way to go.those of you with small gaps,they will be great play mates which will be a real benefit and you can pass down clothes!

OP posts:
el123456 · 07/09/2006 16:17

sorry,missed part about broken arms on b beds!ill take back that part!

OP posts:
zazas · 07/09/2006 16:21

I'm pregnant with no 3 but have 2 step children who live with us a 1/3 of the time. It is because of the joy and fun we have with all 4 kids 8,6,5 & 5 that we were encouraged to add another! Plus we do have one more seat in the people carrier!

I ignore people who question our judgement as they are ours to bring up and love and cherish - which we want to do. Plus they grow up so quickly and we look forward to having 5 kids coming back to visit us when we are old! My friend just had her 9th and she home schools them - utmost respect there!

tartanchatterbox · 07/09/2006 16:26

I actually ended up taking the bunks apart, and the "top" bunk works brilliantly as a first proper bed because it's got sides all around.

tartanchatterbox · 07/09/2006 16:30

My freind has just had her 4th caesarian. They asked her if she wanted her tubes tied during the caesar, she suddenly realised she wasn't ready to let go of the idea of another one!
Big families are great. I'm tired but it is worth it. I'm worried about when they are off to school - and Tom isn't 1 year old yet {sad]

el123456 · 07/09/2006 17:46

nine!and is home schooling!serious respect for her.

OP posts:
loopylaura68 · 07/09/2006 18:08

ive just had my 6th! my 2nd little girl :D had 2 boys,now ages 18 & 15,then a girl now 13,then 2 more boys 10 & 5,then had my daughter now 7 wks old :D it is tiring yes,but wouldnt be without any of them!my friend not long had twins which were her 7th & 8th children!

racoons · 07/09/2006 20:33

this is my first time on mumsnet. I am a mum of 3 children who are close in age. Had a 3 yr old, 16mth old and new born and although I found first year hard it is getting easier and am now contemplating a fourth!! Children are now 5, 3 and 23 months and get on well(although still have their moments!!) Anyone out there recommend a fourth as still hesitant as I have had 3 c sections and would need a fourth as have CPD.

alwaysmum · 08/09/2006 14:20

Hi All,
This is my first time on here as don't usually have the time to add anything. You all look on having 3-4 children as a big family but to me it's small. We have 13 (yes13) children ranging from 30 down to 6mths. 8 boys and 5 girls. Life is hectic all the time and the older ones can be more trouble than the little ones, but on the whole I love it and wouldn't have it any other way. Would just like to add, I have given birth to all of them, there are no twins, triplets etc and they are all from the same husband. Highly recommend loads of kids if you can stand it!!!!

Nicola63 · 08/09/2006 17:14

Alwaysmum, that is amazing and wonderful. May I ask how old you are now? You must be at least in your mid-40s?

alwaysmum · 08/09/2006 19:45

I am 46 and had my first at 16. It's been much more tiring as I've got older and the pregnancies have been a little more difficult and the last 4 have been c sections, but I've got through it with the help of my family who have been wonderful plus a great midwife!!!

fistfullofnappies · 08/09/2006 23:32

goodness alwaysmum, loads of respect!
Im stopping at 4 because I feel thats my emotional, administrative and financial limit. But I do admire people who have enough love for more children.

liahgen · 09/09/2006 10:28

Alwaysmum, , fantastic, dh would love more but we on number 5, due May, me 40 in couple weeks, could squeeze one more in then??!! Where u live? small mansion perhaps..

Mytholmroyd · 09/09/2006 17:35

Hi racoons

I have had 4 csections - was told to stop at 3 but couldnt let them tie the tubes when it came to it . The last in March was a somewhat unexpected baby but a joy nonetheless and I knew I wanted no more after that. I'm 45 but the op and recovery were no worse than any of the others, in fact, recovery probably better. I was worried about going to the doctors when I found out I was pregnant but she said no worries her sister-in-law had had 5 with no problems. Got the same sort of reaction from the (female) consultant. Everyones different I guess but I wouldnt rule it out purely on numerical grounds!!!

DDN5065 · 13/09/2006 07:54

Hi there - it tunrs out I was pg but am now having a m/c at 5+ weeks...started bleeding today with lots of back pain. I was shocked by this development to begin with and now this. I had not even told DH - I guess this gives us a chance to re-evaluate if we want to make the leap to the 4th baby. we had not planned on this but have been on the fence. I can't help but feel a bit melancholy about this even though I was feeling a little overwhelmed last week...

Happy & healthy pg's to all the 4th and 5th and xth time moms out there!


mum26plus · 15/09/2006 00:47

I have 6 children, 3 boys and 3 girls whose ages range from 16 to 2 and I'm currently pregnant with the 7th, due in Feb. I think people got over telling me I was mad at baby number 4 :-) and finally accepted I love children and I have a job I can genuinely say I adore 365 days of the year. I will probably keep having them too until grandkids come along or mother nature has her say whichever comes first LOL

duchesse · 20/09/2006 10:26

How nice to find this thread! Am currently 9 weeks pregant with much-wanted number 4 and am dreading telling anybody. It just seems so socially unacceptable to have even three these days, and MIL goes on and on about the fact we had three.

We always wanted four, but as it turns out, there is going to be a big gap between numbers 3 and 4, as my older children are 13, 11 and 9. We feel that this will make things easier as far as school and university fees are concerned, since by the time the youngest is ready for any of these things, numbers 1-3 will be pretty much out of them.

What concerns me most, beyond reaching 50 with a teenager in tow (I am currently 38, will be 39 when this one is born in May 07), is having what will effectively be an only child. Does anybody else have any experience of having another after a long gap, and do you have any advice for us?

anniediv · 20/09/2006 10:31

Duchesse, I am currently expecting No $ and not really told anyone, the norm round here is 2 (one of each preferably!). So me with 3 dds and probably another to come is going to freak people out!

I just wanted to say that I am No 4 of 4, there is a big gap between me and my brother. From my point of view, my parents had 'seen it all before' and were very laidback with me, and my sister was like a 2nd mum because of our age gap (and still is!). We are all very close. I still get inroduced by my brothers as 'this is my little sister...', I'm 35!! I think a big gap can work very well.

Having said all that, all my 4 will be under 6! Good luck to you

anniediv · 20/09/2006 10:31

NO 4 even

Mytholmroyd · 23/09/2006 22:33

Duchesse - I wouldnt worry about the age gap. My middle two girls are 14 and 5 and they argue like cat and dog over the telly, food, where they sit in the car - that is, just like normal sisters. Its quite funny but they clearly know just how to push each others buttons!

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