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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Did anyone else really go off their husband when pregnant?

35 replies

Piffle · 29/08/2006 14:59

I'm finding this really tough
He makes me feel ill, I cannot stand kissing him properly, him touching me in bed, even cuddling drives me mad
This is not usual he's getting really hurt, I have explained that I think it's hormones and will get better in the 2nd trimester (I'm 11 weeks)
Please reassure me that this happens to other women too.

OP posts:
mazzystar · 29/08/2006 15:04

Yup, though am simultaneously mad about him somehow. To be honest, I have put it down to being really tired and feeling crappy and therefore finding all the little things I usually don't mind really, really irritating.

Orlando · 29/08/2006 15:06

Hmmm. Yes. But had horribly, embarrassingly, graphically erotic dreams at the same time.

Original poster
Piffle · 29/08/2006 15:06

with dp it's his body smell (he's hygenically clean btw) but I loved it up until 6 weeks ago, now pukesville

OP posts:
Elibean · 29/08/2006 15:09

Oh Piffle, thank you for posting that (though sorry you're going through it).

I almost have an aversion to dh when pregnant. It was the same first time around, but not as extreme - this time, I have had a real problem with my sense of smell. It was worst in the first trimester, but still not ok in the second, this time.
I think its hormones too...(dh doesn't smell to anyone else, and I usually like any faint whiffs of his!)
Not much help, but you're not alone - and neither is your husband. Do tell him that from me, and I'll reassure my dh too

Twinkie1 · 29/08/2006 15:09

DP smelt funny when I was pregnant too - he didn't change anything about himself with regards to bodily hygeine (which he is scrupulous about may I add!) - but I couldn't bare him near me!!!

Original poster
Piffle · 29/08/2006 15:14

Thank heavens
He is starting to lose his saintly patience about the lack of nookie as well and I cannot bear the thought. I hope like hell it disappears next trimester or I may end up with a huge problem

OP posts:
JaneNZ · 29/08/2006 15:14

I'm glad somebody else has mentioned the erotic dreams, I thought I was going mad - particularly when I felt so washed out I could have lain down on the footpath and gone to sleep!

FoghornLeghorn · 29/08/2006 15:14

I just generally didn't want DH near me when I was first pregnant. Much better now though and am 28 weeks.
Did you mean DH Twinkie

lubella · 29/08/2006 15:19

agreed - I couldn't stand the smell of him or laying down in bed cuddling it made me nauseous and just irritated me - just getting over it now at 25 weeks
how funny this is so common...

Olihan · 29/08/2006 15:21

Yep, have done all 3 times. I'm 23 weeks now and still don't really want to be hugged/kissed, etc unless it's by my instigation. Think DH has sort of got used to it by now, 3rd time round.

Sex also is totally out of the question. It seems that as soon as I get a bfp my libido ups and leaves. Just thinking that he might want it makes me want to smack him and a gentle stroke on the back warrants a real 'get off me, what are you doing?' growl. He does accept that it's just a hormonal thing and it's only for the 9 months. TBH, if he couldn't put his own needs aside while I go through pregnancy, childbirth and all the associated things then he would be finding himself another dw.

cupcakes · 29/08/2006 15:22

oh piffle I had exactly this with dh. The smell of him - that man smell - made me want to heave. And he does smell lovely.
I only had it in my first pg and that was a boy so I have decided it's an excess of male pheromones that I can't take.

shhhh · 29/08/2006 15:24

I hate the smell of dh when I'm pregnant and he's usually the cleanest and yummy smelling bloke I know..!

The smell of his aftershave, deodrant, hairgel etc is vile..! Now at 18 weeks I think I'm over it now ..!! But I still have the odd off day. Bizarre.!!

sleepfinder · 29/08/2006 15:41

I had similar reactions during the first trimester. But it was about the food he had eaten rather than any bathroom products he used, or his usual smell.

If he ate pasta with anchovies and pesto - I found myself gagging and heaving if he was talking to me and certainly would never entertain the idea of a kiss! He got in the habit of brushing his teeth but that didn't always solve the problem. So I banned anchovies.

MINNIE1 · 29/08/2006 15:43

Same here was stronger with first pregnancy.. Its hard at the early stages cause with me everything made me sick.. Just reasure him that its all down to your hormones.

DP asked me to cuddle into him last night (this i always do when not pg) i said no cause i dont fit!! and i dont..

pol26 · 29/08/2006 15:55

my DP smells funny and does stupid (supposed to be loving gestures) of little tickles and pinches... although when preg and like a bear with a sore head beware... Don't want him near me unless he's going to be entirely sympathetic- rather than you really wanted to be preg! - no I wanted another baby! Or unless he will just snuggle with no other motives

HappyMumof2 · 29/08/2006 16:22

Message withdrawn

SophieB · 29/08/2006 17:07

Im like that at the moment with my partner, im 36 weeks. Every little thing he does irratates me anything he says will send me into a mood! We dont do the touchy feely thing! i keep telling him its my hormones but he gets annoyed when i dont fancy the 'bed thing'!! Only normal i think, well i hope anyway!

squishy · 29/08/2006 17:39

I thought, all during my first trimester, that it would get better in the second but it didn't and it hasn't really improved much in the third! We did manage sex a couple of times but it was uncomfortable bordering on painful and that was really off putting (sorry if TMI). But I genuinely didn't/don't feel sexy (no erotic dreams, either) and don't want to be touched or kissed. Can manage a big hug, but that's it. I have to say this is balanced with feeling really in love with DH who is being so supportive etc. Have to assume it's the hormones and will get better after the birth (although maybe not immediately after ).

moondog · 29/08/2006 17:47

Oh Piffle!
You're pregnant!!
Great news-congratulations!!

Greensleeves · 29/08/2006 17:56

It's really common. It must be really difficult though. Congratulations Piffle btw

squishy · 29/08/2006 18:07

Just wanted to add, that is is really common, not to feel all full of libido at the beginning of the second trimester. I felt so let-down as all the books had me believing I'd be a sex-goddess and kept thinking I wasn't normal!

Daisypops · 29/08/2006 18:50

Olihan I'm LMAO at your comment about smacking him and growling. Only yesterday DH said I seem to be 'snarling' more. Not off DH's smell, just can't be bothered kissing him. Fancy the ass off him but I don't feel sexy at all and sex has been a no no for weeks and I expect that will be it now til after bub is here!

lle1971 · 29/08/2006 19:18

It's nice to hear this is normal. I couldn't stand the smell of DH in first trimester of both pregnancies. If I had the time and energy I used to change the bedclothes everyday to reduce the 'smell'!
DH smells lovely at all other times and this aversion stopped by about 12 weeks.

malteser1 · 29/08/2006 19:22

LoL at the stories.
Never had any sense of smell issues when pregnant but it must be hormonal for this many women to feel the same way.
How about going to the spare room with your mobile and calling him for phone sex.
DH will think you are a kinky sex goddess and can achieve the best sort of stress relief there is.
You too could join in if the fancy took you.
And you'll not have the nose problem to make you feel nauseous.

Original poster
Piffle · 29/08/2006 20:26

malteser, my mother is taying in the spare room at the moment
Phone sex, ugh actually that sounds equally grim.

I love this man, he is very affectionate, I'm not overly so, but atm am positively brittle.
He works away and has high expectations of the 2 days a wek he does have at home, I am starting to feel very guilty.
I might just point him to this thread maybe...

OP posts:
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