Hyperemesis Support

[LucindaE]

I hope everyone suffering from the Horrors of Hyperemesis will find this thread useful as a source of support and information.

There's no TMI on here - can't be by definition - and nobody should feel ashamed of moaning as much as they feel the need to.

MOH's wonderful website is full of useful information on this illness:
sites.google.com/site/pregnancysicknesssos/
Another invaluable website is:
www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk/
If you need help in obtaining medication, this phone number is
brilliant:
024 7638 2020

Lastly, the NICE guidelines on treatment are useful:
cks.nice.org.uk/nauseavomiting-in-pregnancy#!prescribinginfosub

I would like to thank Everyone who has given such invaluable support and advice on this and on previous threads.

Remember when you are at your worst, 'This Too Shall Pass'. It really will.
So many women on this thread have thought they couldn't get through this, but they did.

I back for a moan if that's ok?

I don't have HG my doctor just put early pregnancy sickness on my sickline so I really hope you don't mind me being here.

I've been taking cyclizine for my sickness and I found it helped with the nausea with the side effect of making me very drowsy. At least it was helping though.

Anyway, my mum insisted I go out yesterday for lunch (managed a sandwich) and then I sat in the car while she did a food shop.

Today though I haven't been able to get out of bed. I'm absolutely shattered. I feel like I've no energy at all. I kept trying to get up and having to lie down.

Here is the only place I can say this but, I really really wish I wasn't pregnant. I hate feeling like this. I haven't seen outside of dh and mum for days and days on end. I feel tearful and very sad at my current pathetic state.

I'm sorry to say that- I realise so many people would love to be pregnant. What kind of person does that make me?

Sorry to be so self indulgent, today has been a really bad day.

I don't know when this will end and I don't even have what you ladies have, so I can't imagine what you must feel like.

It makes you normal dotty! Don't feel bad for loathing the experience, that's only rational if you are feeling very unwell, or even doubting the whole decision. Do go with the exhaustion and just stay in bed - it's so hard I know because morale is also important and sometimes making an extra effort/going out is worth it for the boost in mood but in my experience you do always pay for it for a day or so afterwards. You'll probably find that your mood picks up along with your energy in another day or so once you've recovered from doing a bit more yesterday. How far along are you now? It will get better than this.

it makes you the kind of person who's been having a really bad time and I think many of us have wished the same at times. I know I did, in spades. It comes with life being really hard to endure ...

It does, eventually, pass. It does. And we're here when you need to vent and to talk to people who understand.

Do rest as much as you can, really. it is one of the things known to help. So don't feel bad about staying in bed, you're doing what is best.

Dotty feeing like you do is the normal, rational response to feeling like you do. I felt like that for weeks (and still have my moments now!). Well done for getting out, but the next day exhaustion is also totally normal. Be kind to yourself. It doesn't matter to me if you have officially been diagnosed with HG or "just" sickness... It was ages before I had HG 'officially' written into my notes, it wasn't that that was effecting just how shit I was feeling. this will get better.

I have just popped on to this thread, as I do from time to time as a former HG sufferer, but I had to post after seeing kali here.
kali I was on the thread with you last time. I was a few weeks ahead of you I think (my dd was born early October) but will always remember you as we both suffered for the entire time. Well done for braving it again. I dearly hope you don't suffer as badly this time. I've had three pg. two HG, one fine. The first HG 'only' to twenty weeks, and then the second HG the one I shared with you last time went right to the end. So you never know, you might get off more lightly this time.
Good luck to everyone here, it really was the most horrendous time I can remember.
Keep up the good work lucinda

Dotty I hate being pregnant too.

That doesn't make you a bad person at all. This isn't how it is supposed to be and nobody warns you about how shit it can be.

Stop worrying about how you should be feeling and instead focus on taking care of yourself. As the others said if you try and do too much you will pay for it later on.

I went weeks and weeks without seeing anyone but my parents and DH and it is really hard and isolating. It's normal to feel tearful and down. Anyone would in the same situation.

Also don't for a second worry about whether you have HG or not. The distinction is very hazy and totally irrelevant to how you are feeling.

Take it hour by hour and hang on in there.

dotty a label doesn't matter, I was never properly given the title either, just got given medication to use throughout pregnancy and was one of the fortunate ones who responded to it well. It's obvious you are suffering and that is why we are here to listen and help :)

I spent all day in bed today too. I spent the whole of my first trimester and half of the second moving from bed to sofa. People just don't understand if they haven't been there. If you don't want to go for a walk, say no even if your DM thinks it is best for you. They don't understand! Fresh air is not some miracle cure for this condition. Do what feels right for you and what makes you feel better.

It can make you feel horribly low and that is to be expected with the toll it takes on you physically and mentally. I have hated being pregnant - it is the most difficult thing I have done. Just hold onto the fact that there is an end.

Did you take your cyclizine at night? Would that make it easier? Don't be afraid to explore different options medication wise if you don't feel this is quite working for you.

Very small gentle pats for you.

Hey dotty I've been having the same feelings about my pregnancy. I shared with a close friend and also with my dad when sat in a&e triage. It's very normal, one of those un talked about parts of pregnancy. I'm hoping this feeling will pass in time, and at the end there will be a healthy baby to make it all worth it. Have a (((hug))) from me, it'll get better!

My mum took me to her house last week as a change of scenery. It's only 25 mins away and I did the same there as I would have at home (sofa, tv, tablet, sleeping) but was nice to see another set of walls, and my brothers were there, albeit in their rooms/on the xbox/roaming the house for food. The day after I felt so drained I didn't bother to get dressed and stayed in bed all day.

If you still feel horrendously ill, don't feel shy about adding your Dr for something more. I asked, and the meds I'm now on are so much better. Managed 3 meals & 3 snacks today!!

And just on the whole pregnant thing - took me 2 years and a mc to get pregnant and I have felt like the world's most ungrateful bitch for most of the pregnancy as I hated hated hated it so much. Now I only have 2 weeks to go and I can feel the baby grooving away happily I can be more sanguine about it all, even though my nausea is through the roof again. But at the start it was beyond difficult.

It truly is the hardest thing I have gone through personally. Worse than battling bipolar and the treatment, going through a divorce, and in some ways worse than my mc - and I thought nothing could be more awful than that. Not sure I will be doing this again!

You are not alone

Hello plastic! Lovely to "see" you and of course I remember you. DS was born at the end of November 2012 so yes just a bit after you. Actually I remember I was v. excited when you had your baby as I think I was next on the list!

I think there is a huge difference between hating your pregnancy and hating your baby. It's something I grappled with for a long time and felt terribly guilty about until I recognised just how different those feelings were. At one point I couldn't even touch my bump because I was so sick and couldn't even face thinking about the fact that I was pregnant. But, I absolutely love my baby and can't wait for her to arrive in August; it's just that I have had a terribly difficult pregnancy because of the sickness and my emetaphobia and panic attacks haven't helped at all. For months, I only saw my dh, consultant and midwife. That's it. For weeks I couldn't walk out of my front door. It was so depressing, demoralising and I felt utterly isolated and beyond miserable. I'm still not able to get out much and my panic attacks are very bad - worse than they have been in years. But, like everyone always says, this does not last forever and it will end. Please don't feel guilty.

Thanks for the advice and support.

I always feel like I'm not such an abnormality when I post here

It was almost as if I had to pay for using all my energy yesterday by having to stay in bed today.

My mum is getting frustrated with me and actually said "good god, you can't STILL be sick!" I think people mean well but if you've never experienced this you just don't understand.

We've all been there. It's a standard family joke now about my pregnancy loathing. I don't even lie about it. It makes it easier for me to deal with. My brother is great, he will do absolutely anything to avoid vomiting and so he thinks I have absolutely the worst condition he could ever imagine!!

During my first pregnancy I didn't want to be pregnant and I didn't know how I felt about my baby. I never felt maternal nor was I particularly interested in children, so I found it hard dealing with HG and wondering if I'd done the right thing. However, people don't tend to talk about this....I couldn't tell anyone other than OH and parents I was pregnant first time such was my unhappiness about the situation.

Nausea and vomiting in pregnancy to hyperemesis is a spectrum. There is a lot of grey area.
The title doesn't matter...if it is stopping you perform daily activities, making you feel unwell and needing to rest then it sounds pretty horrible whatever the label it's given.
Even with a HG diagnosis you face a battle with people trivialising the condition because they had 'morning sickness' and just 'got on with it' and they can't be bothered to understand what it is you have :-(

We will all understand and may even have some tips!!
Sorry you are feeling so rotten Dottie

Dottie I feel exactly the same as you. Both my pregnancies were very much wanted babies, but the experience of the pregnancy has been awful both times. The combination of tiredness and HG is really bad and they also affect each other. If there was someway I could get the baby without the pregnancy I would not miss it at all!

On a tangent, does anyone else have constant nightmares and stess dreams? I don't remember having this problem first time round but with this pregnancy I wake up 20 times a night with nightmares and stress dreams and have done since the beginning. I asked on the pregnancy board and people suggested it might be the hormones. Is there any link to HG? It's beginning to wear me down and I don't want to go to sleep despite feeling really tired.

Finally checking in.

Dotty, I can really identify with those feelings. DS2 in particular was a desperately wanted baby after a few early losses, yet when the sickness kicked in I just couldn't bear it, and really did consider not continuing to make it stop. This time I think I have completely disassociated myself from a 'baby', and am almost just focussing on HG in isolation. Hopefully the 'excited about the baby' part will come later, when the sickness subsides.

Kali congratulations! Here's to the best pregnancy you can have, meds that work, lots of feet up time for you.

Boo yes I have odd dreams, I was blaming the stemetil but stopped taken it a couple of days ago (when I concluded that it wasn't working at all) and the dreams have continued. I don't know if it's HG or pregnancy, but for some reason I have very restless, broken sleep despite being exhausted, so maybe I'm just always in that REM sleep zone.

Got back Monday night. Flight was manageable. GP sent me to hospital yesterday morning with ketones at 4-8. Thought I'd be there a while, but had a good day - cyclizine injections always work for me! On drinking alone (no IV fluids) I managed to get ketones down to trace by the evening, so after a campaign (felt awful about bringing DS2 back to a different country away from his dad and brother then abandoning him) I was allowed home. Ketones still at trace this morning, so that's good. I'm going back later to see a doctor to discuss meds in more detail. I think I feel a lot better though just for it being a normal temperature and not 40 degrees. Missing DH and DS1 though.

booboo I had vivid dreams for some months. Some were just dreams some were full blown nightmares. they got worse towards the end, which wasn't fun when i was only getting 1-2 hours' sleep a night anyway. The 'mares were bloody awful both cuase they leave you feeling so shit and becuase it's impossible to sleep afterwards.

apparently vivid dreams are common in preg.

sunny glad to hear you're home and great that you didn't have to stay in hospital. How on earth you manage with DS2 with you and DH and DS1 elsewhere I have no idea ...

Meerka we are staying with my (retired but energetic) parents, so fortunately I have tonnes of help and don't need to "manage" too much, I'm just aiming for vaguely being around! We're not going back to our own house until DH gets home (at the earliest - when I was pregnant with DS2, DS1 and I moved in with my parents from after my first hospital admission at 8 weeks until about 18 weeks, as I couldn't even cope with DH being out at work all day). Feel slightly bad about the extent to which I am taking advantage, but can't really see another solution.

Littleplasticpeople Lovely to hear from you with your encouraging message. I'm hardly likely to forget that name - imaginattve? - and I remember your suffering the whole way through, too, at the same time as Kalidasa.
Punkstar That's a relief about the blood - New People As a rule of thumb, if there's red blood in your vomit, it's probably from the throat - I still have it with migraines - but if it's brown, to go to A and E, as it's from the stomach and a medical emergency to get it checked. I've only known a couple of people on here have that - Melangeatrois on the first of these threads then NitNatNaboo - I blame her gp as she'd had Hyperremesis before but they refused her any meds, believe it or not - and she got very ill, and someone else, stupid Mother Hen's forgotten who.
Hope no more admissions, everyone coping. Low spirits only normal. If you were happy to suffer this, then there might be a problem...
xx

boo I have terrible dreams. Adds to the anxiety :( I wake myself up, go for a glass of milk and a relax then try sleeping again. It's not fun, sympathiea.

sunny so pleased you made it back!

So had consultant. Baby looks fine and he did an internal to see if there was any action. In his words 'threre is music but not quite a full choir yet' . The head is very low and he can feel it (how insane is that) but no dilation for now. I have only just hit 38 weeks though so to be expected.

We are going to leave it another week for the baby to cook some more before doing anything. I go back in next Friday and we will make a decision then. He said not to worry, they won't let me go over 40 weeks. But no c section unless medically necessary. They have given me sleeping tablets yay but only to be used if necessary. Lorazepam whoop. I think they will only be a last resort as I didn't go to all the effort of carrying this baby all this time to fail at the last hurdle! Apparently overuse of lorazepam can make babies go floppy which I haven't Googled out of fear but it makes me feel better to have the security blanket of having the tablets if I need them.

On my phone so can't reply properly but hope everyone is OK

Boo yes also to the freaky dreams. Some are nightmares but most are just weird and very vivid. It's normal in pregnancy though apparently.

Hi all. I'm so glad I came on this thread today. Feeling really down at the moment and so glad that others feel the same as me.......not enjoying pregnancy. The baby is much wanted but I do hate being pregnant.

I'm sick to death of feeling like this, the constant nausea, the vile taste in my mouth, having to spit excess saliva into a bucket, not being able to go out, not even feeling well enough to go into the garden even, sick to death of having a stinging throat.......

I also feel guilty, my husband is working fulltime, doing the housework, cooking, washing, looking after 3dc's and working on our extension. He is shattered and exhausted and looks bloody awful. He keeps saying "I can't wait until you get better".

I feel like the inlaws think I'm faking or exaggerating and am just a lazy bitch.

I've got to go to see the GP on Friday to get some more Cyclizine, I'm just dreading going out.

Sorry to have a moan, I know you guys are the only ones who understand.

we know you're not a lazy bitch!!! and keep on taking it as easy as you can. You are conserving your stamina for the long haul, mam, you've got to get to the end of the preg and then the sleepless-baby time after. Seriously, seriously, whatever the unaware people think, do what you need to for the baby and yoruself for the long term. Glad your husband is so helpful though, it really helps doesnt it?

living pleased to hear its going well(is), or as well as it can. The floppy baby thing, I had some similar sleeping tabs and they got the specialist kinderarts in when he was born just to check, but he came out absolutely fine, in fact could not have been better. You know what they're like here, neurotically obsessed with the baby, to hell with the mother's health :p

kalidasa, about London specialists

This prof at St Thomas's is a specialist in HG and seems to be considered very good:

Email: [email protected]
Secretary tel: 020 7188 7905

Prof Cathering Nelson-Piercy

hey all.

re: other people

it is super hard to understand what HG feels like if you've not had it...
TBH my baby is 8 weeks old today and I can't really remember how horrendous I felt for 9 months! how crazy is that. Nature's way to make you do it again...that tricky cowbag.

my mother didn't get it at all until I spent time with her..and she noticed I was vomiting every hour or so, and after I drank water, and after any mention of the frying pan
only then she kind of understood.

keep a diary, cross off the days, time passes and every day is different. love to you all

Thanks Meerka it's so difficult to be taking it easy when I just want to be up and doing. I should be finishing a college course in July but haven't done any coursework for about 2 months so I'm not going to finish on time. Tutor says I could get an extension but I don't know when this will end so I know I probably will have to give up

My husband is a star