Really hate this pregnancy

[ThePrisonerOfAzkaban]

So sick of it all, I just want it all to go away now.
So far I've had
2 threatened miscarriages
5 week long stays in hospital for hypermesis
Sever itching thinking that it maybe to do with my liver function
issues with work ie bulling and lack of health and safety
have to sell my beloved horse

and now too top it all off I keep on passing myself, so far 4 times this evening and I don't even have to move, it's not a little bit either.

So fed up of it all

Understandable prisoner I'm glad you have had it changed.

Would some form of counselling help if you have previous da and struggle to trust?

I would suggest (based on nothin but instinct) just try each day to share something you are feeling with DH - a wish, a concern, a dream, anything really. Try and put in place plans for your labour and the first few weeks which are going to protect you. E.g. How do you intend to feed baby and how can DH be part of that, what sort of visiting are you happy with etc.

Pregnancy is a huge loss of control and getting some of that back can really help.

As for your bladder infection, I'm glad that has been diagnosed and presumably treated - I think if your physical symptoms abate slightly it will help you to deal with the rest.

You can't get sacked for going off sick - and I believe that once you have had your April and May pay, you have qualified for maternity. Consider going on sick leave for May if you get full pay, June onwards if not. I. Sure your doctors will sign you off.

As for the horse - if this is PFB you have no idea how the next few years will pan out. Some babies are very very easy, and if you have an easy birth you could be back riding within a month. Pregnancy is not the time to make life changing decisions, and I assume you have only been trying to find a share for the past 16/20 weeks? Give this one some time, figure out a way to get through the next 26 ish weeks, and go from there.

I really hope things are looking brighter - keep posting for sympathy and advice if needed, you will find it here.

Congratulations on baby - you will look back and realise it was all worth it (so much so you will probably do it all again!) x

Sorry meant to say the work thing is only if they expect you to come back, the suspension is fantastic and actually is completely appropriate if they can't make work safe for you.

Sorry for typos, I've had about 3 hours sleep!

You really are having a difficult time which I understand but better to have two threatened MCs than one actual MC.

I hope they're testing you for obstetric cholastisis as that itching can be a sign that you already are suffering from it.

prisoner ...

I hope you can sort something out with your horse, he sounds lovely. And that the Goddess of Pregnancy gives you a break soon!!

Oh prisoner have they continued to mess you around at work? You may need to treat them as you would an ignorant doctor about hg, take the law as shown on the relevant govt website and demand support. And if you can bear it get an appointment at Citizens Advice about what to do legally.

And get signed off for the remainder of the pregnancy. Did you get medication for the hg? I can't remember.

So feel for you about your poor horse. Trying to rehome a beloved pet is heartbreaking and doubly so when we are full of hormones and sickness.

And get to gp and or mw as soon as possible about the infection. It is all treatable. And do not worry about taking medication if that is what is needed. It will be much safer for both you and the baby.

To all those making unhelpful comments - she is clearly in huge amounts of distress and cutting her a bit of slack would be the kinder thing to do. We sometimes don't write clearly when we are this upset and ill and from her original post the op clearly wants the baby, just not the pregnancy related bit. She is perfectly justified in feeling this way.

I have had a mc and a threatened mc with this current one and both are equally horrendous, just in different ways. It has been almost impossible for me to relate to the baby with all the problems there have been and I have hated being pregnant. Not all of us launch into instant maternal mode and really struggle with it.

Non scented for you.

Although I resented the pregnancy I truly love my baby and would advise going to see a gp totaly agree with ehriclovesthebhrothers it took us 18 months to concieve again I would do nething to be pregnant

Hi prisoner, re the horse situation. I had to rehome my horse when I was pregnant due to finances/time/energy. And I'm so glad I did because I couldn't have coped with the extra responsibility, esp in the early days. Saying that, I do miss having something that is just for me but I guess I'll get back into it at some stage in the future. If you're having problems rehoming him have a look at www.horses4homes.net A very responsible way of rehoming a horse where lots of checks are done into potential homes. That said its for rehoming or long term loaning rather than selling horses. But maybe a good way of finding him a home where you can be confident he'll be looked after which may make it easier for you to deal with. Hope all goes well for you.

Just another thought regarding the horse. I assume with his value he is a competition horse and gets bored doing nothing so grass livery and a break don't suit him? Can you find a semi-professional to take him on on loan? Perhaps someone who is a working pupil and can't afford their own horse, or a young rider looking for more riders to make a name for themselves, or an experienced amateur who's competition horse is currently out of work and they want something to have fun with over the summer?

I hated being pregnant (hate it this time round as well) but as soon as DD was born I felt young, energetic, athletic and just totally happy, despite the CS (the CS was a walk in the park compared with the pregnancy). I was back riding at 7 weeks and competing at 6 months, so time can fly by once the baby arrives.

I tried finding him loan home as soon as we started for a baby so over a year now. The main thing holding him back is his height he's not quite big enough for serious competition horse so tends to get over looked or you get the teenage crowd, but he's not an easy horse to handle (rescue) but a dream to ride. Had him up on BD and BE sites and got so many calls, however I don't want him going hours and hours away. No one
really suitable that was local-ish. He's on competition/sales livery with a top eventer at the moment but that is costing an arm and a leg.
Then dp wants another baby straight away (I'm currently not keen though) then he needs to set up his own business, so money will be getting tighter and time for a handful of a wonderful horse with 2-3 children doesn't seem to work. If only he would happy in the paddock :(

Hmmm a tricky one then. I really would contact Rebecca at horses4homes even if just for advice. There maybe a 'loan with possible sale' option if that's what you need long term. It would mean more exposure for his advert anyway. Where are you? I might have some more ideas of contacts.

I've got no worries about him not being sold, just that I wish that I didn't have to do. Don't want to go down the lwvtb route as been done with that before, plus if they go out and don't get good scores on his current pro it will decrease his value. Where as if he loaned he would still be out competing with the cure pro who's riding him now, only every now and then but I could still have control over that, as in return I was happy to pay for a lesson every week for them.

It sounds like you may have a choice between two evils with the horse: do you prefer to sell him outright, or loan him anywhere in the country where it may be a hassle to visit? There is a good market for children's serious competition ponies and I am sure if you let him go anywhere geographically it could work out but you'd have to compromise on that and the loaners would probably want to work with their own trainer.