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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Really hate this pregnancy

64 replies

ThePrisonerOfAzkaban · 25/04/2014 21:05

So sick of it all, I just want it all to go away now.
So far I've had
2 threatened miscarriages
5 week long stays in hospital for hypermesis
Sever itching thinking that it maybe to do with my liver function
issues with work ie bulling and lack of health and safety
have to sell my beloved horse

and now too top it all off I keep on passing myself, so far 4 times this evening and I don't even have to move, it's not a little bit either.

So fed up of it all

OP posts:
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LEMmingaround · 26/04/2014 19:27

Ella - that isn't helping. I hope that the op is ok, she sounds very distressed.

makeminea6x · 26/04/2014 19:28

Ignore the judging, you're obviously having a rough time. You have been really brave to be si honest about how you are feeling. Just wanted to encourage you to keep going, you're half way now.

I agree with pp that you should see your GP ASAP, it's not normal to feel this low and they can offer you support. Is there anyone you can talk to in RL?

Please don't keep feeling this way alone, get some help.

EllaBella220 · 26/04/2014 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

victoriaspongecake · 26/04/2014 19:37

you sound delightful.poor baby.

Tigsy · 26/04/2014 19:40

I feel for you in that it sounds like you're having a really rough time.

I do agree though that it would be a good idea to reword your post title- even if you don't mean it, it comes across quite insensitive particuarly when there are women on these boards desperate to have a baby. I know you are suffering but it isn't your baby's fault.

It sounds like you need some help and I really hope you get it asap.

StealthPolarBear · 26/04/2014 19:41

She's ranting and with good cause.
Agree, itcing and wetting - you need checking out. hope you're OK

starlight1234 · 26/04/2014 19:43

I remember been sick all the way through and people saying only a couple of months to go...No one would say it is ok to be sick for months on end except to a pregnant woman...You have my sympathies...Some pregnancies are very tough and yours sounds like one of them

Big hugs to you..It does sound like you could do with some RL help ..Another 20 weeks to feel this way is an awful long time .

Thanks Hope things improve for you

littleducks · 26/04/2014 19:49

I had pregnancies with HG. Spent ages in hospital on a drip, I felt pretty resentful of the baby tbh.

It was so much better once the babies arrived!

Superworm · 26/04/2014 20:00

Hang it there op. Pregnancy is really tough for some people. Mine was pretty shit. MS for 8 months, antenatal depression for a while, other physical problems. It was very tough but a distant memory now DS is two.

I'm still envious of all those that sail through it. Finding out the gender helped me bond with him. The pregnancy was not what I was expecting at all but worth it x a million.

Kendodd · 26/04/2014 20:06

Do you want the baby?

Worried22 · 26/04/2014 20:22

I think it's a horrible title. I'm going through a really shit time, throwing up, itching, depression and an ex telling me to abort, but I would never say I 'fucking hate this baby'. I hate the situation though.

MildDrPepperAddiction · 26/04/2014 20:31

I think you need to speak to your doctor/midwife. You need to be distinct as to whether you hate pregnancy or your baby. If you hate your baby you need to get help for both your sakes.

ScarlettDarling · 26/04/2014 20:41

I actually found your post , especially the title, really shocking . I appreciate that you are having a tough time, being pregnant can be yuck at times, but to say that you HATE the baby is such a strong thing to say. I think you should consider talking to your midwife about how you are feeling. Good luck and i hope things improve for you .

LuckyAugust · 26/04/2014 21:58

I agree its a horrid title and very upsetting to read- especially if you're struggling to get pregnant or in our case have recently lost a baby. Pregnancy isn't always an easy ride but at the end of it you get the most amazing gift. I would also suggest asking MN to edit the title

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 26/04/2014 22:24

But by the time it is 2 she will be the most important person in your world.

Promise.

I am constantly staggered by how much I love a dd I resented for some while when pregnant.

Coconutty · 26/04/2014 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoominAndMiniMoom · 27/04/2014 06:22

Ignore those who say your title is hurtful to others. I found it hurtful, when dealing with an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy, that people were telling me to be grateful as some women would've done anything to be pregnant. At that moment in time, I would've done anything NOT to be pregnant (abortion wasn't an option). Why it's fine to voice one but not the other is beyond me; if people don't like the title, they should probably (for their own sake) scroll past rather than clicking on it.

Anyway, your baby is worth it. Trust me. I hated DD for so long - I blamed her for everything; I thought she'd ruined my life, ruined my relationship with my parents, ruined my body. I was sick of being sick, sick of being in pain, not sleeping, having horrendous nightmares, so lonely and low and verged on suicidal a couple of times, which is why I think if you truly feel like you hate your baby, speak to your midwife or GP as soon as possible - the feeling is understandable but it isn't normal and you should seek help as soon as you can.

But now, DD is the centre of my universe. I adore her more than anything; I'd die for her and I'd kill anyone who tried to harm her. I could've written your post 20 weeks ago... she's now 3 weeks old and I feel a million miles away from that person I was before. Hormones, sleep deprivation and sickness have a lot to answer for.

Thanks please talk to someone in RL who can help.

bubblebabeuk · 27/04/2014 06:30

Just woke up so onky focusing on medical side (my emoathy, caring etc requires considerably more caffine to function so appologies for that) with reference to the urinary incontinence, are you experiencing it after fully voiding your bladder, my concern is whether your waters may have started leaking, a high end leak would classically be lost in small gushes, your bump visually might not reduces much. Does the fluid your loosing look and most importantly smell like urine? Or does it look slightly pinkish and smell sweet. Either way I would request you came in for a check up. Right off to down coffee now hope you are okay OP you sound worryingly down.

Meerka · 27/04/2014 06:41

azka I am so sorry to hear it's got so bad. Please do ask for help. This situation you're in, it's not right. And honestly, come and post on teh HG thread again if you feel you would like to, we're a friendly supportive bunch.

For what it's worth, I understand your feelings very well about the baby. Have gone from trying for 5 1/2 years for this much-wanted baby through a horrible preg and now my feelings for it have gone. I just can't endure it any more, to the point of emergency admission and treatment and support. It's too late to terminate though.

I'm sorry for people who want a baby badly but please be aware that sometimes when you get what you wish for, it's a shit shit load worse than you think.

Please don't judge azka til you've walked a mile in her moccasins. you don't know what it's like for her, only for yourself.

Booboostoo · 27/04/2014 07:23

Is there anyone who can help in RL azkaban? A more sympathetic GP or a specialist? Could your partner come with you to the appointment to press for more help?

HG can be so bad that women do consider terminating previously wanted pregnancies, it's a very serious condition. Do come back to the HG thread there are some very experienced people on there who can maybe help with medication suggestions?

I have awful itching as well, I wonder if it's related to the HG. Have you had any liver function tests?

slithytove · 27/04/2014 07:41

My daughter died during labour... I wonder if you would prefer that based on your title? I would imagine not.

Agree that a change of title might benefit you.

As for your post, I think it's pretty normal to 'hate' a difficult pregancy. Agree that speaking to a HCP is going to be best - have you had your 20 be week scan yet?

HG is absolutely crap and I have sympathy for you there, as for the OC (which I assumed you weren't diagnosed with?) I have no experience of that but hopefully all of these negatives are coming to an end now?

As for the peeing, that isn't normal and definitely worth a medical opinion. I know with the odd sneeze/cough/laugh in later pregnancy I was prone to a quick leak, but nothing like what you describe. Hopefully it can be sorted, and in the meantime lots of pads.

Maybe this will offer some advice www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/symptoms-and-solutions/urinary-incontinence.aspx

I think from your extreme title you are at severe risk for PND? Babies are lovely but some (not all) can be hard work, and I would hate to think that this hatred (if genuine) carries on once he/she is born and not sleeping/feeding/behaving as you expect.

I would take this time to set up a really good support system if you can, learn what to expect (but whatever you read, it's not all bad! And a supportive partner is worth their weight in gold), and try and come up with some coping strategies when your feelings are this extreme.

I get that you are posting online things you perhaps wouldn't say in real life, but that doesn't make them any less worrying, and need to be addressed.

I'm also 20 weeks with my third with a scan on Tuesday. Pm me if you want to talk or for anything really.

I hope things get better x

slithytove · 27/04/2014 07:47

Oh and as for your work, I had very similar problems. Put in a written complaint with all of your issues (bullying, incorrect / not done risk assessments etc) and when they fuck that up, put in a grievance. In the meantime, if you haven't already, get a sick note, and if you deem your workplace to be unsafe (and not possible to be made safe), request a risk assessment and then off that basis request to be suspended on medical grounds. (full pay) it sounds like a lot of faff but it's actually not too bad and ACAS will be very helpful. If you don't have work to worry about it will help.

Meerka · 27/04/2014 07:59

slithy ... her work are awful, basically she'd be fired. and she's not in a position due to her circumstances to take action over it. here

slithytove · 27/04/2014 09:29

Ok, I would still speak to ACAS though and see where she stands legally. No job is worth putting her health or that of her baby at risk.

Start with ACAS and if it goes nowhere then no one knows. I agree it's a very difficult position though being privately employed.

Original poster
ThePrisonerOfAzkaban · 27/04/2014 11:31

Sorry if the title upset anyone, I was at breaking point when I wrote it, didn't mean to offend anyone.

My dp is wonderful but I do need to learn that he is here for me, something that I just can't my head around as my previous relationship was very abuse. I do tend to hide my feelings from him and go very much into myself.

Baby is very much wanted ans loved, I was having a total crisis and just struggling to deal with everything going on.

I was taken to hospital yesterday after seeing the out of hours doctor, baby is lying in an awkward position that means my bladder splinter can't close, plus I've got an infection too.

I've tried everything with my horse loaning/sharing/grass livery. All to be let down by people and ending up with vet bills. He's worth a lot of money think a good house deposit so I am very careful with him. But he's not happy out of work and for the next 2-3 years I can't give him a lot of time. So its the best thing for him if not for me. :(

Work got in touch yesterday and have spended my on full pay as they aren't willing to do double ups, I've got to do a bit of cleaning and cooking twice a week and do a bit of driving as the other carers aren't insured on the van.

Fingers crossed it can only get better, now if only I can keep food down.....

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