If your MIL said this to you, how would you react?

[StarsInTheNightSky]

"As soon as he's born I'll want to see him a lot, and you'll have to hand him straight over to me. I get very possessive and I'm not going to like seing you holding him, I want to be the one feeding and cuddling him."

So, how would you react to this?
A bit of background, it wasn't said in jest or even in a humourous way, but very seriously and firmly to me, as if I were a naughty child being given a talking to. I'm 33 weeks pregnant, will be having an ELCS at 39 weeks and will be formula feeding (physically can't bf). To add some context, MIL sees another family baby 3-4 times per week and always thinks that isn't often enough.

DH and I are private people, and although this will be our first DC, we've had losses before and we want some time to ourselves to enjoy our family unit when our baby arrives. We had told family that we will have no visitors for the first two - three weeks (and no visitors at hospital) and they all seemed to accept this happily, which I was a bit suspicious about as I didn't think it would be a popular decision. Then I get this from MIL.

In response, I laughed and acted as if she'd been joking, I said firmly "good luck with that as DH and I are very possessive too!". DH then explained very firmly that she wasn't so much as to try to touch our baby without my permission, and that all contact etc would be strictly on our terms. MIL seemed to back down and agreed, but I'm a bit .

We (DH and I) usually have a good relationship with MIL, however she has tried unsucessfully to throw her weight around in the past and bully DH and/or I, and for the first few years of us being together she was a nightmare and really resented me for taking DH away from her. Not sure why as he is the complete opposite of a mummy's boy and their relationship was already on very rocky ground before I came into his life.
Her starring moment was when, two days after I'd had a terrible accident and was paraplegic and critically ill in hospital, she phoned my parents and told them that she "didn't want any son of hers saddled with a cripple for life" and that they should make me leave DH as it it would look bad on her to have a cripple for a daughter in law.
This was after she'd spoken to DH and tried to get him to leave me as I was apparently "good for nothing now". She was told where to go in no uncertain terms by DH, who refused to have anything more to do with her after that, and my parents (who had a recording device on their telephone as they'd been getting a lot of harrassment calls, so they played DH and I the tape of her phonecall.) I have since learnt to walk again, despite being told I'd be paraplegic for life, but it look a long long time, and DH was my carer and my absolute rock through it all.
DH still hasn't forgiven her, but as time went by I tried to patch things up so that we were all on good (ish) terms as it's just easier and nicer all round, and I am usually a forgiving person. Things have generally been pretty pleasant since. This was on the strict condition that if she ever put a toe out of line again, then we go non contact for good.

Sorry, that was longer that I thought it would be! Didn't want to drip feed though. So back to the original question, how would you feel about that? I feel pretty affronted but also feel that it was a really surreal and weird thing to say, and for some reason I can't get it out of my head, so I guess I'm just trying to get my mind around it.

Ithoughtofitfirst - did you read all the thread? I know Star says in her OP that is all as she doesn't want to drip feed but there is so much more.

Her MIL goes way beyond interfering. She is mentally ill. I know you shouldn't diagnose over the Internet and we only have the OP's side of the story but even if half of what she says is true, the MIL is beyond reverse psychology and a bit of artful manipulation.

I would have cut all contact forever after her disgusting comments to your parents after your accident. That was unforgivable.

From what you have said, it sounds like she is an alcoholic. She won't improve until she is sober.
At first I thought, just laugh it off but be firm. Reading more of your posts, I'm afraid I have to agree with others who say no contact is the way to go. You have to make sure your child is safe. As it is your DH who is related to her, I think he has the right to make the decision here. He has known her far longer and has more experience of dealing with her. If he wants out, then that is his choice. He may regret it in the future, but then he can reach out to her again. I admire you for wanting to keep contact open, but honestly your childs safety is the paramount importance and she doesn't sound like a safe person to have around.

I've just read the fist paragraph with my mouth hanging open! stars tell her to fuck right off!

I'd be furious with this (let alone the other comments which are beyond belief) I think she should consider herself very lucky to have a continuing relationship with you at all.

I found it unbearable to hand her over my first born for any length of time (newborn stage) let anyone else feed her, I am more relaxed with my second and far less anxious. But hormones/anxiety and sleep deprivation certainly makes me a possessive and protective mumma!

It's entirely your choice about the three weeks of alone time with baby, only thing is you will undoubtedly be so delighted with your little one, that you might want to show him off and share the experience with your loved ones. Family members might also be willing to help out in those tough early days....but there's no harm visits being on your terms.

Ignore your MiL nonsense and leave it to hubs to stand up to her IMO.