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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Delayed mc- what option did you chose and why?

69 replies

Tigerstar123 · 14/03/2014 17:34

Hi ladies.

Last night I posted that I was bleeding at just under 12 weeks.
Today I was sent to EPU for a scan. I was told-and shown-that my sac was empty :-(( they explained I've had a delayed mc, so technically still pg...
I have been sent away to consider my options:
1 natural waiting to pass tissue
2 tablets
3 surgery

Just wondered what you chose to do and why?

I've looked on Internet (not always a good thing- but checked nct and miscarriage assoc) and found pros and cons with all. Think we've ruled out natural loss, but can't decide on 2 or 3.

Thanks in advance. Xxx

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VeryStressedMum · 15/03/2014 19:15

I'm so sorry.
When I found out they didn't give me any options they just booked me in for surgery a few days later and said don't come in if it happens naturally, but it didn't so I had the surgery.
The second time, they booked me in for surgery a few days later but it happened naturally the next day.
I wasn't posted the tablet either time.
Looking back, the surgery wasn't pleasant but better than when it happened naturally. It took most of the day, it was much more painful than I thought it would be and I had to pass it. It was quite traumatic, but nowhere near what poor stars went through, that is just so sad and awful I'm so sorry.

OurMiracle1106 · 15/03/2014 19:19

I was given only two options as my baby had died 6 weeks before with my first mmc. I chose the tablets and for me it was horrendous emotionally and painful physically. With my second mmc I had the surgery which was much less emotionally hard and I felt fine with just some bleeding after wards.

However everyone is different and you need to do what's best for you. I did go on to have a healthy son

Hugs

willitbe · 15/03/2014 20:34

I have had all three methods for MMC.

The one I really would not do again is the tablets etc.

I personally prefer to let nature take its course, but I have been fortunate in that this has always happened within a few days of having the mmc confirmed.

Having said that my most recent one 11w3d measuring 9w, ended up with me bleeding so heavily that it ended up being an emergency ERPC.

My previous ERPC that was planned was easier mentally I think. But always with an ERPC I am worried about the scarring causing damage that would hinder later conceptions.

The choice is a personal one. In terms of work perhaps a planned ERPC would be best.

So sorry you are going through this.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 16/03/2014 05:55

Sorry this is happening to you.

I went to support a friend with option 2 last week after no heartbeat at the 12 week scan. The pain was manageable. She was in a private room and had to use a commode, the nurses would come and check the clots etc. It did take a long time, I think we were there before 8am and it was after 8 when she could go home. If you go for this option, take support and entertainment. She slept a little, but we mostly chatted or watched telly on my ipad. I also took a flask of tea and some snacks to ensure we were able to eat. AFAIK she doesn't regret the choice.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 16/03/2014 05:56

PS, I would say that she couldn't really have gone in to work the following day.

Original poster

Tigerstar123 · 17/03/2014 22:11

Just a really quick update ladies...

After all your experiences and advice, we decided to for surgery. But we had to wait until Mon for epu to open.

On Sunday though, I started to lose blood, I was losing clots and an awful lot of blood. Was bringing up bile and nearly passing out.

Was advised to attend at A and E-they were great. I had lost a lot of blood, but luckily didn't need transfusion. Needed drips for dehydration and had become anaemic. I stayed in and had scan today. I still have tissue inside.

Now booked in for surgery on Thursday.

Never been so frightened in a long time with what happened. Hopefully though I'm on the mend, esp after they sort me on Thursday.

Thanks again everyone for your support and advice. Hope you're all good :-) xxx

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lotsofcheese · 17/03/2014 23:19

Tiger, that sounds a very frightening experience. I hope the surgery on Thursday goes well; will be thinking of you, xxx

AveryJessup · 18/03/2014 04:22

Sorry to hear you had to go through that, Tiger. Sounds similar to my experience of natural mc. It is very frightening and confusing too because the HCPs spoke to me as if having a natural mc at home was no big deal so it was terrifying to end up in A & E. I thought I was going to die the pain was so bad!

It is just the luck of the draw so there's no telling how things work out once you are on the MMC path. I hope you are getting good care and are with sympathetic people who can let you recover in your own time. Good luck with the surgery on Thursday.

It's horrible but stick with MN and you 'll get great support. One of the main reasons I'm still loyal to the site, despite some if the crazier threads at times(!), is the great advice I got on here when I had my MMC.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 18/03/2014 05:10

Poor you Tigerstar, sounds horrible. Hope Thursday goes smoothly.

hubbahubster · 18/03/2014 12:22

Be kind to yourselves, Tigerstar. DH and I both had a week off when I had my MMC, both our employers were amazing that way and I couldn't have done the week on my own – I'd have just cried and gone crazy. So don't be afraid to say you both need time to heal together. I can see how this experience could destroy some relationships, but it can also make them stronger.

I'll be thinking of you on Thurs.

Original poster

Tigerstar123 · 19/03/2014 23:42

Thank you all for all your kind words. Avery I've found being on here invaluable-so much good advice and kind words have helped me. Especially when I've not had any friends go thru this type of experience. hubba my husband has just told work that he is supporting me and not coming in. He's been a rock for me :-)

Am just now having my last big drink of milk before the enforced starvation starts. Told my husband to take his breakfast in another room tomorrow morning!

See you all on the other side. Night night. Xxx

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IdaClair · 20/03/2014 00:06

I am sorry for your loss and hope all goes well on Thursday.

For my first at 15 weeks, baby 13w6d, I waited for natural mc, which came 18 days later and was unfortunately a full labour without the pushing, I had the baby at home on my own, nhs advice was to take a paracetamol.

My second mc was later, but I did not want to wait again. Baby was too big for erpc, and tablets the regular way, so that was induction of labour on labour ward with babies howling around us....in and out in six hours though.

Good luck to all in the future (btw I have two lovely children now)

willitbe · 20/03/2014 10:21

Tigerstar - thinking of you, hope the fasting is not too much of a struggle, and that you are given plenty of support and care today.

hubbahubster · 20/03/2014 14:54

StarsInTheNightSky · 20/03/2014 19:38

Thinking of you and hoping that you're as ok as can be xxx

Original poster

Tigerstar123 · 23/03/2014 11:00

Hello all.

I had the surgery on Thursday- all seems to have gone well :-) although I was a blubbering wreck when I was wheeled down to theatre! Ended up crying even before anaesthetist had touched me. He was lovely and allowed me to have gas and air- good practice for the real thing- fingers crossed!

I've ended up though with terrible headaches, hospital have put this down to hormones and stress. Hope they go soon- they are agony.

Just wanted to say thanks again to all of you for your support in this time. Xxx

OP posts:

StarsInTheNightSky · 23/03/2014 17:45

Tigerstar it's really good to hear from you, thanks for updating. I'm really glad the surgery went as well as possible and that the anaesthetist was really nice.

Not sure if it helps but I had terrible headaches for a week or so after, our GP said it is very normal and a good sign that your body is winding down all the hormones etc. I also started feeling a bit better mentally once all the physical symptoms were over and done with.

Take care of yourself, and give yourself as much time and space as you need xxx.

hubbahubster · 23/03/2014 19:27

I blubbed on the way down to theatre too, tiger - but I did feel much less hormonal afterwards which helped me cope. It took 4 months for my periods to come back and after the first one I got pregnant right away and had my lovely DS, so although it felt like my body didn't go back to normal for ages, actually it wasn't that long at all.

We booked a city break while I was recovering, drank lots and relaxed before thinking about TTC again. I'd heartily recommend you do the same :) good luck!

Original poster

Tigerstar123 · 24/03/2014 20:20

Thank you again ladies.
Can't wait for these headaches to go. Think they are linked to my emotional feelings too.
Glad to know I'm not the only one who cried to theatre! I felt a right silly mare lol!
Good thinking about the city break. Won't take too much to convince hubby I'm sure :-)
Xxx

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