Delayed mc- what option did you chose and why?

[Tigerstar123]

Hi ladies.

Last night I posted that I was bleeding at just under 12 weeks.
Today I was sent to EPU for a scan. I was told-and shown-that my sac was empty :-(( they explained I've had a delayed mc, so technically still pg...
I have been sent away to consider my options:
1 natural waiting to pass tissue
2 tablets
3 surgery

Just wondered what you chose to do and why?

I've looked on Internet (not always a good thing- but checked nct and miscarriage assoc) and found pros and cons with all. Think we've ruled out natural loss, but can't decide on 2 or 3.

Thanks in advance. Xxx

Tigerstar really sorry to hear your news. I read you thread last night and was so hoping for a good outcome.

I wasn't given the option of medical management with my blighted ovum MC (empty sac), just surgery or wait and see.

I opted for the former and as others have said it was very straightforward. I went down to theatre at 9am and by midday was having a McDonalds. I didn't have any adverse effects and woke up after the GA feeling strangely calm.

Will be thinking of you. Be kind to yourself.

I've also gone on to have a successful pregnancy afterwards.

I personally went for tablets, despite being traumatic the physical side of things was fairly quick, and only some quite short lived pain.

I just couldn't wait for it to happen naturally as were we told it could take 6 weeks.

Mine had already died at 8 weeks, but I found out at 13 weeks, so I wanted to speed things along knowing it wasn't moving anywhere on its own.

They gave me a tablet 2 days before, then I was admitted and given a pessary and 4 hours later I was discharged. My GP advised against surgery, saying there could be potential long term effects and the tablet worked perfectly well.

So sorry about your loss

I have had three miscarriages two of which were mmc. The first they offered me an ERPC and didn't suggest tablets. The second time they gave me tablets and I went home and took them. Nothing happened for 48 hours during which I was an absolute wreck waiting for it all to start. I went back it the hospital after 48 hours and they offered me an ERPC which I took. For me I preferred knowing that it would all be sorted, physically at least, when I woke up.

Btw I also have three beautiful daughters so please stay positive for the future.

So sorry

I have had 2 spontaneous losses and a MMC which was treated as a partial molar. I had an ERPC for the MMC as they suspected something was 'different' in the sac and wanted to test materials (they always test and this can bring closure and answers- e.g. 'it was a one off genetic problem, won't happen again' - worth bearing in mind). Lucky they did. I fainted a month later and my HCG was still up - consultant chased the results - I needed monitoring by weekly blood tests for several months to ensure it didn't re-grow (this was to do with the rare condition NOT the ERPC) - luckily my body rejected the rogue cells by itself shortly after their discovery (otherwise I'd have needed chemo).
My case, however, is like 1/6000 rare.

But the tests they do may give closure (and in the 5999/6000 cases, it's purely closure telling them it was a random loss and they are safe to try again), and for me are an advantage of ERPC ops.

I am now pregnant again. So far, scans have been good. :)

I'm sorry that you are going through this.

I chose option 1. I had a second scan confirming no development on the Thursday and started "project eviction" (strong coffee, strenuous exercise - anything you are not supposed to do when pregnant) at the weekend. I have no idea if anything I did made any difference, but I started bleeding lightly on the Monday and miscarried on Wednesday/Thursday and the pain and bleeding started to ease after that. I had mentally set myself a 2 week limit to do it naturally before having an ERPC though, and I wanted closure.

I found the miscarriage board on here (under Body and Soul) a great source of information and support when I went through it.

I'm really sorry you are going through this Tiger

I had a delayed miscarriage (it was a blighted ovum / empty sac) in February. I had two scans a week apart at one hospital to confirm it, then left a further week to see if nature would take its course before going to my GP to ask for a referral to my local hospital for intervention, as I felt I couldn't wait any more.

I chose option 2 because I really really didn't want to have GA (really hate the way it makes me feel afterwards) and my local hospital didn't do the surgery under local option which some places offer (although I knew the prospect of being awake for the procedure would be truly awful). However, I had a premature birth with my DS which was preceded by a lot of bleeding and passing of large clots, so that side of it didn't worry me. I was worried about the pain, but actually I didn't have a lot of pain in the end.

I was given the pessary tablets, plus a suppository painkiller at 5pm, and left for it all to take effect for an hour. After an hour and a half I was discharged to miscarry at home. I was a bit shivery/twitchy by this point, but not in any real pain. The medication really started to take effect around 9pm when I began to pass tissue. I had some mild cramping but nothing too severe. I had been discharged with co-codamol which I took mainly in order to allow me to get some sleep rather than being in serious pain. I spent quite a bit of time on the toilet, but managed a few stints of 3 hours sleep. By 5am I felt like I had probably passed most material (I had passed a lot of tissue and lost quite a lot of blood, and things were calming down). At this point I had a few near blackouts, so I had to stay in bed for a while.

I took the following day (friday) off work, and had to take care for the next couple of days as I felt very faint every time I stood up. By Monday (4 days after the procedure) I was feeling pretty normal. The bleeding settled right down after that (from period type heaviness to more bloody/brown discharge), and as of the start if this week, everything seems clear.

I have to say, had I not had an empty sac, i.e. if I had known there was a foetus, I don't know if I could have coped with the medical / natural option, and would probably have opted for surgery.

I was also worried about the medical management being incomplete and having to have surgery anyway, but thankfully I had my follow up scan this morning and all is clear. The consultant even showed me that my ovary is getting ready to release an egg, so should I wish to, it seems everything is back to functioning as normal (although I feel I want to wait a bit longer - it was horrible feeling pregnant without really being pregnant, and I think I need a bit of time to get over that)

Hope that is helpful?

So sorry for your loss. With my first miscarriage it happened while I was still deciding. I ended up in a and e, heamorraging and in agony. I didn't want to repeat the experience so chose surgery for my 2nd miscarriage which was physically so much better.

I've had two missed miscarriages, and 4 healthy pregnancies.

I think I would recommend the D&C. When I had the meds they took ages to work, the hospital care was not good, and I was told it had all passed when I knew fine it hadn't. Consequently I miscarried at home - which wasn't terrible - but the general care was and that has left it's mark.

I had the op under gas and air. I think it was just called an evac rather than D&C. It was upsetting, but quick and I recovered quickly to go home well to my family.

I am sorry, it is hard, but hopefully in the long run you will have a baby.

I chose natural when this happened to me in my first pregnancy and it was really horrible. Don't want to scare you but the pain was unbelievable, never imagined it would get that bad. If it ever happens to me again (hoping it wont as am currently 6 weeks pregnant...!) I am definitely going for surgery. No idea whether it is bad or good but it can't possibly be worse than what natural mc was like for me. Also if you go the natural route and there are any retained products of conception then you may have to go the surgical route anyway to ensure your uterus is completely clear.

Sorry for your loss too . It is a horrible shock to get especially when you were so close to the 12 week threshold. I was the same, just a few days from my 12 week scan but the embryo had stopped developing at 9 weeks. It's a very confusing, upsetting experience. Wishing you a lot of support and kindness to get through this.

Oh and after that first MMC, I got pregnant about 3 months later with my DS, currently 2 years old. So there is hope after MMC! It can just be bad luck and doesn't have to mean that there is anything wrong.

I've just finished going through a mc. Was told 2 weeks ago the heartbeat was slow, and 2 days after that I started with cramps, which I now believe to be contractions. 3 days after the scan the contractions got worst and were really painful (I think this was when the heartbeat stopped).

Last week I went back for another scan which showed no heartbeat. 4 days later I went in for the tablets. I'm petrified of needles so didn't want it surgically removed ( although found out I needed bloods taken for the tablets so was lose lose in the needle department). I googled about the tablets the night before and ppl were saying it was like a mini labour and really painful so I was very scared. Anyway it didn't work. I got passed the scared feeling and just wanted it over. I went back 3 days ago and the scan showed I still hadn't miscarried but had moved downwards. I had an examination to swab for infection below due to my blood passing was starting to smell bad, and they actually saw it so they removed it there and then.

I think the reason why I didn't have any pain at this stage was because I think the contractions I had 2 weeks ago was the sac removing itself.

Most ppl I spoke to suggested the d&c as it's over quicker and your guaranteed it to work, but I'm extremely squeamish and the thought of any surgery ect put me off. I would rather stay home sick and wait for the tablets to wrk. If you do chose the tablets though please don't be scared of the pain if you have googled what I did. Everyone's pain and pain threshold is different I know, but I have a very low pain threshold, and the pain I had was bad, but the pain I imagined was a 100 times worst. I didn't even take any pain relief with mine, I just waited for it to pass. Plus the extra stress is no good.

Hope it's a quick process for you so you can start to move on. And really hope you feel better soon.

Thank you all again. I'm just finding things hard to take in- but you will all know how I feel. Up at 4am- last time I saw this time on a Saturday, I was a student just getting in lol.

Thank you for the link to mc LondenJen. i tried to find a mc thread to put this on, but couldn't at the time. I was worried about posting here, as didn't want to upset/ worry anyone. Forester thank you, I'll have a read of the thread :-)

Hevava I work in govt, so as supportive as my direct management may be, they are governed by those above-quotas and all that... Hopefully they won't take issue with a sick note from the hospital.

stars your experience sounds absolutely horrific. I really feel for you. For a hospital to apologise, it sounds like they know they were in the wrong.

New job your advice is spot on. At the moment, I just feel a bit lost with myself.

Thanks again to you all. Got lots to think about today. Thank you all for sharing your experiences. Xxx

Just seen the other replies too- dont know where there were when I replied!

jollyb and katesterNI so glad to hear you had success afterwards :-) good to know that there is, for a lot of women, no understandable underlying reason for mc.

eurochick ah, that's probably why I couldn't find the mc thread. Thought it may be under pg, hence why I couldn't find. D'oh to me!

tea that is very helpful thanks. I'm with you on the issue of time to get over things. For nearly 12 weeks I've been pg, then in 2 mins with sonographer, I'm not, but really I still am. It's such an odd place to be in :-/ Never even knew this situation existed having never been through it or had any friends been through it either.

ellie sounds terrible re your 1st experience. My worry is with natural option that could happen anywhere or anytime. Don't like idea of that!

hardtothink I seem to think a lot of experience is down to how hospital treat the ladies. I think all options are upsetting, but good to know you've since had healthy pregnancies :-)

avery defo ruled out natural. Just too risky I think. It's a shock because usually you are told that nearly at 12 weeks you're over the most risky part. Plus, only had mw booking appt on Monday. So while we we're discussing birthing options, chatting about babies etc, no one knew our baby had already gone :-( in one way, we're glad we didn't get to the 12 week scan to find this out. The bleeding had already made us think things may not be quite right. I couldn't imagine the shock for those ladies who only find out at 12 weeks. Congrats on your 2 yo ickle one!

Thank you hannah. So sorry for your loss too. I too am scared of needles. Had a wobble at my mw appt when bloods taken. Maybe the surgery though might be better for me as then I'm knocked out. Think husband frightened for me as he's never had any surgery. I have, but many moons ago. Hope you feel better too soon.

You've all been a great support on here ladies so just want to send you all hugs. Xxx

No experience of this. Just awake and saw you posting so wanted to offer my sympathies. Hope you get the best of care xx

Ah thank you lyns31. Just a couple of us up not being able to sleep then! Xxx

Hello :) I have now had 4 MMC. I had the tablets for tge first one but never again. It didn't work and I ended up bleeding for 9 weeks in total. I had surgery for the other 3 - my most recent was yesterday.
I didn't wait for it to happen naturally as I was worried about the pain and trauma. Also my body doesn't seem to let go very easily and I could have been waiting for ages. I just wanted to get back to normal ASAP.
Good luck with whatever you do.
Oh and in between these mc I had a Ds who is 19 months. So lovely things do follow horrible things :)

OP, I'm so sorry you're going through this. And to everyone else who has gone through the same. I've had 2 MC - had surgery both times.

1st MC at 7 weeks, a molar pregnancy was suspected & I was advised to have surgery so they could remove all the tissue & test it. The surgery was fine, and the physical recovery quick.

2nd MMC was at 11.5 weeks, having had a good scan at 9.5 weeks. The baby died shortly afterward & I was unaware for 2 weeks. I was given the option of medical management (in hospital) or surgery. Having had surgery before, I chose it again. I felt that if my body hadn't recognised the MC for 2 weeks, I could be on for a long wait, and I didn't want a long time off work, or for it to happen at work (god forbid)

Op. So sorry for your loss.

I had my first MMC 11 years ago, 2 weeks before my wedding. I chose a D & C as I didn't want to be bleeding walking down the aisle.

I had DS almost exactly a year later.

I then had another MMC 2 years later and again opted for a D & C, as I wanted to carry on trying for another baby and to me it felt like a way to move things on faster and draw a line. Both operations were problem free and definitely the right way to go for me.

I had DD 18 months later.

Sorry for your losses too.

I seem to have started naturally, am bleeding like a period and have cramping type pains.

batteryhen aww, hugs to you. Sorry for your loss. How you feeling today? Great news on your ickle one :-)

lots of cheese thank you. Sorry to you too. I hadn't had my scan yet, was due Thursday, so didn't know until yesterday. I seem to have started naturally, but I agree with you re your body not knowing. Looks like my body didn't realise for nearly 4 weeks... Seems a bit weird too that things seem to be happening after being told?? Or maybe the internal probe has kick started things??

taffetaoh no, what an awful time to have a mc- although no time is a good time, I remember the stress associated with my wedding, so couldn't imagine dealing with both at the same time. Great news to you too on having healthy pregnancies :-) this makes us feel hopeful. We want to try again too- when physically ready. i agree with you that the surgery seems to be the drawing a line way to go. Glad it worked well.

Think I'm swaying towards the surgery option more now though. Can only ring Monday to book in though, so hope they'll do it, even though it seems to be starting on it's own.

Xxx

I feel ok today. FWIW I Started spotting and then bleeding the night before the surgery and they still went ahead with it.

Tigerstar just to add, if they offer full or local anaesthetic I would go for full. I had 2 MCs in short succession. I chose surgery in both cases as fastest and most straighforward. I wouldn't be able to bear stuff coming out of me for hours on end...

The first time I had full anaesthetic but the second time they said they had just started offering local anaesthetic, and that it would just feel "uncomfortable" rather than painful. I thought ok, as you get out much faster. But it was excrutiating. i thought they would give you the local at least a few mins beforehand so it has a chance to kick in, but they called me in, injected the anaesthetic and started the suction straight away... So I found it really painful during the few mins of the procedure and then around another 10 mins afterwards. But then it just went away, the anaesthetic must have kicked in then.

Not sure if that's how it was supposed to happen or if I was supposed to be given the anaesthetic earlier... But because of that I would probably choose full if I had to go through it again.

Glad you feel ok batteryhen thank you for reassurance that they will still do procedure when bleeding already.

silverine goodness me, your experience sounds horrific. When the nurse described the options, I don't recall (was still in shock) that she even offered a local. Sure she said it's under a general. Will re check with husband what she said. I'd defo want to be knocked out

Sorry for your loss...

I'd agree with the majority of posters who say that the ERPC is the best option. When I had a MMC (4 months before conceiving DS, now 2.5) I took that option since I'd taken the tablets for a previous loss and it was a) painful b) took ages and c) was incredibly traumatic as even at that early stage (7-ish weeks) there was way more blood (and tissue) than for a regular period. Once the tablets were inserted, I had to go through the whole thing at home - no nurses/hospital.

In contrast, the ERPC was probably worse for DH as he had to wait out the time I was in theatre, while for me I was one second awake, the next it was all over. And I felt instantly more able to cope without all the pg hormones. I had actually started bleeding quite heavily right before I went down for the op, but it still went ahead.

Hope you have great support in RL - I also found the miscarriage board here an amazing support.

I am sad to be posting on this thread but I have gained so much useful advice from the experiences of other women on here that I feel I need to add my own ...
I'm currently in the process of miscarrying after finding out 9 days ago that my baby had no heartbeat. I had gone for a private scan at 10+3 because my dh wasn't able to take time off work on the date for our 12 week scan and we wanted to both see the baby for the first time together. I had no inkling at all that anything was wrong, no bleeding or cramps, still had strong pregnancy symptoms etc but the sonographer said the pregnancy looked to be no more than 6 weeks gestation due to the size of the sac and foetus etc. Even though I was absolutely certain of my dates (we hadn't had sex since the beginning of January because I had been feeling so crap), when I phoned the hospital they said they couldn't do anything until at least 10 days after the first scan, in case my dates were wrong. Although I can understand why they have this protocol, because I was absolutely 100% confident that my dates were not that far out, I thought this was rather cruel. The hardest thing is knowing you are still pregnant but it is all for nothing. Anyway I decided that as I had not miscarried in the last 4 weeks, I was unlikely to go naturally so I had more or less resigned myself to having some sort of medical intervention after the second scan which is scheduled for next Tuesday. I took one day off work to get my head round the situation (as much as you can - you will all know what a headfuck this is!). I also started a Project Eviction like Eurochick - tons of hard exercise, hot baths etc. Then I went back to work as normal. It was the right thing to do for me, because I cope by keeping busy. There were some difficult moments at work due to the fact that nobody apart from my boss knew I was pregnant, so some off-the-cuff remarks about my unexpected day off were harsh and hard to take, and of course I couldn't really respond in the way I wanted to without revealing my pregnancy. I just said I had some gynae problems and left it at that.

Anway, on Monday last week I had some light spotting so I suspected things might be on the move. I continued to bleed fairly lightly for the rest of the week, carried on working but made sure I had tons of sanitary protection in place and basically went to the toilet every hour to check things were okay. Then on Wednesday morning I had strong cramps, had to take paracetamol & ibuprofen to take the edge off, and I passed 2 largish clots in the afternoon. Luckily this was about 5 mins before the end of work because the second one was followed by a flood of blood which soaked my pad and I only just made it to the loo in time to sort it out. Thursday was back to light bleeding, then on Thurs night I woke up in the middle of the night with really bad stomach cramps. Much worse than bad period pains but nowhere near as bad as the height of labour is how I would describe them. I went into work but warned my boss I wasn't feeling great and might need to leave in a hurry. I got through till lunchtime then called it a day. I was feeling very emotional too, not sure if this was lack of sleep or being in pain or just things catching up with me, but as soon as I got home the cramps subsided and I felt better after having a good cry. Then this morning the cramping returned for about an hour, then I felt something "give" and went to the loo - lo and behold there was the sac and all the gubbins that go with it. It was strangely beautiful and horrifying in equal measure and bigger than I had expected - I'm not a squeamish person so I had a good old poke and look at it then I flushed it away. It felt kind of cathartic even though I feel awfully sad.
I am hoping that my body has done its job and expelled everything it needs to - if not I will find out at my scan on Tuesday. If I am offered tablets or surgery I will definitely opt for surgery. The hardest thing about all of this has been the not knowing when/how it will happen and I think surgery offers "closure" if that makes sense.
Anyway Tigerstar and anyone else who is in the horrible period of knowing the pregnancy is over but not having miscarried yet, I hope you get through it with the minimum of discomfort and plenty of love and support from people close to you.