Hi N1SEXYTING -
Sorry I've not replied sooner but literally just seen this.
I think you have lare4ady been given loads of great advice so not sure what else I can say.
Perhaps I can just tell you a bit about Lottie?????
I was 30 when I fell pregnant with my DD1. She was born 4.5 years ago and has Down's syndrome.
It was a huge surprise to us all. I bonded with her straight away but was still kinda waiting for my world to crashing in around me. It never did. The support was fantastic, not just from friends and family but that was amazing. We all became closer and it bought us altogether in a really wonderful way. But the NHS support was also fantastic and I felt very lucky.
As a baby there was nothing very different about her, other than the fact that she was treated like the most precioius, amazing, wonderful baby by everyone who came into contact with her. She was such an easy baby. Never really cried, went from 11pm to 7am when she was 8 days old, it was bliss and still is. I felt sorry for people whose babies didn't have Down's syndrome!
I now have a DD2 who is 8 months old. She doesn't have DS and so far doesn't seem to have any special needs. I say that N1 becasue there are never any guarantees in life. All the parents whose children are autistic will tell you that. They didn't realise for some timethat their babies weren't quite what they seemed . Prenatal testing can only detect chomosome abnormalities. Being clear of these doesn't guarantee you a child without special needs and I think that is something to think about. There are many many mothers who use the special needs section of mumsnet and only a small handful of us have children wioth Down's syndrome.
Anyway, .... it's not always easy, it's hard work, but that's being a mum for you. Having a child with special needs has it's own special set of challenges but the rewards are second to none and you no matter what you put in it'll never compare to what you get back.
Thre are far, far worse things than having a child with Down's syndrome. I'm so, so pleased that I have Lottie in my life. Being a mum to a child with special needs has changed me and others, for the better. If I had a £1 for everytime someone has said to me 'ohhh I'd have 10 of Lottie'. She's a great kid, really great. She's also bloody hard work, cheeky, naughty, strongwilled, stubborn, hysterically funny, cute as a button, loving, and sweet. The world, or our samll chunk of it, is a better placve for Lottie being in it. And that's a fact.
Sounds like the road ahead of you is gonna be a bit bumpy, but keep in mind that whatever life throws at you, it all comes out ok in the end. I t really does.
I live in Pinner, near Harrow, Wembley, that neck of the woods and mean it most sincerely when I say that I'm here if you need me. If you want to meet up, want to chat more privatley, anything. Just ask for me on mumsnet and if I don't see it someone will let me know and I'm there. Okay?
Thinking of you. Hope you come back and chat more about stuff. Just be as open as you can be. You'll only find support here, no-one here will judge you whatever it is you end up deciding is right for you.
TC x