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Original poster

Anyone regret being honest with midwife about past drink or drugs use!?

51 replies

EmilyJane86 · 27/02/2014 19:22

I'm 9 weeks pregnant and I was very honest with my midwife about my past. I suffer from depression and anxiety and had a year or so where I started to use drink and drugs as an escape. This was around 3 years ago I have not touched drugs since and I drink on the odd occasion although have not and will not drink whilst pregnant. I am more or less free from my depression but still get anxiety. I have never needed rehab or medical treatment for drink or drugs (never injected or smoked hard drugs). My midwife is insisting I need a referral to drug and alcohol team. I disagree and feel this is a waste of time and money. She's even told me that they will have to do a drug test on me. I am shocked at this as I have been quiet open and honesty with her. I will refuse drug test out of principle but then it will look like I have something to hide.anyobe had similar alarmist

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expatinscotland · 28/02/2014 16:26

Yep, next time, keep schtum.

ToriaPumpkin · 28/02/2014 16:34

I was honest with my life insurance company about past incidences of depression and how much I drank in an average week but told them I'm not a smoker (I'm not, never have been) they made me take a test to prove it. When I queried this they said it's standard for non-smokers. When I pointed out my husband (healthy BMI, no mental health history, very low alcohol intake) hadn't been asked to take the test they had no answer. It's all box ticking.

In this pregnancy (my second) they've been much more relaxed, one MW even joked with me about my last drink being the weekend I conceived, but first time around some of the questions and repetition about not drinking, not taking drugs etc was verging on ridiculous.

Fingers crossed the drink and drugs team see the sense in not pursuing this and that you get a genetics referral soon.

peeapod · 28/02/2014 16:36

concernningthenormal.blogspot.com/2014/02/call-midwife-attitudes-havent-changed.html

thats a summary of my experiences around mental health. I completely hear you. Even on here I was accused of overreacting etc and just to get on with it. I just want to be seen as any other mum and not through the eyes of my disability. If my house is a bit messy its because we have had a sleepless night not because of any concerns.

It even annoyed me that despite the fact we are t total for religious reasons it doesnt state this on my social services referal just that no issues have been disclosed, as if we are hiding it...

it is really ugh and I really have no solutions but to be honest. unfortunately you can not unrefer yourself because it will cause more "concerns".

i am blogging about my experiences as a disabled mum to be just so i can get it off my chest. i suggest you keep ranting about it to someone or something somewhere. Especially if you are a nurse, I am sure you can find a positive outlet for your experiences. ;)

Original poster
EmilyJane86 · 28/02/2014 21:22

I would never not attend a referral but I will be extremely annoyed if they ask to do a drug test. I highly doubt they will as I'm not sure this is a routine thing especially for someone who has never needed any rehab or medical help or intervention for and substance misuse. The referral was made over 3 weeks ago and I've heard nothing as of yet

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Original poster
EmilyJane86 · 28/02/2014 21:34

I'm probably being over sensitive and dramatic but this has definitely taken from my joy of being pregnant especially as I'm so happy now and in a different place. I cringe when I think of my past its not me any more

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Original poster
EmilyJane86 · 28/02/2014 22:18

She's arranged a CAN meeting I have no idea what this is?!

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RaRa1988 · 28/02/2014 22:21

I was too honest and ended up with a referral to a Substance Misuse midwife and consultant and over two hours' worth of lectures, which led to my being classed as high-risk. I smoked weed a handful of times over a year ago ffs. Sometimes its just the hospital getting a bee in their bonnet: I moved Trusts over this and my new one has been far more sensible.

Sillylass79 · 28/02/2014 22:51

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Sillylass79 · 28/02/2014 22:53

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Sillylass79 · 28/02/2014 22:53

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Original poster
EmilyJane86 · 28/02/2014 23:11

Not Can a CAF meeting what is this?

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Sillylass79 · 28/02/2014 23:41

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Sillylass79 · 28/02/2014 23:43

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SweetPea86 · 28/02/2014 23:49

I Hun I understand why you are frustrated but I can kind of see midwifes side of thing. It's fab you have stopped drink and drugs and I think it's great you were honest. Midwife is just doing her job.

If I was in your situation I'd be happy to take a drugs test and prove your clean. She maybe be trying to help pregnancy for me has caused a lot of depression I've found it mentally and physically challenging.

I've never took drugs so I guess you could say how would I know, but I have a cousin who got her self of drugs and relapsed when depression came bk. this doesn't mean you will but the midwife probs has your best interests at heart.

:)

Original poster
EmilyJane86 · 28/02/2014 23:56

I work full time as a nurse. I function quite well. And I never needed help getting off drink or drugs. You don't just go around saying somebody needs to do a drug test I mean seriously this is why nhs services are so over stretched cause of inappropriate referrals and people using tick boxes instead of professional judgement. I have decided I am seeing my GP next week so she can either write to the MW or speak to her as I have a close relationship with my GP. I've been seeing her regularly for 6 years for depression check ups. I know she will be just as annoyed as I am.

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Original poster
EmilyJane86 · 01/03/2014 00:06

If my midwife had my best interest at heart maybe she would be making referrals regarding the health of my baby. As I mentioned earlier my partner has a severe disability in his family that is passed on would be nice to see a genetic consultant too.

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Sillylass79 · 01/03/2014 00:10

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SweetPea86 · 01/03/2014 00:12

It was just my personal opinion. Wish you all the luck :)

Sillylass79 · 01/03/2014 00:13

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Original poster
EmilyJane86 · 01/03/2014 00:20

I god lol good thing I have not told them I'm scared of cot death etc. ..I am a born worrier. Anyway thank you all for your help. I just find it so different to how adult health care works.

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SpinningFates · 01/03/2014 00:22

No. Never be honest with a HCP. It will always come back and bite you in the arse.

Sillylass79 · 01/03/2014 00:24

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SweetPea86 · 01/03/2014 00:25

Omg worrying about cot death etc does not make you a risk, it means your good person worrying, being human.

hurtmummymel77 · 21/03/2019 20:50

i seen 3 midwifes today for the first time and they left me feeling judged upset and suicidal

hurtmummymel77 · 21/03/2019 20:57

I hd a dealing with social services in 2010 and it was dropped straight away the case and now they because I took an overdose as my ex stole my children to numb the pain not to kill myself that was 4 years ago , now they went on and on about ss getting involved , this is too much to deal with and I feel like well I dont know what to do , I can prove myself yes but in the past ive seen social workers lie . my heart is in tatters