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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Bump size

54 replies

shocking2201 · 09/08/2006 15:27

Is anyone else out there getting fed up with all and sundry having an opinion on the size of bump? I am 33 wks pg with #2 and it really is getting me down. Bizarrely, it seems to be mostly women (including mothers) - although my male neighbour topped all recent comments - saying I looked well - just a little "plump". You would never say this to a person who was overweight so why does this change for pg ladies???
Just wish I was able to reply with a witty retort.
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lilmamma · 13/08/2006 11:05

my sister in law,has a large rounded stomach but it is high up,so she is easily mistaken for being about 7 months pregnant,she says when people say ,when is the baby due,she said she stares at then right in the eyes and says im not pregnant im fat,and then keeps staring,she says its so funny, they dont know where to look.I would just die on the spot..

Highlander · 13/08/2006 11:36

I fortunately have smallish bumps and only had one 'incident' last time - normally I'm vigilent for people trying to touch me and stop them when I see the hand coming

With DS1 I was at a party at 30 weeks and a starnge (slightly drunk) bloke put his hand on my bump and said 'what's this then?'. I felt disgusted and said in a loud voice, 'how does your wife feel about you touching up other women?'. He was mortified.
TBH, so was I but I was chuffed I'd had the nerve to speak up. I hate the way the general public thinks your body is public property when pregnant - I mean, you wouldn't comment on someone's appearance or grope them if they weren't pregnant, would you?

CurrantBun · 14/08/2006 13:04

Can cut both ways though - DH offered his seat on the Tube recently to an obviously pregnant woman. Her response?

"I'm pregnant, not disabled, and perfectly capable of standing."

DH was mortified that he'd somehow offended her. Personally I hope that people like her don't put other people off taking the chivalrous approach - if I was offered a seat, I'd take it! Actually, I've noticed that it's generally other women who tend to offer their seats to pregnant women.

Can't believe that people think a pregnant woman's bump is public property and available to be touched! I don't show yet but if anyone goes anywhere near mine without my permission they will get the sharp side of my tongue!

jamiesam · 14/08/2006 13:10

Never happened before, but with this pg, no 3, people look genuinely shocked when I say I've still got 2 months to go. I've taken to getting in there first and saying 'I'm going to be immense'. Only the really rude ones agree .

I always smile to myself about all the MNers who would be really pis*ed off to be told they look big!

And I always wish I was brave enough to use a version of the Winston Churchill retort on being told he was drunk 'madam, I will be sober in the morning but you will still be ugly' - 'I will have a gorgeous baby in two months but you will still be an ignorant pig' - maybe

Jods · 31/08/2006 16:06

I'm nearly 37 wks with no 2 and all the way through this preg people have said about having a small neat bump. An because of that most people think its a boy.

MINNIE1 · 31/08/2006 16:12

Really fed up with SIL tellin everyone i am massive!!! I have a nice tidy bump for 6 months gone.. So yes i understand what your sayin. If i seen a pregnant lady i never comment on the bump i just ask how there feeling now..

SophieB · 31/08/2006 18:09

I always get the comments of 'how many weeks pregnant are you?' '37 weeks? oh you dont look that big' i feel like saying 'sod you, you havent seen my ankles and i weigh a ton and my bump is the correct size actually!!!' Why do people feel like they need to comment on either your size or the size of your bump? its never 'wow your hair looks nice' or 'wow i like what your wearing!' sooooo very annoying!

emsee · 23/10/2007 20:35

Commenting on bump size is fine, but commenting on size of my arse and how fat my BACK, yes My Back has gone make me want to strangle the old bags in work!

sarahloumadam · 23/10/2007 20:40

A checkout girl at the local supermarket says "not long now then" every time she see me! She has been saying this for the past 6 weeks! I make a bee-line for her check-out now cos I just want to freak her out by keeping growing and growing .

loopyredangel · 24/10/2007 23:32

Yes, I was in the queue at Boots minding my own business, and a fella just turned and looked and asked if I was having twins! Well with my newly acquired 49inch waist I guess I can see why.
With my first DS, I went to Mothercare for breastfeeding bras after I had him, and the lady measuring asked when I was due!!!!!!

GoodGollyMissMolly · 25/10/2007 09:21

I know how you feel, I hate people telling me I have a small bump, it feels like they are saying that I'm neglecting my unborn baby and my bump should be bigger. I know they dont mean it like that but that is what I 'hear' when they say it to me.

I however think my bump is massive and feel like a prize bull atm

I could do with a good witty retort, but may just end up telling them to fark orf

teenyweeny · 25/10/2007 09:33

I hear you sister! I'm sick of people telling me I'm too small, one friend who is 5 weeks ahead of me (and had put on over double the weight I have) keeps on saying to me that I should double and tripple check with the midwife and doctor just in case my placenta isn't working properly! Of course this is upsetting, and I have called the midwife, all she can say is that everyone is different and that my scan results have been fine. I take it so personally though, as you say Molly, it's as though they are saying that we are neglecting our child...

lailasmum · 25/10/2007 09:40

They may have been meaning it as a compliment, i.e. that you haven't put on much weight.

teenyweeny · 25/10/2007 09:46

I would hope that's what she means, but telling me to check my palcenta out and to double and tripple check with the midwife is what upset me

GoodGollyMissMolly · 25/10/2007 09:59

It does feel awful doesn't it TeenyWeeny, it's like we know they dont mean it that way but thats how it sounds to us.

A friend on mine at work is 2 weeks behind me and she is massive, it is her second though ( this is my first) and everyone kept comparing my bump size to hers while I was at work. It quite upset me, I knew they didn't mean it, but still. I really dislike the way people feel they like have right to comment on your body shape when you are pg, it's like your public property.

Lilasmum, yeah I know they dont mean it like I take it, and sometimes someone will say to how lovely and neat my bump is, those comments I like.

Naetha · 25/10/2007 11:04

I've had hardly any comments on my bump size - I feel like I'm missing out! (I'm 31 weeks now).

The only thing I do get, is one very annoying work colleague whose mum is a midwife every time she sees me tells me all these scare stories about how her mum helped with a horrendous birth where the baby was breech and cord round neck, and all these horrendous labours, and how her best friend needed 40 stitches after giving birth etc.

Not what I need!!

teenyweeny · 25/10/2007 11:06

It is really upsetting. Even when I explain that I was a small baby (5lbs) and that my three sisters have all had small bub's (less that 6lbs)they still continue! On the flip side, though, no strangers have touched my bump yet, that I really coudn't stand! It must be hard being compared to a work mate though..

Bessie123 · 25/10/2007 11:14

I don't know what you're all complaining about (except Naetha; your workmate is being a tw4t and should shut up). So what if people comment on the bump? At least they're showing an interest. I think it's nice when people make the effort to talk to me about mine, even when they say something I've heard a million times before.

teenyweeny · 25/10/2007 11:25

Bessie, we are only saying how we feel, if things upset me, It's nice to know that other people share those feelings and can relate to them

Bessie123 · 25/10/2007 11:41

Yes, teenyweeny, she shouldn't be telling you things might be wrong - it's not helpful. But I think a lot of people comment on the size of a bump to show interest.

martymolly · 25/10/2007 13:55

Im 5'1" and 33wks pregnant. I know I'm small for 33wks and no, it dosen't help when people point it out. You feel like you're not 'growing the baby' properly and that people are thinking you're doing something wrong. Midwife says I may have to have a scan in 2wks if not much growth til then... slightly concerned.. anyone else had to have this? Not sure what they may be looking for..?

Bessie123 · 25/10/2007 14:04

martymolly - my friend had this extra scan because she was v small and the hospital was worried the baby wasn't growing properly. Everything was fine and she now has a v happy, healthy dd.

AnguaVonUberwald · 25/10/2007 14:19

I get "oh you are massive" or "is it twins", one very rude woman asked me if it was triplets. And it is upsetting, I have these images of never loosing the weight and staying this sise, and it somehow being all my own fault.

Why do people feel like you are public property (and don't even get me started on the bump touching)

teenyweeny · 25/10/2007 14:56

Merty, my sis had this with her DD, she didn't put on any weight in the last 4 weeks of her pg. Scan revealed that all was well, she just had a small bub. Angua, can imagine how annoying this is, just burst into tears next time someone says something, that will fix em

Bessie123 · 25/10/2007 15:04

Angua - you can't get precious about your tummy growing when you're pregnant; that's just what happens. The woman wasn't saying you are fat, and why are you worrying about that now anyway? Out of all the things to be worrying about, I'm sure losing the weight won't be a problem if you want to do it.

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