When is it ok to ask for a seat on a train for daily commute?

[rosiepuppy]

I am only 5 weeks in but already feeling the affects of morning sickness and tiredness. My train journey to work in London takes 45 minutes, I'm obviously not showing or anything yet so feel awkward asking for someone's seat... so this morning I sat on the floor!! what would you do?

I agree with those who have said that it is always OK to ask at any stage of pregnancy (or non-pregnancy) if you're feeling very unwell or in pain. But on the other hand I don't think there comes a magic point in pregnancy when you're entitled to a seat - it depends on how pregnancy is treating you.

I confess I find 'baby on board' badges a bit annoying. I understand why they exist but I see a lot of women wearing them who appear to not be green with sickness, struggling with pain or lugging a hefty bump. That is perhaps very uncharitable of me (and who is to say I can tell at first glance who is suffering and who isn't?) but personally I'd only start wearing one if I was at a point where standing was a considerable discomfort.

It's not even about whether or not you're in considerable discomfort though. Once you start putting the weight on, it can cause all kinds of other problems if you're on you're feet for long periods of time! You night feel fine but actually be doing yourself a lot of damage. I understand that pregnancy is usually a choice somebody made but there's a reason we're lumped in with the elderly and disabled . Don't suffer unnecessarily!

I second the point about not asking one particular person as it puts them on the spot. Happened to me yesterday. I had been for physio on my back, back was really sore, and an older lady asked me if she could have my seat. I was too embarrassed to say no (felt all eyes on me) so had to stand for forty minutes in pain :(

I have to say I'd always ask for a seat on a bus, because the bloody bumpiness makes you sure at some point you're going to go a* over t** which lets be honest would be horrendous whilst pregnant. I mean, trains are generally smoother but if you feel you're not stable enough stood up, ask definately! The idea of sitting on the floor whilst pregnant seems horrible! I wouldn't be able to get up without help!

Also more public transport rant- bus drivers who drive away before you're even near a seat and you wobble around and nearly sit on innocent passengers ¬¬

I've had my baby on board badge since 12 weeks and have been offered a seat every day to and from work(45 minute commute)- I've never had to ask. I'd definitely recommend it.

Yep, on a bus it's a bit different and in particular when the pregnant woman is past the first trimester and the uterus has risen above the pelvis and there's a placenta and its attachment to consider. No matter how she feels in and of herself, it is more appropriate for her to be seated over other people (mobility etc issues aside) because it's not just her to think of. Buses can stop suddenly, go over nasty unexpected bumps, centre of gravity is displaced with a baby belly and a fall can do harm to baby. But trains are rarely that bumpy, some tube lines excepted of course!!

Good point helenhen - although presumably that applies more in the later stages?

To be fair I'm sure if I had a hellish commute I would be flaunting a badge too, I'm pretty lucky that it is rare for me not to get a seat.

There's not even room to sit on the floor on some of.my trains they're so packed! I find travelling earlier helps (and then can finish earlier too and beat the rush) although appreciate not everyone can do this. Do tour BoB application online as all of the tube stations I asked at had run out.

I get a bit annoyed that sometimes the seat avaiable.is in the middle.of 6 (iyswim) and people expect you to manoeuvre past them and wedge yourself in rather than move along one...

I'm 35 weeks, very obviously heavily pregnant, and I still have to ask for a seat on the tube most mornings. I look for the priority seat, and ask 'Are you in need of the priority seat this morning?'. A couple of times people have said 'yes I need it', and of course that's fine, but usually someone else will offer me a seat at that point.
Definitely keep that 'baby on board' badge to hand.

Can you get a layer train with more seats op?

Later*

I think if you think you genuinely need the seat more than someone sitting there (ie, not elderly etc,) then you should ask.

People often ignore though. I used to commute to central London from Surrey on a very busy train and 2 tubes.. My bump was huge by about 25 weeks and then I broke my foot.

I was massive, tired & had crutches... For four days no one offered me a seat on any journey and I was too embarrassed to ask, instead switching both crutches to one arm and holding on.

From then on I drove (drove an automatic so didn't need the other foot!) it was just easier.

(Did get offered a seat twice when no pregnant though, really must lose that baby weight!! )