Dh was in Scotland for a week and having found out on the Monday I couldn't bear to wait until the Friday so after a pefectly normal phone call I blurted out that I had something to tell him, and the conversation went something like:
Me: You're going to kill me.
Him: What have you done? Oh, bloody hell, you've crashed the car!
Me: Noooo ... Oh, God, you'll never forgive me!
Him: It can't be the car, it's parked at the airport - oh my God, you've killed the cat!
Me: Noooo ... oh, bugger, I can't tell you like this. You're going to hate me!
Him: You've set fire to the £@# house!
Me: Noooo - itlookslikeImightsortofbepregnant
Him: Oh, fantastic!
(pause)
Him: I thought you were on the Pill!
Me: Yes, so did I.
Him: It's that Ben Elton!
Me: ????
Him: You were reading that book Inconceivable weren't you!
He has never, ever allowed me to read that book again as he really seems to believe that reading a book about conception was the thing that did it!