your views on bump grabbing, groping, and stroking

[AnnaBanana25]

So, I have only had a few incidents of bump touching so far, which I have found odd as I'm 14 weeks today and don't have a proper visible bump yet.

Today's grab probed me to ask your views... Do you mind? Do you like it, put up with it, or have you purchased a t shirt that says "touch my bump and die"?

I'm in two minds at the minute, mainly finding it odd as I don't even have a big bump. An acquaintance today started probing my tummy asking "so where is it?! WHERE IS IT?!".... Ummmm... Weird.

So, views please, go!

[lannyshrops]

I didn't mind my bump being touched, by anyone I don't think. I had a lot of random people touching me ( nurse) and I kind of liked spreading the joy. There was noting more heartening than the little old ladies having a pat in the morning as I gave them medications Apparently it's supposed to bring luck or something.

That said, I totally understand those who feel invaded and agree that people should ask before touching. I just think that people get so excited about a baby, even random strangers. There is something beautiful about a life growing, all the possibilities, the pureness and the hope a new life brings, and I think people want to have a little bit of that. Sometimes it makes them go a bit crazy and forget social niceties but it's never intentionally mean or abusive.

[Lastofthepodpeople]

I think it is extraordinarily rude. Bump touching without asking first is an incredible invasion of personal space, and it is utterly ridiculous to touch another person without permission and then get upset when they don't like it.
Everyone has different levels of comfort when it comes to physical contact, and there are a lot of very tactile people who don't seem to understand that others find them touching them very uncomfortable.
Like someone else said upthread, if you're not sure if someone would be comfortable with it, just ask.

LittlePeaPod I missed your thread but FWIW I definitely understand your reaction!

[MotorcycleMama]

I generally hate it for a couple of reasons: 1) It makes me feel like a prize sow, and 2) people often seem to rub the underside of my bump which puts them closer than is comfortable to my crotch.

My mum got it right when I exposed my belly for her to look at as I thought it would make her happy. She asked if I minded if she touch it, which I didn't at all. I found this to be very respectful.

My boss (female) does it as a kind of greeting in front of my colleagues, and I hate it but don't have the heart to say anything as I know she means it all affectionately.

I have developed an icy stare which I employ if anybody looks like they are coming too close now, and that seems to work!

[greentshirt]

I've been with my DH for 6 years (married for 1) and through one thing and another only met his god mother yesterday at a funeral. First thing she does? Didnt even say hello, hands all over the bump and 'oh my godsons baby is in there!'

So being a human incubator is obvs all im good for! Was a bit overwhelmed so I didnt say anything but it has made me think twice about letting people touch me, I was ok with it before!

[FryOneFatManic]

nutritionalbeauty I think you may be a bit too simplistic with your post. I am very tactile, come from a tactile family and like massages, etc.

I don't, however, like uninvited touching. There is a difference.

If I go to someone for a massage I have invited that touching and am prepared for it.

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

I spent the evening in the pub last night. Bumpy was stroked and patted by all manner of random drunkards from DPs pool team! One mad man even kissed it! Someone Ive known for years I hasten to add
It was lovely!

[RedCountryRoads]

I'm 16 weeks with my first. I have a tiny bump which you couldn't see in the dress I was wearing for new years eve.

Was out last night and my DH and his friends. His best man and his girlfriend where touching the Bump alot. The girl was even talking to it. I wasn't comfortable with it. I do like hugging my friends but I find bump touching, especially when there is no bump very uncomfortable.

[Lunaria]

It depends who it is.

A stranger would be very weird. A male stranger wouldn't be tolerated at all.

Friends I'm ok with and family I'm almost disappointed if they don't.

Definitely better if there is a bump to grab though rather than a fist full of flab xx

[TwoThreeFourSix]

I don't like it, unless it's DH or DS (DS is 2 and does the most lovely strokes and kisses - he really likes the bump )

With my first pregnancy one random woman at work kept grabbing my bump and I hated it. I deliberately carried folders etc. in front of the bump to discourage it. Fortunately no random stranger touched me.

My mum has touched this bump but asked first which was nice. Felt a bit weird her touching it but am not going to say anything as she's such a help to me.

Fortunately MIL hasn't touched either bump, which I appreciate because I really would feel uncomfortable about it.

I also feel uncomfortable about people wanting to know lots of detail about my pregnancy. MIL crossed quite a few lines with my first pregnancy (ringing after every appointment to find out how my cervix was and wanting to know word for word what the midwife/Dr said) but I tried to be nice and polite to her as she was genuinely interested (former midwife) and DH is an only child.

This time though I bit the bullet and asked DH to be the go-between. I said her questions felt far too personal. Have no idea what he said to her but so far it's been much better. I'm also getting more skilled at answering her questions with short answers and avoiding questions I don't like (she doesn't speak English, so I have to try and find polite ways in French to cut off the conversation). One problem is that she wants to know everything about the pregnancy but is a real worrier. So we try to play down my sickness (still going strong at 22 weeks) and DH made the mistake of mentionning I was having contractions after several hours in the car so she then went on and on at me, asking if I was ok and not accepting it when I said I was fine...