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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

'Having a CS...poor you'

49 replies

spinach · 13/07/2006 21:51

I am so fed up of people asking me if i am disappointed to be having an elective section. Every midwife/consultant seems to think i should be hung up about it! I have been asked 'are you hoping for a nice normal birth this time' and 'are you really disappointed about needing a section'.

Its clear from my medical background that a cs is the only way for me, i couldnt care less, perfectly happy... why is everyone else so obsessed?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

fruitful · 13/07/2006 21:59

It is probably better than

"ooh, too posh to push then?"

"oh you're so lucky, I was in labour for 3 weeks and I needed 10,000 stitches..."

"you don't want to do that now, c-sections are dangerous"

and a whole host of other stupid insensitive comments. At least people are trying to empathise with what they imagine you might be feeling.

Oh, I've just seen that it is the medical people who are saying this to you. Were you assuming that they might actually have read your notes before talking to you then?

Original poster

spinach · 13/07/2006 22:05

yes fruitful... exactly! from joe public... such comments perfectly normal, from people who should be reading my notes BLOODY FRUSTRATING!

OP posts:

zephyrcat · 13/07/2006 22:05

Ignore it. I've had 3 and get the same crap said to me. While I was pg with number 3 I had my Mum constantly saying "You need to do it properly for once instead of copping out"
The consultant said more than once in a sarcastic tone "You like having surgery do you?"
I think on the medical side of it they try and put you off - I get the impression they are under pressure to reduce the unmber of elective caesareans.... but honestly, ignore it. It's your body, your baby, your birth - you do what you want!!

LaDiDaDi · 13/07/2006 23:49

Although I entirely get where you are coming from (being a c-section girl myself ) and people shouldn't make assumptions, lots of women would be feeling upset/disappointed for whatever reason and I suppose the mvs and docs are just used to those mums.

Charlottesweb · 13/07/2006 23:58

Hah.. I am a small girl... I had 2 natural births, My babies were over 7lb. My mother (who had 8 kids herself) told me I was a damn fool for going through labour when I could go for the easy option of a CS. Said if they had been widely available "in her day" then she would have had those!!
I for one think you are brave, as a CS scared the shit out of me, and 3 of my sisters have had them too!
If it is medically and mentally better for you to have a CS then tell them all to feck off

FairyMum · 14/07/2006 01:47

Just look at back at them and tell them "having a vaginal delivery....poor you"

Blandmum · 14/07/2006 07:15

spinich, I had two sections and never understood the faff some people expect of you!

I have two happy, healthy kids. I am fine, can jump up and down and cough with confidence!

sod the lot of them, if you are happy and your babe will be well, who cares!

Twiglett · 14/07/2006 07:20

I had 2 for which I'm eternally grateful

end result was 2 beautiful babies, 2 fairly relaxed deliveries and I kept my eyesight

fuck 'em .. like it matters how they come out!!!!!

sobernow · 14/07/2006 07:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Furball · 14/07/2006 07:40

I too had an elective for medical reasons. The bottom line is there is no other option. Quite why this seems a problem for others is beyond me. I always used to say 'At least I know where my stiches are gonna be!' After hearing the birth stories of other mums in the same anti natal group as me I was really glad I had a cs.

Best wishes with it all.

Twiglett · 14/07/2006 08:01

I like to use the phrase 'pristine fanny' .... a lot

Miaou · 14/07/2006 08:16

"I am fine, can jump up and down and cough with confidence!"

rofl mb!!!! I am nominating this for quote of the week!

Gem13 · 14/07/2006 08:59

I was advised to have one by my consultant.

When I went back the following week to say that yes, I would have one, his registrar said 'You do realise it isn't an easy option don't you? There's a risk of serious infection' etc, etc..... I was so cross and then I cried

I would rather have the reactions you've encountered.

PollyParanoia · 14/07/2006 13:22

As annoying comments to be said to pregnant women go, that's up there with:
Is it twins? (cf my other thread)
Ooh, you must be so disappointed... (on learning that pg woman in question is having another boy/girl).

Even more annoying is that Michel Odent this week has been saying elective cs mothers find it harder to bond. I think mothers who've been through about three days of labour do, but all the women I know who've had electives have found it a really positive experience.
Tsk.
PP

poisson · 14/07/2006 13:23

but surely it IS crap to have to haev a c section
ye sit gets the baby out but no on WANTS ONE

poisson · 14/07/2006 13:23

god some mums will moan abotu ANYTHING

Blandmum · 14/07/2006 13:36

TBH, cod, after 2 day in labour, with no sign of ever getting the baby out, yes I did, at that point want a section. When they told me I was going to have one I said thank you. It wasn't my lifelong ambition, you understand, but I was delighted, at that point to have one.

Similarly I was happy to have one the next time, when the alternative was possible brain damage or death of my child.

I simply never understood why anyone felt sorry for me, I was quite happy about the whole thing.

nailpolish · 14/07/2006 13:40

my mw who delivered dd1 told me "if i had been in a hospital i would have been taken to theatre"

dd1 was such a nightmare, you name it, cord round neck, arms above head, one leg bent backwards, etc

thankfully she is ok

nailpolish · 14/07/2006 13:41

all my mates who have had a section say its so hard to lose weight,

Blandmum · 14/07/2006 13:41

A real little contortionist!

poisson · 14/07/2006 13:41

MB i totally get you but tbh when someoen is pg its hard to say anythign original isnt it and so when somene says they are expectign SURGERY you nturally htink that is not a good thing

nailpolish · 14/07/2006 13:43

i wouldnt think "poor you" if someone told me they were having a section

or maybe i would, missing out on a vaginal birth and all that

poisson · 14/07/2006 13:43

nailpolish · 14/07/2006 13:43

but i dont suppose you would care if you missed out or not

Blandmum · 14/07/2006 13:44

Well, sort of. I just kept thinking that as long as we were both OK at the end I was fine with it. I had lost a pg before that left me infertile and needing surgery and hormone treatment to put it right (not searching for sympathy here! ) As far as I was concerned a live baby at the end and me ok was fine and dandy.

And I wan still make dh wince during sex if I clench my muscles So every cloud has a silver one, eh?

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