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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Can't stop thinking the worst might happen. WHY?

53 replies

Inglori0us · 19/11/2013 06:32

This is my second pregnancy and I'm so worried about losing the baby and I don't know why. My dd is 20mo and I don't remember being so freaked out or negative when I was pregnant with her.
I've just booked a private scan for Saturday as I need reassurance the baby's ok. My 20 wk scan isn't for another 2 weeks. I can't feel movement and don't remember when I first felt it with dd.
I'm over emotional and terrified of miscarriage. I keep imagining the sonographer not being able to find a heartbeat and giving us bad news.
I just can't shake this feeling if doom. :(

OP posts:
MrsCharlieD · 19/11/2013 06:42

I can totally understand how you're feeling. I think it's only natural to worry because you love your unborn dc so much. I've got my 12 week scan today and Im so scared there won't be anything there or there'll be no heartbeat. Im sure everything will be fine as the odds are greatly in your favour now you're 20 weeks. Hope you're scan goes well and gives you the reassurance you need. thinking of you x

GillyBillyWilly · 19/11/2013 06:57

I feel your pain.... I feel exactly the same!
My 12 week scan is tomorrow morning and I feel so anxious it's unbelievable. The very few people I've told already keep saying his excited I must be for my scan tomorrow... And part of me is excited but an even bigger part of me is anxious and scared and trying to prepare myself for bad news. No idea why Sad
This is my first and I just hear so many sad stories. I'm finding it really quite hard.
Fingers crossed everything will be fine tomorrow like people keep telling me and then I can start to feel a little bit more happy and excited.

GillyBillyWilly · 19/11/2013 06:58

Good luck today MrsCharlie... Let us know how it goes!!!!!!!!

McFox · 19/11/2013 07:02

My 12 week scan is tomorrow too and I'm so freaked out that I've barely slept. I know exactly how you feel. Mutual handholding required I think.

GillyBillyWilly · 19/11/2013 07:05

Ah mcfox Smile
I had the worst nights sleep last night. Woke up thinking it must be almost time to wake up and it was only 2am. Lay in bed for an hour or more just thinking about everything before I think I finally started to get back to sleep... But my sleep was broken for the rest of the night.
Tonight will be worse. Unless I feel so exhausted after work today that I just pass out Grin

What time is your scan tomorrow? Mines at 9.20am. Eeeeekkk Blush

McFox · 19/11/2013 07:22

I'm hoping for post-work exhaustion too, especially as I'm working away from home today. Fingers crossed that by the time I get home at 9pm I'll be done in!

Mine's is at 8.30...

GillyBillyWilly · 19/11/2013 07:26

Ahhhh I want an earlier appointment too! Grin
Was actually tempted to call the hospital and see if they can do if earlier haha.

Hopefully everything will fine for all of us and we are just being worry warts!

Make sure you let us know how it goes tomorrow Smile

McFox · 19/11/2013 08:14

It's worth a try!

I'm sure we are, but fingers crossed anyway Smile

Ditto!!

Original poster
Inglori0us · 19/11/2013 08:33

Good luck everyone. Let us know how the scans go.

Just going to try to keep busy until Saturday.

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4athomeand1cooking · 19/11/2013 08:42

I put it down to just being more aware of the things that can go wrong. With my first, I had no mummy friends and had not heard too many stories and breezed through pregnancy in fairly blissful ignorance. Once you go through it once, those stories come out in leaps and bounds plus you personally experience childbirth and that does something to you.

Now with my 5th, I am considering conditions which I had never ever heard of and it just makes you more aware of how precious and miraculous giving birth is.

I also worried this time around as have always felt movement around 14 weeks. At 19 weeks I paid for a private scan and the placenta is at the front so it cushioned the blows. As it happens, I had not been home from the scan more that 20 minutes when I felt my very first kick!

Original poster
Inglori0us · 19/11/2013 09:21

Wow 4 I hope that happens to me too. Come on baby, kick! What are the implications of anterior placenta?
I'm so tired from being stressed out and not sleeping well.

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4athomeand1cooking · 19/11/2013 10:02

No implications. It just places it at the front and cushions the early kicks. I didn't get the usual butterfly feelings this time, just went straight to kicks.

stickysausages · 19/11/2013 10:10

I didn't feel movements with DS until 22 weeks, it was after the 20 week scan. In a way, I wonder if it's because you love your DD so much, you realise what's at stake now? If that makes sense. When I MC'd before finally having DS, it was very sad, but as I'd yet to become a mum, I thankfully didn't realise the extent of what I was losing.

Sorry, rambles... wishing you well for your scan Grin we had a private gender scan at 17/18 weeks & the detail was amazing, was a great experience after all the previous upset.

Writerwannabe83 · 19/11/2013 10:11

inglorious - I sympathise with you feeling like this as I'm exactly the same. I'm coming up 22 weeks pregnant and still convinced that something is going to go wrong and I'm not going to get a baby at the end of it. I've had various complications during the pregnancy and have so far had 6 ultrasound scans and I didn't look forward to any of them because I was dreading hearing awful news. Each scan was absolutely fine but I cannot shake the fear. I haven't bought anything for the baby and aren't really making any plans for its arrival. I have told my husband I don't want to decorate the nursery until it has actually been born as I couldn't face coming back from the hospital to a beautiful nursery and no baby to put in it. I've had a good friend give me a huge bag full of baby clothes (she had one 4 months ago) and it is sitting in my car boot and I have no intention to start looking through it. Family members having started purchasing baby necessities for me (baby baths, baby-gros) but I have told them I don't want to look at them or have them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not obsessing over something going wrong with the baby but nor am I acting like everything is going to be ok.

I have started feeling some movements since about 18 weeks, which have got more frequent and obvious over the last few days but compared to movements that other people describe at this stage, mine seem to be quite mild. I have an anterior placenta though and my midwife/consultant aren't concerned so I'm trying not to fret about it too much Hmm

I really hope your early scan gives you some comfort x x

ChicaMomma · 19/11/2013 10:37

What you are referring to Gillywilly, ''missed'' miscarriages, happen in such a tiny % of miscarriage cases. You've already made it past 6/8weeks without a regular miscarriage, this is the biggest hurdle of all, so congrats! I was convinced i was going to have a 'missed mis' too though, so can fully understand your fears.. RIGHT up until the 9 week scan picked up a heart beat i was full sure i'd be told there was no heartbeat and that the baby was already dead! After the heartbeat is picked up the risk of it happening is 3%.. so that's a 97% chance of everything being fine. In your case Inglorious, at 18 weeks, the chances are over 99.5%... so you have to just keep reminding yourself of those stats.

Original poster
Inglori0us · 19/11/2013 11:58

I know exactly that feeling Writer. I'm hoping after th scan on Saturday I'll feel better. I will get the baby clothes out of the loft if it's a girl and buy a few bits if it's a boy. I think knowing the sex will help. My friend has offered to lend me her fetal heartbeat monitor but I don't know if that'll make me feel better or worse!
Thanks for the stats Chica. That's reassuring and a big help. My labour with dd was very scary and she was a bit unwell so I think that might've added to my anxiety.
Hugs to you all. And thanks. x

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Original poster
Inglori0us · 19/11/2013 12:00

Thanks Sticky. I'm trying to look forward to the scan to see the little wriggler. I've had 2 scans already (early and 12 was) and there was lots of movement both times.
Good to know the anterior placenta doesn't cause proves 4.
xx

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Original poster
Inglori0us · 19/11/2013 12:01

Mr friends has been to this private scan clinic and said it was lovely so at least I'm not going to be in the big hospital, waiting around.

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livingzuid · 19/11/2013 13:45

I so know and understand. I have a 13 week scan next Friday. The last one I had was at 7 weeks (after a good scan at 6 weeks) where I was told there was a pregnancy but she couldn't be sure it was a good one despite said 2 seconds earlier it was almost impossible to see anything because my bowel was full. The next day another gynaecologist told me there was nothing like that on my report, there had been a bit of growth and there was still a good chance of seeing the heartbeat in a week. I refused to go back there hence why no scans since!

All my drs (of which I have several hence my care being transferred to a specialist unit) have looked at me completely baffled as to why I should worry and told me that I should not have been told what I was told. Even with my symptoms which are strong - wish this sickness would go away - and that there has not even been a hint of blood or strange coloured mucus (and I have been looking believe me - even made DH check sometimes) and that I have mcd before and know what that is like doesn't get rid of the fear. I am so scared of next week I really don't even want to go.

Sorry long post, just wanted to say I emphasise totally. Statistics do tell us that the odds are overwhelmingly in our favour :) so I cling to that. Ignore Google, go with what your body and instinct tell you and also ignore your brain. It's not helpful right now I find!

Here's wishing everyone's scans go wonderfully I am sure they will :)

PrincessKitKat · 19/11/2013 14:08

Good luck to everyone awaiting scans. I have my 20-week on Thursday - the anxiety cloud descended last night.

Normally I'm very sensible & positive, but I think it's my 'fear of failure' that sets it all off. I don't want to let DH and the GPs and the baby down by having a crap placenta or something.
The weight of responsibility quite literally makes me feel breathless until the scan.

But the elation when everything IS ok (fxfxfx), will make it all worth it Smile

Original poster
Inglori0us · 19/11/2013 14:51

Good luck with your scans Living and Kitkat.
I texted my midwife and she's going to come tomorrow evening to listen to the heartbeat. Phew.
I also saw a friend earlier who helped put my mind at ease. She didn't feel kicks til 22 weeks.

OP posts:
GillyBillyWilly · 19/11/2013 15:05

Thank you for the stats chica... That actually really helped Smile

Original poster
Inglori0us · 19/11/2013 15:47

Gilly and Fox not long to wait now. Do let us know how it goes in the morning. xx

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MrsRV · 19/11/2013 16:31

omg I could have written your post even down to DD being 20 months! its awful feeling like this isnt it? not enjoying it at all this time :-(

GillyBillyWilly · 19/11/2013 17:08

I'm counting down the hours! Finish work at 6... Get home for about 7ish... Eat... Sleep (if I can) then scan time! Got everything crossed for good news Smile