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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Formula feeding versus breastfeeding - which did you do and why?

100 replies

firstimer30s · 29/10/2013 10:03

I know there is research in favour of breastfeeding and all the benefits for baby, but aside from that, practically, how did it affect you and baby, whichever you chose?
I know this is a sensitive subject but I'm a first timer and clueless so would appreciate hearing your experiences...
Thanks

OP posts:

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TarkaTheOtter · 29/10/2013 17:39

I bf dd til 13/14months, mainly because it just seemed like the normal thing to do.

However, I am a SAHM and had the flexibility to time things around feeds so it didn't matter that my daughter was a bottle refuser. I think in your situation I would aim to exclusively bf until 5/6weeks. Then introduce a bottle, one a day to start. I hated expressing so I would probably go straight to formula. By 3 months I would be mixed feeding with formula during day and bfing at night and hope my supply could keep up.

YoureBeingAnAnyFuckerFan · 29/10/2013 18:04

Ds1 bf for 7 weeks. Discouraged by my mum so ff after that. No issues with that. He slept 7 til 7 every night from around 8/9 weeks apart from one night aged 4 months due to teething. Healthy 8 year old now.

Ds2 bf for 20 months. Felt 'restricted' in being able to go out as i found expressing difficult and wouldnt get much so didnt do it often enough to have a good supply to go out for the night if i got the chance. Same when i went back to work- didnt have enough for CMer during the day but thankfully ds was mostly on solid meals by then. Ds didnt sleep through til 16 months and was in my bed every night. Didnt mind him in my bed but it woke me when he fed. He also didnt sleep AT ALL during the day til 10 months when he was properly on solid meals. Had 3 episodes of croup as a baby/toddler. Otherwise healthy.

Would choose ff if i had another baby.

YoureBeingAnAnyFuckerFan · 29/10/2013 18:07

And i say that now as a SAHM. I really value the 'routine' element of FFing.

SomethingOnce · 29/10/2013 19:52

I've just read the thread back and, Hopelass, when you say:

I cannot count the number of hours I have spent sobbing my heart out believing I have failed my son in some way just because the NHS push breastfeeding so much and I have felt so guilty

I feel a bit concerned that you're describing PND symptoms, not just feelings about BF - have you told your HV or GP how you're feeling? You say you had a traumatic birth and I wonder if you've been given an opportunity to talk it through. If there's any chance you might benefit from that, please ask your HCPs.

Fwiw, there were aspects of DD's birth that I really needed to talk about, even though I wouldn't say it was traumatic. I remember offloading tearfully to my DM about how bad the paramedic made me feel

hettienne · 29/10/2013 19:57

I breastfed DS for 13 months, intend to breastfeed DC2.

It was the obvious choice for me - healthier for me and the baby, better for the environment, cheaper, easier, more convenient.

I don't really care what anyone else does with their baby though, formula is a perfectly adequate substitute.

Mattissy · 29/10/2013 20:13

Struggled with DC1, but he had an over large tongue, lol, it used to hang out of his mouth all the time! He lost so much weight that after 2 weeks they strongly suggested dual feeding, once he got the bottle he was not interested in the breast again.
DC2 took to it like fish to water and apart from a few minor hiccups was plain sailing for 24 months.
If ds had been my second child I'd have managed easier as I'd have known where I was going wrong and had more confidence iyswim.
Out of both, breast feeding was waaay easier. Baby wants food, just whack em out, sorted! I found night feeding so much less stressful when I could just pop her on. In fact I was much less stressed altogether with dc2.

loveolives · 29/10/2013 20:17

I've breastfed my babies purely because I'm lazy and breastfeeding is a piece of piss once you get the hang of it.

purrtrillpadpadpad · 29/10/2013 20:21

Hopelass your post broke my heart, I'm so sorry you went through a traumatic delivery. I agree with everything you said completely, there should be more focus on the mum and baby together.

I don't think what you've said sounds like PND btw, I felt similarly, it took about 8 weeks for me to feel more settled. Even my midwife told me to expect it to take at least 6 weeks to feel vaguely OK with being a new mum after the 'birth experience' I had. I hope you're getting lots of support from your family and please, please don't feel guilty no matter how you feed your baby.

purrtrillpadpadpad · 29/10/2013 20:26

That's not meant to be offensive to SomethingOnce, I just see the suggestion of someone having PND being a popular choice on Mumsnet and I wanted to offer an alternative. I don't have PND and I don't think you can be diagnosed with it 3 weeks into being a new mum.

AmeliaToppingLovesShopping · 29/10/2013 20:26

DD1 was 6 weeks early and had to be fed through a tube. I did express but other babies were going home and DD1 was stuck in hospital as feeding needed to be established so I FF from about 3 weeks.

DD2 was BF for the first 3 weeks but fed constantly and only put on 6oz in 3 weeks so I started to FF and she put on nearly a pound in the next week.

DD3 was BF for 5 months but dropped over 2 percentiles in the last month so I started FF.

If I were to have anymore, which I won't, I think I would consider FF from the start as I don't appear to be very good at it.

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams · 29/10/2013 20:27

I tried to bf til the day after my milk came in, and found it so hard, painful and tiring. I hated calling on people to help and then struggle to do what they suggested, ultimately failing at it.

I sent dh out at 3am for bottles, milk and steriliser and never looked back. I didnt find the preparation of feeds a hassle, loved seeing an amount each feed, shared night feeds with dh and found it so so much less stressful.

Mumof3xx · 29/10/2013 20:35

I have ff all 3 of my dc from day one because it felt right for me and my babies and that is what matters

DoBatsEatCats · 29/10/2013 20:43

I BF but wished I hadn't! I hated being the only one who could feed DD, being chained to the sofa for hours every evening (no-one warns you about cluster feeding), not being able to go out alone or exercise because she fed every hour for 30 mins - the list goes on. And then she turned out to be a really stubborn bottle refuser and DH and I had a total nightmare when I went back to work, she reverse cycled and I had three months of full-time, demanding work and no sleep. I nearly killed myself.

If I had another, I would BF for the first couple of weeks and then either mixed feed or FF.

Bakingtins · 29/10/2013 20:47

BF both.
Ds1 had some formula (one bottle a day) from 4-6m old in the mistaken belief it would make him sleep, fed for 16m.
DS2 BF for 2 yrs, largely dairy free, no formula because he was cows milk allergic.
It is worth persevering through the early weeks which can be tough, because in the long run BF has health benefits for both of you, is free, no hassle, no sterilising, you are never without the means of comfort or nutrition on tap, you can choose to express if you need a break from baby, it's a lovely bonding experience, better for the environment, no money goes to the evil formula companies.
Having decent advice and expectations before baby arrives and the means to access good support afterwards makes a huge difference.

DoBatsEatCats · 29/10/2013 20:48

I dispute "no hassle", *bakingtins"! It was a lot of hassle for me - DD never got the memo about babies getting more efficient at feeding as they get bigger.

I fed for 15 months in the end, but I felt very trapped by it.

Bakingtins · 29/10/2013 20:54

OP asked for our personal experience, mine is that after the first few weeks with baby 1 which were tough as we were both learning, BF for the other 39 months I did it was no hassle. Your different experience does not invalidate mine.

Handbagsonnhold · 29/10/2013 20:54

Formula by choice from birth....worked very well for us....happy and healthy dd able to establish good routine....good luck with whatever you decide to try x

DeathMetalMum · 29/10/2013 20:57

I wanted to breastfeed from the outset I didn't really see it as a 'choice' just thats what you do Iygwim, ff didn't really even cross my mind. Luckily I was able to breastfeed both dc not without difficulties to begin with but we got there evebtually dd1 until just before 2 and still currently feeding dd2 7.5months hope to continue until at least a year so I don't have to ff - nothing against formula but I just can't imagine cleaning prepping steralising etc I'm just not organised enough. I would go to make a bottle and they would all be dirty or something like that. Lazy is one reason but I would also worry I had made it wrong plus the cost.

theborrower · 29/10/2013 20:58

OP, it's not always about 'choice'. I would keep an open mind and be prepared to go with the flow.

I 'chose' to breastfeed, but after a EMCS and a baby who was tiny and couldn't latch I had to express (could hardly get anything), and top up with formula as she needed milk, any milk. It's a long story, but she ended up getting a tongue tie snipped at 8 weeks. By this time, I was so fed up and upset that I went to BFing twice a day and formula rest of time. I did this for about 6 months. So mix feeding is a 'choice' too.

So my advice is if you're planning on BFing, at the very least make sure you have a bottle of sterilising fluid in the house, because I was sent home with a baby cup and some formula, and DH had to make a trip to Boots the next day because we had no equipment whatsoever, because i had planned to BF.

Things don't always work out how we plan or choose.

DoBatsEatCats · 29/10/2013 21:00

True, Bakingtins: apologies.

MrsJohnDeere · 29/10/2013 21:01

Ds1 bf for 12 weeks then ff
Ds2 bf just 3 days then ff

Absolutely hated bfing - the pain, being stuck doing nothing but feed for hours on end day and night. Kept going for as long as I could with ds1 because everyone kept telling me I had to bf. I didn't feel like I had a choice of not bfing. Only started to bond with ds1 once I stopped, and the relief was incredible.
By the time of ds2 I didn't give two hoots what other people thought and did what worked best for me and my family.

stressbucket1 · 29/10/2013 21:01

DD wouldn't latch so I expressed for 8 weeks it was such a relief to switch to formula because I couldnt leave the house between expressing feeding and changing. Expecting DC2 and I am still undecided about what to do definitely not expressing again! Also did anyone feel self conscious bf in public? Didn't get that far last time but it was a worry of mine.

Panzee · 29/10/2013 21:03

First baby, 6 weeks. Stopped due to repeated abscesses and several operations and IV antibiotics.
Second baby, 1 week. Thought it was going fine but then went through agonising pain despite being on a load of drugs after a section. Son stopped peeing so I went to formula. Several months later I think I've spotted a lip tie.

StarlightMcKenzie · 29/10/2013 21:05

Even from newborn I would go out with a nappy and a few wipes in my pocket and nowt else. I don't DO handbags/changing bags/umbrellas or purses and I didn't need to start.

DeathMetalMum · 29/10/2013 21:05

Also no two breastfeeding experiences are the same I didn't really believe my mum when she said this when dd was born, but its true. Dd1 fed all the time for 45mins at a time until over 1 when I started to distract her a little more, she also fed to sleep for all naps/bedtimes until around 1. Dd2 self settled since birth (though not all the time) and has certainly decreased how long she feeds for she can finish a side in 10 mins if she wants to.

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