Formula feeding versus breastfeeding - which did you do and why?

[firstimer30s]

I know there is research in favour of breastfeeding and all the benefits for baby, but aside from that, practically, how did it affect you and baby, whichever you chose?
I know this is a sensitive subject but I'm a first timer and clueless so would appreciate hearing your experiences...
Thanks

I breastfeed (and still do) because I am cheap and lazy. :D

I breastfed. I found it really hard to start with and quite honestly persevered with it solely because of the cost - we would have really struggled to afford formula! I am also far too disorganised to have managed preparing feeds and sterilising bottles etc. After the first six-eight weeks bf was a breeze and I loved it so much I carried on for 14 months and am hugely looking forward to doing it again. Establishing it really was a nightmare though!

I didn't try a bottle until 12 weeks in and found that I hated expressing and DS wouldn't take a bottle anyway so if you are going back to work at three months, it would be sensible to introduce bottles earlier.

I breastfed DD for 2.5 years. I was 18 when I got pregnant and a single mother, but had always wanted to BF (I was breastfed) and was also adamant that I wanted to avoid any kind of teenaged-mother stereotypes (hence I did not want to bottle feed, did not want to use a dummy etc). I went to a breastfeeding support group whilst pregnant, attended NCT classes, read up on everything about breastfeeding and made sure I had support in the early days. I co-slept and followed an attachment parenting type style of parenting.

I think all the preparation and reading made me more determined than ever to breastfeed, even when in the early days it was hugely difficult (my milk didn't come in until day 5, DD lost more than 10% of birthweight IIRC) but I am so glad she never had any formula.

I know how contentious the whole feeding issue is and I have friends who formula fed, but my bottom line is that I want the best for my children and breastfeeding them gives them the best and healthiest start in life. It's natural, free, is beneficial for the mother's health and the child's and is a great way of bonding with one's child.

I also agree about not being able to tell in the long-run, really, and that it does seem such a world-ending decision at the time.

It's really quite straightforward. If you don't want to bf, don't. If you do want to bf, do. If you find you aren't enjoying it, you can't cope being the only one doing all the feeds, it's too painful, the baby isn't thriving etc., then it's not the end of the world if you stop.

Just do what suits you and your family. The 'breast is best' campaign, IMHO, is currently a bit wrong as the NHS is spending money to beat women around the head with the knowledge that they should bf without putting anywhere near enough money into supporting women after their baby is born. All it does is make women feel guilty. From reading around on here, it seems a significant contributory factory to new mums struggling or suffering from PND because they feel such enormous guilt and a sense of failure if bf doesn't work out for them.

Breastfed DD for 3.5 years, although by the end it was really only at bedtime. She never had formula and to this day won't drink cow's milk because 'it doesn't taste like mummy milk'! I love the fact that she has memories of being breast fed even now.

I never intended to go that long. But I was determined to BF for at least a year for all the reasons mentioned above - health benefits, cost benefits, no sterilising, because it's how babies are supposed to be fed, etc.

That said, I think that we are lucky to live in an era and a country where a viable alternative to breast milk is available. For all that I believe that 'breast is best' I also recognise that it isn't always possible for all sorts of reasons.

Ultimately you have to do what works for you and your baby and your family.

Having been brought up to see BF as the norm it was my default choice; fortunately, no insurmountable problems prevented me from doing so.

I also think there is good evidence that breast milk is optimal for babies - it's more than nutrition, it's a living substance that provides other benefits.

As others have said, it's free and I found sterilising a faff (briefly used expressed milk when nipples were sore).

There are some other reasons which probably fall under 'idealogical' but those are more likely to be contentious so I'll leave it there.

If you do plan to MF or FF, I'd agree about introducing a bottle earlier - a friend of mine had absolutely no luck trying to introduce a bottle later on when, for health reasons, her baby taking a bottle would've been a great help.

I know you want practical things - so I did feel I could just go out somewhere (as long as I had some nappies) and see how the day panned out. My friends with babies with formula needed to bring the sterilised stuff and powder, then be near a kettle and cool the milk down. In reality this only happened/was a problem for them a few times.

Then the reverse, in that my husbands family are not keen on breastfeeding "why would you do that?" perhaps I should have been more relaxed about the whole thing, but going to stay with them (usually for 5-7 days at least 3 times a year) I'd have to find a separate room to go to. They would remind me there was a key ie you have to be locked away! And no one would mention breastfeeding or milk EVER (except cow's milk in relation to cups of tea!), but to be fair I think I should have just brought it up in conversation more.

I like a bargain, but even ebf I did buy - for going back to work a hand pump (didn't work for me) an electric pump/ several nursing bras, some bottles (so needed a steriliser too). Overall tho bf got to be cheaper, I've fed 3 babies up to the age of 13 -14 months and used the expressing stuff for milk banking too.

Also (not sure if you would count this as a practical thing?) I have never really dieted (for any length of time anyway) - although i did go through - and probably do still - times when i resolve to eat healthier foods - i would be rubbish at dieting!
It was great to eat more food than normal after the birth (i was a bit more hungry breastfeeding) and still lose the weight - over 6 - 9 months or so. This probably comes across as the most vain and superficial post but I didn't want to end up overweight.

Practically I am awful with no sleep, so safe co-sleeping for me was wonderful, but then at around 9 months each time I had to transition me and them to some other sleep pattern as I went back to work/worked nights /went away, at times etc
Although my husband is v helpful and supportive, there was discussion and no doubt (even before we got married) that babies generally would be me looking after them and him helping. As he was working full time with a long commute I couldn't/wouldn't have asked him to get up in the night to feed or change the baby.

This post is already mahusive but just wanted to say I had so many problems feeding DS1 at the start that once I had overcome it, I felt like I could overcome anything. At the same time i was obsessed with feeding issues for weeks. In retrospect it was a short time but at the time, the days seemed to go on forever and I went from one "problem" to another. It was only obvious to me when I fed my 2nd and 3rd who were, in comparison, a walk in the park to feed.

I tried to bf DS and it was horrible because he wouldn't latch on properly and I had so many different midwives trying to help with different techniques/positions etc. DS was screaming because he was hungry so we started bottle feeding.

I honestly don't think I could handle another experience like that, I will try to bf when I have another baby so they can have the colostrum, but I think I will ff again.

The more I read about bf the more I'm put off tbh. I don't think there is enough real information about bf in antenatal classes and not enough support in real life. I felt totally lost trying to bf DS and if read all the nhs leaflets beforehand etc.

I don't know why people think ff is a ''faff'' I think most people wash up every day, so you just wash the bottles up first and stick them in the steriliser and then wash up your dishes after.

FF worked well for us as I went to bed at 8/9 and DH would give DS a bottle at around 10pm and then I'd give DS another bottle around 2am and again at 6am, so I still got enough sleep and a good 6 hours in a row. I do seem to need about 10 hours sleep so this aspect of ff saved my sanity I think!

I did feel very low because bf didn't work out for us, but as time has gone by I've more or less come to terms with it.

For me there was no decision to be made. Breastfeeding is normal and the way babies should be fed ('should' referring to my babies only of course). It was the ideal food, comfort, drink all wrapped up in a free package. Formula would have been the fall back substitute if for any reason I encountered problems.

Both dc were exclusively bf for 6 months and dd carried on until she was 3 and a half. DS is 2.2 and still breastfeeding. Neither had formula or a bottle.

I breast-fed both my DC. It's free, it's the healthier choice for both mother and baby, once you get over the first few weeks it's easy, there is no faff with bottles, sterilisers, etc, in the middle of the night, all you have to take with you when you go out is nappies, not a big bag full of bottles, and I was lucky enough not to have to rush back to work either time. So, for me, it was a no-brainer. Why would I buy cow's milk when I produce the perfect milk myself, for nothing?

i choose to breastfeed exclusively both my children untill they decided to stop which was toddler aged reasons i choose to breastfeed is it gave a amazing bond its FREE no bottles to clean the health benefits are better and i had no work issues as i am a stay at home mum it was easier overall i intend to breastfeed my 3rd baby due any day now

I bf DS for 6 weeks, then mixed fed to 6mo and then formula.

I bf DD for 10 mo (dairy allergy otherwise I would have mixed fed). Like you I went back to work at 3mo. The expressing was a PITA but doable. I just used to save up reading/reviewing for my expressing breaks. Stopped bf at 12mo and put her onto cows milk (had outgrown dairy allergy as paed predicted).

Why? Mixture of health benefits for them (which paid off- DD avoided 2 lots of norovirus in her first 6 mths which swept through the rest of the family) and tbh some peer/cultural pressure. Exclusive FF with no effort to bf is very very unusual within my circle. Both mine took to it quite easily. Had that not happened I probably would have switched to FF.

I completely agree with Thurlow - yes BF is undoubtedly the best for the baby but the NHS haven't invested enough in supporting women who struggle to BF. I really wanted to BF, I had a c-sec & it totally messed up my plans. I was exhausted, baby was too sleepy due to drugs, he wouldn't latch, I had 3 very stressful weeks of trying every feed every day & expressing. In the end I felt like I was slipping into a pit of depression & we started with formula. Yes, it's a bit of a faff but I felt that having a happy mum was more important than breast milk. Whatever works for you is The Best Thing.

I bf DS1 for 6 weeks, and hated it. He had really bad reflux and I wasn't educated about breastfeeding enough.
I bf DS2 until he was two. Went back to work at 10 months and expressed.
DD is two months old and is currently mix fed. I am phasing out breastmilk as I am starting chemo next week and the drugs are pretty toxic.
I loved the convenience of breastfeeding and the closeness. I also felt that I was giving the babies the best start that I could.
With formula feeding I like knowing how much they are taking and also being able to leave them for a bit if I need to.

I have an 8 week old that I'm breastfeeding. It gives us both a natural relax, cuddle and bond time regularly throughout the day, which is much needed. Bottle feeding is a much quicker process.

When I have my inlaws round I can disappear with my baby when everyone gets a bit too loud and annoying!

As it's now the done thing on the NHS it can seem a bit like they are pushing you to breast feed. But if you really read up on it you'll see that bf and ff are not equal choices. We've only used formulas for the past century and that's not been pushed by necessary but by corporations. If you're interested in educating yourself on breast and formulas, "the politics of breastfeeding" was a life changing book for me.

Sorry to hear about the chemo, weebarra - I hope it isn't too hard on you and that you get well soon

I don't quite think it's as simple as "educating yourself", Bunnylion. I can only speak for myself, but I had read a lot before I made my decision. Sometimes there is a lot more feeding into a decision.

Hope you're doing ok, weebarra.

With DS1 I had real difficulties establishing feeding, including mastitis so bad I was back in hospital when he was 7 days old. Due to that, he had some formula and knew how to use a bottle from very early on.

However, I knew that I was going to be living in a tent for 4 weeks (turned out we got a caravan, but still), then travelling longhaul for 4 weeks, when he was 4-6 months old. I REALLY didn't want to sort out formula and bottles and sterilising and right temperature water through all that.

Added to that was, all the hype about BF, my own stubborn nature that doesn't want to change my mind about stuff, and the cost of formula, and I stuck it out.

I went back to work part time when he was 3 months old (DH and I had alternate days at home with him), and worked full time a couple of weeks when he was 4 months old, and again full time work when he was 7-11 months old.

I had a Medela Symphony pump hired from the hospital for the first block of working, and used a Medela hand pump for the second. DH would sms me each time he fed him, and let me know how much he ate. I would then go to the rest room (bed for those feeling ill, not loo) and pump out the same amount. I put the milk in storage bags into the work freezer, and took it home with me in a little cool bag each night.

DS1 was exclusively BF till weaning, and had his last feed at 13 months old. I stopped because we were TTC.

DS2 is 5 months old and EBF. Again I had pain for ages at the start, but I knew it got better with DS1, so I stuck it out, and now it's fine. I will be home with him until he's almost 1 this time.

I think the feasibility of BF and working must depend a bit on the logistics. Is there somewhere that you can pump without feeling really vulnerable? Can you store the milk? It sounds like you'll have a lot of really long days, so that will mean a lot of pumping. It's doable, but will take commitment from you.

If it is inconvenient, uncomfortable or even impossible for you to pump, mixed feeding is always a possibility, though you'll have to see for yourself at the time how your supply goes.

Good luck! There's loads of good advice here about how it's impossible to tell when kids are older (or even tiny!) what they're fed. Loving caring parents who research what's needed to feed a child safely (BF or formula) are the most important.

Agree with Thurlow. I'd done loads of reading. I was determined to bf. I had a traumatic delivery and couldn't. It's not because I didn't read some book somewhere.
More due to losing 2 units of blood.

Hi OP, I am due my first baby any day now. Planning on formula feeding for the simple reason that I can share the burden with my husband, especially the night feeds and I just think it will be easier and less stressful all round.

Wanted to BF due to inherent laziness and convenience, backed up by the fact that it's simply better nutrition.

Mix-fed for the first month, expressed colostrum then milk, and formula (Aptamil cartons).
DS couldn't latch due to various thing inc tongue ties, jaundice, and being a month early - rubbish combination of things that made BF impossible and very painful for me.
DS was tiny (5lb5oz) and dropped over 10% of birth weight and I firmly believe the formula was key in his regaining weight. He was such a crap feeder that it would have taken twice as long on exclusive BM.

Eventually got his tongue ties and nipple confusion sorted, so stopped giving formula around 4wo, but continued expressing for a while as he still fed better from the bottle.
BF was v painful for the first 4 months for me, and I had constant painful blocked ducts until 9mo.
I then BF until 24mo, almost out of sheer relief that it was finally pleasant!

Looking back I'm glad we persevered and DH was supportive, but if I had known that it would be so painful for so long, I might have dropped BF.
Now pg with DC2, I know won't have the time I did to dedicate to DSs feeding problems if we run into similar issues, so I'll be more comfortable switching to formula.

BF for 12 months - DH has eczema and there is asthma on my side of the family so I wanted to reduce DS' risk of allergies. Exhausting though as DS wouldn't co-sleep because he could smell the milk.

I also agree with Thurlow (your last paragraph made me cry) and a pp; I have a three week old DS who, due to a traumatic delivery, loss of birth weight and jaundice had to be fed expressed milk and now also formula to top up. I cannot count the number of hours I have spent sobbing my heart out believing I have failed my son in some way just because the NHS push breastfeeding so much and I have felt so guilty. I would love to breastfeed exclusively and still secretly hope to if its not too late.

As pp have said the most important thing to do is to go with what you are comfortable with and what is best at the time. Too much emphasis is placed on how the baby is fed and not how happy mum and baby are. I love my son and my heart broke a little every time I tried to feed him and his angry little face told me he wasn't getting what he needed from me :(

I'm so sorry you've been feeling like that, hopelass While I fully support women being encouraged and supported to bf if they want to, and for as long as they want to, it is so sad that women who don't manage it feel so guilty. There must be something wrong with the current way the message is being sold if women feel as though they have failed if bf doesn't work out for them.

It's so difficult not to upset someone if you feel passionately about babies being bf, sleeping in their parents room for 6 months etc, all the current and very excellent guidance. But the reality for many mums is not that simple, and I just wish that people could be nicer about the choices other people make (That's no criticism to anyone on this particular thread)

Oh I know some women have medical problems so can't breast feed, but I'm talking about if you're fully able to and are free to make a choice.

Obviously if you there's a medical reason why you can't and you need formula then it's a wonderful life saving product.

I'm really not trying to offend anyone so please don't be on the defensive.