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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone else feel very sad to think they won't have another baby?

26 replies

lucywiltshire · 22/09/2013 21:01

I am extremely lucky to have 3 gorgeous kids and conceived each one first time despite my age (36, 38 and 40 at conceptions) and would love another one but realise that aged 41 it would be reckless. I can't help feeling so sad though when I think about never having a newborn again (this despite my youngest being only 7 months). Does anyone else feel the same as me and if so how do you get over it?!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Shellywelly1973 · 23/09/2013 00:39

With my last 2 I've said they will probably be my last Babys... Im on no6!

Youngest dc is 5 so quite a big gap so Im saying this will be my last as i now have 3 of each gender.

Who knows, never say never!

Foxeym · 23/09/2013 09:18

Ha never say never, I said this after my last DC 12 years ago and here I am 42 and 36 weeks pregnant!!

princesscupcakemummyb · 23/09/2013 09:59

after my last i said no more babys now im only 26 but thought i was done last one was born in 2011 then i fell preg without knowing and actually lost that baby to a mmc then i decided i did really want another baby and now on dc3 at 34+2 im debating weather to stop after this baby hubby dont want to and part of me dont want to but i just know so we will see haha :)

MsFiremanSam · 23/09/2013 11:39

Yes, very. And my DD is only 6 weeks old. And I HATE being pregnant!
But, those lovely newborn snuggles - nothing beats it. I swore this would be the last one, but I would be very sad to think that I wouldn't experience giving birth again.

DuelingFanjo · 23/09/2013 11:40

yes. DS was born through IVF and I am ancient so I know I won't have another but it does make me feel a twinge when I see people with a newborn or people with several kids all playing together.

On the other hand, I can quite easily count my blessings because I have a much longed for child and so many other people don't.

magicturnip · 23/09/2013 11:44

This has depressedme a bit. I wanted to try and conceive again at 40 but ds won't take bottle so will be 41 before I even stop bf. hearing conceiving at 41 described as reckless hits on all my fears.

TwoStepsBeyond · 23/09/2013 12:08

I do a bit, yes. I also have 3 lovely DC, couldn't wait for the day when youngest started school and I could start to get my life back on track after being a SAHM (& P/T work) for the past 14 years. No plans for any more DCs.

However, I separated from their dad 18 months ago and met gorgeous DP a year ago, he has 2 DCs of his own, so we really do NOT need another DC with 5 between us, I am nearly 40 in my late 30s and we are lucky enough to get one evening most weeks when our DCs are all with their respective other parents so we can go out together.

Having another baby would be absolute madness, but a little part of me still thinks that it would be lovely to share a child with him. I remember early on thinking that someone who was a perfect mix of the two of us would be amazing, he jokes that it wouldn't be fair on the rest of the world to create someone so awesome!

Pinkpinot · 23/09/2013 12:11

Reckless is a bit unfair
I'm 43, desperate for another
Desperately sad too

dannyboyle · 23/09/2013 12:21

Yep. 40 next year and youngest of two is now 15 months. Am split on another, DH really doesn't want to take the risk but I do keep thinking......I could really love another baby. Am sad to think that this could be it.

DumDum32 · 23/09/2013 12:22

I'm 32 and a lone parent to my beautiful DD now 3. I desperately want one more at least so she can have a brother/sister but 2 things stand in my way. one being my health and two being finding a partner! all my friends are on their 3rd or 4th child & every time someone confesses their pregnant I get really sad/depressed. I dont know if I will ever have another but I will keep hoping.

Isabeller · 23/09/2013 12:23

Why do you feel it would be reckless?

RFLmum · 23/09/2013 12:28

Magic - you can get pregnant whilst breast feeding so I wouldn't let that stop me ttc. Personally I don't think 41 is old. Lots of mums in our playground have children in their early and mid 40's. I think it depends how you feel and how much energy you have. Personally I'm exhausted - but then I'm 44 and have twins :-)

magicturnip · 23/09/2013 12:45

Bf is ultimate contraception for me as it is too painful to have sex, though have gp appt to ask for oestrogen cream. Ds feeds extremely regularly ( am trying to change that) so feel it is a contraceptive .

Pannalash · 23/09/2013 12:49

I would have loved another baby, but health problems meant I had a hysterectomy almost 2 years ago, and whilst I have come to terms with it, I still feel sad, even though I have been blessed with two gorgeous children, but was hoping for a third before my problems started.

duvetheaven · 23/09/2013 20:02

Same as Isabelle - just wondering why it would be reckless?

Original poster

lucywiltshire · 23/09/2013 20:08

For me, being 41 and having three young kids I think I'd be reckless to have another as I have zero energy, hate being pregnant, had some health issues with DS2 and while that might not be due to my age there is no guarantee it isn't. If I was 31 I'd have at least one more, but I don't want to push my luck by trying for a 4th (I'd have to wait a bit anyway as DS2 only 7 months). I would be so devastated to have a miscarriage or stillbirth so I do feel I should count my blessings and be content. Not sure if that makes sense but I know what I mean!

OP posts:

Mumof3xx · 23/09/2013 20:11

I do and I am only 25!

nocheeseplease · 23/09/2013 20:19

I can't let myself think about the fact I won't be having any more kids as it really upsets me. We have 3 aged 6, 9 and 12 and dh point blank refuses to have any more. I can understand and do agree with his reasons - lack of space, just getting back on track financially after years of nursery fees etc - but my heart won't listen to my head and I am so incredibly broody it's unreal and feel ridiculously jealous of my friends who have babies and/or are pregnant. Dh wanted to go and get the snip but that's just too final for me atm so I convinced him not to and got an iud fitted, I'm hoping that in 5 years time when my youngest is 11 I'll feel more at peace with the no more babies thing and when it's time for my iud to be taken out I'll be happier for dh to get the snip....

Scarlettsstars · 23/09/2013 20:34

I'm sad too, though I think it's not so much that I want another but that I've got to say goodbye to something important - a sense of possibility if you like. All my life I've lived with the idea that I could get pregnant, have a child, whether that was something - in my teens maybe - that I was scared of and wanted to avoid, or as in my 30s what I desperately wanted but was afraid I couldn't have and then in my late 30s along came dd and ds. Between being 36 and being 40 I've given birth twice and had one miscarriage so these years have been about preparing for pregnancy / being pregnant/ having a newborn / breast feeding / preparing for pregnancy again. Accepting that ill have no more children means saying goodbye to all that. From here on out I'm not 'breeding'. It makes me sad because I feel like this body is a home. It's my home and has sustained my life but its also given new life twice, and tried a third, and sustained those lives through milk and comfort and holding and rocking and all the things you do with a newborn. Now, after I wean DS, it will only sustain me, and when it's my time to go, I'll be the last one out. Does that make sense or am I irretrievably depressed ?

Mamabear12 · 23/09/2013 20:37

I know people who have gotten pregnant while breastfeeding, including myself! If it hurts to be intimate, perhaps use lubricant? That might help.

RFLmum · 23/09/2013 21:28

That was beautiful Scarlet.

Original poster

lucywiltshire · 23/09/2013 21:39

brought a few tears to my eyes :-(

OP posts:

MyNameIsAnAnagram · 23/09/2013 21:43

That was lovely scarlet and makes me understand why I am sad we are having no more even though I don't actually want any more

tombliboouun · 23/09/2013 21:53

Oh Scarlet, I know exactly where you're coming from. I've been pregnant or breastfeeding for 5 years nearly. I have to dc & I crave more. I know I'm a good mother & I have it in me but I worry about spreading myself too thinly. My boys are my world & I have so much more I want to achieve. I don't drive, we have a relatively low net household income & I need to restrain for my own betterment & that of my family.

I just can't help but think I'lll get to menopause deeply regretting not having another child. I'm 29 so time is on my side.

tombliboouun · 23/09/2013 21:54

Two not to

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