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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

the best thing about boys....

52 replies

MrsPatMustard · 12/09/2013 11:42

Had my scan today and found out we're expecting a boy.

To be honest, I've always dreamt of having a daughter and I'm a bit gutted that this is never going to happen (it's unlikely we'll be able to have another child.) I feel incredibly guilty for reacting this way - like I'm the worst mother in the world. Our child seems to be healthy and I'm aware that there are plenty of people who would love to be in my position, but I still can't help feeling sad. I'm worried I'm going to have problems bonding with a boy - are there any nice Mumsnetter out there who can share some nice stories about having boys. I really want to try and shake this sadness off and look forward to the arrival of our son.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Quangle · 12/09/2013 11:46

just to say my boy is so lovely and cuddly, he breaks my heart every day. You will fall in love with your boy and all will be well.

My BIL (who is lovely btw) had a bit of a concern that he wouldn't be able to bond properly with his first born who was a girl because he always imagined having a boy. Now he says he can't imagine her being anyone else - she's his girl.

When your child is with you will fall in love with them, whoever they are. The only thing I don't like about having a boy is the clothes are shit. All else is good. Promise.

WentOnABearHunt · 12/09/2013 11:50

I have two boys - they are the best! - they don't says boys are 'mummys boys' for nothing - i get the best of all the cuddles!!!

Mamabear12 · 12/09/2013 11:55

I understand how you feel. I have one girl and was hoping for another (I know greedy me!). However, following the initial - omg we having a boy!! I knew I would be happy and love him. A lot of people say once u have the baby, u couldn't imagine ever having another - so u will be happy and love baby once he arrives. ESP when their little personalities shine through. I look forward to meeting my son in a month :)

Hodgies · 12/09/2013 11:57

I've got 2 boys and pregnant with my third (gender unknown).

The second they are born they just become your child and you can't imagine any different. Both of mine are very different, they don't look alike and their personalities are like chalk and cheese so I don't think you could say a boy will definitely act one way and a girl another.

I have a 7yo niece who is lovely but very hard work. The strops and attitude in one so young is a bit of a shock. I'm hoping my boys don't have the same!

sleepcrisis · 12/09/2013 11:58

I have a lovely little boy! I didn't know what we were having but always imagined a little girl. Everyone in my life convinced me it would be a girl. Looking back on it, I think I went into shock when he was born and I felt like I wasn't going to bond with him. I didn't know what to call him. Anyway, of course we bonded, because thats what happens when you have a beautiful baby on your chest.

Now I couldn't imagine him any other way. He is 2 and when I see little girls I am so glad I don't have one! I don't think I'd know what to do with one!

I can't really go into a huge list right now of why boys are great, but trust me, they are. We have so many lovely cuddles but he is also quite independent and watching him play is so fascinating.

Plus baby boys clothes are way more fun to buy! No pink and lots of bright colours!

Congratulations - you will fall head over heels when you meet him

deXavia · 12/09/2013 12:01

I was thinking about the last time this subject came up - and yes to all the cuddly stuff, etc but girls can be like this too.... and sometimes these threads get a bit contentious.

However - and not wanted to belittle your worries - i decide the main plus point is boys are just easier on the peeing front. Potty training straight to toilet, Pee by a bush in emergency, Pee standing up, no tights so they can pee by themselves earlier on (down side you do have to go through the hovering outside men's toilet stage!)
So yes boys are fab and boys just pee easier Grin

NationMcKinley · 12/09/2013 12:03

Afternoon! I have 3 boys and they are just fab! I was delighted when our 3rd was another boy. They are cuddly, loving and very funny. I love being the matriarch of my band of boys! Like Hodgies I too have a 7 year old niece who u love dearly. She's wonderful but my God, the histrionics! having said that, she doesn't have the ability to trash a room quite as quickly as my lot. Congratulations, you won't imagine it any other way once he's here SmileFlowers

ShatnersBassoon · 12/09/2013 12:05

They'll wear what they're given, they don't have One Direction posters on their walls, they don't fall out with their friends very often, they don't ask me to paint their nails, they don't want to come shopping with me, they fart in time to the Countdown theme tune, they don't get fake tan and mascara on the hand towels...

I could write a list of the good things about having a girl as well. It's swings and roundabouts. You're just a bit surprised that what you imagined isn't actually happening, but you've got no worries, honestly. Boys can be as wonderful as girls can be, and as awful.

strawberrypenguin · 12/09/2013 12:06

Why are these threads always anti-boy? Boys are not second class citizens. You chose to have a child not a gender ffs.

MrsPeeWee · 12/09/2013 12:10

I am not going to lie, DS is now 5.5 years old and when I was at my scan all those years ago and found out he was a boy, I had a little gutted feeling also, same happened with my DSIL. I look back now and realise how completely silly I was. My DS is the absolute love of my life and words could never explain how much I love him. I bonded with him straight away and was/am completely besotted.

Things I love about his personality -
He is so incredibly loving, whereas girls aren't as much. He cuddles, kisses and tells me he loves me all the time. I really feel boys have a deep bond with their mothers. They need their hands holding just that little bit longer. He was/is easy work, so chilled and laid back - not fussy. My nephew is the same, so I believe it is a strong male trait.
One of the main things I adore about him is his humour - he is the funniest little man ever. He has me crying with laugher.

Both male and female have good/bad points and no single child is the same. The moment you give birth to your darling son, I promise it will no longer matter. You will look at him in complete awe and will be besotted and the sex of the baby is then the last thing on your mind, all you will keep thinking is 'he is mine, he is part of me and he is perfect' - I promise. In fact, we chose to keep DS as an only child. He is all we ever want/wanted.

Congratulations. Smile

crazykat · 12/09/2013 12:10

IME boys are mummy's boys, my two are anyway. My girls are daddy's girls and I could spontaneously combust as soon as DH gets home and try wouldn't notice - until they were hungry.

Boys are lovely and great fun always up to something.

Quangle · 12/09/2013 12:11

probably strawberry because lots of women imagine having girls just as lots of men imagine having boys and it's women who start these threads but lots of men feel the same - see my comment about my BIL. It's not anti-boy . It's women giving birth to a gender that's not their own - it's part of the weirdness of giving birth at all.

I think it's very natural to think, when someone is "flesh of your flesh" that they will be the same as you. Having a boy, as a woman, is your first reminder that your children are not you. Men go through exactly the same sorts of thoughts but perhaps less viscerally because they haven't built every cell of this new little body from their own cells!

CinnabarRed · 12/09/2013 12:13

I have three boys, and among the many things I adore about having them is that they are all so different.

That really emphasised to me that their personalities are nothing to do with their gender.

NationMcKinley · 12/09/2013 12:13

Afternoon! I have 3 boys and they are just fab! I was delighted when our 3rd was another boy. They are cuddly, loving and very funny. I love being the matriarch of my band of boys! Like Hodgies I too have a 7 year old niece who u love dearly. She's wonderful but my God, the histrionics! having said that, she doesn't have the ability to trash a room quite as quickly as my lot. Congratulations, you won't imagine it any other way once he's here SmileFlowers

NationMcKinley · 12/09/2013 12:15

Gah! Why has my phone posted this twice? Why?!Angry

princesscupcakemummyb · 12/09/2013 12:20

hello i have 2 daughters now expecting a boy i was a lil suprised when i got told the gender this time but after like half hour i was jumping for joy that im getting a son my own little boy Grin im due in early november you will be fine Smile

ShowOfHands · 12/09/2013 12:24

Firstly, there's nothing wrong with having a preference. It's human nature and it's okay to feel disappointed. People who have never experienced it won't understand, but it is what it is and it's better to acknowledge it and get over it.

Secondly, it makes no difference whether you have a boy or girl. Not to how much you love them and not to who they are. Your child will have its own specific personality, a mixture of you, your dp and something unique all of his own. The sex is merely a fact of what's between their legs. You can't know who they'll be. You can know though, I promise you, that they will be the most breathtaking, extraordinary, marvellous and adorable child you have ever known.

I don't particularly like what happens on these threads. People will state things which aren't true about boys being cuddly or mummy's boys or the other way round, girls are more loyal to their parents and boys sod off and get married and never visit. It's all bollocks. Take the 'boys are cuddly' line, most children are. Nearly all children enjoy affection from a primary caregiver and it shouldn't be so remarkable that a boy is cuddly or affectionate. They're no more or less affectionate than girls but this weird thing we have about males being standoffish and non-demonstrative translates into being amazed that a little boy is affectionate. Of course they are. You are their entire world. Same as with little girls. The other thing which happens is that people denigrate the other sex in order to cheer you up. Oh thank God, no pink, no bitchiness, no falling out with friends. Well, who's to say that a boy won't wear pink or a girl will? It's all a load of stereotyping and ironically, in trying to celebrate little boys, people denigrate little girls. Hardly fair.

I have one of each btw. They're complete and utter individuals but actually they go against the stereotypes in many ways and conform in others, just as you'd expect. DS's favourite colour is pink, DD's is brown. DD adores Marvel and superheroes and comic books and is very outdoorsy and tomboyish but also musical and bookish. DS is extremely sensitive and quiet and bookish, wears pink a lot and likes to dance but loves tools and tractors. They are this exquisite and perfect mix of all the things they want/need to be.

It won't matter in the end. I promise. Buy your son an outfit and hang it in the corner of the room and know it's for him. All of him. The person he will be. And know that who he is will not be decided by the presence of his penis.

Congratulations. You'll be fine.

BelleEtLaBaby · 12/09/2013 12:31

Clothes shopping for little boys is less exciting.

Toy shopping for boys is awesome

I grew up in an all girl house, with mainly girl mates, and am a pretty girly girl. Not a pink princess but I am pretty girly as women go. All my friends had girls. When I found out DS1 was a boy i was mostly terrified - I had no idea about boys! What would he like/play with/watch etc?

Turns out having boys (DS2 due any day) is excellent fun. My boy is so sweet and cuddly and gorgeous.

I was also at a wedding of some close friends recently (quite a posh do). The father of the bride, a lovely jolly bloke, came over to chat to me and DH and asked if we knew what we were having. When I said another boy, he roared with laughter, kissed me, shook DH's hand then declared it was wonderful as we'd never have to pay for a wedding! Funny and old fashioned but a very funny moment. :)

BelleEtLaBaby · 12/09/2013 12:33

Oh - and DS1 and I spent an hour playing 'hair dressers' last night. I looked 'soo bootiful' by the time he was done with me - and I liked the result so much I might take to wearing Octonauts as hair accessories full time ;)

BelleEtLaBaby · 12/09/2013 12:35

Bottom line - all kids are gorgeous and lovely. Enjoy - and congratulations :)

ChunkyPickle · 12/09/2013 12:48

Aww they're all lovely (I have 2 boys) - but I can't say I'm not grateful that I don't have to brush long hair (or deal with relatives being disappointed if I cut a girl's hair short)

And having watched my sister change her daughter's nappy I'm very, VERY grateful that I only have to clean poo from around a penis, not from a whole other set of folds!

MrsPatMustard · 12/09/2013 12:51

Thanks guys. I feel terribly guilty vocalising this out loud so it really helps to discuss it here. Appreciate your good wishes and sentiments.

We have yet to agree on a boys name, but we managed to find a girl's name we both liked at about 6 weeks. In hindsight this probably hasn't helped because it made the idea of a girl seemed more tangible. I think it will take a bit of time to get used to the idea that 'Martha' isn't real and life is going in a different direction. It won't be a Martha, it will be another person with their own personality. It's not a bad thing, it's just different to what I envisaged. That's what I have to keep in mind.

Thanks all. x

OP posts:
ShatnersBassoon · 12/09/2013 13:01

Arthur? Grin

Sorry Blush

mrsyattering · 12/09/2013 13:41

I have a girl and a boy, my ds is way more affectionate than his sister...and has less of an attitude (school has a lot to answer for Wink)
I love them both equally. You will just fall in love with your baby, and wonder what you were ever worried about Smile

sleepcrisis · 12/09/2013 14:00

Mine was going to be a Martha! I also mourned that name for months!

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