Things not to say to a woman who is over 41 weeks pregnant

[mynameisnotmichaelcaine]

"Have you tried sex/curry/pineapple?" Oh! No! I've never heard of those things! I can't read you see, so haven't actually bothered to look up online if there are any natural ways of inducing labour, because I really enjoy looking and feeling like an elephant with weight issues.

"Are you still here?" Erm, evidently yes.

"Haven't you had that baby yet?" Evidently not.

Also do not to a comedy double take when you see that the bump is still in place.

Luckily dh did both school runs today, or I may have been tempted to commit murder.

Acceptable things to say include "would you like a cup of tea?" and "Good morning!" You know, like you would say to a normal human being, rather than a bump on legs.

I had 6 people ask me today when I am due (next week) then followed up with 'ooh not long now then. Do you know what you're having?' Literally, all 6 of them at different times. I can't keep having the same conversation over and over!! I am making a sign...

at 42 weeks pregnant, when people still kept saying "haven't had that baby yet then?" i took to responding with "yes, i have, i've left him at home playing with matches while i nip out for fags"

I had some little bastard run round me orbiting me when I was overdue. Little shit. I'd have clobbered him if I could have moved fast enough.

"Haven't had it yet?"

"Have you tried..."

"Not long now then"

"You must be SO EXCITED!! EEE!!"

Oh I could go on. My nice neighbour sees me every day, and every day says "you, young lady, are still pregnant". He's lovely usually so I just smile but I want to shout "No SHIT?!"

I'm not even a full week overdue. sigh

I had daily texts asking if I'd had it yet - from my brother! "Yes, 3 wees ago - I just wanted to keep it secret from you"!!??! I have had a lot f practice at temper-keeping, both mine went 2 weeks over. I've added 2 weeks to ths ones EDD....!

MakeHay my mil rang daily when I went over with dc3 to ask if I'd had it yet why she thought we wouldn't tell her I have no idea

Also, the people who back up looking startled or say things like "so you could go into labour at any time ohmygod!"

Don't worry love, if I go into labour I'm not planning to stick around, so don't busy yourself with towels and hot water thanks.

Oh and I forgot. DM rings daily (which she never does) insisting that she's not checking on me, and citing a whole range of 'reasons' to call - how is DS1, how is DH, did my new headboard arrive ok (it did, 2 weeks ago and she's seen it?!

She ends every single conversation with a detailed breakdown of her whereabouts for the next 24h (work, or home) and what times she'll be driving home from work so wont be able to answer the phone before saying "let me know, won't you?"

I actually called her on it and said as if I wouldn't let her know and to please stop going on about it. She seemed surprised, promised not to nag, then completely forgot and at the end of the call said 'let me know, won't you"

Grr.

All of the above, plus "Wow, you're huge"... I know I'm fucking huge - oddly enough none of my normal clothes fit me so I had noticed.

DS finally bothered to put in an appearance at 40+13. I was getting very stabby by that point. Although I did enjoy the panicked looks on people's faces if they asked when I was due and my reply was 'two weeks ago'

Oh, that was another one... "Should you be out on your own?"

Yes, my mother-in-law is in extremely regular contact. Given that she is having both older kids when I go in, it's fairly unlikely that I wouldn't tell her if I were to go into labour. Sigh

There should be a commune somewhere where overdue women can go to live, and people serve them food and drink and don't ask them any questions at all!

My friend was round earlier and she said "I'm so sick of people at work asking me if you've had your baby yet!" She caught the look on my face and quickly added "Oh, it's much worse for you!" She's a good 'un :D

I went to 42 weeks with DS1, my personal fave was " two weeks? You're huge, oooh that's going to hurt" righto, thanks very much. Wanker.

Bumped into a school mate who was about 38 weeks pregnant, and she told me when she was due... Bumped into her right around the due date she had early told me, and she still looked quite pregnant and I completely overlooked the newborn baby that was in her pram and said, "When are you due then? It must be getting close!", cue very pointed look towards the pram...

I've learned that the best thing to say to a woman who is 41 weeks pregnant is absolutely nothing about the pregnancy, as I can't be trusted not to be a total dick

'Haven't you hatched yet?'

Oh yes, the classic "that's going to hurt". Yep, it'll hurt if I kick you in the nethers too, which I might do if you persist. Also, I had a baby exactly on time, and as far as I recall, that hurt quite a lot too!

Oh dear Reggie! I think you're right; saying nothing about the pregnancy is probably the safest way for all concerned.

I think that being overdue and how to cope with it is something they never tell you about at your antenatal appointments!

I was induced with my son at 42 weeks and he still took 2 days to come! I was 16 days overdue in the end and I thought I was going to go barmy!

I think it's more a question of educating the general public on how not to further damage the mental health of the extremely pregnant woman! I'd be fine if it weren't for blooming other people!

Oh god, this is all so true! And there are so many ways for people to check if you've had it yet. I woke up to a text, a FB message, a whatsapp message and a tweet asking me. And then three phone calls. Nice to be thought of - but I will let them know!

Sign me up for the commune!

If this happens to me I will be pointing out I am not 'overdue' until I am a past 42 weeks.... After 40 you are just post dates. Normal gestation is 37-40 weeks ffs!

I am also 41 weeks.. I am a hermit.. So don't have to listen to it.

By also dm rings a lot too... Didn't before. Mil rings too but is suffering from depression, as does my own.. It is getting me down.

Booked hair tan and brows today to cheer myself up.

Had all the curry/sex/castor oil suggestions from people offering such gems in a tone of voice that implied that these were rare and arcane secrets not readily available on the Internet or anywhere else.

Also had my Dsis ringing on a daily basis to ask if I'd had the baby yet. My reply, invariably, was "Do you really think you wouldn't have been told if I had?". Did bugger all good. At 41.5 she rang my mobile, I told her I'd just come out of Specsavers, we chatted on about glaucoma tests for several minutes and then she asked if I'd gone into labour yet. I think I may have descended into sarcasm for the purposes of my reply.

Sign me up for the commune - but do me a favour and let's build it somewhere there's no phone signal? ;)

DMIL turned up unannounced today, let herself in (door always unlocked so this is fine and DH works at home) then woke me up to ask if I thought I might be having any 'signs'

No. I was asleep good thing I love her to bits

mrspaddy, I wish I could be a hermit, but would feel a bit bad making a 7 and 9 year old see themselves to school! Otherwise I just don't think I would go anywhere! I asked my Dad to drive me to a supermarket on the other side of the city yesterday so that I wouldn't have to see anyone I knew in Tesco!

Oh my goodness Belle! Obviously not any signs that were enough to actually wake you up from your slumber!

I was on the sofa, to be fair. So not as if she shook me out of bed. But still. Thanks, DMIL :D

:D My MIL informed me "today would be a good day!" yesterday. As though I am controlling when this baby is going to be born. Admittedly it must be a bit irritating for her, as she is on-call for having the others, but even so, it elicited a bit of a deep sigh.

My childless sister keeps saying, 'isn't there something you should be doing?'

Good thing I luffs her too :)