Is it 'normal' to dislike your partner during pregnancy? Lol

[Cally123]

Hi ladies,

So before we got pregnant we got on like a house on fire. I was completely besotted by him and truly believed he was my soul mate. Then as the pregnancy developed I started to find him more and more irritating! Like the little things he continually does make me want to poke his eyes out.

For instance; I have terrible morning sickness and the smallest thing can set me off and one is his deodorant he uses. I have told him many times to not spray it around me, so what does he do... Sprays it on himself for a good 20 seconds EVERY morning at 6am when he's up for work. It is driving me insane, and no matter how many times I tell him it just doesn't stop him!

Also in my opinion I think he's quite selfish at the moment. I have been signed off work for four weeks because my sickness is that bad (throw up like every 20 minutes and never a point where I don't feel sick!) so I can barely get anything done, and little things he will ignore like I say could you please make me a cup of tea before you leave when he makes his own in his flask every morning anyway and his response was 'no I can't babe I'm going to be late for work' then he will stand there for a good ten minutes showing me how he can make weird shapes in his beard by shaving!! Like really?! What the hell!

Haha these are just the examples that have happened so far this morning in less than an hour believe me there is plenty more! I just don't know whether I'm being ridiculous or if its the hormones? But it's starting to worry me because this is my first child, we are engaged and I've just been questioning lately whether or not choosing to have a baby with this man was the right choice? As I plan to be with him forever but how would that ever work when all he does is infuriate me at the moment!?

So yeah, sorry for the massive rant but definitely needed to get it off my chest! Any experiences or similarities or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Have a good day. Cally x

I found my DH intensely irritating during pregnancy, especially during the first and third trimesters!
I think from what I have read that it is quite common but not many people admit to it.

No offense, but he sounds like a total dick. Seriously. He won't even make you a cup of tea? He won't change a tiny habit of where he puts his deodorant on? Has he always been a selfish twat? Does he do anything nice?

He sounds like a child.

That's how I'm feeling about him at the moment! Haha admittedly at times he will do a lot for me but there is also frequent times when he behaves like a complete twonk! Just slowly starting to question my sanity.

I loathed mine for the first 4 months. We argued non stop, he was unsupportive and didn't see, to care that I was pregnant.

Looking back I was terrified, feeling like death, unreasonable and hell to live with. My dh was suddenly faced with an irrational, moody and frankly, awful wife. Not saying you are any of these things, just that i was :)

Am now 32 weeks and he is the most loving and supportive he's ever been and I've fallen in love with him all over again. And I am not a big sentimental person usually!

So hang in there. I found early pregnancy the pits and was knocked sideways by my hormones and how I felt.

Totally normal.

I don't want to speak to DH at the moment after being treated like a slave by his family last weekend and he knows I am cross so suggested going shopping for new baby bank holiday weekend (trying to pacify me) then last night came home from meeting of DS's rugby coaches and asked DS if he wants to go get the pitches ready the day we were supposed to be going shopping.

Am fuming.

Got no where to bloody put all baby stuff till he decorates rooms anyway so everything is bloody pointless.

Oh and yes he bloody smells , not his deodorant but him , manly smell I going horrid at the moment,

So I am with you conpletely.

Thank you Kelly very reassuring! I definitely have changed and should probably give him more credit than I do but he's just so god damn irritating haha! Although I do think I'd struggle living with anyone at this moment in time so doubt it would just be him I found annoying if I was with someone else constantly.

Looks like I'm going to have to grit my teeth and try my best not to stab him with a fork when he chomps loudly around me! Haha strange how much has changed really just hope we return back to our loving selves when little one is finally here! Very much hoping my story turns out like yours Kelly!

Thank you ladies for all the comments :) a little relieved... It's not just me! Haha x

Haha Madamecastafiore your comment made me giggle! Mainly because that's exactly how I am feeling... It is driving me insane!

Seems we've both got two very infuriating partners who seem to think that pregnancy is a walk in the park and they needn't do anything and continue their normal lives grr.

I can definitely understand your annoyance! How far gone are you? Fingers crossed we don't completely loathe our husbands before our pregnancies are over haha. Thank you again for your comment, all very reassuring that I'm not a lunatic!

I think everything is annoying while you're pregnant and having this one person in your space all the time they're going to annoy you the most. Everything DH did while I was pregnant made me furious, we had blazing rows over things that I wouldn't have given a shit about before, I can remember crying because he put the biscuit cutters in the cutlery drawer and I thought how can I live my life with a man who doesn't share my views on where the biscuit cutters should be? Obviously ridiculous. Towards the end I couldn't even stand the smell of him. It all went away once the baby was born.

Some of these comments I find so funny because that's how I feel right now haha when you see it written down it just seems so petty and ridiculous yet when it's happening and I'm around him I feel so strongly about it all haha.

That's exactly how I felt the other day when he bought best of both bread I just sat and thought how can this ever work when he doesn't even buy then bread I like hahaha! Ah the joys of pregnancy.

Definitely beginning to relax about this issue!

OMG the deodorant!! Asking nicely day after day had no effect 'could you please put that on in the bathroom as I am super sensitive to smells at the moment' It's not until I shout at him that he takes any notice!! (That's not the only example) Then I'm accused of being over the top.

Oh Lord - I found DP to be THE most irritating human alive during my first trimester. It wasn't just his deodorant but him that smelled terrible to me and I couldn't let him lie in bed facing me otherwise I would have attacked him!

This has all settled down a bit now thankfully but he does still say and do things which make me want to either hurt him or walk away. I know that they would possibly irritate me anyway but not to this extent! I am hoping once I've had the baby I can become more balanced.

Wow! Crazy how much I agree with all these posts haha yes day in day out I'm telling him and then he thinks if he does it quickly it won't count it's like arghhhh I'm going to shove that where the sun doesn't shine in a minute.

Oh yes it's always us women being over the top and silly, I'm sure he won't be saying that when next time I opt to puke over him because of his stupid deodorant! Ah deary me...

DH used to eat these horrible chicken flavour crisps that stank and I made him eat them in the garden, he complied!

Tell him something like the deodorant fumes are bad for the baby if you breathe them in, he might take that more seriously? I used that one a lot, "can you carry my bag it's bad for the baby?"

Have 12 weeks to go and I the sort of person who has everything organised but him, he just has to organise painting 2 rooms and moving some furniture.

I know if I have to speak to him about it I will flip and he will know I am insane!

But the fucking rugby pitch. It's because he is a big child and wants to use the line marking machine.

If only eh!!!!!

I'd chuck his deodorant and make holes in all of the tea bags the way I am feeling!!!

Xena I'm totally the same I'm like 'go on breathe on me one more time and see what happens!!!' Haha kinda like a ticking time bomb at the moment and the smallest things can set me off.

Yes I'm also hoping things will change once baby is here. Pretty screwed if not lol. All the best with your pregnancies ladies and thank you to everyone who's taken the time to reply to me again it's greatly appreciated received!x

Clubsoda will definitely be taking that one on board haha. Usually freaks out when I say things like that... Could be on to a winner! Haha

It sounds more like your partner is an inconsiderate arse than that you're annoyed with him unnecessarily.

It's not necessarily 'normal' to loathe your partner during pregnancy. But neither is it normal for a man to be such a knob.

OMG Cally - you could have written this about me! I was going to post the exact same title this morning after another evening of arguements and deodorant spraying this morning at 6am AGAIN! And the sleeping with his mouth open facing me - I just want to put a shower curtain up around my side of the bed! aaaaarrrrggh!
Everything he says and does is irrationally irritating me atm. We got married 4 months ago and have been all loved up then I get PG and Ive turned into an arsy irritable monster!
Even his bare feet annoy me! wtf?! lol!

Oh and when he gets into bed he doesnt just get into bed he sort of flumps into it making the mattress bounce and me feel more sick - Im going to puke on his side of the bed next time he does it!

I always despite poor dp two days before my period. I start questioning everything we have and wonder if I could go it alone.

As soon as period arrives I'm fine. He knows he also knows I love him luckily. He sometimes jokes that I'm looking at him like that and says "oh I'm in the get my stuff and leave period aren't I?"

Funnily whilst I was pregnant I was fine!

I'm by no way condoning any form of physical violence but I was actually smacking his shoulders in sheer frustration yesterday (he is very well built so this had no affect) he came home at 11.30pm after drinking with a buddy, no contact all evening to let me know when he'd be home. I'd texted him and said I'm going to bed make as little noise as possible please when you get back and DO NOT turn on the very noisy/fan bathroom light...what happens, 15 minutes of drunken clomping around and the bathroom + light goes on arrrrgggghhhhh!!!! Most seem to try but they can't sustain genuine concern/interest for 9 months so they will often fail I'm realising.

At least he's recognised he has been a bit of a wally at times (but amazing at others!) and I'm being treated to a surprise day out Sat with some pressies too apparently...I wait with baited breath!

I am definitely very intolerant whilst pregnant (I think it was one of the things that put my husband off going for no 2, though when I convinced him, we got pregnant first month and it turned out to be twins, so that has been a shock for both of us. OTOH I don't feel as "taken care of" at home as I think a pregnant woman should and that annoys me greatly.
I think a lot of men just don't get it that you may feel rough continuously for a long time (I certainly did with this twin pregnancy). It's only now that I am obviously massive, swollen, breathless and struggling to even turn over in bed that the reality of the physical situation for me is hitting home, and he's being as lovely and supportive and he can manage through the fear if how we'll cope once the babies are born.
But it would be unfair to place all the blame at his door in my case - his normally warm, loving and rational wife has been replaced by an over emotional harpy who has totally lost interest in food and sex. Heigh ho, hope I can find my way back to normality at some point ...

Xenadog I was the same! Couldn't stand the smell of DH or the dog! And he has one drawer in the bedroom chest of drawers which he never shuts properly and it's driving me insane! To the point of kicking it shut in anger myself!

Emily we must be the exact same because he does this every time we are in bed makes me feel like I'm on a bleeding bouncy castle and then he will fidgit for ages! Then if he needs the toilet it's not oh I will consider my pregnant partner next to me I will make as much noise as possible and his response is 'I can't help it if I'm heavy footed' huh say what?!

Really am loving this responses definitely cheering me up. I guess being irrational does have it plus sides, I'm sure were all going look back at this one day and laugh!

Cheerymum that's wonderful news I would love to have twins! Although I can imagine it is a huge struggle but I'm sure you will be perfect parents. How long have you got left? Pregnancy isn't fun with one let alone two so sending my love.

Burbgirl - you lucky so and so! Haha I'd love a day out but with my current state I don't think a public breakdown would be wise haha. Hope you enjoy it! We too have a very noisy fan but I'm usually already awake by his ridiculously loud stomp on the way to the bathroom.

Missantithetic lucky you because this is currently looking like 9 months of hell haha. Crazy what hormones can do to us isn't it!

Again wishing all of the the best in your pregnancies x