Is it 'normal' to dislike your partner during pregnancy? Lol

[Cally123]

Hi ladies,

So before we got pregnant we got on like a house on fire. I was completely besotted by him and truly believed he was my soul mate. Then as the pregnancy developed I started to find him more and more irritating! Like the little things he continually does make me want to poke his eyes out.

For instance; I have terrible morning sickness and the smallest thing can set me off and one is his deodorant he uses. I have told him many times to not spray it around me, so what does he do... Sprays it on himself for a good 20 seconds EVERY morning at 6am when he's up for work. It is driving me insane, and no matter how many times I tell him it just doesn't stop him!

Also in my opinion I think he's quite selfish at the moment. I have been signed off work for four weeks because my sickness is that bad (throw up like every 20 minutes and never a point where I don't feel sick!) so I can barely get anything done, and little things he will ignore like I say could you please make me a cup of tea before you leave when he makes his own in his flask every morning anyway and his response was 'no I can't babe I'm going to be late for work' then he will stand there for a good ten minutes showing me how he can make weird shapes in his beard by shaving!! Like really?! What the hell!

Haha these are just the examples that have happened so far this morning in less than an hour believe me there is plenty more! I just don't know whether I'm being ridiculous or if its the hormones? But it's starting to worry me because this is my first child, we are engaged and I've just been questioning lately whether or not choosing to have a baby with this man was the right choice? As I plan to be with him forever but how would that ever work when all he does is infuriate me at the moment!?

So yeah, sorry for the massive rant but definitely needed to get it off my chest! Any experiences or similarities or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Have a good day. Cally x

Bizarrely, my parents began to irritate me when I was pregnant with dc1!
Dh had to make coffee in the garden for a while as well.
Why don't you buy him a roll on deodorant and chuck out the spray.
And I can't believe he won't make his sick pregnant wife a tea in the morning. That's really mean.

Cally Lol! ahh yes the heavy footed stomp to the bathroom, light switch and fan combo!

And then whilst I am now wide awake and angry he plops back into bed and starts snoring the bastard!

He also plays a game on his phone if he is struggling to drop off - but the light from that is irritating too! argh! everything is irritating! lol!

You remember Bridget Jones 2 when Bridget is in jail in Thailand and all of the other women are telling her that they hate their partners because they beat them or sent them out to be prostitutes etc? And Bridget said she hates Darcy because of the way he folds his underpants or is a neat freak and then realised her complaints aren't in quite the same league?
That is what your post reminded me off, OP, made me giggle. It's only because you're pregnant, don't worry about it. When you think of it, men cannot possibly empathise with pregnancy, nothing has really changed in their world whereas ours has completely changed upsidedown in every way and as if that wasn't enough, hormones cause us to be completely irrational sometimes.
Some men are better at trying to empathise than others I guess.
I say don't sweat it too much, least he sending you out to works the streets

*isn't!

Cally I'm 32+4, hoping to get to 36 but may not due to some growth issues with one if the babies - on the countdown!
If it helps at all most people get a patch in the middle of the pregnancy where the nausea settles and the emotional craziness does too - so your partner will become less annoying because you'll want less from him - lower expectations for him to fail to meet!! And by the third trimester he'll most likely be approaching a more similar page to you about the whole reality of the thing and (hopefully) treat you in the goddess-like way you deserve!
Had a look at a book called "how to baby proof your marriage" - I thought it was pretty good and am going to order a copy from Amazon. Basically it's the distilled (and wuite funny) wisdom of lots of interviews with couples about how pregnancy and children changed things for them and how they coped - I certainly recognised some familiar frustrations of mine and my husband's there. Because if being pregnant puts a spanner in a relationship, raising the resulting child certainly does x10!! Worth being proactive and having a look at it with your fiancé if he's up for it. IIRC it's much more about child rearing than pregnancy, but honestly that part will be the bit that REALLY impacts your relationship, because it lasts for a really long time!! At least your blood-hound like sense of smell and sensitivity to mattress movement will pass soon!!

Aww Cally I know exactly how you feel. I am 14 weeks today and still puking, been off work for 8 weeks. OH has to put deodorant on in the other room and not come back into our bedroom again before he leaves for work or the smell sets me off. He also does the throwing himself into bed thing and when I ask him to be a bit more careful he looks at me like I'm unreasonable haha I've taken to walking around the house with a pack of spearmint pools under my nose like I'm living through the plague or something.

Every bloody thing annoys me at the moment, it's nothing personal to him.

I feel like my sickness is slowly disappearing now, how far along are you, are you taking anything for it?

Buy him this book.

Pregnancy for Men

It explains to men how pregnancy feels and why we need a bit of extra TLC - plus handy things they can practically do to help through pregnancy.

Maybe highlight bits for him

SeriousStuff I couldn't bear the smell of the dog either - she didn't smell doggy just "odd" which turned my stomach. I nearly sent DP to go and sleep with her in her basket! Oh and the smell of the dishwasher kills me even now. YuK!

DP has just done my head in too. He came home from work, I was asleep on the sofa but he woke me up and I had pains in my lower left side - think it's ligaments stretching. So nothing too serious but a tad worrying. So I try to check online if these pains are just part and parcel of pregnancy and he starts wittering on at me about cake in the freezer. Then he goes off and says he will bring me a piece in but when he comes back to the lounge he has 2 slices of cake smeared in nutella and they are obviously both for him. Where's my piece of plain cake?

This was enough for me to just want to throw the lap top at him!

He then comes back in with a piece of cake for me and says: "I only want to love you." I had to remind him I am in pain, pregnant, tired and he forgot my cake. Seriously it IS a hanging offence today!

I know exactly what people mean about mattress thing - why can't they just get into bed normally?! My partner throws himself on and it actually makes me move and the wooden slats of the bed make a sound like they're going to break! I've told him so many times to stop it and he just says that's how he's always got into bed?!

Also agree re 'man smell' - when your sickness is bad it's horrible!

I'm sure he'd complain about me going from a happy, relaxed woman to a constantly tired, somewhat moody one but i don't think they can ever really understand how pregnancy makes you feel! Bring on the bump so at least i'll have a physical sign - they think the first 3 months is ok as you're not carrying a huge bump around but my reckoning is that it's the worse part!x

This thread has given me the giggles!!!

I'm almost 8 weeks pregnant and am constantly exhausted and generally feeling pretty crappy.

As life would have it, my husband is a teacher so he has the Summer off, having lovely lie-ins and lazing around the house whilst I'm dragging myself to work every day, looking and feeling like sh*t

I came home from work the other day, feeling really, really lousy and I walked into the kitchen and I have NEVER seen so much mess!! Two days worth of washing up was cluttering the surfaces, the kitchen floor was a mess and there were clothes still hanging on the clothes horse which had been dry for days!! Hubby sauntered down the stairs to say hello and when I asked him what he'd been doing with his day, he said, "Not much." Quite.

As if I wasn't annoyed enough, he then said, "I know you have been feeling really hungry lately so I went to ASDA to get some ingredients for tea so you can cook us something nice." So then, there I was, knackered from being at work, standing in the dirtiest kitchen and preparing dinner whilst my husband tells me, "I'm just going to go back upstairs and finish watching a film I've started

I just don't think they get it!!!!

This is just brilliant. My husband smells like broccoli and cabbage when i am pregnant.... he turns my stomach, poor man. so does my children's morning breath....and don't get me started on farts.....i could literally get violent if any of them fart near me yet i am so windy myself i cannot stop!!!

Things are so bad that i have actually moved to the bottom of the bed so my and my DH who i utterly adore when not pregnant are top n tailing like five year olds on a sleep over......

i do know from experience that it passes but man o man, whilst it is occurring it is v difficult not to pack a bag, get on a plane and live like a single woman..... ;)

Haha love these posts! My partner is also driving me mad..also keeps wearing a deodorant that makes me gag, keeps asking when I'm goin to be fun again and seems unable to do any house work! I definately do not bloom during pregnancy and know that I'm a miserable and tired wreck but I wish he could be a bit more understanding! RAH blooming men!!!

Today DH smells of overcooked cauliflower!!!!

I'm only 6 weeks and I already HATE dp. I have been evil to him today but he deserved it. Nobber.

I have been on the sofa all day and feeling like shit whilst hubby has been playing cricket. He came home at 8.30pm and offered to make me something to eat, telling me there are 2 mini pizzas in the freezer. Great I thought. He then appears with 2 black, crispy, unappetising pizzas because he 'forgot to check on them'. My only option was to try and scrape off some of the topping and it was disgusting. I had about 3 forkfuls. He then finished off the last pizza and told me it wasn't too bad! I told him to fuc*ing have my sickness, i have to force myself to eat and then tell me it isn't too bad! He then sat and had his dinner of hot dogs and chicken Kiev. He's at the pub now.

He has also asked me if I can drop him off at his football ground tomorrow morning (he plays in a Sunday team) so he can have something to drink at the Post Game BBQ! Just what I want to do, get up and out before 10am when I always wake up feeling like utter crap.

Men! I'm sure they mean well, but bloody hell!!!

Eurghh DH came home today reeking of alcohol (yes on a Monday). I hate him when he is like this; short tempered, argumentative and cold. I have just come in to the spare room to sleep as i just don't want to be near him. I can't bear the smell of it, guaranteed he will snore and his whole energy/demeanour is repulsive to me. I just sneezed while lying flat on my back which gave me a real sharp pain in my lower abdomen (ligaments i guess). I was clearly in pain and he completely ignored me. Nothing caring or nice to say at all. Absolutely no point saying anything to him as he just gets super defensive and bites my head off. He doesn't really drink that often but when he does I can't stand him. Even after a couple of drinks an innocent comment or joke gets taken the wrong way and he jumps on it - complete sense of humour failure - its like he's looking for an argument. Yuck.

I do feel rhat a couple of your lther halfs are being insensitive and to be honest rude.... I left my husband in the end over his irritating things of turning the bedroom light on at 5am to get ready for work. Spraying deoderant in the bedroom, putting the alarmclock on snooze fir a bloody hour lol. So im not surprised that you are losing your temper with them
Lol. Although i d tnk that being pregnant can make them more irritating lol

I don't know Cally, I'd be furious if DH was behaving like that.

For example, the deodorant thing - I had the same problem, told him, and from the next day he went to a different floor of the house to spray it.

I've had hyperemesis too (which it sounds like you might... are you on medication? If you're throwing up that often you probably should be) and DH has been my life support. From having NEVER done an ounce of housework in his life, he has gone to:

• Doing the grocery shop, laundry and dishwasher
• 'Cooking' (heating up ready meals!) whenever I ask
• Getting me breakfast in bed every morning
• Taking care of the cat (who he never wanted in the first place)
• Basically waiting on me hand and foot without a word of complaint

No doubt you're more sensitive than usual because you're pregnant, but his behaviour sounds massively unsupportive - does he not see how much pain/suffering you're going through?! I would have a serious talking to him if I were you.

If my dh were around in the week ( works away in London, lucky for him ) I probably would of ripped his head off and fed it to the dogs! There is nothing that he has done wrong, I am putting it down to the fact that you go off certain things whilst pregnant, namely food. I on the other hand have gone of my husband and children :), here's hoping it only lasts the first trimester!!!

I've just started to stop disliking my DP (17weeks pg)
for the past few weeks he has been irritating the crap out of me. Still can't understand why he can't put anything away or unload a dishwasher or remember that a washed clothes need to be hung out to dry.

But I've finally realised that the small things he does mean more than the stupid things he forgets to do.
Like taking DS out when I'm tired
Buying me crisps from the shop
Getting up early with toddler so I can lie in a little.

If I focus on these things I'm less likely to kill him

Throw away the spray deodorant - my DH had a Lynx one which truly made me retch, even non pg and one day having asked him LOADS not to spray in our room, I binned it once he left for work. He never mentioned it again. He uses pong-free roll ons now. Much happier. A tip from someone who has been married 5 years: you need to be wily and there are occasions when you need to 'husband manage'. Totally normal, just be clever and you will be fine

"Husband manage"

I am officially adding this phrase to my vocabulary!

I hate everyone who ventures into the house.

DP has been told on several occasions to move out and go live in caravan, but he keeps putting it off.

I hate the mess they leave and the last straw at the weekend was being told that he wouldn't wash a frying pan because he'd used it to cook me a sausage sandwich in.... I was so gobsmacked I forgot to hit him round the head with the dirty pan.

Since then I am refusing to wash anything up that I've used to cook him or his boys a meal with.

The only problem is, I HATE cluttered work surfaces and the mess is making me grind my teeth.

I wish they'd all leave.

I told my mil I was leaving her son yesterday because he skipped his turn at getting up with our toddler AGAIN. I ruddy well meant it at the time too! Tonight I've stopped short of leaving and flounced to the bedroom instead. Don't want to have to hear him ask me what's up one more time when I've told him a million times yet nothing changes!

So glad I'm not the only 1 feeling like this I've been with my partner 6 years expecting my 2nd child (9weeks) an everything he does (snore,mess and not clean up after himself, spray stuff wile I'm sleeping an hes getting ready for work etc I am feeling alot or residentment towards him as I feel he is just being selfish an when I try to talk things over I am just HORMONAL 😡 normally we get on fine we argue just like normal couples but atm we are just constantly at each other throats. I've had bleeding an a scare at the start of my pregnancy so sex was off the table I feel like he only wants to show me affection when he is wanting sex 🙄 anyone else feeling this way because sure were all just HORMONAL and sex mad lol