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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Just found out pregnant again - small age gap!

29 replies

chloesmama · 13/06/2006 21:54

Just found out im having another baby, very very early days but my DH will only be 18 months old (approx) - it probably doesnt sound difficut to some but to me all i can think of is how am i going to cope plus im a childminder!! Any tips or any good/bad experiences for having small age gap... Thanks.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

waterfalls · 13/06/2006 21:55

No advice, but lol at the typo 'DH will be 18 months'

Original poster

chloesmama · 13/06/2006 21:58

Whoops, thats a toy boy... sorry DD

OP posts:

MarsLady · 13/06/2006 22:01

Whilst it will be tiring for a while it will pay dividends when they are older. My eldest pair are 22 months apart and the best of friends.

You will be fine.. honest!

hermykne · 13/06/2006 22:09

CM you ll be fine, 18 months aint like irish twins with a gap of 10/13mths as my friend is going to have!
mine were 22mths as well, and its busy but oyu ll adjust very quickly

geogteach · 13/06/2006 22:10

First 6 weeks or so are tough but after that it is great, I have a 16 month gap and loved it, I am put off going for any more as I know the gap will bw much bigger, my other gap is 26 months but I really think that in the longer term close together is easier.

MrsMuddle · 13/06/2006 22:12

Mine are 17 months apart, and I thought my world had ended when I found out I was pregnant, but in retrospect, it's by far the easiest way. They're 10 and 11 now and life is so easy with a small gap. It's hard at first, but not that much harder work than one is. Good luck.

juuule · 13/06/2006 22:12

I had 16m between ds2 and dd1, 15m between dd2 and ds3. Hard work at times but I loved it :)

Original poster

chloesmama · 13/06/2006 22:15

Thanks all, was a huge shock but a great one all the same. I hope it will become second nature after a while, but my DD might not be fully walking by then so just the thought of carrying two children about makes me wince! Cost of coverting loft as only got 2 bed house at mo, cost of doing new bedroom out for DD, double buggy...list is endless at the moment! not much dosh coming in at the mo as it is childminding so whats going to happen when i need to go on maternity! just worried about money more than anything i think

OP posts:

Olihan · 13/06/2006 22:21

Mine are 19 months apart and the first few months were really tough but 9 months down the line they adore each other most of the time and are really starting to play together. I think it's a lovely gap tbh.

Also you'll probably have very little in the way of jealousy to cope with because your dd won't really remember that she was ever on her own.

Don't panic about it, you will cope with it and you'll have children who will be able to do all the same things, all the sleepless nights, nappies, potty training etc will be over relatively quickly and they'll be great playmates.

Just enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can because it will fly by this time around.

lilianna · 13/06/2006 22:22

hi i have 11 months between ds1 and dd. 20 months between dd and ds2 and roughly 11 months between ds2 and unborn baby.
they are now aged 3yrs, 2yrs, 10 months and 4weeks left till due date.
It is really nice having them so close together.
good luck.

sobernow · 13/06/2006 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

handlemecarefully · 13/06/2006 22:29

Mine are 21 months apart and tbh I have only just started to find it easier in the last 6 months or so (ds is 2.2 and dd 3.11)

I personally believe that having 2 pre school children at home is very ennervating and it certainly took it's toll on my marriage (and from comparing notes with a friend with a similar age gap (18 months), on her relationships too

Don't wish to depress you or be a harbinger of doom, but that was the reality for me....

Congratulations but be aware that it could be a hard slog. Forewarned is forearmed.

Original poster

chloesmama · 13/06/2006 22:30

Me sober two birthdays in a row as well...my 23rd and 24th...i might as well of turned te-total from baby #1.

Thanks all, fantastic advice. I know you just got to get on with it because you have to but i nearly smacked DH out when we had our first one due to the stresses and strains! he better watch out this time...my arms are like steel from carrying DD around

OP posts:

toytownmum · 13/06/2006 22:37

Hi, I have 14mths between ds1 and ds2 and although the 1st few months were hard they are now 13mths and 2.4 and life is becoming easier by the day.
It was a great shock to find that i was pregnant when ds1 was 5 mths but now i'm glad it happened that way.

Original poster

chloesmama · 13/06/2006 22:54

in most cases then it appears it was a good decision...I hope we can all get through it unscathed. I dont want anyone to suffer as a result.

OP posts:

Tommy · 13/06/2006 23:03

we have 19m between our DSs and the first few weeks were definitely a bit hectic! There are 3 and 4 now and play together so well that it was obviously worth it.
(I had 2 Christmasses in a row pergnant )

agalch · 14/06/2006 07:03

Hi Chloesmama

My dd will be nearly 2 when i have baby no4(my boys are 14.5 and 10.5) and i am also a childminder so i understand the money worry.
I am in Scotland so we have the care Commission up here,I would speak to them and see what it means in terms of your registration.Because i will have 2 children of my own under 5 i am only allowed 1 under 5 to care for.
I am taking 6 months paid leave.As long as you have been working for long enough and earned enough and been paying class 2 NI contributions you are entitled to up to 26 weeks maternity allowance.I am deffo doing that as i feel i'll need time to recover and spend time with dd and the new baby.
Good luck
xx

throckenholt · 14/06/2006 07:24

it is a nice gap - the older one is just old enough to be a bit more independen, and "help" by fetching things for the baby. And they are still close enough in age to share toys etc when they get a bit older, and play games etc at a similar level, also have friends and activies in common.

pindy · 14/06/2006 07:37

This may not help!!!

First 6 months is very tough, after that it gets much easier as they can sort of play! What sex is your baby, the one that will be 18 months, mine was a girl and apparently that is easier, she then had a real live "dolly" to play with!

Good luck.

pindy · 14/06/2006 07:40

Mine are now 13 and 12 nad get only really really well, most of the time, they always have done. Girl is oldest, son is younger but now taller and stronger! Keeps her in her place which is more than I can do!

fairyjay · 14/06/2006 08:55

My ds is 15 mths older than dd. It is hard work at first, but now (they're 13 and 14) they are happy to do stuff together - like the same films, play tennis to similar standards etc, it works out really well. Plus added benefit - ds has some pretty cool friends according to dd!!

sighkotika · 14/06/2006 10:28

in terms of looking after two babies with a small age gap, i'm no help, but in terms of being a child close in age to my siblings, IME its really nice to be so close in age. my sister is 18 months younger than me, and my brother is 17 months younger than her. while it was occasionally annoying, we are all really close and spend a lot of time together which i think may have a little to do with how close in age we are

thats just my experience of it though

pol26 · 14/06/2006 14:51

My sister had twins when her bubba was 11 months old... I never knew how she coped but she did and is a wonderful mum... It is possible I just think you have to be very organised!

hotmama · 14/06/2006 15:08

Ah - a subject close to my heart!

My dd1 is 20 months and my dd2 is 18 weeks - a gap of 16 months!

I thought it was going to be a nightmare - but it isn't as bad as I thought. I'm lucky in that dd1 goes to nursery 3 days a week.

I had to have a c-section with dd2 so dd1 was booked into nursery full-time for a month otherwise I wouldn't have coped as dd1 wasn't walking properly and I wouldn't have been able to pick her up etc - I know I am lucky to have this flexibility.

Luckily, dd1 is too young for the sibling rivalry but there can be a bit of jealousy but also a lot of affection for her little sis.

Also, (if relevant to you) bf didn't go as planned with dd1 but is going well with dd2 -well chuffed!

There are other postings on this subject (but I was always rubbish in finding things in the archive). If you have questions or requests for advice - post as I'm sure you'll get lots of responses.

My tips/what I did.

I moved dd1 from her bedroom well in advance of dd2 coming so she didn't link the being moved from her room and the addition of the new baby.

I also moved dd1 into the new pushchair (I got a Phil & Ted E3 Explorer which can be used as a single and a double.)

I asked the nursery to minimise any disruption around the birth of dd2 - hence dd1 moved classes slightly early.

DD1 had a pressie from dd2 in the hosp (a Fifi Flowertot doll)

HTH

glassofwine · 14/06/2006 16:37

My DS was born when DD2 was 11 months and DD1 was 3 yrs. Honestly it was seriously hard work, but now that DS is 3 1/2 its great. They really are each others best friends, of course they squabble, but mostly get on fantastically. It has got easier now we are out of baby mode. One of the things I found hardest was that just as one moved out of a phase the next one moved into it, so for example I felt I was forever spoon feeding, forever nappy changing, forever potty training etc.

I did get an au pair for the first year, just before DS was born, we couldn't afford it and it did have problems of it's own, but at least for a few hours a day I had some help.

Good luck

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