Some idiot walked against me in a shop

[syl1985]

I was in a supermarket. I was walking and this other person was walking towards me.

On his side of the aisle was someone standing. He clearly looked at me and I thought he was going to stop as this person was on his side.

So I kept on walking and right on the place where it was narrow he just walked right against me.

I was angry, but didn't know how to respond. All he said was sorry and I said: 'Thanks for that'!

He just continued, not worried about my belly (29 weeks pregnant) nothing.

Just a sorry he though that that was enough.

I had a pack of ice cream in my hands for me and my family to enjoy. It was soooooo warm and this idiot who so clearly did see me just walked against me.

I really thought he was going to wait as the person standing there making the path narrow was on his site, not mine!

He looked at me in the eyes and looked like he was going to stop and still continued.

I was furious at that moment!!!!
In my head I've said a lot of things to that person. But the only thing that came out of my mouth was a very annoyed:

Thanks for that!

And all he did was saying: 'sorry'.

Totally not concerned that he walked against me and my belly. He totally didn't seem to care.

How can people be so unbelievable stupid, inconsiderate and rude?
Or maybe he wanted to say more, like me, but things didn't came out of his mouth.
In the end we all sometimes make stupid mistakes.

It's still in my head, although I'm not angry anymore on him. On that moment..... I was boiling hot!!!

It annoys me that in the supermarkets people sometimes can be so rude. Rushing to get past you.
Not wanting to wait a second and if they need to wait some make noises like: hhmmm, ggrrr....

What is the problem with waiting 2 seconds? You're not online in this shop.

Especially with small kids. Some don't care and nearly run them over with their trolleys.

Or people who don't watch, they just walk like they're the only persons in the shop.
That's why I LOVE ordering my food online and someone comes and brings it to my door. Soooo much easier. No idiots and no kids who I need to keep close to me.

Or people who just make a mess in the shop. Placing foods they in the end don't want to buy on other places.
Or even food that was stored on room temperature they put it in the freezer.

Trolleys all over the parking.
Or if they bring the trolley back to where they belong they are to lazy to push it in the row of trolleys. They just give a last push to the trolley and it ends up somewhere between the other trolleys.

Originally I'm from Holland and people are totally not like that in the shops. If you haven't brought the products yet it isn't yours so you're careful with it. If you brake something, you buy it.

Other people and the shop keepers / workers will tell you off if you put things on a different place.
For us it's such a rude thing. We usually work with coins that need to be put in the trolley. To get the coin back we'll have to bring that back. It's a normal thing to do. We wouldn't even think of not bringing the trolley back or leave it somewhere on the parking.

With Easter those bunnies with broken ears. They're in every shop. If they see that in Holland that you do that, you're going to buy them. If not, either police gets involved or you'll get kicked out the shop and don't bother coming back. You won't be welcome anymore.

Most people thank goodness are ok. I think shops are to much busy with being nice to their customers and let them get away with these things. Some idiots just take full advantage of the kindness of the shops over here.

Wow talk about blowing things way out of proportion!

And I have never seen a chocolate bunny with broken ears in the shops!

I think OP is enraged by the lack of consideration shown by this man.. He wasn't very careful then when he did bump her he didn't really seem bothered then either! I agree that it was thoughtless.

OP if I had been there and bumped you I would have definitely checked you were OK and apologised profusely .

When I was young, if you got something off the shelf you had to be careful and if you broke it you offered to pay for it. I think with the advent of big businesses like Tesco these rules as it were have eased off.

Hope you are OK now

@LadyBeagleEyes

No, never had this happening to me before. It's my 4th pregnancy and we've had the other 3 kids in Holland.

Never happened that someone just bumped into me and my belly. I'm so surprised to read everyone's responses and it seems normal over here that someone walks against you when you're pregnant.

I did even read of a lady who did fall after someone bumped into her and no apology and no one helped her on her feet.

Some months ago similar thing happened to a lady in Holland, but because of the fall she did loose her child. So it was a bit worse.
Anyway, that made the national news.

On websites where people could respond on the news article. Just about everyone was angry and furious about the person bumping against her and not helping her on her feet.
People around her did help her and as she felt a lot of pain in her belly the ambulance was called.

I'm reading everyone's response and by the looks of things it's just normal over here. It'd would be so sad if you'd fall badly and loose the baby.
But I'm now wondering if that would make the national news over here? Maybe local news?

I bumped into someone the other evening. I was in a pub garden, looking around for a free table, took a step forward and my cocktail glass stopped before I did. Luckily I hadn't drunk any of it by then, or I might not have stopped myself from brushing off my cocktail's salt from her breast t-shirt. Of course I said sorry and got out of her way and was more careful. What more could I have done?

My very first moments walking around Amsterdam, I was in a crowded place, crossing a busy road and a pregnant woman with a pram crossed towards me, and I found my path blocked by her as she headed right for me. Eventually I managed to squeeze past the pram, but she ran over my foot (which hurt) and shouted abuse at me. She then re-crossed the road and followed me, continuing to shout abuse until she had made me cry.
Until now, I thought it was just her. Now I am not so sure. Maybe it is a Dutch thing?

syl if he knocked you over then I'm sure everyone would agree that it was a terrible thing to do, but by the sounds of it he brushed past you because you were both to stubborn to stop and wait for the other.

IME most people are very considerate to pregnant people. I hope your ok, and don't judge everyone by one man.

I am Dutch but I do not recognise your description of Dutch supermarkets.

People bump into each other, it happens. Maybe he thought you were waiting for him to come past, who knows.
You weren't hurt, didn't fall or drop the ice cream so what is wrong with him saying sorry.

And be thankful for the British queuing system, you don't get that in Holland, try getting on a bus without being pushed or bumped into.

Syl - like I said, maybe he genuinely didn't notice you are pregnant. And unlike the lady in Holland, you didn't fall over, so you cannot make assumptions about what he would have done had you fallen - for all you know he would have stopped and helped you up.

But from his point of view, he knocked against someone who didn't seem to be in any pain as a result, and he apologised. If you had been in pain afterwards, or had fallen over, and he hadn't helped you or showed more concern, then I would agree with you that he had behaved badly - but that was not the case.

Also, it is very rare for a woman to lose her baby following a simple fall - the human body is designed to protect the foetus in the womb, because the species wouldn't survive if babies could be so easily dislodged. What happened to the lady in Holland was very sad indeed, but very, very rare.

Oh don't I remember that feeling.

I was in Milton Keynes and went into a shop and people pushed past me the whole time. I never normally cared but I was about 29/30 weeks pregnant and was so enraged I shouted, 'I'm sorry!' sarcastically after some people who bumped into me.

I know now I normally would apologise myself, being that kind of person but I felt so cross I swear I could've hit someone. Something primal took over me, to be honest. So I do know how you feel.

However as others have pointed out he may have not wanted to presume you were pregnant and by saying 'is the baby ok' he would be causing more offence that saying sorry. Perhaps he was in a real rush too as some people can be a bit thoughtless when they are in a mad rush.

I hope you feel better now though. Remember stress can upset the baby, so have a nice relax and enjoy your day. It is warm too and sometimes that doesn't help, either. :)

@yegodsandlittlefishes

It's more normal to get out of the way for each other and especially pregnant ladies. Also prams, but especially with pregnant women.

She might have thought you should have given her more space. As you said she was pregnant and a pram. So it's very normal to give her enough space and not doing that is considered as being very rude.

You were in Amsterdam and people from Amsterdam are known for there big mouths. They do say out loud what they think. They're well known for that in Holland.

It's very much possible that for Dutch standard you were rude and the pregnant Amsterdam lady reacted how they normally would react. Letting you exactly know what she was thinking and feeling at the moment.

But I wasn't there so it's hard to judge from the information that you gave me. It might be a silly person that you came across.

Amsterdam is a big city and you can find all kind of people over there like in any big city. From normal to sick. From rich to poor. Living in a villa to the homeless.

Don't expect a man to wait for you to pass through a narrow space, don't expect a man to say ladies first? Don't expect a man to open a door for you, or even a womanmas a matter of fact. I think its sad such common politeness has eroded. When I was growing up on the 80s and 90s this people were so polite ok it wasn't an idyll but i miss these etiquettes its sad to see them fading away.

Poster right to be mad but unbalanced rage, you sound like how i felt a day before period. I'm nuts before menstruation lool.

yep. you are just confirming it more and more!

I'm sure he knew he didn't hurt you, you carry the baby on the inside right inside. He brushed past you! He said sorry! Now Get over yourself and the encounter.

Syl - is it not also normal to apologise if you run over someone's foot with your pram? Or normal to drive your pram straight at someone in a crowded place and expect them to leap out out of your way? Or to then chase them shouting abuse?

From that anecdote, I would say that yegodsandlittlefishes is the victim, not the aggressive lady, pregnant or otherwise.

Yes, exactly op.

The man you saw in the supermarket could have been working on the turn-taking principle, thinking he had given way to someone at the last narrow lane, now he should go first. Or perhaps he looked at you and thought there was something about you that would take offence on some feminist grounds if he 'let' you go first. Perhaps he misread your body language and thought you were wanting him to hurry up. Perhaps he had a sick child or pregnant wife at home to rush back to. Just as you can't in5erpret the situation I was in, we cannot interpret your situation, the only person who could give you any answers is the man who brushed passed you.

Thank you, SD, it was extremely crowded, I was pushed along by people behind and beside me, and despite trying to push in behind someone out of her way, instead the pushed me away and she made straight for me. But she obviously seemed to think I had committed a heinous crime. As I didn't understand her (I suspect she was mainly swearing anyway) I had no way of learning from the experience.

OP your assumptions about British people's attitudes towards pregnant women based on their nationality are coming across as quite offensive. It seems to be a culture class to be honest. The man apologised - what more should he have done?

I find your attitude a little strange as although I am British, I have spent a lot of time in Holland due to my FIL working there and have encountered very similar behaviour to the one you have described. I don't attribute that to some inherent 'Dutchness'.

You are pregnant and hormonal and overreacting. I can sympathise with that. I'm 39 weeks myself - at a similar stage to you I got barged aside by a woman determined to get to the last seat on the the train before me, and had a man run the handlebars of his bike into my bump. That was because these people were twats, not because they were British. Each of these twats have been countered by many more people who have been lovely and considerate.

The lady with the pram in Amsterdam sounds like she belongs in the first category!!

I think to be honest you need a small glass of wine, or a long bath

It really is rude. You can feel quite vulnerable and off balance when pregnant and worries about being knocked into or knocked over are legitimate.

Apologising isn't enough when what he did was completely unnecessary and he had time to consider the practical problem as the OP described, but chose to push past instead of waiting.

I was in the US when pregnant all five times and people would jump out of my way, stand aside to let me pass, offer me their place in the supermarket checkout line, offer to carry my groceries, offer to reach high or low shelves for me. Britain by contrast was a place that reminded me of an anthill more than anything else, with everyone scurrying and in their own little bubble, not looking out for anyone else. 'Sorry' to those who are offended by that.

@mathanxiety

Thanks, I've had a few nice comments, but you're the first who really totally seem to understand what I'm saying.

Thank you for you nice response.

This thread is exhausting - OP you would have received more warmth/advice/positive comments if you didn't position this as a general comment about British people...to a largely British audience. I do think it was rude what that guy did, I really do. Your post was a rant (a repeated rant at that) - I've definitely been in that place myself this pregnancy, but try not to feel like the whole world (or UK) is against you. I'm really sorry that guy was unthoughtful xx

My husband accidentally bumped into my bump yesterday - he said sorry only after I mentioned it.

I'm thinking of divorcing the fucker.

@ Bumbolina - cheered me right up that!

for the OP this isn't the first post banging on about how bad things are over here - i think you ranted about traffic past a school before. TBH I find this bashing the English bizarre since in your comments back to yegodsandlittlefishes you completely contradict your views. In any case, I myself have spent a lot of time in Holland, and have found people much the same there as anywhere, and was bumped into, etc when there like anywhere. I found when I lived in London people were actually often MORE courteous there randomly. I now live in Germany (east) and my only annoyance here is grown ups using the pavements as bike lanes. I also hate picking not picking up dog mess, so I always carry extra bags from my dog with and offer them to people who don't bother saying 'I see you have run out - help yourself!'. I have also been bumped into here - i think getting on the tram - a few times - whilst obviously pregnant. Because people don't have eyes everywhere and have their own worries/lives going on - we both say 'oh sorry' and smile and each leave without wanting to brain each other. Unavoidable stress is one thing when preg - but this is completely and totally over the top, even when people have taken the time to share there experiences with you, in a kind fashion to hep you calm down, and frankly quite rude to the brits, who as a nation are generally very polite calm people. Perhaps a nice cup of tea, a biscuit and a sit down would help!

If you really are concerned about walking in a crowded space with your bump then stick your elbows out a little way on either side of your belly. I haven't encountered any problems in supermarkets etc but when I went into London recently on a busy sat and a busy Friday night I let people who were in a rush go past me and took my time. And even getting home on the tube on a busy Friday night I found that when going for a seat the other person backed off and let me take the seat as soon as they saw my bump (I was 36 weeks then and very obviously pregnant). I was in Camden market a few Saturdays ago and although very busy and hot it was fine just employed the elbow technique - I didn't bump into anyone and they didnt bump into me.

Oh FFS. Man accidentally walks into woman. Man apologises. Get over it.