Does yout dh/dp attend scans & appointments with you?

[Shellywelly1973]

I was at the hospital yesterday & realised i was the only women on my own. Its a consultant clinic so complicated pregnancies that sort of thing.

Today i went for my 12 week scan. Dp was meant to come but didn't end up making it. Again i was the only women on my own. At least yesterday there were a few women with friends but today it was all husband /partners.

Dp came to my scans with my previous pregnancies nothing else. I did feel disappointed he didn't come today, he knew i was really worried. My last 12 week scan showed MMC.

Im having a CVS on Thursday but Im not that bothered if he comes with me as it was today that i was worried.

Does your dh/dp attend scans and appointments?

My DH came to my 12wk & 20wk scans, I had to be scanned again at 21wks as baby was lying funny the week before so they weren't able to properly see the spine. My mum came with me to that one as DH couldn't get the day off work. He also came to my booking in appointment and one other mw appointment around 32ish weeks, but only because he happened to be off work that day anyway. All my other appointments I either went to alone or my mum came along if she was off work. Like other posters have said, most mw appointments are just a quick pee test, blood pressure and feel of my tummy, so I didn't mind going by myself to those.

1st pregnancy DH came to nuchal and 20 week scan. No appointments though.

2nd pregnancy - no scans as was looking after DS1 and also missed birth as was looking after DS1 - was boxing day and earlier than expected. Was fine though.

3rd pregnancy - he looked after the other dc's whilst I went to all scans by myself.

I think a lot of hospitals are getting very strict now about children not being in the room when scans are done so I reckon there will be far more women on their own for the scan as their partner will be looking after toddlers etc.

With DD (4th round ivf) Dh came to the 12w, 20w and 32w scan. Never to any other appts, midwife or consultant. Hang on, I tell a lie, he came to my 40 week midwife appt but only because it was on a Saturday morning.

With this one (31 weeks today, not ivf) he's been to the 20 week scan and that's it! He was to come to the 12w but had a nasty dose of something gastro the night before and I said it was inconsiderate for him to come. He'll miss the 32w scan next week and all appts after that. No point in both of us hanging around for hours!!

Dh came to most scan appointments and I had a lot, and to one consultant appointment but not all and none if the regular midwife appointments. Also can't understand worn who turn up with whole cheer leading squad.

My dh came to all scans but not MW appointments other than the 36 week one which was when we were discussing labour-at my insistence! Have been at the hospital for consultant appointments lots and always been the only person there on my own, which annoyed me a bit. That said, there is no legal obligation for employers to let dads have time off for any of these so do wonder how the other dads deal with multiple appointments. It just hasn't been practical for dh to join me on most appointments.
Bit surprised that your dh didn't come to your 12 week scan if you'd prev had a mmc though, sounds a bit off. Pleased all is well though and get him to make it up to you!

DP came to 12 week and 20 week scan. Luckily they fell on his days off but he would have taken time off for them if he needed to and could. I had a scan at 8 weeks which DP couldn't come to because he was working. Midwife appointments- he only comes if it is his day off but wouldn't take time off for them. Don't see the need for him to take time off for routine midwife appointments.

I agree. Dp should have been at my 12 week scan yesterday. The MMC was in February so still v.emotional about it.

I felt hurt as i ask for so little support. I carry on as normal during pregnancy & don't make a fuss. He knows this as...

DP came to my booking appointment, 1st midwife appointment and 12 and 20 week scans. He had to take time off for all. I also had to go to A&E at one point for which he came home from work for. He doesn't come to any midwife appointments now due to work - also they're not very exciting. We're also doing an antenatal class over 4 weeks in September together (weekday evenings).

It's our first so he's very keen and excited about the whole thing; I think for any next pregnancies he'll probably come to the scans but not more than that.

He was on a rest day yesterday. He was supposed to look after our ds5 as he'd been sent home from school on Monday. Ds seemed fine by bedtime so i texted dp saying if Ds was ok on Tuesday morning i would send him to school so that would leave him free to come to the scan. He said he didn't see text. So he didn't go to bed til 4am. I woke him up at 7.30am as i was leaving for work& said i'd meet him at the hospital.

I did call & text from the hospital but he didn't reply as he was still asleep.

He does feel bad but Im disappointed in him.

hi op i was in the shoes as you. my last ended in a mmc and he never came to any of those. he had to watch our other 2 dc. then this time he wasn't even going to try and take time off for the 12 wk scan when i questionned him, he said he didn't think i needed him so i told him i did and he came to both the 12 and 20 wk scan. sometimes i wonder that because we do everything on our own with the other dc attached to us we are actually happy to do all that and stop offering help after a while..... they just need to b told every now and then that we DO need help too.