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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Does yout dh/dp attend scans & appointments with you?

62 replies

Shellywelly1973 · 16/07/2013 14:30

I was at the hospital yesterday & realised i was the only women on my own. Its a consultant clinic so complicated pregnancies that sort of thing.

Today i went for my 12 week scan. Dp was meant to come but didn't end up making it. Again i was the only women on my own. At least yesterday there were a few women with friends but today it was all husband /partners.

Dp came to my scans with my previous pregnancies nothing else. I did feel disappointed he didn't come today, he knew i was really worried. My last 12 week scan showed MMC.

Im having a CVS on Thursday but Im not that bothered if he comes with me as it was today that i was worried.

Does your dh/dp attend scans and appointments?

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RNJ3007 · 16/07/2013 16:25

My DH came to my 12w scan and my 20w scan, but that's it... I do feel oddly conspicuous alone sometimes! But DH works and I have so many appointments it isn't feesable for him to be there for all of them!

PatriciaHolm · 16/07/2013 16:28

first baby - both scans, no appts. Second - 12 wk scan but not 20th as had a work meeting he couldn't get out of, no appts. All fine by me and I still remember calling him after the 20 week scan and him being so happy that all was well and surprised DC2 was DS1 ;-) (he was convinced it was DD2)...

ChunkyPickle · 16/07/2013 16:28

DP came to the scans for DS1, but now for DS2 we're not bothering with the hassle - and he doesn't come to routine appointments at all.

I don't mind - it's not that he isn't interested - he always calls during straight after to check everything is OK (and if it wasn't, then he would behave appropriately). There's just no point both of us sitting waiting for the inevitably delayed appointments just to be told it's all fine.

Xmasbaby11 · 16/07/2013 16:51

DH came/comes to everything, apart from late in my last pregnancy when I had to go for routine blood tests several times a week.

Yonionekanobe · 16/07/2013 17:08

Scans but nothing else. He and to booking in with adD and was bored senseless, which is understandable as it is dull.

Futterby · 16/07/2013 17:09

JR, I bring my mum and DP with me to my scans because they're the two most important people in the world to me and I want to share it with them. Don't see the problem.

TobyLerone · 16/07/2013 17:16

Scans, yes.

Routine mw appointments? No. What would be the point?

He'll come to the 16 week mw appointment next week so he can hear the baby's heartbeat, but otherwise it's a bit weird, IMO.

He'd come if I asked him to, obv. But I really just don't see the need.

Yonionekanobe · 16/07/2013 17:17

Oh my - gobbledygook! He CAME to booking in for DD...

MrsHoarder · 16/07/2013 17:29

Only to scans and when I had to go to hospital in late pregnancy. Not routine ante-natal appointments, but I knew that he would drop everything if I asked and doesn't work far from home.

WinningBread · 16/07/2013 17:29

DP came to every scan, appointment etc.

But then, we do live in each other's pockets.....

x0gawjus0x · 16/07/2013 17:31

My fir
st scan is next fri and he has booked the day off to come with :) x

WinningBread · 16/07/2013 17:31

Mind you, it was our first and only baby, which took 4.5 years to make.

I had to add that, so we didn't come across as The Scary Couple.

beth27123 · 16/07/2013 17:35

OH comes to all my appointments and scans, mostly because he wants to support me on this very scary journey. I often forget questions and things I want to talk about and he's great at helping me relax before them (I tend to get panicked about silly things!).
But I wouldn't be offended in anyway if he couldn't come. I just got very lucky.

MrsRoss26 · 16/07/2013 17:58

My DH couldn't come to either of my scans or mw appointments because of work, and only now that he's on his holidays has he been able to come to a couple of routine (and not so routine) mw / hospital apps. Not a big deal for us really, though it would have been nice for the scans, but he'll meet lo soon enough!

beingagoodmumishard · 16/07/2013 17:58

My DH came to both scans, although nearly missed the first scan as he was trying to find a parking space after dropping me off at the hospital, when I was called in. The MW felt sorry for me when I burst in to tears when I thought he was going to miss it and swapped my appointment with someone else.

He also came to most of my appointments but I had a lovely MW who arranged my appointments for the evening so I didn't have to take time off work as the hospital was in the town where we lived but we both worked over 20 miles away. If they had been in the day I would not have expected him to come to them

badguider · 16/07/2013 18:07

scans - yes. he was as keen to see that all was well as I was. almost more so at the 20wk one because he couldn't feel any movement at that point.
mw appts - no, not much point. but i do always text him after to confirm all is well.

i haven't had any 'procedures' like cvs or amnio but he would have come to anything like that as he'd a) be worried if he didn't come and b) want to support me and not like the idea of me going through it on my own.

he's also coming to the four parentcraft classes with me (nhs) and going to a day long 'dads to be' course. he hasn't any experience with labour and babies and expects to be fully involved with this one.

Lovemyprincess4eva · 16/07/2013 18:27

My DH comes to my scans and he came to my 20 week consultant appointment. He doesn't come to the midwife ones but will try and make my next consultant one as this is when we re discussing the bigger issues x

Queazy · 16/07/2013 19:42

My DH came to scans - I would have been really disappointed if he hasn't, but can appreciate there may have been unavoidable reasons your DH missed yours. My DH can't make all the appointments though, and tbh when he's come to one before he's been really squeamish just when I'm having my blood taken. Doesn't bode well for watching childbirth xx

littlestgirlguide · 16/07/2013 19:54

My DH came to my 12 and 20 week scans in my first pregnancy, but not any of the other appointments. This time, I had a scan at 7 weeks and went on my own, and I was happy with that as it was Short notice and he was working. To be honest, i was glas he wasnt there as it was an internal scan. He will come to the big ones though. I wouldn't want him there at all the midwife appts, when I have to give pee samples and ask questions about constipation and whether my CM should be the colour it is!

Smilehappy · 16/07/2013 20:41

DP has came to every appt, 2 MW and 3 scans but we have agreed he won't be joining the rest of my MW appts as its nothing new etc

Tulipsandbuttercups · 16/07/2013 21:25

My DH has been to all hospital apps and scans, but Thursday I have an antenatal appointment and he is not coming to this one, I said I would go to this one on my own but if I think he needs to come to other antenatal appointments then he will

pinkr · 16/07/2013 22:28

Scans and all consultant appointments re complication....not to the standard midwife ones though. its nice to have the support and he's generally better at remembering what's been said etc!

Original poster

Shellywelly1973 · 16/07/2013 22:28

Im surprised by how many dp/dh attend general appointments. I wouldn't want dp at the consultant appointments as it was a really negative appointment & he'd have been panicking. He will be totally useless if he comes to the CVS...he's needle phobic!

He dosnt know it yet but this baby is going to be a home waterbirth!

OP posts:

YBR · 17/07/2013 07:33

DH attended all appointments with DD and the MMCs I had before. He was always very fortunate to be able to arrange with work.
Now he is a SAHD and he has come to everything so far, which will almost certainly continue; DD comes too (except for the 1st scan in case it found a MMC again).

I don't expect this to be normal as most DPs/DHs won't be able to. My employer gives up to 2.5 days for expectant fathers to go to Antenatal appointments, after that it would be Annual Leave. I suspect this is more generous than most.

EeyoreIsh · 17/07/2013 08:03

With my first pregnancy I had lots of early scans because of bleeding. My DH was under lots of stress at work and didn't feel able to miss work, so my mum came to my first two scans rather than DH. Then the bleeding stepped up a gear and DH came to the scan and told work to just deal with it. At that scan I found out I miscarried.

He came to every appointment with me (lots of fertility appointments) and all follow up scans apart from one where they were just checking my cysts. Even then he insisted I wasn't alone so my FIL took me to hospital.

With this pregnancy he's come to every appointment and he'll come to our 12 week scan. He came to an early scan I had because of bleeding. He'll have just started his job when we have the 20 week scan, but I think he'll still try to come.

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