why is there so much pressure to breast feed??

[blondebaby111]

Just that really??!!! At my first midwife app it was thrown In my face abit when I said I wasn't sure yet if I would but I'd feel more comftable doing both. Why are you made to feel like its such a crime. I'm only 12 weeks so have alot more appointments where this will be brought up.

I have friends who have breastfed and have had miserable babies that rarely settle, they are completely flustered with it and some verge on pnt because of all the pressure. Yet the friends that haven't breastfed or done both seem to have happy babies, they are a lot more happier in themselves and generally just so relaxed. So my views are mixed on this.

I don't want to start a debate but I just wish we could all make our minds up without midwives frowning or thinking its bad if we choose not too....just saying!!!

I suspect a lot is to do with the environment around us, what our friends do and how well we are supported. It is fairly clear to anyone that a well networked/supported mother, with supportive partner will generally find BF less trying than someone who has the counter opposite. It is also true that BF can be very hard at first - and if you want to succeed to have to stick at it, but even with the best will in the world, for some women it doesn't work out, and there is no shame in that.

It is also quite clear that when a baby is breast fed it has the additional protection of anti bodies to ward of infections during the period he/she feeds.

It is further more quite clear that some women go to the edge with this, even beyond, and spend months in a state no-one would wish just to try and breast feed - when FF may well have served them and their baby far better in this instance. And bloody good job these days we have such a choice.

It seems to me that even during the pregnancy we have a lot of this with things like not to drink alcohol etc and so on. So for example i have chosen not to drink at all during pregnancy - this is solely my choice, nothing to do with anyone else and how they approach their pregnancies, likewise with my general diet during pregnancy and so on. And the same with FF vs BF - I have friends who have done both, some BF till 3 years of age, and naturally support either of their choices. We all of us have a very long way ahead with our babies, and will have to make countless choices as they grow. To me it isn't like we win some kind of award for doing everything exactly by the book - natural birth, BF, everything organic etc, and then various school activities to help them learn quicker/faster. Surely a large proportion should be ensuring our babies our loved and safe and fed and clothed and warm. The rest - we just muddle through and do our best.

I never understand these threads.

People always talk about these BF Nazis. What do they look like?

This is a ridiculous thread. If you say breast is best (which the science proves it is) you're obviously a bf nazi, pressurising people and saying formula is the work of the devil. You can't win. A lot of people seem to be very defensive.

When people explain the positives of breast milk, it isn't pressure, it's information. Formula isn't bad. Lots of people in white coats have spent years analysing breast milk and tweaking cow's milk so that it matches it as closely as possible. It's obviously fine to feed your baby formula but it's just cheaper, quicker, less faffy and more beneficial health-wise (because of the antibodies contained in it) to cut out the middle man.

If someone has said that to you, they're not putting pressure on you. You still have the freedom to choose to do whatever you want. Lucky you. There are lots of places in the world where mums don't have that choice.

I was pressurised about BF, by a several midwives. I am not going to argue. I don't agree with extended BF, so shoot me. I stand by what I said. Its nobodys business if you BF or FF.

But don't you see you're contradicting yourself? On the one hand "it's nobody's business"/"I agree with freedom of choice" and on the other hand you've said very firmly you think extended bf is wrong. If you really believed in freedom of choice and "nobody's business" you would accept other women's right to extended bf as they see fit and wouldn't be passing judgement on it here (which is surely none of your business, going by your own argument).

By the way, the World Health Organisation recommends that all babies should be breastfed for two years or longer. That's all babies, not just third world ones. Clearly they don't think extended bf-ers have "ishoos".

Miamiamiiii it's also your choice to smoke fags, drink yourself to death, mainline cocaine etc etc but I wouldn't recommend any of them.

The notion of choice has got nothing to do with what is best.

Breast is best, that's why it's encouraged. Choice is irrelevant.

And if you/op is secure in your choice, why the hell do you care what anyone else thinks anyway?

I think as with birth it's worth keeping an open mind, getting more information and seeing how it goes. I have come round to the idea based on a few facts that surprised me:

1. that a new born baby will move itself towards a breast as it wants to feed - I've seen it for myself on OBEM. Mylene Klass who was adament she wouldn't breast feed prebirth, describes this too in her celeb baby book as being the reason she ended up breast feeding 2) A baby's stomach is the size of a grape so it doesn't need copious amounts 3) the first six weeks will be hard as a latch may be difficult, milk comes in, baby cluster feeds but it will get better 4) that mixing bottle and breast isn't a halfway house it's confusing 5) that the baby shouldn't chow down on a nipple they should take a huge mouthful of boob so it shouldn't hurt 6) that bottles should be prepared one at a time to avoid contamination - once breast feeding is established this will take longer than a breast feed

The above are random but were surprising info to me. I'm still prepared for it all to go wrong but after going to the couples breast feeding workshop I do feel more positive.

Ive skimmed through this thread...

I think the reason many women i know stopped bf is the reality of it. I've bf 4 dc, Im expecting my 6th dc. I will start off, just as i did with the others&see how i get on.

The pressure to go back to work, pay the morgage, deal with family, exhaustion, PND, school runs, SN dc... etc etc are factors that influenced how long i bf for

Good for you, lozter. It can hurt in the early days - I think most women have nipple pain at first. I had pain for the first 2 days with my second baby, which surprised me as I thought as a "seasoned" bf-er I wouldn't have any. The latch was fine, it just took my nipples a bit of time to get used to it again. This is normal, but I'm not going to lie, it did hurt. Lots of lansinoh and some painkillers helped and then I was fine. I'm not trying to put you off, but sometimes I think bf workshops push the message too much that "if it hurts your latch is wrong" - persistent pain (more than a couple of days) does indicate a problem, but it's normal for it to hurt a bit at first. I think being realistic about it is better as it helps women understand what's normal.

'Choice is irrelevant'.
And there we have it.

perplexedpirate I think you've misunderstood what Hullygully was saying.

It is a scientifcally undisputed fact that breastmilk is preferable to formula as the primary food source for a baby under six months.

This doesn't mean that choice is a bad thing but it is true that formula is not as good as breast milk. It's an excellent near-substitute but it is not like-for-like.

The pressure on me (especially with dd1, now 13) was to ff. I lived in a remote area (within uk) with an old fashioned culture and all-bar-one midwives after dd1's birth suggested "just one bottle". My HV said at her first visit "you'll never feed a big baby like that on your own, get her on a bottle now" (she was 9lb12oz at birth! - and honestly only lost 3-4oz, and had regained her birthweight by 10 days).

I'd read a lot, as had my (medic) dh, and luckily one of my only friends to have a baby before me had bf for 2 years. I was also bloody-minded, no HV was telling me what to do!!

So I tried (and, thankfully, succeeded) and fed dd1 for 12 months, ds for about 16 and dd2 for 2 years.

Because ... Despite any anecdote, including mine, the scientific evidence is that Breast is Best, even in a highly developed country like the UK (we see that from the Netherlands and Scandinavia, which have much higher bf rates and lower infant illness than we do).

I hope that now, in the area I was in when I gave birth, that new mothers are given more encouragement to make an informed choice.

(And just as an unscientific anecdote, I suffered severe PND with all of my dc, including hospital treatment. And I know that one of the things that got me through was that my bonding was poor, but I was feeding them in the best way, and that aided my recovery. It wasn't exactly "happy mum, happy baby" but it worked - and I wasn't the only mum I met in hospital who felt this).

I think the breast feeding counsellor who ran the workshop was actually pretty balanced and realistic. She handed out Lasinoh samples too! Thanks to mumsnet and Dooyoo I already had my full tube packed in my hospital bag! I'm quite prepared for all of this to go tits up (sorry couldn't resist ) but feel there is enough support available to give it a good go. I feel I owe it to my baby, myself, the nhs who provide support and my employer who is stumping up for maternity leave presumably because my baby needs me, to at least try. I've got to an age where I'm happy and grateful to be having a child after lots of intervention. Because of this, I feel less ownership of my body than when I was younger.

I understood that, show, but as a choice for an individual mother and child, it may well not be the best course of action.
You only have to look at the amount of threads started on here by new mothers distraught that they can't breastfeed. They are made to feel like they have failed their child from day one. Who needs that when there is so much else to cope with at that point?! It's one choice, in a lifetime of choices.
I totally agree that parents should be given the facts about breast feeding (and I personally wish I could have bf, would've saved a fortune) but this constant bombardment, which is what I experienced, is very hurtful.
Personally, my choice to ff was down to my physical options being limited, but there are hundreds of reasons why a woman might choose not to bf.
I think that should be respected and that choice is very relevant for the wellbeing of the whole family.

The questions was:

Why Is bfing so pushed?

The answer is: Because it's best

Obviously the corollary is: best IF POSSIBLE

If people that choose not to bf for reasons other than inability, eg lifestyle choices, then if they feel like failures it's hard to understand.

If you don't have the courage of your choices/convictions, make other ones.

It seems like the Formula-Feeders are showing far more hostility to the Breast-Feeders than the other way round.

The area in which I work has very low breast feeding rates. A high proportion of mothers leave the hospital having initiated breast feeding but by the time the baby is 3 months old only 6% are still being breast fed.

There are many factors that stop mothers continuing and usually it is because of how difficult it can be in those early weeks. It is so important that mothers are giving breast feeding support before the birth and continuing through those first few months.

My sister has got 2 children. The first one she BF until he was about 11 months old and she said it was wonderful. With her second she could only manage for about 3 months due to the fact her toddler kept wanting her attention. As somebody has said, there are lots of influential factors that can make a mother discontinue. She said that whilst breast feeding her partner was brilliant and so supportive and that is what helped her carry on.

In my opinion I don't think there is any pressure to BF - all the professionals are doing is providing relevant and very important information as to what is best for the baby. And why wouldn't they??

It's like saying it's mean to give people info about lung cancer in case smokers are upset.

Info is info.

What you do with it is up to the individual, but it's important to have the correct info to make an informed choice. This time the correct info is: Breast is best.

Irritating to see that Amazinggg hasn't been back to explain where I have compared formula feeding to smoking.
That is one thing that really gets my goat, people twisting your argument, having a go and then buggering off.

I'm not being hostile, really I'm not. I'm just giving my personal experience, which was a ridiculous experience as the choice was out of my hands anyway.
I just think that to see a woman formula feeding and assume its because she doesn't know the benefits of breast feeding shows disrespect for that women's choices.
Of course women should be told the benefits of breast feeding, and sharing a room, and all the other stuff we have learn first time round.
To then use that information to push a woman into a decision that may not actually be best for her and her family is, in my opinion anyway, disrespectful and counterproductive.

"To then use that information to push a woman into a decision that may not actually be best for her and her family is, "

• goes against training Anyone who is doing this is not doing their job properly

Don't forget though, that the OP didn't appear to really get the difference

The people who work for the health services recommend that mothers breastfeed because they are obliged to do so by the government as part of their job.
The government wants mothers to breastfeed because if enough women who can breastfeed do so, ultimately millions will be saved in costs.
It isn't personal though. You're not forced to do it.I didn't do it for as long as is recommended and i also used formula when it suited me.
But do you see why the advice is to breastfeed?

I do think there is an issue with regards to the training some bf counsellors, peer supporters etc are given.

I was all set to bf dd. I had a session with a bf midwife at my house, read extensively, found out about local sources of support and attended a bf workshop at my hospital. I felt that I was as prepared as I could ever be to understand the potential problems and issues but to persevere nonetheless. What I wasn't prepared for however, was major additional surgery following my emcs, where I lost most of the blood in my body, nearly lost a major organ and almost died.

Unsurprisingly, after all that, my body was less than cooperative when it came to milk production. Despite hardly being strong enough to hold my daughter or remember my own name I persisted with trying to bf in hospital for three weeks. After three weeks I wasn't even producing colostrum, never mind milk, and even the lactation consultant and specialist midwife advised me that I was hampering my own recovery and failing to bond with my daughter because of my determination to bf. Reluctantly I went on to formula and I have to say that for me, in my set of circumstances, it was exactly the right choice.

I felt that the support from the midwives, infant feeding co-ordinators and lactation consultants at the hospital was second to none. They gently helped me to try different things and were really encouraging.

However, I can't say the same for the peer supporters who'd barge in at all hours, not even ask me about my situation and proceed to give me a lecture about the importance of bf. When I explained our situation and stated that we were taking action and that it was all under control, you'd think I was talking martian. It just did not seem to compute and I got another lecture about how important bf was. I know they're volunteers, they provide a valuable support to many and it's all well meaning, so I don't want to be critical, but it really did feel like pressure. I remember just crying my eyes out one day because I'd spent so much time talking to uninvited peer supporters that I hadn't been able to follow my expressing schedule (and yes, there was a 'do not disturb' sign on the door - they just ignored it). It honestly felt like harassment at times.
We've since written to the infant feeding coordinator at the hospital to tell them about our experiences in the hope that others in a similar position will get better support.

So in some circumstances, for some people, there is undue pressure. I certainly wouldn't categorise telling a healthy pregnant woman about the benefits of bf as pressure though!

Advise to breast geez is one thing.
This thread is about pressure to breast feed.
Different, innit?

Breast geez?! Lordy, I've never done that!
Feed, obvs.