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Original poster

why is there so much pressure to breast feed??

587 replies

blondebaby111 · 30/06/2013 18:34

Just that really??!!! At my first midwife app it was thrown In my face abit when I said I wasn't sure yet if I would but I'd feel more comftable doing both. Why are you made to feel like its such a crime. I'm only 12 weeks so have alot more appointments where this will be brought up.

I have friends who have breastfed and have had miserable babies that rarely settle, they are completely flustered with it and some verge on pnt because of all the pressure. Yet the friends that haven't breastfed or done both seem to have happy babies, they are a lot more happier in themselves and generally just so relaxed. So my views are mixed on this.

I don't want to start a debate but I just wish we could all make our minds up without midwives frowning or thinking its bad if we choose not too....just saying!!!

OP posts:
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Layl77 · 01/07/2013 13:47

So a horse fed its mothers milk is unhappy or fails to thrive or it's mother gets stressed out and therefore makes its young unhappy? No! Actually anyone looking to buy a horse to breed or race will not touch one that hasn't been fed mothers milk as its that important.

workingonitagain · 01/07/2013 14:01

with ds1 igave up after a week and was never able to express any then said no with ds2 im expecting dc3 and i wish i had the willpower and stamina to stick with it this time but feel the whole idea terrifies me and for the sake of being able to cope with 3 dc(and i know it usually only difficult for the first few weeks but it also the most difficult time too in every other sense) i think im going to say no again. about the midwife pressure i always felt that its more of the guilt and disappointment that i never completely given it all that makes me feel bad when the mw asks me about it and i think its easy to turn it around and feel negative about the person who is bringing up a sensitive subject. i have no doubt that bf is always the best tho

lurcherlover · 01/07/2013 14:06

workingonitagain, if you want to give bf a try this time, you could contact your hv and ask about bf support services in your area. There should be infant feeding co-ordinators or bf peer supporters who will help you in hospital and do home visits to see how bf is going and to help you get established. Bf support groups are great too - it's really good to talk to other bf mums in your local area.

Even if you only gave baby the colostrum whilst still in hospital and switched to formula when you came home, it would still have given baby a brilliant start. Smile

Hullygully · 01/07/2013 14:09

Because breastfeeding is best

the end

worsestershiresauce · 01/07/2013 14:10

You're only 12 weeks pregnant! Wait until you have delivered and decide then as you may well feel differently. Once you have been through childbirth you are going to feel far less protective of your body and more able to share it with your baby. I apologise if that sounds a bit lentil weaving, but it was certainly true for me. The idea of Bf-ing used to vaguely horrify me, but once dd arrived it seemed entirely natural, and actually a wonderful way to bond. I ebf for 10 weeks, before moving onto mixed and finally ff. That is what worked for me.

Even if you have absolutely no intention on bf-ing please consider giving your baby the colostrum. It is so very important for your baby's health, and a couple of days feeding isn't a big commitment.

Rulesgirl · 01/07/2013 14:18

Basically breast is best because its what nature intended...not milk from the tit of a cow which is meant for calves.

The health benefits are obvious....its a human and you give it human milk.

The health benefits to the mother are also very important.

curryeater · 01/07/2013 14:22

The difficulty with the "choice" idea is that it is a million times easier to give up breastfeeding for formula, if or when you want to, than the other away around. New mothers are very tired and perhaps stressed and these are crucial days and weeks for establishing breastfeeding, unfortunately, when they might be all at 6s and 7s for all sorts of reasons - but they can't just put the whole issue on the back burner as they might sensibly do with painting the dining room or something like that.

The knowledge of this urgency may translate into "pressure" but although that is a mistake, you can see how this could happen. The sad truth is that the chance can go away if not grabbed at the right time.

MrsOakenshield · 01/07/2013 14:28

um - I've never seen formula advertised - in fact, I thought it was illegal to advertise it? I've only seen ads for follow-on milk.

The best thing about bfing is - it's free. FREE! FREE! FREE!

I think the real problems are lack of support and inconsistent support and advice for HCPs, once baby is born. It seems that I am lucky in my area that tongue tie is usually picked up at birth and sorted within a week - shocked to discover this isn't the norm. The poster who stopped bfing after much support and advice - that is how it should be, IYSWIM - I have a feeling that a lot of women stop due to lack of or poor advice.

noblegiraffe · 01/07/2013 14:30

Follow-on milk is formula. It's formula that's supposed to be designed for babies over 6 months old.

Babies over 6 months old didn't need their own special formula in the past, until advertising formula to babies under 6 months old was banned. Follow-on milk is just to get around that ban.

Hullygully · 01/07/2013 15:06

quite

bebsy75 · 01/07/2013 15:23

Even if you don't want to carry on, just do it for the first 3 days. The colostrum milk during those first 3 days can not be replicated by any formula and is amazing for your baby.

I did both after 6 weeks but always preferred breast because I'm inherently lazy and breastfeeding is easiest once it's established. No washing up, cheap, on tap.

Just give it a go, even if it's for 3 days.

Miamiami · 01/07/2013 17:42

Cow and Gate, SMA, Aptimal and all the FF companies have every right to advertise. I have never minded seeing their advertisements at all. I have no time for anyone who is obsessed with trying to get other women to do what they think is right. Again I emphasize freedom of choice.
All the information one needs is available should they wish to read up on anything. I did not want to breastfeed my child til they were 5, therefore I did not read up on it. Again I emphasize freedom of choice.

RJM17 · 01/07/2013 17:51

I am sorry but this thread has really annoyed me!! There should not be pressure on mums to BF it should be individual choice!! I have said I am going to do a mixture of the two and the amount of people who have tried to convince me to just BF is unreal!!
People need to realise it is the mums baby, the mums boob and therefore the mums choice!! Everyone should just back off and let each individual make their own choices.
Sorry for the rant but it really annoys me when people try to tell others they are wrong and should do it their way!! X

Miamiami · 01/07/2013 18:07

RJM17 absolutely, this thread is totally full of PO. The women who think they know it all should listen to themselves, and mind there own bloody business quite frankly.
No one of a sound mind would even try to coerce a grown woman to do something she does not want to do. Reminds me of religious freakery.
Awful, just awful. Again I emphasize freedom of choice.

Miamiami · 01/07/2013 18:08

*their

Miamiami · 01/07/2013 18:11

I wish I had told evangelical midwife I encountered to Fuck Off!

RJM17 · 01/07/2013 18:12

Miami totally agree its like trying to make someone believe in god if they don't!! It's a personal opinion!! Everyone needs to realise we are all grown women and can make our own decisions based on our personal choices, circumstances, feelings and surroundings. Not everyone is the same and you wouldn't start telling everyone that they have to have a natural birth then get on with their work!! But guess what that is what nature intended us to do!! Doesn't make it right nowadays tho!! I just think people need to remember that changes are made and science has brought is some fabulous things including formula milk so that we have choices!!! X

Champagnebubble · 01/07/2013 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Miamiami · 01/07/2013 19:08

Thank goodness I am not alone in this !
Thank goodness for choices!
I object to being told what to do, I am a grown woman ffs, so please don't even try to convert me to anything.
I was lectured so much with my first baby and it was woeful, I really, really resented it. It was like being back at school!!
Please BF ladies/obsessives get off your pulpits and do something else Grin because believe or not, there are a lot of women who don't want to hear you preach Grin
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I feel soooooo much better now Grin

lurcherlover · 01/07/2013 19:10

Those who think that formula companies have a right to advertise should read The Politics of Breastfeeding by Gabrielle Palmer. It effectively explains the very serious reasons why they shouldn't be allowed to.

lurcherlover · 01/07/2013 19:12

And Miami, clearly you don't believe in "freedom of choice" because you think bf babies don't "thrive" as well as ff ones, and that extended bf-ers have "ishoos". If that's not judgmental, I don't know what is...

pettyprudence · 01/07/2013 19:15

Erm, purely anecdotal but I did a quick straw pull with my friends and the conclusion was our MW's asked us at our booking in appointment if we had thought about breastfeeding and gave us a dvd to watch. No pressure from our health board!

So what are MW's doing/saying EXACTLY that is so much pressure? ignore image in head of a Mrs Doyle type

WinkyWinkola · 01/07/2013 19:15

Do you really emphasise freedom of choice, Miami?

You describe women who bf for longer than 6 months as having "ishoos". How ignorant is that? Hardly encouraging freedom of choice now, is it dearie? Standing in high and mighty judgement of those who are different to you more like.

How dare you suggest I have "ishoos"? Should I tell you to eff off for being so rude, presumptuous and evangelical about ff?

Man, there are some really divvies about.

WinkyWinkola · 01/07/2013 19:17

And Miami, nobody is trying to convert you to anything. Apart from understanding the basic science that proves breast milk is the best option. You can feed your baby whatever you like. Nobody cares but don't be a Luddite.

ishchel · 01/07/2013 19:33

my two girls were breastfed from birth and they both are in excellent health.

what I mean is:

This is not a place for anecdote. Every one has one. they prove nothing.

this is about trends in health outcomes in robust, peer-reviewed research which consistently find that breastfed babies are admitted to hospital less frequently for childhood illnesses and when they are, they on average stay for shorter times than formula fed babies. They also visit GPs less frequently, on average, for childhood illnesses.

The paperwork within the NHS support that. Paperwork doesn't have feelings or motivations. they just tally stuff.

One woman's 'pressure' is another woman's 'encouragement'. Maybe some open minded discussion and reflection may help the OP and others come to a hypothesis on why she feels 'pressure' rather than 'encouragement' to breastfeed out there can help bring her to a place where she can make up her mind one way or another on what is the better choice for her.