why is there so much pressure to breast feed??

[blondebaby111]

Just that really??!!! At my first midwife app it was thrown In my face abit when I said I wasn't sure yet if I would but I'd feel more comftable doing both. Why are you made to feel like its such a crime. I'm only 12 weeks so have alot more appointments where this will be brought up.

I have friends who have breastfed and have had miserable babies that rarely settle, they are completely flustered with it and some verge on pnt because of all the pressure. Yet the friends that haven't breastfed or done both seem to have happy babies, they are a lot more happier in themselves and generally just so relaxed. So my views are mixed on this.

I don't want to start a debate but I just wish we could all make our minds up without midwives frowning or thinking its bad if we choose not too....just saying!!!

[Smerlin]

If you actually read my post carefully Ashoething, I actually say that I am glad formula is there in case I or anyone else for that matter can't breastfeed.

Yes there are some people who can't bf and I may well be one of them but I do think that you should at least try given that in many countries it is in fact the only option. Some people on this thread can't bf even though they may have wanted to but others are treating it like a lifestyle choice in advance.

[babyhmummy01]

blondebaby haven't read all your thread, but wanted to tell you my experience. I am 33 weeks and have said all the way through that I am not going to BF. I have medical reasons for this as I should be on mega strong pain relief that crosses the barrier but it is no one's business but mine and DP's. I also have severe depression and anxiety which I am worried the stress of BF will trigger it off.

I am not gonna give you any advice on whether to BF or FF - but I will tell you to stand your ground. My MW has been brilliant, in fact all HCP's I have seen have been, no one has asked why or made any comments. I have stated I am FF and made it clear that its not up for discussion and no one has batted an eyelid.

Make your decision which ever way and tell them that it is end of discussion.

BF may be better but it is not the ONLY option by any means.

[withjamin]

IME - based on running an NCT drop-in/coffee morning and counselling many new mums, both BF and FF it does sometimes happen (fairly frequently, actually) that the FF mums seem to be more relaxed, better rested and less wound up. BF can be very stressful, and it takes a lot of practice and faith in the process, so yes, I can see why you would think that FF mums and babies would seem happier.
But what you maybe can't see is the potential for years of agonising about not having been able to/been supported to/dared to BF that develops over time - (anecdotal evidence alert) when their DC get repeated tummy bugs, are stouter than their peers, or any of the other thousands things we worry about - all those things BF is supposed to help with.
Sure, you need to make your own mind up but I think they may be trying to give you an informed choice, even if that makes you uncomfortable.

[StealthPolarBear]

"Its the mothers who keep it going too long to satisfy some need they have. In other words they have ishoos."

oh utter utter bollocks.

[noblegiraffe]

A study came out this month where they did MRIs on the brains of babies who were ebf, mix fed and ff. Ebfing enhanced brain development over mix feeding and mix feeding over ffing. And they accounted for socioeconomic class.

As for extended bfing
'The study also looked at the effects of the duration of breastfeeding. The researchers compared babies who were breastfed for more than a year with those breastfed less than a year, and found significantly enhanced brain growth in the babies who were breastfed longer ? especially in areas of the brain dealing with motor function.'

news.brown.edu/pressreleases/2013/06/breastfeeding

[Bunbaker]

"Its sad that BF is stuffed down your throat like religion sometimes is. I believe in freedom of choice."

Isn't the point of being able to make a choice based on having access to all the facts, and therefore making an informed choice? How are you going to assimilate the facts unless you allow the midwife to inform you? It isn't preaching it is advice, just as doctors advise people to give up smoking/cut down alcohol consumption/take their medication regularly etc.

[babyhmummy01]

How are you going to assimilate the facts unless you allow the midwife to inform you?

I agree with what you are saying bun BUT there are MW's out there who do get preachy and judgemental - my friend struggled massively to BF and instead of supporting her the MW, HV and BF support worker made her feel like a complete failure as a mother because she gave up. BF was making her very ill, she was stressed, depressed and bloody miserable and resentful. For her the move to FF was necessary. Not all MW's are happy to impart the facts and let women make their choice.

[Writerwannabe83]

morning everyone,

Me and my hubby are TTC number one and due to medication I take for an on going health problem it is a very real possibility that I will not be able to breastfeed - and I'm devastated.

I'm a huge BF fan and although I'm not pregnant I can't bring myself to think about the day where I will have a baby and will be giving it formula :(

I know that BF can be extremely hard and I have come across many mothers who are at breaking point and I am very supportive if they chose to switch to artificial feeding but I really don't understand a woman who doesn't even want to try it.

Breast feeding is the most natural thing a woman can do and gives her baby the best start in life. The health benefits for mother and baby are immense and breast milk is tailor made to suit the needs of the baby; the importance of the fore milk and hind milk, all the antibodies and nutrients the mother can pass on to her little one - it is amazing in my eyes. And all the research that has been done on the effects of breast feeding and bonding is also very interesting.

In my local hospitals or any health care environment they are not allowed to advertise artificial feeding or supply bottles/teats to parents. I also think formula feeding is no longer allowed to be advertised on the TV either.

I'm really hoping that when the time comes I am able to breast feed - I would even consider coming off my medication in order to do so.

It just really upsets me that I might not be able to do all the brilliant things for my baby when the time comes :(

[StealthPolarBear]

Whether you can or you can't breastfeed (and please do get advice and a second opinion on that as I am sure you are planning to) you will be able to do loads of brilliant things for your child. While I am a big fan of breastfeeding for all the reasons I've given earlier on in the thread, it is such a shame when it ruins the first few months for women and babies who wanted to breastfeed but couldn't/didn't. Breastfeeding is one of the amazing things you can do for your child. Also any breastmilk you can give is brilliant - my friend claimed she "failed" at breastfeeding having only done it for two weeks. Those two weeks were the most crucial and she had given her baby a wonderful start.

[NotQuiteCockney]

Writerwannabe83, look here for information on drugs and breastfeeding. When the time comes, hopefully you will find a way.

[StealthPolarBear]

No on things like this there isn't a right or wrong. There are courses of action that lead to higher risks of poorer health for the mother and baby though. That is at a population level, however at an individual level, specific circumstances need to be taken into account. That is not in the slightest bit controversial.

BTW a couple of decades ago women were strongly encouraged to feed to a schedule rather than responding to their babies cues. This led to supply problems fairly quickly for many, including my mum.

[MyNameIsButterfly]

I knew since I got pregnant b that I want to bf my baby because it's better for the baby. I had no clue his horrible it is first weeks. DC had first feed after she was born and then didn't latch on anymore. midwives kept asking me do I want to give formula, eventually I had to give one feed worth formula but then I continued trying. It was frustrating for both of us, she was crying and I was depressed but we hit hold of it. I had mastitis twice. I refused to take antibiotics and feed trough the pain. It wasn't easy but now we both love bf. It's so easy and lovely and special feeling. Emotional benefits for both of us are and have been massive. I think everybody who chooses to give up or not to try is missing out. It s not easy at the beginning but it's amazing. and she had been sleeping trough since week 7

[sheeplikessleep]

I'm 32 weeks on Thursday, expecting DS3.
I can't remember having had one conversation with anyone this pregnancy about breastfeeding. Midwife hasn't mentioned it once and to be honest, I haven't given it much thought. There certainly hasn't been any pressure.
I know it can be different in hospital, postnatal ward.
But to be honest, there is a grey area between being informed about the benefits of breastfeeding and support to enable it to work and pressure per se.

[Teaandflapjacks]

I am going to duck in and out quickly to offer blonde a third option - you can obviously mixed feed too. What I mean by this is give you baby a 'dream feed' at about 11pm at night with formula and BF other times. This gives you some flexibility with your baby, and others can help feed them for you. You can of course also do this with expressed milk. I don't think nipple confusion is a real thing (again having done a lot of research on this topic) - you may need to try different teats to make it work though (for the bottles). And there is the need to get your milk supply worked out - but this can be achieved out with support, and something to do anyway. I know a lot of second time mums who have done this mixed with a dream feed and swear by it. I think the formula tends to leave babies full a bit longer - so they will then sleep better over night. This also means when you wish you stop BF then the baby is ok with bottles already and the wind down of your BF is easier. This is exactly what I intend to do after doing heaps and heaps of research, and discussing with my Gyn, midwife and two other doctors, alongside friends etc.

It is right and proper you are looking for advice on the topic - and I will add that BF is for some women stupidly hard at first, and other very easy. You really don't know how it will play out - and you should be prepared to battle through it a bit to 6 weeks, which for most people seems to turn a corner. That said, a new Mum, who is at her wits end, no sleep and thinks she will break - FF is a very good and real option to help her out. There is a place for all these things in life. And yes we should all feed our children home cooked organic meals cooked from scratch etc, but that is also not the reality for most of us. We all do the best we can, and as women I think we should support on and other in that, without judgement.

xx

[MummyOfSunbeam]

Miami wow ... Try picking up a research journal or looking at some facts or going to la Leche before pronouncing sweepingly on stuff you really are uninformed about.

Incidentally my 9 mth exclusive bf dd has been walking independently since 8.5 months and the doctors day she is three months ahead on most milestones. She is also a delightful thriving smiley loving baby. Not thriving? Yeah right. She has also been non stop on the 80th percentile for height and weight seamlessly since birth (the red book). All with joyful relaxed breastfeeding.

[Layl77]

By breastfed babie are honestly the healthiest kids I know. Have great diets and haven't had antibiotics or anything. Purely my own experience but there you go. Of course it's healthier as its designed for them! Some animals have severely different health outcomes if not fed mothers milk - it makes sense!
They were very happy too!

[MummyOfSunbeam]

I am ducking out if this thread because if the ignorance from so e posters - i was so careful to be supportive in my posts but it is MIND BOGGLING that some people think formula is actually healthier. The facts are out there. I am around bf babies all the time and the joy and health of these little people is amazing to see. I am leaving this thread because it is SAD to hear such hostility to something so precious. If anyone is reading this and thinks 'oh bf babies don't thrive' (utter bollocks) and think they won't bf after all please look at the facts out there and decide for yourself.

As I made clear it is not just for baby - bf has been amazingly wonderfully helpful to me too, as a ftm.

[Dackyduddles]

Miami isn't wrong in that feeding does become as passionate a discussion because feeding boils down to individual experience. You should see sleeping and routine threads for passion too as people get very evangelical when something works for them.

However it's done we all do the same thing, feed a baby. That all said bf is better. In every study I've yet seen. Question those that don't too, often the study is paid for by a feeding firm eg cow & gate so hardly going to say its own product falls short is it?

Think, read and do what suits your own circumstances.

[lozster]

36 weeks and sitting in ante-natal clinic! Can honestly say I have been offered information but no pressure. I was unsure but attended the couples breast feeding workshop and got loads of helpful info about what to expect - pace yourself in first six weeks, what to expect in terms of sleep patterns and cluster feeding. The reaction of other people I have told about the workshop has bewildered me - others mums have said its weird to go as a couple as its just about the woman, my mum has said 'urgh I wouldn't bother with that, my mil has said 'you won't be doing that will you?'. And these are the reasons why you get a push for from the nhs, because there are so many pushes against! My hospital also provide a support group and home visits from a counsellor. I'm prepared to accept that all may not go to plan but I do want to try.

[midori1999]

I always find the idea that women feel being given information regarding breastfeeding is 'pressure', but all the formula adverts on TV, in magazines etc aren't 'pressure'.

Having given birth to 6 children already and currently 25 weeks pregnant with DC 7, I have never felt any pressure to breastfeed. In fact, had I been more pressured, I may have actually succeeded in breastfeeding the first 3 as I had wanted to, bur, no, I was simply told to switch to formula. In fact, many women are told to switch to formula at the first sign of any problems and if anything, I think there is more pressure to FF after the birth from health professionals.

I've never been asked at any of my antenatal appointments (there are many, I am high risk) about my feeding choices. Not once. It shouldn't even be a question really, breastfeeding is the normal way to feed a baby, so it should be natural to assume all women will do it unless there is a reason they can't or don't want to and that's no one else's business.

[Pyrrah]

I breast-fed DD until she was 3.5 years (did not start out with that intention, just sort of happened). She's always been a very happy, healthy child.

I had a hell of a job getting going - a massive haemorrhage, severe anaemia and the meds I was on meant that my milk didn't come in for nearly 10 days. As a result I supplemented with formula and bought a hand pump so that I could express milk less painfully than DD's desperate attempts.

I had a long chat with the midwives afterwards, and suggested to them that the classes on breast-feeding that they were running were all a bit too rosy. If I hadn't had a close group of friends, 90% of whom breastfed, to tell me that the first 3 weeks are generally grim and then you suddenly 'get it' after which it's generally plain sailing, then I would have been totally miserable and felt a complete failure.

Some people do have a lovely time from the off, but far more women have a toe-curlingly painful first week or so.

They agreed that they would try and find a way to present a more realistic approach.

Most hospitals in the UK either have or are trying to get 'Baby Friendly' status. In order to get this, they have to openly promote breast-feeding.

People who FF may feel attacked, but I can definitely say that people who BF get just as many judgemental comments - especially if you go over a year.

FWIW, I've read an awful lot of 'Mother's Manual' books from the 1800's which are fascinating. Most don't suggest introducing solids until the child is around a year old, and all suggest breast-feeding for as long as possible and aiming for 2 years.

This is not only for the possible contraceptive effects, but because it was seen as better, safer and more nutritious for the child. So extended breast-feeding is not new. In places like Mongolia, breast-feeding a child until their milk-teeth have dropped out is seen as totally normal.

I don't mind what anyone choses to do with their child, but there are good reasons why hospitals and midwives are promoting breast-feeding, especially when the UK's stats are so woeful compared with many other nations.

[noblegiraffe]

That formula-feeding is seen as the norm is obvious from studies that show breastfeeding 'boosts IQ' or 'protects from cancer'.

It's never formula 'slows brain development' or 'increases risk of cancer'.

[lurcherlover]

Indeed, noble, I've often thought that. If bf is the norm (as it should be seen as), studies shouldn't talk about it "lowering risk" but about ff "increasing risk". They don't say "not smoking lowers your risk of lung cancer", do they?