why is there so much pressure to breast feed??

[blondebaby111]

Just that really??!!! At my first midwife app it was thrown In my face abit when I said I wasn't sure yet if I would but I'd feel more comftable doing both. Why are you made to feel like its such a crime. I'm only 12 weeks so have alot more appointments where this will be brought up.

I have friends who have breastfed and have had miserable babies that rarely settle, they are completely flustered with it and some verge on pnt because of all the pressure. Yet the friends that haven't breastfed or done both seem to have happy babies, they are a lot more happier in themselves and generally just so relaxed. So my views are mixed on this.

I don't want to start a debate but I just wish we could all make our minds up without midwives frowning or thinking its bad if we choose not too....just saying!!!

where is this pressure to breastfeed?i bf all of minebecause i wanted to,because its natural and normal,and because i enjoy it.I never felt pressured,no one ever really mentioned it.

the way i understand it,the health benefits are more to do with potential,you might have a fully formula fed child who is healthy and never ill,but they would of been even healthier if they were breastfed,just as you may have a sickly bf child,they would of been worse off if not breatfed at all,all babies are born with different immune sytems,for different reasons.

at Amazinggg

i hate the breast is best thing,breast isnt best its normal,formula milk isnt poisin but its not what is biologically expected and its not normal and it increases risks of all sorts of things.

Tea - I did all the reading, all the classes and all the research. I was fully committed to bf-ing and couldn't.

Top post-c-section tips: make sure you are shown a comfy feeding position. Take all the painkillers they offer you cos once the pain kicks in, it is harder to get on top of it. Have the baby on your breast literally without stopping unless you need to sleep. Use the bell and ignore anyone who says to leave the baby in the bedside crib - the best place for him is on your breast.

I wish I could turn back the clock for myself but I can't. I was so much in pain, so vulnerable that all the reading and preparation in the world in the end meant nothing the world was spinning and I couldn't stay awake... not a midwife to be seen overnight, only hopeless healthcare assistants. I begged for DS to be put on me, they swaddled him then put him on me - wtf?

But if you read my posts Social you'll see that i was pressured massively, even after my son's diagnosis that his life threatening condition was down to 'maternal use of labetolol whilst breastfeeding'

Imagine how it feels to read 'breast is best end of' in my situation.

I commented on this thread because the op asked about pressure. I was pressured.

As a pro bf mother, I find the "breast is best - end of" argument is actually really upsetting.

In my circumstances (outlined on a previous page but in short, I nearly died after serious complications with an emcs and my body subsequently refused to make even a drop of colostrum), breast was patently worst. My DD would have starved if I hadn't faced facts and formula fed her, which I did with the full support of the hospital infant feeding co-ordinator and midwives.

I fully agree that breast is best in situations where the mother has a choice between bf and ff. However, to hear people say breast is best in all circumstances is actually pretty hurtful - I already feel terrible guilt and as though I failed DD through my inability to bf. To be constantly reminded that she may be missing out, even in some small way, is very upsetting.

We need to find a way of gently encouraging people to bf without resorting to arguments and what feels like pressure (even if well intentioned), and also need to find ways of promoting bf in such a way that it doesn't affect the mental health of those who are unable to do it.

Well said Raleytog1 x x

champagne regarding division of labour. As a Mum who has both FF and BF, I didn't really find much difference in the amount I did with a new baby. I had a lot of problems while getting breastfeeding established and I will admit that in the first few weeks I did find it so much harder than FF, but I was pretty unlucky and had my second bout of mastitis by 3 weeks in. It started getting easier after about 4 weeks for me and now I just can't imagine ever wanting to FF again, even if it was just based on convenience and I FF when guidelines said you could make up a days worth of bottles in advance and keep them in the fridge, none of this making them as you need them.

I didn't really do anything much in the first weeks with DD except feed her, cuddle her and change the odd nappy. DH did any bath times, held her in between feeds so I could sleep, he did all the housework, dinners, school runs for my other DC, just everything really. I didn't have to do anything much at all and breastfeeding also meant if I was shattered I could lay down to feed. It doesn't sound like much, being able to lay down and feed instead of sitting up, but it really makes a huge difference when you're that exhausted.

Pressure isn't an effective way of getting people to do things that are good.

I want DS to eat fruit and veg, and meat. I don't pressure him into it, I'm gentle and encourage, or make it an easy and attractive choice. I want DH to take the bins out. I remind him politely, not bang on about the consequences if the bin overflows and stinks. I want my friends to make the effort for our friend's birthday who's moved away and is depressed - I have spoken to each, listened to them and their reasons why it's difficult to get there, and helped them work out ways of getting there. I want my students to revise for their exams. I give them resources and time and space, and ensure their parents will support them at home.

If we're doing analogies.

( with an apology for being long winded, but this subject just makes me soooo cross on behalf of new mums^ )

I would echo a previous post which seems to be from a health professional .... what matters is a relaxed happy contented new mum, because that will result in a happier relaxed baby! if you want to breastfeed...go for it. There are lots of major positives for doing so. But ........if you are struggling and want to quit ....quit. If you are struggling and determined that you want to work through any issue then hats off to your determination ...and keep at it! Whichever ....distraught and exhausted new mothers should not be considering themselves failures if bf isn't working. If you want to move to bottle feeding, then that's OK.You need to do what feels right for you and your little one, because guidelines are just that: guides not rules!!

Back in the dark days (!!!) everyone wanted to get babies onto bottles and midwives usually gave the first one while new mums slept the first night after birth.

BF comes into fashion and, whatever the health attributes, it will go out of fashion again at some point.

I have seen young mums desperately trying to do the 'right thing' ( ) because "all the books" and "all the health people" say they should. Not just bf, but every aspect of caring for new babies seems to be defined and structured these days. Really, the powers that be ( and well meaning advisors/family ) need to give new mums a break*
It is simply amazing how many worried new mums start to develop confidence in themselves when they are given permission to think for themselves. When you say "what do you think would be best for your baby? what does your instinct tell you?" then new mums begin to blossom. Learning to trust yourself is something that is given little emphasis nowadays, but matters most of all!!
Very little beats a mums instinct ....and the best thing to do IMHO is to do whatever feels right for you and your baby Certainly your baby will feel much happier if Mum is feeling confident and relaxed.

"BF comes into fashion and, whatever the health attributes, it will go out of fashion again at some point."

no - it has nothing to do with fashion. Breastfeeding rates have been severely impacted by pushy formula companies, by bad advice and by society and the way it views breasts.

There are girls growing up now who have been socialised into thinking breasts are not for feeding. Fashion has nothing to do with it.

Though I do agree with some of your other points.

@ Writer. Ive 3 boys all ff.
Ds1 I hadnt a clue what I was doing and tried to bf him but he swallowed loads of mucous on the way out and didn't feed from me or have formula for the first 24 hours or so of his life, he was barely awake. The ward was heaving with new Mums and I got shouted at by the MW to make him take formula as she didn't want another baby in SCBU. When we were finally let home after he had 10mls of formula he got Colic and was a very sicky baby. Even now at 5yrs he is still a bit sicky.
Ds2, after reading up on here I managed to bf him in hospital and it was nice. I was lucky there was little pain. When we got home I couldn't wake him and we were both stripped off together to see if that helped. It didn't and I couldn't pump anything so syringe fed him formula. He came round after about 24 hrs so I mixed fed him for 2weeks. Ds1 was a very demanding child and DH was at the start of his illness so I couldn't get bf properly established with him.
Ds3, was on each breast for an hour each in the hospital and screamed when I took him off to try the other. When we got home later that day I'd had him attached to me and again screamed when I un-latched him. I then had to sort the other boys out (ds2 at this age was 11m) and get them ready for bed. I went to bed mot long after as I knew I would be up all night with all 3 of them. By this time my nips were black and ds3 was still screaming when I either adjusted his latch or put him on the other breast. It was as if nothing was coming out so I tried to hand express and it didn't work. By this time the other boys were waking up at various times in the night so I gave up and gave him formula. It didn't help getting comments like 'ds3 sees more of your tits than I do' which I thought was very sad. If DH was more supportive and helped me with the boys I would have stuck to it with the last 2. Ds3 is now 10m and I do still think about trying to re-lactate now but I think its too late.

sigh

However, I never felt pressurised to bf by the NHS. I do wonder though what would have happened with ds1 if I had help. I did get the MW grab my boob though after he was born!

by society and the way it views breasts
...and sadly this (and other motivators) will become the driver again at some point in the future, thereby tempting women back to formula as the preferred option. For now, there is extensive pressure to breastfeed for all the known reasons. There will, in a decade or three, cease to be such a major drive.

Perhaps instead of saying "fashion", I should have said it likely to be a changing pattern.

I am not saying this is a good thing. It just 'is'.

Thanks Amazinggg - that sounds terrible BTW!!! I am kind of relieved to be giving birth in Germany TBH as the healthcare here is very diff. to the UK (it is much better funded basically which then has all the knock on effects).

I personally think some health policies are formed by pharmaceuticals and government together BTW - swine flu injections anyone?! Not always based on science (margarine anyone?). And I still think that you un-make your point by lumping the analogy of lung cancer/smoking advice with BF. What people are trying to say is that the baby will get extra antibodies etc from breast milk, not that FF is harmful. Much like your body will get extra antibodies from eating super-foods - organically- and cutting out convenience foods but if you can't afford that, then less convenience the better etc.

apparently, in America, they have come out with a new brand of doll for girls where instead of the doll coming with a bottle for the feeding, it comes with a 'breast'. Well, it comes with a sort of 'bib' that has the image of a breast/nipple on it, which the girl then wears when she wants to feed her dolly. she then puts the baby across her chest so it's face is on the bib where the nipple is.

It is basically to let girls know from a very young age that breasts are for feeding babies with, not as solely a sexual aid for men :) It wan'ts young girls to know that bottle feeding isn't what is 'supposed' to happen and that breast feeding is the natural way to feed a baby.

Writer that sounds really great - we do live in a highly sexualised society these days. Living Dolls is worth a read for anyone so inclined. Where I live now in Germany it is much less so - and nudity is far more common here (like on adverts, TV etc) but without being sexualised, IYSWIM.