why is there so much pressure to breast feed??

[blondebaby111]

Just that really??!!! At my first midwife app it was thrown In my face abit when I said I wasn't sure yet if I would but I'd feel more comftable doing both. Why are you made to feel like its such a crime. I'm only 12 weeks so have alot more appointments where this will be brought up.

I have friends who have breastfed and have had miserable babies that rarely settle, they are completely flustered with it and some verge on pnt because of all the pressure. Yet the friends that haven't breastfed or done both seem to have happy babies, they are a lot more happier in themselves and generally just so relaxed. So my views are mixed on this.

I don't want to start a debate but I just wish we could all make our minds up without midwives frowning or thinking its bad if we choose not too....just saying!!!

I agree with you WinkyWinkola,

It is the FF mothers who seem to have more anger in them towards BF mothers than the other way around. I don't understand it.

In my eyes, artificial feeding is a convenient choice (unless the mother has medical reasons why she can't BF) which is fine if the mother really doesn't feel she can cope with the demands of BF (for whatever reason).

As part of my job I attended a 16 hour training session on BF (spread over 2 days) and a large part of it looked at reasons why women choose not to commence breast feeding, or why women start doing it and then stop. It was really interesting looking at all those factors and it was fascinating to listen to other people's views and experiences.

When my sister had her first baby who she BF for about 11 months, our mother was really quite cruel to her about it - said that she thought BF was disgusting and would always frown upon her when she did it. Absolutely unacceptable in my eyes. I still can't get my head around it.

I just don't understand why a mother would choose not to breast feed before the baby has even been born? What thoughts lead to that decision?

Is it considered dirty or wrong in their eyes?

I'm obviously very pro BF with my job but I am always supportive of mothers who have to stop doing it (for whatever reason) and would never make a mother feel bad for FF.

I do think there is some negativity attributed to FF though as when I do Baby Clinics one of my routine questions (if I haven't met the family before) is, "Is she bottle or breast fed?" and I find that if the baby is FF the mothers will either answer quietly, or look at the floor when they say it - almost like they are embarrassed to admit it. It is awful really so I do my best to pep them up and remain light hearted and cheery as I'd never want a mother to feel she wasn't doing right for her baby.

But I do wonder what goes through the women's minds - why are they embarrassed if they think that what they are doing is ok? Maybe too much pressure is put on women....I don't know?

Either way, breast milk is advised for many, many reasons but it doesn't work for everyone and what matters at the end of the day is that there is a healthy, happy baby and a mother who is enjoying her new addition.

x x x

Or if you're looking for a way to deliberately twist words and take offence. Cheers for clearing that up.

Not sure why you're being snarky SPB but if it makes you happy please don't stop

If you'd bothered to read what I wrote its because usually when I try to use a the argument about no one debating that smoking causes cancer, yet people are happy to argue based on anecdote that breast feeding does not hold any benefits over ff, some one comes on to berate me for comparing ff to smoking. Which is not what I am doing and I don't think I can make it any clearer. It is an analogy. Tbh it's really quite upsetting.

Lol at upsetting! It upsets you that you can't be offensive?!

The whole purpose of that analogy is to make formula seem really bad for health. I'm sure you could think of a better analogy to bang home that formula is nutritious, but not as nutritious as breastmilk. Maybe you could say it's like apples are good for you, but no-one denies that a fruit salad is better?

Or would that not work, because you really want to bang home how evil formula is?

I cba discussing this tbh but you're kinda making me. Just consider for a bit why it's so important to you to be able to use your favourite analogy on threads about bf, and if you're offending people because you like doing so then continue, but if you are interested in engaging with other posters then consider binning that one.

Ok. If you believe that I can't convince you otherwise. No I can't think of a better example of widely accepted evidence based policy. I give up. If you read any of my other posts, sure you cba, you'll see I am not offensive about formula and haven't made an exception for this thread.

Apples are good for you but no one denies a fruit salad is better?
Personally I've never seen any health advice relating to fruit salad. I have for smoking and breast feeding. Must depend on where you live. Anyway you have clearly decided I am offensive despite my efforts to explain.

Hi champagne,

Thanks for telling me the thoughts you are having. The more I can learn about how potential breast feeders are feeling (i.e why they are unsure about doing it) then the better I can do my job. I think that professionals need to spend more time with mothers prior to the birth to explore their feelings on breast feeding, address any concerns or misconcpetions they have (if any) and do their best to answer any questions. Talking to women about the reality and practicality of breast feeding is so important in order to encourage women not only to start doing it but to also continue for as long as they can manage.

It isn't enough to just give them details about research studies and scientific data as I'm not sure that would solve anything if the pregnant woman is unsure as to what to do.

I think women want to be talked to, not talked at. I think that pregnant women need to feel that their anxieties and doubts about BF are understood and respected and unless a woman feels she is on a level relationship with the HCP (as opposed to the professional coming across as the 'teacher') then I don't really think the discussion about feeding will be of much benefit.

x

It's very simple

Breast is obviously best

People that don't want to bf (not can't) don't want to feel bad for their choosing to ff

So they feel defensive

And say others are attacking them

Because they feel guilty

SPB, it's interesting in the context of this thread because so many posters are saying it's information provided during pregnancy, that is valuable and important to help mothers be more likely to want to and be able to breastfeed. The OP and others, experience some of this information-giving as pressure - despite the fact that I'm sure none of the NHS staff involved meant to put pressure on, they inadvertently did. It's not about the intention, it's about how it's experienced. If you are interested in helping others to breastfeed, you should listen to me and the other posters who felt pressured and try to understand why. It speaks volumes about your attitude that you'd rather bicker about why you're entitled to use your smoking analogy, rather than listen to me trying to explain how it feels to someone who has used formula? I wish I had been able to breastfeed, I wish the pregnant posters all the best that they will be able to and enjoy it - I think you and I disagree on the best way to help people do so.

What would you do champagne if formula didn't exist? Not have a child?

This thread is dire.
The pressure I was under to BF was enormous, and I did try and I did fail, and at the time it made me feel awful that I failed. I am leaving this thread now as it is bringing up bad memories for me.
I wish women got more support. I was lucky in the end as a different midwife told me not to upset myself. That was a midwife who did a home visit with me after I had given birth. That midwife I will never forget til the day I die. She was the loveliest person and gave me back some faith in myself.
OP do what you feel is best for you x

amazinggg people have gone to a lot of trouble to talk about the difference between can't and won't

Hully do you think that repeating 'breast is best' will help more women decide to bf? Honest question.

No one really wants a sensible discussion do they? Miammiiiamai and champagne etc. You just want to say "I felt" "poor me"

Well, it's a shame you felt bad for WHATEVER reason, but that doesn't equate to a logical or reasoned argument.

amazinggg I don't care if women bf or give their babies boiled turnip.

I am interested in logic and sensible meaningful debate.

Champagne,

Take a look at this website : www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/

If you haven't seen it already, it may help you make your decision.
The more information you have the better informed your choice will be.
:)