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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone not finding out? Girl or boy

48 replies

Tulipsandbuttercups · 24/06/2013 22:07

Everyone seems to be find out what they are having, with a early sexing scan or just at their 20 week scan.

We don't want to find out what we are having.

It seems to be more and more popular nowadays to find out.

Anyone else just happy with the surprise when the baby arrives?

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Zara1984 · 24/06/2013 22:09

I thought it was a trend the other way - most people I knew didn't find out, I was the odd one finding out DS was a boy!!

People shouldn't make you feel bad or weird for your choice! Your baby, your decision. I couldn't stand not knowing but it's different for everyone!!!

Hope your pregnancy is going well

LostMySocks · 24/06/2013 22:28

We didn't want to find out. It was something that we were both completely sure that we didn't want to know
Doesn't stop all my work colleagues trying to predict what I'm having...a boy as I haven't put on weight or a girl as I'm carrying low ......

Anothermrssmith · 24/06/2013 22:30

I don't want to find out but find the same as you,people seem to think it's really odd. My thinking is there's pretty much nothing that's a genuine surprise in life so lets have this one.

That said,my sister in law was planning on finding out and at her 20wk scan the baby was facing the wrong way, she's only 22 now and at the time both her and her partner were bith out of work so couldn't afford a private scan. I remember a few weeks before she was due looking at cute little dresses and being so frustrated that I couldn't buy them, just as we'll I didn't as she had a boy! So I apologise in advance if I crack and find out!

Babybump26 · 24/06/2013 22:32

We have our scan next week and won't be finding out, I like the idea of a surprise!!

Also, my sister who had her little one last year, did t know what she was having. She said that in the last month on the days she was feeling rubbish it really kept her going :)

Lynzi85 · 24/06/2013 22:32

I had DS 10 weeks ago and we didn't find out but we def felt pressure to find out ...especially with everyone trying to guess what I was having, but it was so lovely to go through labour and have that surprise at the end! To look down and see for myself,I would maybe find out if I had another as we bought so much neutral clothes that never went on him lol

Jenjen85 · 24/06/2013 22:34

No me an my DH haven't found out either I'm 38+ 2 now so not got much longer to wait (hopefully) before we find out. Has been amusing to hear everyone's predictions on what baby will be tho. Whoever I have spoken to are glad we haven't found out as the majority of people find out nowadays which is fine but we wanted a suprise as you don't get that many in life lol

Hyperhelpmum · 24/06/2013 22:44

This is my third, found out with Dc1 not with Dc2 will find out fri for this one if we can!!!! I think for me it's the planning. I'm SO busy running about after the other two I just want to get organised, get room ready (currently blue tones and boyish) and think about names. Each to their own though. I prefer knowing. Didn't enjoy waiting and found I bonded better when I knew as could imagine my son not just my 'baby'. Plus I hate surprises! Baaaa humbug!!! No one else I know is finding out though!!!!

mrspaddy · 24/06/2013 22:49

We are not finding out.. 30 weeks along. We have just bought pure white vests/babygro's. I am not getting tempted to buy other colours and intend to buy some unisex stuff even after baby is born as hoping to have another child in next couple of years. We are painting the room white too.

I think it is a lovely surprise to get.. also I don't want to have in my head what the child is like.. if I know the sex I will be wondering what will it look like etc. I am a disaster like that... I usually have to know everything ahead of time.

AnythingNotEverything · 24/06/2013 23:09

I'm 24 weeks and we didn't find out. Partly, we want the surprise, and partly because we want another so want all the baby stuff to be neutral.

I'm really struggling to find unisex baby clothes I like though. I know if I buy plain white I'll end up replacing it immediately, so I'm trying to do unisex but babygros are hard! Anyone have any tips?!

Lj8893 · 24/06/2013 23:26

We knew straight away that we wanted to find out, and everyone we told that we planned to find out was really shocked, but excited. Only a few negative "you shouldn't fid out" comments. One person even told me that not knowin would make me push harder

Anyway at the 20 week scan baby was in all the wrong positions for half the usual measurements let alone telling the gender and so we had to book another scan for 2 weeks later. In those 2 weeks we grew used to the fact of not knowing and decided we actually could wait to find out when baby arrives.

We had the scan today and I caved and asked!!! A little girl!!

We will still buy mainly gender neutral items (just in case!!) but It all feels more real now!

MrsLianeB · 24/06/2013 23:28

I'm 32 + 5 and the suspense is starting to get to me and oh now we are getting so excited. We have paid for private scans but stayed strong and kept it a surprise.
Most people are shocked when I say I don't know the gender and I have struggled to buy non gender specific baby grows etc.
I am glad we didn't find out as SIL recently had her DD and she has so many pretty summer dresses etc in 0-3 as was due 29/6 but she came 4wks early and these dresses prob won't fit until the autumn now.
If I knew the gender I would have spent a lot more money on clothes that may have been wasted!

cupcake78 · 25/06/2013 02:58

With ds we found out! We tried to find out with dc 2 but it didn't want us knowing. I got very sick of the mil saying not knowing was the 'correct' way and that she felt we'd taken the fun out when we found out about ds. All because she wants even more fuss (if thats even possible).

I'm now really excited because dh and I have bets on what we think its going to be . Everyone is telling me its another boy and I'm fairly certain it is but dh is convinced its a girl.

Hopefully this week it will arrive and we will find out

It's a very personal choice and the fact is nobody can guess because nobody really knows. Your baby, do it your way. Nobody else really matters!

Twinklestarstwinklestars · 25/06/2013 07:10

We didn't find out with any of ours, ds1 made it fairly obvious on the last scan though, with ds2 the consultant blabbed the day before induction that ds1 would soon have a brother, got to 37 weeks with dc3 and no ones ruined the surprise yet!

The midwives are always shocked we don't know and said its really uncommon nowadays for people not to find out.

embaker112 · 25/06/2013 08:05

We're finding out in a few days, but to be honest have found that lots of people think we're strange for wanting to know!! Especially DH's parents, they made us feel shallow for our decision and 'surely you just want a healthy baby, no matter what the gender' etc etc. Trying not to let it bother me as it's our choice as parents!

FoofFighter · 25/06/2013 08:16

33 weeks today and not found out and won't be. I think I am the only person I know out of my friends that isn't/didn't finding out.

MrsPennyapple · 25/06/2013 08:29

I'm 33+1 and not finding out. It's bloody annoying people saying "Oh it's definitely a boy / girl because of xyz, I'm never wrong!"

Although I am looking forward to the surprise, in a way it would be easier if we knew, as I'm trying to clutter DD's old clothes but have no idea what to keep / get rid of.

HazelShade · 25/06/2013 08:36

I also felt like it was the opposite -we found out, but most people around us didn't, and seemed quite shocked that we would want to find out. I think MIL was hinting that she'd rather didn't want us to know, but she's too polite to say it outright.

I didn't really see what the big fuss was all about. We found out because we could, and because it didn't matter either way.

TobyLerone · 25/06/2013 08:53

It definitely seems like the unusual choice now, not to find out.

We don't want to find out. I'd hate it if we found out by accident, so I will be very clear about it to the sonographer in the hope that they can avoid if if possible.

RuckAndRoll · 25/06/2013 10:04

We're not finding out either, 33+2. I didn't want to know but gave DH the final choice as I know he was struggling to get his head around things.

He decided no in the end after dithering right up until the sonographer told him off and that she needed a decision.

I've been told it's a boy due to the way I'm carrying, that it's a girl because of my cravings, and therefore it must be boy/girl twins and the sonographer has missed one!

PumpkinPie2013 · 25/06/2013 10:05

We are not finding out either (I'm 18 weeks and scan is two weeks tomorrow eek!)

It's our first so we would quite like a surprise

I know people who have done both and it's obviously up to the individual couple so no right/wrong but we just decided to leave it a surprise .

I'm going to mention it nicely to the sonographer that we don't want to know so that they can refrain from showing us anything! x

wispa31 · 25/06/2013 10:13

we dont know what we are having. i wouldnt have minded but dp wanted it to be a surprise. anyway the hospital i had my big scan has a policy of not telling, there was even a sign on the door stating not to even ask the sonographer as it would 'put them in a difficult position'. aw well, 10 weeks and counting...

mamachelle · 25/06/2013 10:34

we opted for a suprise this time after finding out with all three girls. Some days im glad babys sex is a suprise but others the not knowing drives me mad (mainly when i find myself in mothercare - neutral clothes just arent the same)!

The wait is nearly over for us now though, only 3 weeks to due date :)

Kelly1814 · 25/06/2013 11:10

25 weeks, don't know and don't want to know! i love the idea of a surprise, plus no interest in decorating a nursery/buying gender specific clothes.

apparently 75% of people opt to find out, so not knowing is deff a minority.

as i am 25 weeks with hardly any bump, (no one in my office knows or has twigged) those that do know (family) like to confidently predict it is a boy!

Applepiesky · 25/06/2013 11:11

We are only 15 weeks and we have decided not to find out. Think it's so nice for a surprise! Not only for us, but for everyone .... When people hear the baby has arrived, it will be "ooohh what did she have?!" And I think it's lovely.
As has already been said, it's a personal choice!
But I also feel it's a natural surprise that potentially you have no control over, which is special :-)

cantdecideonanewname · 25/06/2013 12:28

We're not finding out, alot of people seem to think it odd that we don't know, when I was pregnant with DC1 we wanted to find out but baby kept her legs closed, it was a very special moment when I looked down and saw for myself that she was a girl, looking forward to that again, I do have days where I feel desperate to know but we've only got 8 long weeks to go to find out.

Everyone who has made a prediction on our babies sex this time has said boy.

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