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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone not finding out? Girl or boy

48 replies

Tulipsandbuttercups · 24/06/2013 22:07

Everyone seems to be find out what they are having, with a early sexing scan or just at their 20 week scan.

We don't want to find out what we are having.

It seems to be more and more popular nowadays to find out.

Anyone else just happy with the surprise when the baby arrives?

OP posts:

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FoofFighter · 25/06/2013 13:35

I have to say it does piss me off when people say that it spoils the surprise though, a baby is special wether you know the sex or not - and to the person who said to me that it's that little extra bit that keeps you motivated/pushing when you want to give up in labour, what rot!! The thought of meeting your baby, not it's gender is what keeps you going!

FobblyWoof · 25/06/2013 14:01

We didn't find out with DD and we won't this time either. From my experience with friends etc it's becoming more popular round here not to find out after about ten years or so of everyone finding out, but we were definitely n the minority.

When we announced this pregnancy we were talking about it with MIL and mentioned something about not finding out (I thik she asked DP) and SIL pipes up "what, you're not finding out again!?" with all the indignation of if we'd just said I'd like to deliver the baby while riding a unicorn and eating rainbows. it just gets on my nerves as we didn't judge her for finding out with both of hers.

Franykins · 25/06/2013 14:02

I didn't want to find out but DP did. However, at our 12 week scan we found out we're expecting twins I decided I needed to know, we were told at a private scan on Sunday that we are having one of each. We have still said that we will mainly buy gender neutral stuff, then it doesn't matter who wears what and also friends and family will prob buy blue and pink. I will get a few bits if I really like them, but am planning on lots of white babygrows - I love newborns in white no the most practical colour but sooooooooo cute.

I do think more and more people find out these days, my sister didn't with her two. She had a girl first and a boy second. But she went out and bought loads of pink/blue stuff so really she could have saved money buy finding out I think. Oh well each to their own

FobblyWoof · 25/06/2013 14:04

fooffighter

I agree, although the flip side of that for people who don't find out is people saying that finding out the sex made them bond with their baby before they were born as if people who don't know haven't!

FobblyWoof · 25/06/2013 14:07

Congratulations frany

I think I'd have to find out with twins too! And what a good idea about being able to swap clothes. I'm sure with twins once everything is cover in sick and poo (I could not keep up with the washing, but then I'm rubbish anyway) you'd soon have the boy in pink and vice versa just for them to have something to wear

HumptyDumptyBumpty · 25/06/2013 14:10

I'm not planning to find out, DH agrees (I think, he was distracted when I asked him ) - it's a cool thing to wait to find out. No judgement of those who do - it's a personal choice thing.
Although all those talking about baby clothes are swaying me a little...

Franykins · 25/06/2013 14:15

Haha FobblyWoof I bet I will as well. Can see it now, DP comes home from work picks up baby in pink and says 'how's my little girl today?' and I will be saying 'erm actually dear all the blue is dirty, that's actually your little boy!!!' Hahahaha, that made me chuckle. I'd like to think he will be able to tell the difference (I'm sure he will) Not looking forward to all the washing, but our new machine (6 months old) has a baby and toddler cycle. I did get excited at the time saying to DP ooo when can we have one so I can use that haha. Definitely going to have to get a tumble dryer now though!

Franykins · 25/06/2013 14:18

Don't let clothes sway you HumptyDumptyBumpty there will be plenty of time (and family and friends) to get colour specific clothes if you want the surprise stick to it I think. I would not have found out if we were having one but as DP has two boys already I wanted to know just how out numbered I was going to be! Turns out I have at least one back up haha.

farmersdaughter · 25/06/2013 14:24

With DC1 we didn't find out, I thought we'd have a boy and I was so surprised when they said 'it's a girl'. I was utterly delighted and it was a wonderful surprise. It was also a lovely surprise for everyone else and I did look like I was carrying a boy.

If we did found out, I wouldn't be able not to tell anyone, so for us..better we don't know either

Supersesame · 25/06/2013 14:30

I didn't find out for DC1 and I'm not finding out for DC2.
About 50% of my friends found out.
I did feel under pressure the first time to find out. My family couldn't understand why we wouldn't with the technology available today.

I had many scans with DC1 and also felt I had to say to each sonographer, at the start of the scan, that we didn't want to know the sex. It was probably unnecessary, but by 38 weeks, after numerous scan, I didn't want them inadvertently giving the game away after getting that far not knowing!

I loved the suspense and I'm 15 weeks with DC2 so going to spend the next 25 guessing!

TheCatIsUpTheDuff · 25/06/2013 15:39

We did find out, and I'm glad we did. I was so sure that it was a boy that I thought they'd got the wrong baby when they said it was a girl! I didn't think I had a preference, but surprised myself by being disappointed. I'm thrilled now I've got used to it, and am determined that she will never know, and would have hated the first few hours of her life to have been marred by stupid, irrational disappointment.

TobyLerone · 25/06/2013 15:47

See, both DH and I do have a slight preference. We've decided not to find out because we don't want to feel any sort of disappointment. Nobody's disappointed in a newborn, regardless of the sex! There's no chance of any negative feelings because it's a boy/girl when you've just given birth.

callofthewild · 25/06/2013 17:43

I'm 25 weeks with twins and we have decided not to find out. It's something that DH and I were in complete agreement over right from the start which I think makes it a bit easier. All I want is for them to arrive safely after having had a pretty difficult pregnancy so far. My DH reckons it's a boy and a girl whereas I've always thought of them as two boys. Only about 10 weeks or so to go until we know, I love the fact that it will be a surprise.

Dogsmom · 25/06/2013 18:18

We found out and I was the only one in my ante natal class of 8 women who had.

We both hoped for a girl and she turned out to be one
:-)

Dogsmom · 25/06/2013 18:20

It does baffle me though how many of the people who choose not to find out then post their scan pics asking what people think or put posts asking people what their symptoms were and what sex their baby was.

soupmaker · 25/06/2013 18:40

We're not finding out. Didn't find out with DD and nor with this one. Not long to go though. I just laugh at everyone who tries to predict. I was told by everyone bar one that DD would be a boy! Even MW remarked that its getting more unusual not to find out. Each to their own is my view. Although I do sometimes roll my eyes when being told that finding out means that rooms can be painted the correct colour and an appropriate colour of travel system ordered!

C0smos · 25/06/2013 19:15

We didn't find out with DS1 and currently 27 weeks with a surprise. I live overseas where monthly scans and baby showers are the norm and it is extremely rare not too find out.
My DH was more keen to find out as he wanted to 'plan' but I'm not exactly sure what there is to plan, thinking of names gets a bit easier and maybe you buy more neutral baby clothes for the first couple of weeks.
Having a baby does not render me incapable of clothes shopping so I can easily nip to the shops if I get a craving for a pink or blue babygro.

Fetacat · 25/06/2013 19:53

DH doesn't want to find out so I have decided that I don't want to ruin the surprise for him so we are going to wait and see! Only 18 weeks at the minute so not sure if we will both suddenly cave in at the 20 week scan but if we are strong and get past that point I guess there is no going back.

Does anyone else think purple is a neutral colour? I'd definitely put purple on a girl and a boy but would anybody else?

PastaBeeandCheese · 25/06/2013 20:28

I didn't find out with DD and I don't intend to with DC2. It was lovely finding out for ourselves after all that hard work but each to their own.

soupmaker · 25/06/2013 20:35

I don't see why purple can't be worn by both boys and girls. DD wore loads of stripy clothes that were in bright primary colours when she was a baby. Now we have a pink mountain of clothes!

CPtart · 25/06/2013 20:52

I found out with both DS, am just too organised!

Also, If things took an unexpected turn during labour and I needed general anaesthetic for a CS then I didn't want to wake groggy and disorientated and have to process the information and find out after lots of others.

1944girl · 25/06/2013 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 26/06/2013 14:16

We didn't find out with DS1 and DS2. Didn't want to. I would rather have a surprise personally. However DS1 is autistic and it takes a while for him to adjust to change so I think in the interests of preparing him for his new sibling, we will probably find out this time. It will make it easier to be organised as we will know in advance whether we can reuse clothes from DS1 and 2 or whether a bit of shopping is in order I honestly don't mind if it's a girl or a boy - though I'm sure I will get loads of comments like 'Bet you're hoping for a girl this time' etc

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