PG after MC - posifrickentivity, hand holding, and smelly gush.

[IBelieveInPink]

Thread for ladies who are freaking out panicking slightly when preggy after miscarriage.
Plenty of oldies. Newbies always welcome.

And all my 'o' seem to be 'i' in that last post. Sausage fingers

[warning self indulgent, selfish post reminiscent of TTC rants]

Please can you all join me in hoping K-Mid keeps her legs crossed for approximately the next 26 hours?

The ex friend whose pregnancy announcement before Xmas sent me into a 'oh shit I didn't actually get over my miscarriage' meltdown had her baby on Sunday and it really unsettled me. DH keeps telling me I can't be sad about tomorrow because we're going to have two babies, but because they're not here safely yet I can't help but remember the baby I lost and feel a bit teary.

So at least ex friend was a few days early. But I really can't cope with a royal baby being born tomorrow

anda I will keep my fingers crossed that Kate keeps her legs crossed :) she's not due for another few weeks is she?

janie I had an almighty row with my DH this morning, completely mental shouting and crying right in front of DD, we had a very long talk tonight about how unacceptable this is and part of the reason was that I felt I was doing everything and DH never comes to bed with me, ever! He has taken it on board hopefully as he mowed the lawn then cooked tea tonight, then we watched a film together. Maybe you need to have a big chat with our DH, I think our hormones make us want to feel a bit more cherished and looked after than usual.

Your not our!

shell I'm the same during this pregnancy (better since last week though) because I had been feeling DD more at every stage after 17-18 weeks. It turns out my placenta this time is anterior high while last time it was anterior low which I guess explains the difference; and of course not every pregnancy and baby are the same...glad you've felt some strong movements, I sigh with relief every time it happens!

DIY sorry to hear your DH hasn't been very helpful or caring...is he generally like this? Can you talk to him about how his behaviour makes you feel?

Oh anda cyber hug! I know how you feel...with both my MMCs, I had close friends due at the same time (literally a couple of days earlier or later) and was quite upset when they had their babies...fortunately I was pregnant again both times which made it more bearable but only just as still under 12 weeks. You are so close to having your babies and when they are here safely, you will forget about all the pain and upset of the miscarriage (not fully of course but it will feel like a distant bad dream - at least that's what happened to me)

Good night everyone, hope you're all well! x

bump my theory is that she's due this week based on when she was admitted to hospital and when my mc was. And if you were super famous there's no way you'd let the press know your actual EDD - I wouldn't anyway

Anda you are right in that she is due earlier than what they have made out but I am hoping for you that she pops late as its her first. (I'm not her Royal Highness' birthing partner or anything but that is 'word on the street' in London town!). Be brave and I hope today goes by quickly and uneventfully x

Sorry to hear some of you have had crappy times with DH's, you have to remember that ultimately they are childlike and can feel neglected whilst you are pregnant and they are no longer your primary concern (I think we all agree first and foremost at the moment our priority is to nurture and have a healthy baby), their noses get put out of joint and they really don't understand what being pregnant does to us! Keep talking x

I've got that Friday feeling today - taken tomorrow off! YEY!!! It's my birthday Saturday. I am old. Still feel 18 but stark realisation this morning that it was 20 years ago.....Sob.

Oh anda i have sent a telegram to Buckingham palace with your request. 'Keep your bits closed today please k mid'. Sorry to hear about ex friend and her news. My best friends baby came a week early in February ( 4months after my mmc) and I hadn't prepared myself to hear the news. I burst into tears, I think of jealousy maybe. I was shocked at how upset it made me and she isn't even an ex friend. But not long til your two little ladies will be in your arms and hopefully you can forget about ex friend x

Thanks for the DH advice, he has a selfish streak and is never generous so I'm not sure why I'm shocked, I just thought he might make a bit more of an effort now I'm pg. There's no talking to him, he doesn't 'do' talking. he asked me last night why I was sulking and I told him and he somehow managed to turn it round on me that it was my fault. He's never wrong in his eyes and doesn't know how to say sorry. I couldn't be bothered anymore. His world seems more important to him. He couldn't even give me a hug after I got home from town after my fall on Saturday ffs :(

Sorry that was a depresso rant again

Hello ladies, sorry to hear that a lot of people are feeling a bit blue at the moment . I think its easy to forget that pregnancy is really really hard - we're growing a human FFS (or two, in dietcoke's case) so not only are we knackered, uncomfortable, clumsy, fat, and feeling sick, but we are also being assaulted by hormones that make PMT look like a walk in the park.

I believe (though don't quote me, I'm not a criminal lawyer) that women have got away with murder when they're pregnant, on the basis that the hormones can send them temporarily insane!

YY to former due dates being hard - I still get jealous of people further along than me, which is ridiculous. I think its all part of the grieving process - you never "get over it", it just gets easier to live with over time. So we convince ourselves we're fine as we're lucky enough to be pg again, then an announcement comes and boom, we're crashed right back down to the reality that we lost a baby.

Frankly, I'd like K-Mid to keep her legs crossed till September 1 please, so that her DC is in the same school year (and therefore same university year) as my DC. Because frankly, if Carole can do it, so can I.

Sorry we're a bit emotional and fed up ladies :-( Are we all eating enough chocolate?! Honestly I'm getting through it here, proper emotional/anxious/bored eating! Men just don't get it sometimes do they :-( Hope all your DHs start to see sense.

Big hug anda - one of my close friends gave birth last year a couple of days before my ERPC after the MC and it was horrendous. I put on a brave face but was dying inside. Then this year, even though I was into my second trimester, when two other riends BOTH had their babies at start of May, it still sent me a bit over the edge with jealousy and frustration that I wasn't there yet and also that they had it a lot easier than me in order to get to that point.

Janie - your telegram to buck palace bit made me laugh so much that I almost (...I didn't, thank goodness!!) had something happen that wouldve been my comeuppance for getting really bad with my pelvic floor exs, ooops! TMI?! Sorry if so! How dedicated are you all at doing them out of interest? I was good at start but then haven't really bothered since!

Fabulous idea to eat chocolate Jess- will pop out and get done soon. I hope you are being kept in good supply. Are you into the tennis- can help to pass your time.

Andadietcoke - thoughts with you today lovely, I doubt the royal baby will come today.
Imagine the pressure on the hospital!! Funny thing is her 2 specialists are gyanecologists not obstetricians!
I think of this baby as a special gift from the one I lost, my little baby I lost in January was too poorly to survive but will be forever loves and never forgotten.
But I still worry this one wont make it.

I have my admin day at work today- very bored, would rather be at home watching tennis and eating chocolate.
Hugs to you all xx

Aw janie tough times with your DH sounds like you (or someone else?) needs to have a good word with him, tell him what you need from him. I'm v lucky my DH is fantastic, he looks after me a lot with my PGP...only trouble we have is re his parents

Ooo what you doing for your birthday garden

santa I agree PG is so hard and we have extra mental/emotional pressure that other women don't have....I recommend rolo and aero biscuits for all...I've just discovered them they are amazing! (Maryland gooey cookies too)

Thanks girls. I highly recommend sucking your tea up through a king size twix. It's awesome

ah lovely to hear some good scan news ladies!

anda hope you are ok today. I haven't passed a due date yet but am dreading it.

janie my DH does that turning everything round to make it your fault thing. he learnt it from his parents who were experts at emotional blackmail it would appear. I've pulled him up on it time and again but its his default defence mechanism and it infuriates me

I am 5 weeks pregnant now haven't seen gp yet, waiting til I clear 6 wks. work has been so stressful this week I've barely thought about it which is good, although I did have a panic about the effect stress could be having on the pregnancy. fortunately I only work part time so can escape from it for half the week. In other news we have sold our beloved volkwagen camper this week we don't spend enough time on her and she barely gets used so its good another family will be taking her on adventures. sad though, it was DH and my first purchase together, lots of happy memories of trips! we are taking her on one last hoorah to the lakes this weekend

janie I used to suck up tea through a spira good times

Oh shell spira and hot chocolate was my ALL time favourite, they don't make spiras any more though boohoo...unless you've found some?!

Ooh spira's i used to love them!

Was so positive and then today on the way home from school run felt some quite nasty tummy cramps, nearly 14 weeks-trying to not think the worst as it could be round ligament pain, it's stopped now but it really shat me up.

pumpkin could just be stretching pains - I had cramps until about 21w. If there's no blood, don't worry. And take paracetamol - it will help with the pain which will stop the anxiety - now is not the time to be a hero

Hi all. So I'm in week 20 now and had my scan today ! Had to take the lucky socks in my handbag as wore flip flops! All seemed we and was confirmed that we are team pink as was thought at 12 weeks. That means I will have one of each. Also feeling sick and dizzy this week and have a large bump. Everyone keeps saying "not due until November?!" And looking shocked! So I obviously look like a hippo and only half way! Took DSis to scan as DH had to work. Sis loved it. DH has just arrived home and forgotten i e even been today! He is hopeless! Also not done anything different to usual. Even commented this week that I'm pregnant not ill. Goodness I just sneezed need to do those pelvic floors! Anyway 2mor I may tell people what we having and may even may even mention something on Facebook. Am getting excited now!

I do hope so Anda, feel much better now, thankyou for the paracetamol tip worked a treat!

Ooh exciting times Lucky, a little girl, 20 weeks too, you are half way there already xx

pumpkin i have experienced cramps but i'm pretty sure (after plenty panicking that they were stretching pains. there's a heck of a lot going on in our wee tummies so it's bound to hurt. as anda said, no blood = good. hope they ease off. (or it could be wind!)

lucky that's fab news! i didn't realise your scan was today! lovely that you;re having a little girl :) there seem to be lots of girls here...is anyone having a boy? i might have to do the socks in the bag trick on monday as we're due to get a bit of a heatwave. i picture me in cut off trousers and my hedgehog socks and shoes just to keep up tradition ha!

i came home and DH had started to make dinner!! nothing fancy, just heating up what we had last night but this is a BIG step. we had a bit of a screaming match this morning as he accused me of still sulking... 'of course i'm sulking i feel like i'm fucking invisible!' (excuse language x). he didn't mention our row, heating up tea seems to maybe be his way of saying sorry. we'll see. chocolate and flowers would have been nice. and a voucher for a prego massage. and a new bra. and a night away. ok i'm getting carried away!

Funny how the subject of Dh's have been bought up today, mine has been rather lazy of late and i'm always the one running the bath & making dinner . But so far today there has been progress, the dinner was made by dh & has even got the hoover out, although leaving the wire trailing through the loung for me to pick up grrr.

I could do with a nice bubbly bath, some lovely salt n vinegar snacks bought to my door aswell as a nice bunch of flowers-oh well a girl can dream...

Sorry everyone seems to be having a tough day, apart from lucky and your fabulous pink news! How exciting, welcome to team pink!! :)

Pumpkin - cramps are definitely, definitely normal. I had lots of these, even still get them on occasions.

pixie sorry to hear that your camper is moving to pastures new. do you think you;ll get something else fun to replace it? it's not the same, but i'm trying to decide if i should sell my beloved mini to make room for a bambino and all the extras they come with! i actually said i would only sell it if i could get a camper!

I love love love campers :) I wanted one but I settled on a pop up caravan as DH thought the camper would break down all the time. They are just gawwwwwjus though. I'm sure she will be much loved in her new home :)