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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Fiance isn't happy about me wanting to H/L hair :(

31 replies

blondebaby111 · 21/06/2013 21:38

I'm nearly 11 weeks and I normally colour my roots myself with a highlift tint blonde. I decided the minute I fell pregnant with our much tried for and longed for baby I would stop colouring my hair myself and after our first scan I would get hl done by foils instead.

However today I just mentiond how I can't wait to get my roots done soon to which he said 'surely u can wait til baby is here before u do it'. Now although my natural colour isn't dark I will look horrendous going another six months without touching my hair. I just can't make him see that foils will be fine as nothing is touching my scalp.

I'm a hairdresser myself and have done enough pregnant womens hair to know this is ok. He has now said for me to do what I want but if anything happens to the baby or is born with problems he will hold me responsible! I'm so upset at this, how can I make him see sense :( anyone had this bother?? Xx

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PinkFondantFancy · 21/06/2013 21:45

I didn't colour my hair, paint my nails etc when pregnant - you can't help exposing yourself to a cocktail of chemicals through things like shower gels but I cut out the optional stuff. Why take the risk? Who knows how many years down the line any effects or links to illnesses might be discovered?

AnythingNotEverything · 21/06/2013 21:52

Firstly, how dare he take a "on your head be it" attitude! What a mature way to react. He needs to support you and your choices.

Secondly, the NHS advises that it's ok. I don't think they'd advocate doing it daily, but a couple of sets of foils, particularly when the dye doesn't even touch your scalp, is said to be fine.

Do your own research about the many potential risks to unborn babies, but a pragmatic approach allows you to actually leave the house!

Aetae · 21/06/2013 22:00

Some people wait until they're through the first trimester to be safer before they die their hair, but as Anything says the NHS say it's safe.

Personally dying my hair is not optional, I understand where you're coming from. It's very nice Pink that for you it is optional, but I have SO much grey it would just be a horrible nightmare if I stopped dying it for 9 months! So OP I'd do the foils if I were you.

nethunsreject · 21/06/2013 22:01

He sounds unreasonable! It's generally considered safe. Plus you are more than a human incubator and I'm sure you're doing everything you can for your baby

KirstyJC · 21/06/2013 22:04

Good grief, I coloured my hair, both with permanent and foils, throughout all 3 pregnancies. It's fine, honestly. If you are worried about full colour then foils sounds like a sensible option.

ilovemulberry · 21/06/2013 22:06

You said you are a hairdresser,
Isn't he worried about all the chemicals you are exposed to when working. I still highlight my hair with foils. Will he do all your cleaning when you tell him you can't be exposed to any chemicals in cleaning products. Some people are so over the top. You don't feel yourself in pregnancy as it is, nice hair and a mani/pedi at least give you a boost!

Go for it !!

TinkyPeet · 21/06/2013 22:08

Full head

dopeysheep · 21/06/2013 22:09

So if you dye your hair and your baby isn't perfect he will blame you?
Sorry but he sounds horrid.

TinkyPeet · 21/06/2013 22:10

Bloody phone!
Full head of home hair dye last night....
Your a hairdresser you know it's safe, tell him to sod off getting it done with foils doesn't even touch your scalp!
Enjoy having your highlights done xx

Ginformation · 21/06/2013 22:14

Seriously no need to worry about dying or highlighting your hair when pregnant! The only extra consideration is that your skin may be more sensitive and you more likely to develop an allergy to it. Sounds like your OH is panicking slightly, I think it happens too some men when they realise there isn't much they can do during pregnancy, its all down to you.

lottiegarbanzo · 21/06/2013 22:17

And if you don't dye your hair and the baby is born with problems, then who is responsible? Or is this just something that happens, the possibility of which he needs to reconcile himself to?

He needs to mature fast, before he's in any fit state to become a parent.

Where's he getting his information that highlights are harmful? Why is he trusting that over your knowledge, experience and the NHS? The fact that he's doing that doesn't bode well for him trusting you, as he's going to need to, in parenthood. There's much wider issue there that he needs to sit down and think about carefully.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 21/06/2013 22:19

The main concern about hair dye in pregnancy is that your hair changes and the effects may vary. There is nothing that would affect the foetus. Just point out to him all the famous bottle blondes who have had perfectly healthy children.

haventgotaclue · 21/06/2013 22:19

I coloured my hair throughout pregnancy. I remember reading advice saying that in pregnancy your hair and skin could react differently and that is why some sources say not to do it.

I didn't see anything about the chemicals being dangerous but of course that could have changed.

I expect your DF will now be doing all the cleaning at home, so you don't have to inhale any of those chemicals either?

PhieEl06 · 22/06/2013 09:29

When you get to 36 weeks & feel like complete poop you will be glad for luxury's like hair dying, having my roots done last week made me feel a little more like me & less like a walking womb! Approach your fiancé with the NHS advice & explain how they wouldn't promote it if they didn't believe it wasn't safe. Enjoy having your hair done & the feeling of fresh roots!

cupcake78 · 22/06/2013 09:42

I've dyed my hair through my pregnancies. My baby's weren't born orange.

Honestly just do it! I find the way he's talking to you is very patronising implying that you'd put your own looks over your baby's well being. Tell him to go and jump. Did you question his diet/alcohol consumption and life style while you were ttc?

He needs to get a grip and find out the true facts before jumping to conclusions. Hair dye does not affect the baby, your hormones can affect the way the colour is taken and the outcome (I ended up with very vibrant hair after a pregnant home hair dying situation). It's fine to do it and over the number of times I had it done this happened to me once and was easily fixed!

Go and get your hair done!

Newmum0113 · 22/06/2013 15:18

I wanted to do my hair and when I mentioned it I though my DMIL would have a cow or maybe even a whole farm yard. She merely said, "I don't see what the problem is. I even had bleach on my hair during all my pregnancies."

I was so stunned! I was expecting a full on battle. Then DSIL has had gets done (she is 3 weeks behind me), and I thought she'd never do it as they've been TTC for a long time and aren't taking any risks.

As you know OP it is safe he is just being a bit mean. Or maybe you caught him in a bad day?

I'm very much looking forward to having my hair done soon. Was going to treat myself to salon but just had to go private dentist, so aunty's house it is!

IRCL · 22/06/2013 15:59

It is your choice, I think he's being really unfair to be honest trying to blame you.

I think it's pretty much safe especially if its highlights as the colour doesn't even go on the scalp?

Maybe find some info out on the net for him to read?

a lot of colours no longer have the concoctions they used to have nowadays but then as a hairdresser you probably already know that!

Champagnebubble · 22/06/2013 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

blondebaby111 · 24/06/2013 10:06

Some very valid comments there, no hw doesn't complain when I do the cleaning or being around chemicals at work!! He's lovely and supportive and although he hasn't stopped me its clear he's not happy about it.
I've cut out everything I'm supposed to but this is one thing quite frankly I WILL NOT give up. The thing that annoyed me is we went out sat night and he said have a drink, you can have one and I was like no!! But it wound me up he's so stressed about me doing hair but not so stressed about me drinking one drink while pregnant, arhgggg!!! Men!!

OP posts:

Aetae · 24/06/2013 10:17

If my DH is anything like yours, he hasn't done anywhere near the amount of research I've done into what's safe and what's not in pregnancy. So he has some opinions but bows to my decisions. I'd suggest you tell your DH to do the same thing (unless he's a midwife obviously)! You know more than he does, he's not being totally rational.

Bejeena · 24/06/2013 10:49

Looking at all the chemicals that is in the dye used in highlights I personally wouldn't take the risk, not worth it for me. It is a bit different putting them onto hair and scalp than it is working with them.

However easy for me to say, my hair has quite a nice natural colour, I don't need to highlight it or anything. If I did I might feel different.

AmberSocks · 24/06/2013 11:54

If you are a hairdress then you are around all the chemicals anyway,putting them on your hair wont make any difference,someimes it can cause a reaction on you,but it wont harm the baby.I dye my hair as usual when pregnant,with my precious first born i was a bit more wary but im now on number 5 and less precious about these things!

AmberSocks · 24/06/2013 11:55

my dh would not dare to tell me what i can and cant do when pregnant,if it was drinking or smoking yes,(dont do either anyway)but dyeing hair etc,absoloutley not!

AmberSocks · 24/06/2013 11:56

or OP you could ditch the highlights and go for an organic dye,or henna?

Flobbadobs · 24/06/2013 12:04

You're a hairdresser, you know much more than he does, go for it!
The only ason I stopped dying mine during pregnancy is because for some reason while using my usual dye it turned out bright pillarbox red rather than the usual coppery colour. I still don't know why that happened!

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