Pregnant at 18... can anyone share their experiences?

[Holly94]

Hi everyone,
this is my first time posting on this site.
I've just found out I'm pregnant - took 2 tests, both positive, so booked a doctors appointment for Monday. Started taking folic acid.
I was on birth control but ultimately it appears to have failed.
Anyone else been young and pregnant? I'm in a long-term relationship with the baby's dad, who's 21, and I can't imagine being with anyone else, but I'm terrified about what the future holds.

What do I have to do? Have I done the right thing making a doctors appointment? I'm not sure how to start midwife appointments, etc. I'm planning on telling my parents this wekeend.
Just wondered if anyone else has been a young mum and can share their experience. I'm scared but I know this baby will be loved.

I was 18 when fell pregnant and 19 when gave birth. I'm 22 now and have a 3 year old.

Yes getting a doctors appointment is a good step. They will sort out a midwife. It is scary no matter your age.

Thanks for your reply SP.
Did you have a lot of support from your parents?
I'm very wary of telling people as I know they will try to talk me into "other options" because I have a very good university place waiting for me in September. Obviously that's not going to be happening this September now but I know there will be future opportunities.

I was all set to go to uni, aged 19, had applied, was ready to go in a few months...Felt a bit weird, went on the 7 day break from the pill, AF was a no show, did a test and BOOM.

Thought my life was over but didn't want to terminate but looking back I didn't need to worry half as much as I did.

Am now studying for my psychology degree and have a very much loved 2 year old DS

It's certainly not ideal or a choice I'd have made deliberately but it's very possible to make the best of it and be a good mum, so try not to worry about how you're age might affect your abilities.

Parenting is one of those things that you learn on the job, no matter what age you are!

Congrats and good luck

SP is right- it's scary no matter how old you are. In fact my DD is 16 mo and I still don't have a clue what I'm doing most of the time

The worst part was telling people in my opinion. More because I was so nervous and scared of their reactions than anything else.

My mum was the hardest, plus I had family member who were struggling to conceive and didn't want to tell them until the last possible minute, for obvious reasons!

(Luckily they actually fell pregnant 2 months after me, or that would've been horrible)

Thanks TheOrchardKeeper and FobblyWoof. I suppose I'm just scared because my life seems to be turning down a completely different path I'd have imagined it to, although I already feel happy about it.
I don't even know how far along I am! The only thing that made me want to take a test was the fact my period is missing this month, and I've been feeling a bit dodgy - nausea, sore boobs etc.
I'm also getting cramping, is this normal? A bit worried as I went to Boots to see the pharmacist to see what vitamins I needed to be taking and I asked about the cramps thing and she said that's not normal in pregnancy. However I googled it and brought up loads of threads about women who had loads of cramps in their first trimester...

I was terrified of telling my mum. She was and still is supportive. She fell pregnant a couple of month later anyway so didn't have a leg to stand on

I was finishing college when I got pregnant. I hid my pregnancy and just carried on. That was hard, morning sickness and morning business studies didn't mix well

I fell pregnant at18, had him when I was 19 and at 21 has my little girl who's 9 month tomorrow, there's never a 'right' time to have a baby, you will never feel prepared, and like you said you will get opportunities to further your education at a later time.
The way I see it, if your with someone you love very much and you both want the same things it doesn't matter if you 18 or 40, go for it!
I would'nt change it for the world, I feel like it was what I'was ment to do :)
Good luck :)

I'm the same about telling my mum, SP, even though I know she'll be supportive of me. Just hate knowing she's going to be disappointed in me.

The morning sickness is beginning to kick in I think... however it feels like all day sickness :(

I felt like I was going to get AF any second. Got minor cramps from start til 20 weeks then Braxton Hicks til the end so try not to worry about all that. You've got plenty on your plate already by the sounds of it!

I was 17 when I fell on with my first, also on the pill, didn't work for me! Was 18 when I had him, and now have the most wonderful 7 year old :) the worst thing was telling my mum, but she came round eventually :)
You have done the right thing with the doctors appointment an the folic acid, just relax and go with it, they will tell you when the appointments are etc.
depending on the course, can you not do your later uni work at home perhaps? I didn't continue into university after college but I had the option, you could speak to someone at the university and see what your options are before you make the decision.
congratulations :)

I was 20 when I had dd. It was the best thing I've ever done. It changed me for the better and I've had two more children since.

I'm studying for a degree now and am still with the same man.

It's tough having a baby no matter what age you are but in some ways it's easier when you're young.

No one can ever be 100% certain about such a huge life change but you sound responsible and mature, I'm sure you'll be fine

Thanks Orchard, you're right I do feel like I'm about to start my period any minute. Keep going to the loo to check, feel like I'm being paranoid! However unlike usual period pains, they're coming and going, not constant.

Tinky, unfortunately I don't think I could do my uni work at home :( I'm meant to be going to study Spanish and Chinese and from what I heard about the course, Chinese was so intense students end up spending whole weekends on their work so I don't think a dual-language degree and a newborn will work out very well, especially as there's a mandatory year abroad in China. Looks like it's just going to be something for the future!

Ah ok, that would be difficult then, but at least you know you can follow it back up when you are ready :) x

Holly, I probably have no right to be on your thread, as I was 36 when I was first pg. All I can say is that there is no 'right' time, and you prob have lots of advantages being younger, and it is so so so great being a mum.

Good luck. :)

Thank you SixPack. I'm just worried about money more than anything to be honest.. However I know it will work out!

Could you defer the course for a year if you already have your place? Most universities will allow you to do that and it might help to reassure your mum that you do have a plan in place.

I'm 26 and due to have my first baby next week, my mum was upset at first but she came around quickly. It was just a shock more than anything, she wasn't exactly disappointed in me, just the circumstances. I was on the pill so she accepted pretty quickly that I wasn't being irresponsible. I am sure your mum will too.

The other posters are right about never really feeling ready too! Congratulations and I hope everything goes well for you :)

I was 18 when I fell pregnant with my first (who is now 20 on Saturday!!) and am still with her dad and am (at the grand old codger age of 39) expecting our third baby in July.

My life did turn out differently to what I expected, but that really isn't a bad thing. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn't had my daughter then. I certainly wouldn't change what I did.

I was nervous about telling my parents, not least of all because my and (now) DH had only been together a few weeks so I just blurted out 'Mum, dad, you're going to be grandparents!!' be fore I lost my nerve. Mum asked me if I was happy, then skipped off to tell my grandad!! As long as I was happy, they were ok.

When you go to the GP, he will make a referral to the midwife and she will contact you with a booking in appt, so please don't worry.

Forgot to say 'Congratulations'!!

I'm eighteen and 13+3 with my first. Also in a long term relationship with the father who will be nineteen in a couple of months. We've been together since I was fourteen and like you, I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. I don't actually have any advice since I'm still working it out myself but try not to worry, once you get past the shock the excitement sets in :) pm me if you want to chat

I fell pregnant at 18, had pfb at 19, she is now 10yo. With lots of support anything in life is possible and you will pick it all up as you go along.
Congratulations, seeing the doc was a positive start!

And I know how you feel about uni, I start in September and fully plan on going.

Hello Holly,

Congratulations! Another one to say its scary and difficult whatever your age!

Regarding uni, you will need to speak to them about deferring a year. Sept 2014 your baby will potentially be around 5-6 months, and you'll be able to start your course then.

Student Finance have extra allowances for childcare. You should be able to find a childminder (or nursery) close to your home and uni, and a uni course is always going to be vastly more flexible than full time work (which I returned to after 6 months leave).

Do not write off your degree. Your experience will be different to your peers, but no less valuable. Universities also have family accommodation for you and the baby, and your partner if that is what you choose to do.

Once you have made your decisions you will need to speak to the university and student finance fairly swiftly. It is likely you'll need to find and arrange a nursery/childminder a few months before the baby is born.

If your uni place is far from family, it might be an idea to look at unis closer to home.

You may be able to defer the ask placement year if you would like.

It might also be an idea to look at other courses that are related to your chosen field but more adaptable.

Don't automatically write everything off. You can do this!

Futterby, I've PM'd you.

Dolallytats, glad your parents reacted in the way they did! Just gearing myself up for Saturday.. not entirely sure what to say to them?!

Thanks pumpkin, makes me feel better! have you had anymore?

Well, congratulations!

In a nutshell:

I fell pregnant at 17, had my son at 18, went back to college part time when he was 6 months old, got 2.5 A-levels (A, A, C), went on to my local uni full time (and got a 2:1), separated from my son's dad during my degree, met a new lovely fella before I graduated, started my career, and I'm now 31, newly wed and 20 weeks pregnant.

It's not the path my parents would have chosen for me but it's genuinely all worked out for the best. My son is now 13 and fabulous and I love our close age gap. It helps that I understand Facebook and Twitter ...

Regarding your degree, my university were really supportive, I got lots of grants and there was childcare on site. You're right that the double language option may be a challenge, but some courses will allow you to do the minimum time abroad and split it over the year. A lady on my course did 13 weeks abroad a week at a time over a year and this fulfilled her year abroad obligation.

I did European Politics with German, but only did German for the first two years, until my peers went to do their year abroad. It felt like the best of both worlds to me!

And I think that's me completely outed ...