Pregnant at 18... can anyone share their experiences?

[Holly94]

Hi everyone,
this is my first time posting on this site.
I've just found out I'm pregnant - took 2 tests, both positive, so booked a doctors appointment for Monday. Started taking folic acid.
I was on birth control but ultimately it appears to have failed.
Anyone else been young and pregnant? I'm in a long-term relationship with the baby's dad, who's 21, and I can't imagine being with anyone else, but I'm terrified about what the future holds.

What do I have to do? Have I done the right thing making a doctors appointment? I'm not sure how to start midwife appointments, etc. I'm planning on telling my parents this wekeend.
Just wondered if anyone else has been a young mum and can share their experience. I'm scared but I know this baby will be loved.

Hi Holly,

I got pregnant at 17, 18 when I had DC1, DC2 at 21 - and now I am very nearly 40 and about to have DC3! it's like doing it all over again for the first time and just as scary as when I was 17!!

You'll be fine chick

I was pregnant at 17, gave birth at 18. It was scary and life was different to how I'd thought it would be, but it was actually so much better
I'm now 38 and DS is nearly 20 and we are very close.

Holly - my step daughter had a baby at 16 towards the end of yr 12. She continued to so her A levels and then went straight to uni as planned. She got a lot of help with childcare costs via a grant and also got help with living costs. Yes her uni experience was different to many students but she still got to have fun. She graduated as planned.

You may well want to defer uni for a year but don't assume you can't go.

Good luck telling your parents.

Yes Holly, 3 more

Hello Holly. I am a university lecturer. Spanish and Chinese is a fantastic combination, in fact I am trying to work out where you must be going to do such a great degree. (I also teach languages/literature, but not those ones.) You should definitely get on to your university as soon as you can to explain the situation. You will need to notify your department obviously but you should also be in touch with 'student services' or 'student support' or something like that (have a look on the website for the relevant term). There is loads of support out there for student parents and you want to make sure that you access it all in good time, and get all the right advice about everything you are eligible for. You might even be able to get in touch with other student parents at your institution etc in advance of starting. It might be worth looking at the 'postgraduate' section of the website as well in case there's a parents' club or association for graduate students (who are a bit older so a larger proportion will already have started a family). Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck! Are you sitting your A level/IB exams this term or did you do them last year?

Hi Holly
just thought I would share my experience with you .

I fell pregnant when I was 18 . I found out about 3 weeks before I was due to start uni . Agree with pp who said telling your parents is the worst once that hurdle is over everything else seems no problem ^in comparison !

I deferred entry to uni for a year and started when my dd was 5mo . It was hard going to uni but it is so doable .

There are so much worse things that could happen to you . My "teenage pregnancy" is now a beautiful bright 8 year old girl who is being brought up in as happy and loving a family as any .

Hi Holly94!

I was 18 when I fell pregnant with my DD, it was 5 days after my 19th birthday I had her. My daughter is 13 now and I think it has been a positive experience as because I was a young mum it's made us really close, we are good friends as well as mum and daughter. Myself and her dad separated when she was 3, but we are still good friends and I think it's because of the happy times we shared as a family. Another thing is, as a young mum you have plenty of energy to use along side your young child. As for studying, you can still do that, just a bit later than planned. I went back to study when my child went to school.

I have am now pg again...unplanned and I feel at 32 I worry alot more than I did when I was 18. I just seemed to sail through it back then. Pregnancy is meant to be a happy time and it IS a wonderful experience.

Congratulations and enjoy your little bundle when he/she gets here. There are plenty of smiles a head.

Hi Holly, I'm currently 32 weeks pregnant with my first baby, I'm 22 so a bit older!
Just about to finish my last year at university, so have spent most of the academic year pregnant and its definitely doable! Lecturers were all very understanding, and there is so much support they can give you in regards to extra time for assignments. A friend of mine has also had a baby while at university, she was able to stay until December, have her baby over Christmas and is returning this year to complete her final year :)
Also, in regards to the stomach cramps, this was my first symptom! Absolutely agonising pain like period cramps which would wake me in the night. As far as I'm aware it isn't anything to worry about (I've had all my scans and baby is completely healthy and I've had a pretty smooth pregnancy!) I think its to do with your uterus expanding and basically getting ready for baby to start growing!
Do you know how far along you might be? I was getting these symptoms at about 7 weeks.
Congrats and good luck! :)x

Hi holly :) congratulations

I was 17 when I fell pregnant with my son, at the time I'd only been with my partner for just short of 5 months, I was petrified but of telling my parents more than anything, I wasnt at uni I had a job at that point so didn't have uni to consider. Telling my parents was hard and it wasn't the best reaction, but they come round and was as supportive as ever.

Fast forward s few years, my son is 5 this year, me and his dad are still together, we had our second son when I was 20, I'm now 22 and nearly 30 weeks with our 3rd son, I go to college a couple of weeks after babys born and then uni.

Parenthood is hard but its so worth it and I wouldn't have had my life any other way :)
You will be fine, good luck :) xx

I'm 23 and 10 weeks gone. was going into my final year at uni in Sept so I told my tutor the situation and have defered for a year. uni were really helpful. I was so scared of telling my dad and ended up being a wimp and sending him a facebook message! he is okay about it, just worried. parents just want what's best for their kids so they might be upset at first but as long as you're happy and well they should be alright with it.
congratulations by the way!

Hi Holly, massive congratulations!

I was 17 when I fell pregnant and 18 when I gave birth to my daughter.

I'm 33 now and just gave birth to my second baby, 5 months ago.

Having a child so young did bring it's challenges, but there are challenges no matter how old you are when you have a baby.

I was able to go to uni, thanks to the support of my mum. She worked nights so was able to take my daughter to and pick her up from nursery.

I was a single parent but always made sure I made it easy for her dad to be in her life and we have a decent enough relationship as her parents.

Being on my own was bloody tough, I won't lie, but my daughter is almost 15 now and we have the most amazing relationship.

I've never once regretted a second of my daughter's life and I'm so proud to say she's my daughter.

I will be honest and say I'm much more relaxed this time around but then, I'm not trying to bring up a baby while continuing my education and establishing my career. All of which was hard work but definitely worth it.

You won't and shouldn't need to put your plans on hold. Life is just different with a baby and you'll need to consider the best path for you.

Babies do put even the strongest partnerships to the test and you need to work together to get through the really hard times. I look back now and see that wasn't something my ex and I had the capability to understand and do, but that doesn't mean all young couples aren't capable of it.

You were definitely right in making an appointment to see your GP. I'd suggest either calling your surgery or asking when you attend to see the GP if they have a community midwife at the surgery and asking to refer yourself if there is.

Good luck and enjoy your baby!

Hi, OP Congrats btw,

I was 19 when I had my first, I was again more nervous of telling people, people were shocked but not nasty.

I had to hide mine from my df (religious) for 6 months awful, awful time.

Hi Holly. I had first at 17 second at19. Loved every minute of being a young mum. Became single mum at 21. Went to uni at 25. Bought my own house at 29. Traveled the world and had a great time. Now 43 and dd3 due in July. Plan to enjoy this one just as much. My relationship with dd's couldn't be better
They say I'm there inspiration and gave them the belief that they can be who ever they want. Wouldn't change aday of Iit.

Good luck and enjoy xx

i fell pregnant at 19 and had a baby boy at 20 now im 21 and 36 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. both my babies had been planned and i wouldnt have it any other way. no matter your age a baby needs love and you sound like you have your head screwed on you'll be a great mum.
congratulations i hope you have an easy pregnancy. x

Age is just a number.
An unplanned pregnancy is a shock at any age. My third child was a surprise.
Between my first and second we didn't use any contraceptive. Because we wanted to have another child very soon. It took us over a year to get pregnant again.

We were happy and we thought we were complete. I used hormonal contraceptive and within 6 months I was pregnant again.

When we found out I was 14 weeks! I had no morning sickness, nothing in the first 3 months.
My husband just lost his job so we had very little money at that time.

I was terrified. Now we're so happy with him and that he came into our lives. I think about 80% of the worries that I had was all for nothing.

You can still do anything you want. Study, work, stay at home mum.
Things will change, but don't worry to much about that.

Try to enjoy this special time in your life as much as you can.

I was 17 when I fell pregnant and 18 when I had ds1, luckily my father and brother were supportive and my DH stuck around. It was hard, challenging but by god when I held him in my arms he was worth all the stares of I got when I was pregnant.

I made a Doctor's appointment first and he did tests etc then my care was transferred to a MW.

When I was pregnant I was working in an animal shelter so I could still my job, being pregnant didn't stop me from doing what I wanted and achieving my career goal.

The future is what you make it. I'm glad you're family support you. Congratulations!

I was terrified but it all worked out. I'm now married and have 4 beautiful dc with 2 on the way.

Holly I'm 18, I'll be 19 when I have my first daughter in hopefully just over 7 weeks time, like you on the pill but still got pregnant & with my boyfriend of nearly 2 years who's 22. Your not alone in doing this, it's difficult telling people, I found telling my OH's parents the worst but everyone in our lives have been so supportive. People are going to make judgements but your age does not affect your ability to be a good parent. I'm over the moon with my decision & my OH & I cannot wait to be a mummy & a daddy, our parents can't wait to be grandparents & siblings can't wait for their little niece. The only people I have found who have problems is typical "fake friends", people you aren't close too but know make comments, I smile at them & tell them that my little girl is the best thing to happen to me. I currently work full time but have only left college a year, I planned to go to uni in September to start nursing, instead I'm putting this off for a year & not going back to work after my maternity leave, don't let anyone make you feel like you'll never achieve your dreams because you've chosen to have a child!!

Congratulations on your pregnancy & I hope it's a joyful one for you & your partner. Feel free to PM me at any time! Xx

Hi holly!

I was pregnant at 16 and had my son at 17! What a life changer, I moved in to my own home at 17, and my son is now 4yo and am 17weeks preg With my second! Very crazy but you only become a better person for it, if you want to ask any questions please pop me a message! Always her for hand holding and info/advice

Congratulations and good luck